ABA therapy - east of Caldecott (Moraga)

Hi! We are six years into the journey. My son has autism. And I actually run support groups for Parents of neurodivergent children. Lets connect! 

Hi,

My daughter was diagnosed last year, at age 11 as well. It is a lot to process, so please take it easy on yourself as well at this time. We decided to do an ABA social skills group through BIA in Oakland (they were in Emeryville but switched locations this year). My daughter has benefited so much from this group and they have provided us with parent training as well. I can't say enough good things about the program, it is very skill-based and they really tailor the goals for each individual child. For us, it is well worth the drive from Martinez twice per week. We have Kaiser and they accepted it. https://www.bia4autism.org/ I don't know of any providers in the Moraga area specifically, but wanted to mention BIA as they have been so instrumental in my daughter's treatment. 

Hi! It's so great that you wanna support your kid and are reaching out for ideas. You'll likely hear this from others: please slow down, take some time, and do some deeper investigating before you rush into anything! (You might think of it as an autism moon;) Feeling frantic and rushing into millions of recommended therapies will probably just add stress for you and your kid. You already know your kid, they are the same kid you already know, you just now have a new lens through which to understand them. 

Fortunately, there are lots of awesome, neurodiversity-affirming resources out there, some of which are from autistic adults who want to share their lived wisdom with parents. I'll list a few I've really liked below, as an allistic (non-autistic) parent of an (also 11-year-old!) autistic++ kid. 

Unfortunately, the medical model of autism is very different, and sounds like what you've been pointed towards. I don't have any experience with ABA, or any behavioral therapies (including social skills groups), because I have never felt there was any need for that for my child. FYI, ABA has become rather controversial... I know that contemporary ABA claims to be very different than older models, which were typically very abusive (i.e. trying to force people to stop stimming). It is now supposed to be much more client-centered and focused on family goals, but some folks (and many autistic adults) dispute that and say to proceed w/caution or simply avoid anything that's focused on "behavior." 

The neurodiversity-affirming way to understand autism is simply as a different neurotype--one that has some pretty great qualities, and also brings with it challenges, since the world at large operates on a neurotypical model. That friction can range from uncomfortable to debilitating. The thing to do is to get a deeper grasp on where the friction is for your particular kid. Do they have other diagnoses that you're thinking about? Where are their greatest support needs? 

The things to be "treated" or cared for, or supported, are the areas that are hard, not autism itself. I would be cautious about any approach that seems to be trying to somehow lessen one's autistic nature rather than figuring out how the autistic kid can be more at ease in the world.

For example, my kid lives with a lot of anxiety, has a need for reliable routines, and has sensory sensitivities. So, we try to work with him on anxiety and figure out together what helps him the most with that. We also try to never take him by surprise with plans; we plant seeds ahead, we involve him in how to make a situation more manageable, he knows he can retreat and find a cozy spot to decompress, and we simply avoid certain things that would be too much. If we're at home in the evening and he feels fatigued or like there are too many demands, he might stop speaking for a while; no biggie, we use a whiteboard or paper and pencil to exchange notes! Once he feels chilled out, he returns to speaking. He is becoming SO self-aware through all this, the idea being that he is learning to modulate and take great care of himself, and will one day do that on his own.

Meantime, a couple resources...

Tilt Parenting, community and podcast. Search podcast for topics, lots of good recent ones about autism: https://tiltparenting.com/

The Neurodiversity Podcast: https://neurodiversitypodcast.com/

The Autistic Culture podcast, playful deep dives: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-autistic-culture-podcast/id1653171456 

Facebook Group, highly recommend searching previous posts for topics of concern: "Ask Autistic Adults, A Resource for Parents of Autistics": https://www.facebook.com/groups/askautisticadults/

Neurowild, a speech language pathologist who is an illustrator and autistic ADHDer: https://www.instagram.com/neurowild_/

Neurotribes book by Steve Silberman

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price (haven't read this one yet but heard good things, it's brand new)

Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant 

I Will Die on This Hill by Ashburn/Edwards (this one is intense and more political, but also has some solid pointers on the autism moon concept, lots of personal stories, and just frames the whole conversation so differently, could be helpful)

AUTISTIC GIRLS: look for neurodiversity-affirming books and podcasts specifically about this population! (I'm not well versed but I know the neurotype tends to show up differently due to socialization differences)

Take care and feel free to reach out if you want to chat :)

How helpful for your child that you've received a diagnosis and can use it to inform your decisions as their parents. Of course it's a lot, and hopefully you can remember your child remains the same person they have been all their life -- but what has changed is that you now have a tool to help get them the supports they need. Easier said than done, of course. It is genuinely a full time job -- and it is exhausting. Have you begun the process of requesting an individualized education plan (IEP) from your school district? This will help you connect to services through their school and other public entitlements. It is important to remember that your child is entitled to accessible education. 

My expertise is as a parent of an 11 year old non-binary (but female presenting) child, as well as my graduate training in both public health and medical anthropology -- I know a lot about health institutions, structural inequities, and health advocacy. 

I'd encourage you to look at the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) to begin with -- it's an organization that focuses on autistic people's self-advocacy, which is important for all people to know how to do regardless of their neurodivergence. Your child is not old enough to self-advocate, though they can start to develop those skills. You are their advocate and that's a lot to bear.  ASAN and other autistic-run organizations do not recommend ABA for reasons that seem quite uncontroversial -- it takes the perspective of fixing or re-training your child. ABA does not acknowledge or make space for the very harmful practices and forms of pathologizing that institutions and individuals inflict on autistic people. 

Here are some resources that have helped me -- even though the work and the fights are still huge, it is really good to have one's kid's interests validated across many different experts, and sadly ABA and schools are not actually those experts:

Eliza Fricker's work is amazing -- both her books and her podcast

Uniquely Human podcast

Autistic Girls Network (based in UK) 

I have really valued Whole Child Support services, they have psychotherapy as well as well-vetted specialists -- many don't take insurance but can provide superbills for reimbursement (more work, yes, but this is a big problem we face in the US without nationalized health care, a problem bigger than any of us!). They do use diagnostic codes for ABA because that is how insurance reimburses for autism support services, but they are not advocates of the ABA method to fix your kid...whatever 'fix' means. 

DREDF has templates for submitting your request for an IEP assessment through the school district (I linked to their site on K-12 education, as I have had trouble navigating all their wealth of resources, in the past)

Feel free to email me directly with questions.