Au Pair Agencies (Hiring an Au Pair)

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Parent Q&A

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  • Au pair service recommendations

    –
    Dec 1, 2024

    Hi. 

    We have a spare attic room and am looking for an English speaking au pair. I am Irish and so have a preference for Ireland or the UK. 

    Was wondering if anyone used a service they would recommend. Expecting baby number 2 in the summer. Hoping for 6 months maternity leave.

    For those of you who have had an au pair can you let me know how much the service and on going support cost?

    Thanks in advance,

    Parent near Berkeley University

    Dec 1, 2024

    No responses received.

    Reply now  »

  • Looking for an Au Pair Agency

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    Sep 26, 2023

    Can anyone recommend an agency to find an au pair with a good matching coordinator? I tried Cultural Care, but the specialist ghosted me over WEEKS. Then after I signed up, I was blocked from searching and told that my child being trans, me being disabled and divorced, and having adopted from foster care were all issues to them.

    Sep 26, 2023

    Au Pair International. It is smaller than a lot of the other agencies and I think they take better care of both families and au pairs. We have worked with two au pairs from this agency and they too have spoken positively of the agency and said they feel well cared for. The two girls we worked with have been amazing. Yes, you have to do your due diligence and interview people, be clear about your expectations, and be a good host family. We for sure met candidates who would not be a good fit for us. The agency itself is just the right amount of hands on - they are available if/when we need them, checking in occasionally, but they aren't harassing us. The communication and expectations are clear. I love that the agency creates a regional community for the au pairs - our au pair attends monthly meetings with a facilitator from the agency and other au pairs and has made so many friends this way, which is wonderful. 

    Sep 26, 2023

  • Au pair agency questions

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    Jan 18, 2023

    Hi all,

    I was reading another post from Nov/Dec 2022 about au pair experiences which was really helpful but thought I would post afresh. My family is looking for an au pair from Latin America that will speak Spanish to our kids and English to us, that has significant driving experience and childcare experience obviously. So far we have been using cultural care. Our main problem at this moment is that we have reached out to approx 20 au pairs asking to connect/interview and only had 2 reply yes to us. It is pretty frustrating the amount of time we have put into it and no one seems to want to talk to us. I don't feel we are asking for an unreasonable schedule. We have to kids under 5 and need help watching our toddler while our daughter is at school - 3 days per week 10 h days and then I have said the other hours can be split during the two days with occasional weekend duty. I put a lot of time into all of our profile and swear we are nice people and that it comes across but the au pairs keep declining our request to interview. So today I moved on to Au pair in America but found out that they are requiring us to pay about double in the Bay Area to comply with CA labor laws. So now I'm totally confused as to why Cultural care is not and worried that we might get in trouble retroactively if we don't do this. 

    Did anyone else experience many declines from au pairs or have any other suggestions? My match specialist is not really helping me with this.

    Does anyone have any further explanation or guidance as to why cultural care is not requiring CA host families to abide by CA labor laws?

    Thanks in advance!!

    Jan 18, 2023

    I did not enjoy my experience with Cultural Care au pair and while I am just one person I want to share that with you. I am not sure if it was the agency or the specific au pair that I ended up with but it was not a good experience. First, this a huge business so the agency is interested in making money first and foremost. I did not end up with my first choice because she failed the English test and couldn't get a visa. I was late to the process so there were no other au pairs available and I was told that I couldn't match with anyone else because they had reached capacity with au pairs and families in the Bay area. Later, I was matched with a young woman from Argentina who had ended her first year in the states and wanted to stay another year. Since she was already in country, and supposedly great, I decided to match with her. The local match specialist vouched for her. But in hindsight I should have been much more curious about why she had to move on to another family at the last minute herself; why her original host family chose not to continue with her even though she wanted to stay; and why they required her to check off a list of completed chores everyday (I first thought this was horrible and later found out why they did that). 

    It turned out that she was interpersonally quite pleasant and also had no intention of doing any work. She chose me because I only have one child in preschool and she didnt' want to have to care for a younger child all day as she had been doing previously. She did absolutely NOTHING. She painted her nails and stayed in her room and came out to eat the dinners I prepared. 

