Seeking MFT
Hi Berkeley Parents community!
My wife and I are seeking recommendations for a skilled marriage and family therapist in the Oakland area. We have a wonderful 4-year-old son and are committed to building the healthiest family dynamic possible as he grows.
We come from different cultural backgrounds (Midwestern American and Brazilian immigrant family) and have complementary but sometimes challenging personality styles — I'm an extroverted, big-picture thinker (ENFP) while she's more introverted and detail-oriented (ISTJ). We both navigate life with ADHD, which adds another layer to our communication dynamics.
While we share important parenting values (encouraging independence, healthy boundaries, quality education, limited screen time), we sometimes struggle to connect meaningfully due to our different communication styles and emotional needs. I tend to process life through deep conversation, while my wife is more private and reserved. These differences occasionally lead to unintentional hurt feelings and disconnection.
We're looking for a therapist who can help us:
- Better understand and appreciate our different communication styles
- Build stronger connection while honoring our natural temperaments
- Navigate cultural and neurodivergent differences in our parenting approach
- Cultivate more joy and mutual understanding in our marriage
If you've worked with someone skilled with multicultural couples, personality differences, and/or ADHD-impacted relationships, we'd be incredibly grateful for your recommendations!
Thank you!
Parent Replies
We've been really happy with Revi Airborne-Williams LMFT. A lot of similar issues and she came highly recommended.
revihopeairborne [at] gmail.com (revihopeairborne[at]gmail[dot]com)
(510) 394-2626
Y'all sound like such a thoughtful couple/set of parents!
My partner and I are not a multicultural couple, but we have definitely had to navigate personality differences and an ADHD-impacted relationship (he has ADHD, I do not). We are a big fan of Melissa Orlov's book The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD, and we were having trouble finding someone locally who specializes in ADHD-impacted relationships, so we ended up reaching out for a consultation on her website (https://www.adhdmarriage.com/consulting). She and her team are, unfortunately not local or covered by insurance, but I'm so glad we reached out because the initial consultation was really helpful. Melissa ultimately suggested that we see separate therapists and that if this wasn't working, we could try specific marriage counseling later. My ADHD partner is seeing someone on Melissa's team, and I found someone else who has been an OK fit but nonetheless helpful. This has worked out really well for us, because seeing separate people has meant finding a therapist who better matches our unique personality differences (and different schedules), and then we can come talk through insights outside of official sessions with a little more spaciousness.
If y'all can't afford paying for therapy out of network, I still think that free consultation might still be worth it in order to get a second opinion about what might be the most effective route for you two (especially someone as thoughtful as Melissa who really wants to help ADHD-impacted couples thrive!).
Good luck--wishing the best for you.
Hello! This is such a great intention and I have a good resource :) Center for Family Healing and Therapy in Berkeley. I've worked with these folks personally and professionally and highly recommend. They are very skillful and specialize in family work. I think your checklist is a match for their skills. Good luck!
https://centerforfamilyhealing.com/
Thank you all so so much! These are wonderful resources. I truly appreciate your recommendations and will follow up with all of these people/organizations.
sending our love and gratitude!
Hi, I'm in a similar boat with the multicultural marriage (my husband is Brazilian and our parenting styles come into conflict often). I've been seeing Tess Roholt on my own but plan to do a few couples' sessions with her in the future. She's been helping me a lot with communication styles and finding common anchor points to move forward wtih more joy and understanding on a day-to-day basis. While she doesn't take insurance, she does give me a super bill so I can use my FSA more easily. She offers free consultations (that's how I chose her!) https://www.tesslroholt.com/