9-year old scared to put face in water, who can help?
Does anyone know of a swim instructor for kids who is good at helping kids get over their fear of water? I feel like our situation is a little different than the norm because our kid is 9 years old - older than a lot of kids dealing with this challenge. I have been wanting my son to learn how to swim, but I think we missed some critical years (ages 4-7) for him to get used to putting his face in the water. (Generally due to pandemic concerns keeping us away from swimming lessons.) I finally signed him up for swim lessons at Roberts Regional park pool last summer, but despite the encouragement and nudging from a kind and gentle young woman who was his swim instructor, he just flat out refused to put his face in the water for 2 straight weeks. I've tried playing games with him at pools (e.g. copy me, try to fish the object out of the pool, etc.) and tried encouraging "baby steps" in the shower or bath at home. He's not falling for it! My son enjoys playing in the water, and there's a whole world of fun waiting for him when he can get over this hurdle. I'd love to get some professional help if anyone has any good leads! Thanks!
Parent Replies
Hi EastBay_Mama,
We put our son in swim lessons at Albany Aquatic Center. He loved it! He is younger than your son, but the instructor, Jeff, loves kids and clearly loves teaching swimming. He has a very approachable style and might be a good resource to help you problem solve.
Another thought: If your son can safely swim enough to keep himself afloat and get to the side of the pool if he fell in, maybe that's enough for now? As he gets older, he might naturally become more comfortable putting his face in the water. Most kids don't learn perfect swim strokes until they are a little older anyway.
Whatever you decide, good luck!
I don't have a cost effective solution but I'm sharing what worked for us. Our child was afraid of water and did not want to learn to swim. We tried what you have tried (trying to teach them ourselves, enrolling them in lessons.)
Private lessons were the only way the kid could get the attention and patience they needed. We stopped trying to force the kid to learn to swim but tried to do fun/rec swimming. In the summer, we went to pools and rented pools through Swimply and just played in water. We tried to make every vacation to include a pool. For 2 years or so, we focused more on making pool time fun. We then hired a swim instructor through Nextdoor who could offer private lessons / play time. We then rented pools at Swimply to mix lesson and fun. We did that for a handful of sessions and then moved on to a more structured private swim lesson at a school. I'll say the child does not like swimming but now has life saving skills to be able to float on the back and paddle / tread for a short distance to safety for most swimming pool situations. Child is still not a confident swimmer but did finally learn to swim at the age of 11. (I did not learn to swim until I was in my 20s!)
Group lessons never worked for my kid.
Here are some leads for private swim lessons.
-- Woody's Private Swim Instruction
-- Patti's Swim School
-- Sunsational Swim School
-- Ohana Aquatics
I had the same situation. It was due to an irrational fear of drowning and that I would lose control and no one would help me. We tried everything. Finally, when I was about 10, my parents gave up and said, do whatever you want. I decided to just do it because my friends were having fun and if I wasn't successful, at least I tried. I swam the length of the pool and since then have done everything in the water I can think of except for scuba diving. I jumped into the ocean and in deep waters. TL;DR - i think it's worth identifying what his exact fear is. There is a clear fear he has which is preventing him from doing it. Once the fear is crossed, he'll enjoy himself. Are there things that he does that other kids are scared of - like playing with dogs? It's possible you can use that as an example to ask him why he's scared of swimming.
We love British Swim School. They are really good at working with resistant kids, especially Maria in El Cerrito. They also offer private lessons if you want a focused experience. Their typical classes have 2-4 kids so are also quite small.
My son was much younger. But also scared of it. It took almost a year and now he a switch has flipped and he will dunk himself on his own and just flat out started swimming one day. Its important that he has a consistent instructor and their job is to build the trust to help push him to that goal. I would stay out of it if I were you but just offer a lot of patience. Its worth watching the documentary on PBS (free) called Swim Lesson. A quick 17 minutes that I think brings up a lot of the issues that surround this process. If you want to inbox me, the instructor was was loving but firm with him has left their swim school and is now doing private lessons. I would be happy to send the referral. 2 weeks is definitely not enough time, so be patient.