    You may not be getting any bites because a lot of these young women view being an au pair as an opportunity to go to the US and perfect their English. Most have zero childcare experience. For me, it was a TOTAL waste of money, time, and energy. I ended up having to cook and clean up after her and she took the role of "host mom" very seriously, meaning I was her host and she was here to be nice to me but not to care for my child. I am a single mother and I didn't need another person to clean up after. I hated every minute of the experience. 

    Re: the money, you can always pay the au pair more than the weekly minimum if you'd like to. And although everyone's experience is different, I would say that if you need a nanny for your kids get one. An au pair is not a nanny (although many au pairs work out very well). I am SOOO glad that two months of her living with us is over. 

    Jan 25, 2023

    Not sure about the high decline rate (but would suspect it has to do with what you’re asking, not with the agency / agencies themselves), but I just wanted to comment that I hope you’re not considering going with an agency that doesn’t comply with CA (or Federal) labor laws - it wasn’t clear from your post.  Good luck.  

    Jan 25, 2023

    I believe Au Pair In America's rates are the result of a lawsuit (unsure of the details). Not sure what the issue is with Cultural Care - we have always used Au Pair Care and had success. They only let you interview 3 people at a time, so the process feels slightly more manageable.

    Jan 25, 2023

    we are having an au pair come next month. we are using aupaircare but i looked on cultural care and aupairinamerica as well. we also had a much harder time than expected finding someone. as to the california law, I believe it's somewhat of a gray area and au pair in america was sued and they settled. i don't know if the other agencies will be sued, but hopefully not, as the minimum wage rule doesn't make sense when you pay for room and board in the bay area ( but there are no guarantees). i guess it depends how risk averse you are but we decided not to worry about that. 

    my best tip is to reach out to au pairs who just got onto the site, once someone good has been on for a few days they will be speaking to other families and be less responsive. we only reached out to people the first or second day they were added to the site and starting actually getting responses. i did find that for whatever reason we got the most rejections from cultural care and aupaircare candidates seemed more interested in talking. i have no idea why this would be. good luck! it's not a fun process. I have heard that for some reason it's much harder this year than it ever has been to find au pairs 

    Jan 26, 2023

    Want to echo we had a dreadful experience with Au Pair Care and our au pair. Much like the first response, our au pair has zero interest in taking care of children, despite all our support mechanisms to help her get up to speed. We had to ask her to leave within the first 60 days. We had a 1st and 4th grader, and we weren't even using the person's work for the full 45 hours we were allowed to ask of her. This person asked for a lot of our care and resources but couldn't remember that she needed to make lunches daily for our children. We tried a lot of strategies to help her and set her up for success. She was 23 and would ask us for rides to BART despite a bus line outside our house that goes to BART stations in Oakland. She wouldn't respect our COVID limits despite telling her in advance what they might be and even offering her the chance to choose not to come if that didn't work for her. 
    We realized that our kids' past sitter was only marginally more expensive than the au pair, didn't live with us as a sponge, and genuinely cares for our kids. We'd much prefer to pay a person who takes their job seriously. Both people are exactly the same age (22), so it wasn't an age-maturity issue. 
    Further, we found the agency liaison mostly unhelpful. We know people who have had positive experiences with au pairs, but when considering if we'd do it again with a different person, we've realized the risk of a self-interested person wasn't worth it. 

    Feb 1, 2023

    Hi there, not sure about the cost differences between Au Pair in America and Cultural Care but to answer some of your other questions:

    --typically it does take some months to find an au pair (we are welcoming our 4th au pair in about a month and each time it has taken me a few months to find the right person) so I don't think that is personal to you, but sort of just the way the matching process works honestly

    --it is quite common to reach out to several au pairs and have many of them decline (in my experience personally it was either because they didn't want our family b/c we have three kids or because they were already speaking to several other families at the time) again I would not take this personally per se I think it is just a common situation where host mom/dad reaches out and the au pairs decline even before they interview with you, even if your profile is great!

    --it sounds like your schedule is totally reasonable so I would not worry about that!

