Treatment for Cannabis Addiction

• Therapist for college son on downward spiral, using marijuana heavily
• Husband wants support to reduce reliance on pot
• Kaiser teen drug program for heavy pot smoker?
• 16 year old's heavy marijuana use
• High Functioning 18yr old w/ Pot Addiction
• Family therapist for 17-year-old's heavy marijuana use
• 17-year-old, addicted to pot, is hearing voices
• Teen support group for marijuana abuse?

Therapist for college son on downward spiral, using marijuana heavily

May 2014

I'm looking for a therapist for my son to help him deal with the downward spiral his life has taken with his marijuana problem. He has been taking medication for ADHD for several years and had happy and uneventful youth. He went away to a university with a lot of enthusiasm and goals and did well both academically and socially for the first two years.

The suicide of a close relative a couple of years ago sent him into a tailspin, however, and he began using marijuana heavily. The past two years have been a nightmare and have sent both his emotional stability and his academic performance down the drain.

He will be taking a leave from his university (thankfully, he is still in good academic standing) and returning home soon, as my spouse and I are really worried about him and refuse to continue to financially support his increasingly self-destructive lifestyle.

We would like our son to go to therapy with someone who has experience with substance abuse in young adults and helping them find their way back to a healthy lifestyle.

Ideally, the therapist would also have experience with ADHD/executive functioning problems, including management of time and money.. I think he would relate better to a male, particularly if it were a person of color, and someone who practices near Berkeley would be ideal, Someone who accepts Blue Shield Insurance would be great, but none of these are deal breakers, as long as the therapist is good at working with young adults and substance abuse.

He is not in a crisis situation and is still experiencing success in some areas of his life, but I want him to get help before he continues down this path of self-destruction.

A big part of his problem right now is that he feels like a failure for leaving college. It would be helpful if the therapist could help him explore alternatives to a Bachelor's degree, as I am not convinced it is the right path for him.

Any therapist recommendations would be much appreciated. Two names that have been recommended elsewhere on BPN are John Edwards LCSW and Frank Davis, PhD. Does anyone have any experience with either of these two therapists?

Realistically, I realize that my son may refuse to go to therapy, so I'm also looking for a therapist for myself (I would prefer a female), to help me deal with anxiety and learn how to support him emotionally without continuing to enable his destructive habits.

I would be very grateful for any recommendations. worried mom

I recommend David Celniker http://www.davidcelniker.com/, not a person of color but somebody with a strong focus on working with young adults with substance abuse issues. Right by Rockridge Bart. Maybe ask your son to go once and decide if he wants to continue- that really worked for my youngest. Depending on how deep they're into their substance abuse, while they're still using it might be limited what they get out of therapy. Might be worth asking David his opinion. My oldest son is gaining a lot from him.

For you I strongly recommend Alanon. There's lots of meetings all over, each a little different. In terms of meetings focused on parents of substance abusers, there is an Albany Saturday afternoon meeting, one Wednesday night in Oakland, and a large one in Mill Valley Saturday mornings with a lot of recovery. celia

Hi worried mom, I totally empathize and have a couple of suggestions for you. I am a therapist who helps parents with troubled teens and young adults. I am a dedicated director at Willows in the Wind. I agree with you that this is not a crisis yet, however, your son does need help. I would recommend David Franklin therapist for your son in Lafayette California. David can be reached at 925 935-4000. Cindy

I really like Dr Davis... I guess it is more important that my kid likes going there every week. My guess is that your problem is pretty common but it has been a struggle for us- we share the same situation... We can talk further but without Dr Davis in our life I don't know how could we handle the situation... anon

Augie Feder is a wonderful, caring, compassionate, present therapist with an office on Dwight at the corner of Milvia. He worked at Berkeley High for two years and has lots of experience working with youth who are struggling with addiction, depression/anxiety and/or ADHD. He can be reached at 510-984-2499. Good luck in finding some support for your son and yourself! Anon

I highly recommend Frank Davis as a therapist for your son. My son is adopted and experienced prenatal drug exposure and has had significant emotional challenges that are common with that history. Frank Davis has been very helpful in helping my son develop greater self esteem and healthier ways of responding to his anger and frustration.

As our son is about to become a teenager, Frank began talking with us about his approach to working with adolescents about drug and alcohol use and I am glad to have his thoughtful and experienced support in this area of potential risk. He has a warm, empathetic connection with children and parents and is a pleasure to work with, while also being skillful at persistently raising and pursuing challenging issues.

He also can provide referrals to excellent therapists to support parents of his clients. My husband and I have found it extremely valuable to have periodic meetings with Frank Davis and weekly meetings with our own therapist who provides parenting support and guidance, knowing that both therapists collaborate together as needed to provide a consistent approach and support to our family. Appreciative mother

Husband wants support to reduce reliance on pot

April 2013

My husband has used pot for many years. He used to feel like he had more 'control' over it - only using occasionally to relax. I was always OK with his pot-smoking, but didn't like him to be high around me, and he used to be really respectful of that.