    --I would just keep moving forward with reaching out, either on CC or Au Pair in America, and eventually you will find enough au pairs to interview and as long as you click with someone then you can move forward - again this process can take 2-3 months sometimes to find the right match in my experience

    --One thing I would caution is that these girls have MINIMAL childcare experience - it is more like they have been babysitters but not real nannies. So if you are looking for someone more like a nanny (a lot of childcare experience, knows how to help take care of the house, cook etc) I would look at a nanny instead of au pair. These are young women who typically have little experience and they can help with the kids and are great for flexibility but it is NOT a nanny (coming from someone who has had both professional nannies and 4 years of au pairs). With that said: AP can be wonderful, it can be great for the family, but just to have the right expectation. 

    Best of luck!!

    Feb 8, 2023

    I wanted to reply because everyone seemed pretty negative about AuPairs! But I am about to welcome our third. There are pluses and minuses to having an AuPair. Pluses: Flexible schedule! Our AuPair works for 1 hour in the morning to get the kids out the door and dropped off at school, and then picks them at after school until 6 or later for a date night and sometimes on Saturdays. I don't think it would be so easy to find a nanny who could work those hours and be as flexible. We never have to hire a nighttime sitter because generally she can flexible and work whichever evening we need her to.

    Minuses: You have to provide room & board (we have a separate in-law apartment so they really have their own space and only join us for dinner 1-2x/week.) Car insurance, phone, etc also need to get factored into the cost. You definitely save money vs a full time nanny, but if you could find someone who was willing to work the hours you wanted maybe it would be cheaper. If you are going with an AuPair from South America you should be prepared to spend some $ on driving lessons. 

    The CA Labor Laws do not apply to live in AuPairs, Cultural Care is following all relevant laws and regs. The only state that has changed their requirement on this is MA and apparently that is why the other company changed their rules, to align across all states. At least that is what I heard. I think there is a chance that the law could change here and you would have to pay minimum wage to the AuPair but that is not the case at this point. 

    Feb 8, 2023

  • Au pair agencies - which would you recommend?

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    Nov 27, 2022

    Hi BPN!

    We're interested in hosting an au pair but wondering which au pair agencies to use AND which ones to stay away from.  The last BPN question on this was from 2006 (!!), which was 16 years ago (feeling old now haha).  Also, any advice on how to select a good au pair who isn't here to party (read the old au pair Q&A section of BPN, slightly scared now...)?

    Any help navigating this would be much appreciated!

    Nov 27, 2022

    Hi TG,

    We have had an au pair for 2 years. We have the amazing and the terrible experiences with au pair selection. But I will say the Au Pair in America organization has been great through it all. I highly suggest using their agency. If you'd like to chat more let me know. Also, we are switching to a nanny share in 2023. Our current au pair is wonderful if you are interested.

    Nov 30, 2022

    well we have not successfully matched with an au pair so I don't have the best advice but here's what I have learned so far: there's aupaircare, au pair in america and cultural care. starting in 2023 any au pair hired in california from au pair in america will need to be paid minimum wage. we have been surprised at the expectations of many of the au pairs we have interviewed- not all, but many expect a private bathroom, personal car, 9-5 with weekends off etc. We are trying to be upfront about what we can offer and what we expect to avoid wasting everyone's time. It's taking us much longer than we expect to find someone we are excited about. Not sure if that's typical or just our experience. A few more thoughts: we prefer the profile format on aupaircare, we find it easier to get a sense of the au pair than from the profiles on cultural care. but the cultural care website does have the option to filter for english proficiency which au pair care doesn't have. both websites are slow. we signed up for both.

    Nov 30, 2022

    We have used Au Pair Care and they have worked well. I believe the fees between agencies are similar, so not sure if there is an ability to "shop around." We chose them because they are based in SF, making their staff slightly more accessible (vs. an east coast based agency). They have also had a good a selection of APs and were supportive during COVID when there were a number of travel restrictions.

    For AP selection, there are lots of aspects to consider! They are an employee, but also a roommate. We created a rubric that assess things like English ability, familiarity with caring for kids at the age we have, driving ability, dietary preferences, cleanliness, etc. We also try to get at what the AP wants to do while in the US (e.g. travel every weekend, learn English). For us, we tend to go for APs who are young (19-20) and are doing a "gap year" before going to college. The 25-26 year olds seem more interested in traveling / partying, but it is person dependent!

    Nov 30, 2022

    Hi! We used Culture Care and I found the interface really helpful for finding someone. I also explained to our coordinator what traits we needed in an aupair and she told me the best cultural fit and experience fit for us. In general I think an aupair who has already done a year with a family is a must otherwise you’ll be dealing with a huge learning curve regarding culture and just generally with life as an aupair! Trust your instincts too!! We found someone amazing!! 

    Nov 30, 2022

    Hi there, we have used Cultural Care for a few years. We are searching now for our fourth au pair (have had 3 over the past 4 years or so). Here are a few tips, but of course personal preference plays a large role in how you choose someone.

    --search for someone 22-26 rather than in the 18-22 range, they have a little more experience and might be more comfortable moving away from home

    --search for someone who has driven a fair amount so they are comfortable driving in America

    --ask them their hobbies - you want someone outgoing enough to make friends of course, but if they are too much into partying then that might be a warning sign (a good au pair will ask about the kids, their ages, what they like to do and won't only be focused on asking you about what your house is like, your city is life, what life in America is like) 

    --emphasize the importance of being on time, being organized, being clean, responsible, no drugs etc. they are here for a cultural experience but also they have to abide by the rules and respect your home of course (I would also ask about friends, boyfriends - are they wanting people to stay over? they should check with you first etc) you don't want them bringing a bunch of friends over all the time, at least in the beginning (it is different once you are comfortable and know their good friends of course, that takes a bit of time).

    --I typically do 3-5 Facetime/WhatsApp interviews before matching with someone. I get a sense of them, ask them a ton of questions, have them ask me a ton of questions, show them all the kids, etc. I have never rematched and getting ready for our 4th AP. I think if you put in more time and work up front you are less likely to get surprises and have to enter the whole rematching process.

    --Remember: you are not getting a nanny. An AP is a young-ish lady usually from another country (who may never have been away from family) who typically likes kids but also may not have a ton of experience! Expectations for an AP are typically a bit different than a nanny. With that said, they can be wonderful and it can be a great experience for everyone.

    I have a long list of questions I can share, if you wish you can email me and I can send that to you. Best of luck.

    Nov 30, 2022

    Hi TG 

    I used Cultural Care Au Pair. They seem fine enough. I have not enjoyed my au pair experience however. I don't think I fully appreciated that I would be considered a "host mom." In other words, the au pair has become someone I take care of and it's not making my life easier. She is lovely but it's not working for me and I've just let her know we won't be able to continue. I don't think I really understood that many au pairs don't consider it a job. They think of it as a chance to live abroad but not as a real job caring for someone's kid. 

    Nov 30, 2022

    We've hosted two au pairs (from France and Spain) via Cultural Care and are now interviewing for the third. We like the agency mostly for their matching interface: each AP can only be 'connected' to 3 potential families at a time (and vice versa), which means if an AP is talking to you then they're genuinely interested (in some other platforms they can talk to an unlimited # of families at a time). I agree with others that you should know what you're getting into. We never ask APs to work overtime, nor weekends. When we cook family meals, we cook for them too  (cooking slightly larger amounts isn't really that much extra work). We invite them to restaurants when we go out. We've flown our APs with us on family trips to Miami and to the Caribbean, and taken them with us to concerts, comedy shows, wine tastings, horseback riding, and other fun activities. In all cases, we pay all expenses. They're here for an experience, and we want to make sure they have a good time they'll look back on positively for the rest of their lives.

    If you enjoy playing host, it's a great program. If you just want a nanny, then it's not a great program. Just to be clear though, the AP helps us a lot. Our first AP joined before either child was in daycare, so they watched the kids 7:30am-4:30pm every day, cooked and fed them, took them out for different activities every day, arranged playdates, etc. Now that the kids are in pre-school, the AP has a split schedule: morning prep and school dropoff, then free, then late afternoon school pickup and spend time with the kids until 6:30pm (and for the latter portion of that, typically one parent will be around to help). The AP cooks all child meals (except sometimes when we all eat the same thing), bathes them, does their laundry, etc. In terms of time, having AP help is of tremendous help (even taking into account the time that we spend playing host).

    Dec 7, 2022

    Thank you so much all!  Really appreciate all the advice - so helpful!  Very thankful for you all at BPN  :)

    Wish us luck!!  We’re planning to move forward with the au pair search, keeping in mind all the advice received.

    Dec 7, 2022
RE:
Where to find live-in care, not an au pair? (Aug 20, 2018)

We use aupaircare and haven't had a problem getting 45 hours of work. We make our needs very clear during the interview process and rule out anyone who is uncomfortable with that.  For an au pair to maintain a good attitude, you do need to treat them well, which means not going over 45 hours, letting them know the schedule ahead of time, and making sure they are able to achieve their goals for the year, which may or not include close integration with your family. 

Aug 22, 2018
Recommended:
Au Pair Agencies (Hiring an Au Pair)

Archived Q&A and Reviews

 

Looking for a good Au Pair Agency

March 2006

 

I am looking for a good au pair agency in the Bay Area. THe current postings are over a year old so anyone with more recent experience with an agency, I would love your input. Thanks! megan


Hi, I used Au Pair Care and have had a great experience. I actually first signed up with cultural care au pair and switched because I didn't like their matching process. Cultural care only lets you see one application at a time, they ''pick'' someone for you, and you don't get to browse thru applications. They kept sending me people I wasn't sure about. Au pair care lets you browse through all the applications so you get a better sense of who is out there. Also, with au pair care's matching process, the au pairs have more control over who they choose as a family, so I think its more likely that a good match will be made. In the end, I matched with a wonderful au pair, she has been here a year and will probably be staying a second. Also, Au Pair Care is local, based in SF.. That said, I know people who have also been happy with Cultural Care au pair, so its just a personal choice. good luck


I have used both Au Pair Care and Cultural Care Au Pair and I found them both to be good. I think the local representative from Au Pair Care is especially good. She is a mom and seems to be very knowledgable about issues that can arise. Au Pair Care also has a nice system where you can see everyone in their database and pick those au pairs you want to interview. Cultural Care just ''matches'' you with an au pair and you can't see who else they have in their database. But I don't think you would go wrong with either of them. anonymous


AU PAIR USA is a great option for a great au pair. All of the au pairs are pre-screened and tested for English language skills; and are trained in CPR, first aid and child development. You can look them up at www.aupairusa.org tracie.wold [at] comcast.net


Hi, I don't have a recomendation for a good Au Pair agency but would like to advise you to stay away from a specific one. I came to the US 8 years ago as an Au Pair with Au Pair in America agency.They don't offer much support for the family and none for the Au Pairs. Several girls I've meet have had a bad experience, such as the counselor not responding, not caring etc. I personally have had to change families due to the horrible situation I've been placed in and it took months of me complaining to my counselor to say that if I want to change families they would not be able to get anyone since it is a bad ''recomendation'' for an Au Pair to want to switch. My situation was not livable, and I ended up breaking my contract again due to poor care from the agency.(realy, it took over 4 months of me crying for them to even consider a change- the family never provided mediacl insurance for me and refused to pay for my college classes which is mandatory for Au Pair visas and usualy included in the agency contract). Again this is not a recomendation, but I just felt that if you are looking for a great Au Pair, you should also look for an agency that takes good care of you and them. anon


I recently used Au Pair Care which has a local San Francisco Office. I am pleased with my au pair who arrived from Mexico in January, but I have some words of wisdom about using an au pair agency if you care to hear them. If you have specific questions, please feel free to email me. Linda

 

Hiring an Au Pair without an agency

July 2002

 

We know a girl in Germany, who would like to spend a year with us as an au pair girl. Since the girl has been a friend of ours since several years, we were wondering if we could hire her as an au pair without going through an au pair agency. They would charge us up-front more than $4000 for service we don4t really need. In particular I am interested to understand if we could sign the IAP-66 for ourselves and what guaranees the department of state requires to ensure that she is returning to Germany after her time is over. Karen


having worked for a student exchange program, I know that only programs designated by the State Dept. can sign an IAP-66 form for the J-1 visa. Your au pair may be able to get an F-1 (student) visa from a school, if you are willing to let her take classes here (which I think the au pairs who participate in au pair exchange programs have to do); you could talk to a junior college to see if that's a possibility. The other idea is to approach one of the smaller au pair exchange programs to see if they will give you a discount on their fees. I doubt that the big programs such as EF Au Pair will be flexible on this, so that's why I say try the smaller ones. (They may tell you that they have to interview and ''screen'' her anyway, in order to fulfill the visa requirement for the program that they are responsible for her. But you can argue that they don't have to find a placement for her, which I personally know constitutes much of the cost.) There are some advantages to using the program - they offer insurance, for example.


A freind of mine, for years while his boys were young, would have his European friends send their daughters or daughter's friends to be the au pair... The girls/women would enter on a tourist visa for 6 months and then, towards the end of the period, would request an extension for another 6 months. They had to show some proof of financial stability and while my freind couldn't ''pay'' them as tourists, he is allowed to host them. Small distinction, but it worked for many young women who cared for his boys. Cynthia


Finding an Au Pair

2000

I am originally from Austria and am currently looking for an Austrian au-pair to come here for a year to help me with my little son. Does anybody know about organizations who facilitate the whole visa issue for au-pair but also organizations who have guide lines for the hiring of au-pairs, i.e. compensation, free time etc. I would very much appreciate any advice. Susi


I have had several wonderful Austrian au pairs through an agency called, Au Pair Programme USA. Their website is www.childcrest.com. My sister-in-law has also used them with great success. Laurel


Although I have never had an au pair, I did work with youth exchange programs for 10 years, so I rubbed elbows with organizations that had au pair programs (Au Pair Care, EF, AISE). My suggestion would be to go with a U.S. Information Agency (USIA) designated program. These programs screen the au pair for you, provide a J-1 visa, and are required to follow the USIA rules governing them. These programs provide training in child care as well as CPR, provide health insurance, coordinate the travel arrangements, and so on. The USIA also has guidelines which protect the au pair from abuses, such as being put into a situation where they are taking care of too many children, working too many hours, or being provided with a closet for a bedroom. And if it does not work out (and sometimes they don't: bad match, the au pair gets homesick, etc.), the program will work with you to get a new au pair. I'm sure that you can get a listing on programs from the USIA in Washington DC., but you could probably also take a look at Parent's Press--lots of them advertise in there. Call around and see which one seems to be the most responsive.

Another suggestion: one of the things that make these programs work is how much local support there is in the event that there are snags. If you have a local rep who is a flake or who won't be there to answer questions, you may get left in the lurch. A good rep is really the key, as he or she will help match an au pair to your family to help best meet your needs and be there should you need support. I do know of people who have had successful experiences using au pairs without going through a USIA-designated program, but I don't think I would do it. Sarah

 

 

Considering an au pair for next baby

Nov 2004

We are considering the au pair program for our next baby, so if you have feedback/recommendations with any of the programs, or what it is like having a ''live in'' (we had a nanny for our first child), it would be appreciated! michael


We opted for an au pair and have had a mixed experience. After three months we decided that it wasn't working out with our original au pair and now we are waiting for our second to arrive.

The hardest thing about the au pair system in my opinion is that you don't get to meet the person before they come. Also we have found that there is a bit of white lying that happens -- and that the applications you receive should be followed up with a detailed interview with the person (at least two times) and checking their references. Our au pair over represented her skills (she said she could cook and she didn't even know how to reheat something) and I don't think the agencies do a thorough job in checking on all the nuiances of their application.

In short (although I could go at length on this) my advice to you would be:

1) Be really clear what your priorities are (eg. ability to speak English, childcare expereince, personality) when you look through applications.

2) pick somebody who has had the exact experience you need in childcare (for example if they have mostly watched five year olds they might not be so good with a baby). And verify this reference.

3) be really clear how much you want this person involved in your household. Many au pairs come here to ''party'' and you are just a vehicle for them. If you don't want a person to be eating dinner with you, etc. then this is the person for you. If you want somebody to be part of your family then be clear about this from the start.

4) Imagine the worst case scenario and write rules from the beginning to avoid them. Better to say ''no boyfriends spend the