In last few years, with 2 young kids, his use of pot has increased significantly and he (and I) are starting to feel like he needs help to control or stop his addiction. He is getting high more regularly - more than once/week. He hasn't been able to comply with my one request around it, which is to communicate with me if he is coming home 'high' so that I am not unknowingly interacting with him while high. It's important for me to know his 'state.' And recently he was planning on driving the kids somewhere while high - that didn't happen, but the fact that he was planning on it scares both of us.

He is not sure if he wants to or can stop completely. I get this. I'm not sure I know a single person who doesn't have some 'addiction' or 'escape' of some sort. (Mine is related to food and I keep relating this to his issue and how hard it is to have control over this. I'm not doing anything about my food addiction at this point - it puts me in a very empathetic place about him making changes around his 'escape'. God knows we both feel stressed out & alone far more often than we'd like.) However, he needs a starting place to talk to someone on the road to making some changes. Thankfully our relationship remains very strong and supportive. He does want my help in finding some information as a first step.

I'm not sure if NA is appropriate, would it be a place where he can deal with underlying issues, anxieties, fears if he did decide to quit completely? What about if he wants to see if he can find a way to deal with those issues, and still use pot occasionally? Has anyone accomplished regaining 'control' over using pot occasionally (or another substance, for that matter)?

He's worried about going through Kaiser or medical system, partly embarrassed and mostly worried about anything pot-related going on his medical record.

If not NA, where can he get support? Possibly therapy, but cost of long-term therapy is prohibitive (we're generally in a monthly deficit at this point in our lives - expecting that will change in the next year or two). Perhaps meeting with someone just a few times to get a sense of what he wants to do next and how to start. Could this be helpful? If so, with who? Recommendations appreciated.

(By the way, if anyone has similar suggestions as to how to reduce, but not eliminate, sugar/sweets as an addiction, I'd be curious to hear thoughts on that. Not sure I'm ready to tackle that, but open to suggestions.) Wondering Where to Start

For your husband, NA (Narcotics Anonymous) or AA (Alcoholics Anonymous-often to all different types of users). For you, Al Anon (for family and friends of alcoholics/drug users); or OA (Overeaters Anonymous) or Weight Watchers. Try some or all, they work!! Also Addicted

There is a 12-step program, Marijuana Anonymous, that your husband would qualify for IF he wants to stop using entirely. These programs are geared to stopping addiction, one day at a time, not controlling it. Same thing with Kaiser's drug and alcohol program. He will not find support in these places for continuing to use, even if less than he is now.

I use marijuana to relax and help me get to sleep, so I understand its appeal. At a point earlier in my life, when my use was out of control, I went to MA, and stopped using for several years, which was what I needed to do. Now I'm okay with my use, but if I felt I needed to, I would go back to MA- it's a great program.

Your husband would probably do best in terms of support for examining his use patterns with a therapist, although not all therapists would support his using at all. anon

Marijuana Anonymous meetings are an option if NA doesn't appeal. Either way, working the 12 steps with a sponsor is basically a thorough, structured way of dealing with the ''underlying issues, anxieties, fears'' as you aptly put it, that lead us to addiction.

Another source of support can be found online at http://www.reddit.com/r/leaves. Good luck to you both!

All the questions you pose about NA for your husband - or indeed any 12-step program - can be investigated by attending at least a couple of meetings appropriate to the user's substance or acting out behavior. Some meetings have members with stronger track records of sane and sober living than others, so go to several. One of the ways that a new way of living is achieved is by recogninzing one's powerlessness, seeking help, following suggested guidelines with an open mind for at least a couple of months - they woudln't be part of the program if they had not been proven to work for thousands of people. People reach out to help the newcomer or members suffering in relapse as part of their own recovery. Having said that. It is your husband's job to take that first step into a meeting when he hits that point of being sick and tired of where he is at. You cannot do it for him.

You can take care of yourself, however, whatever choice he makes. I would encourage you to look into food recovery as well. The strongest program I know of is Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous. You can find meeting schedules for all 12 step programs online. And these programs are free. Just get to a meeting and listen. Therapy might be a good idea too - at least in the early days - with a therapist familiar with addiction and recovery because a lot of painful unconsious stuff can come up when the substance of choice is put down. It is never to late to begin o know yourself in a healthy new way. Addiction in any form is a progressive disease, so the option of occasionally using our drug gets lost at some point in the downward spiral. 12-stepper in recovery

Kaiser teen drug program for heavy pot smoker?

March 2013

My son has been smoking way too much pot (what is not too much?) and I am trying to learn more about options. It has effected his grades, honesty, motivation, etc. Anyone have a child who did there teen drug group and parent component (if there is a parent component). Did it help? Ongoing support? Thanks. needs help

Kaiser has a few teen chemical dependency programs in the Bay Area. Kaiser will tell you you have to go to the Oakland program if you live in Alameda county. This is not true. I take my child over the hill to Walnut Creek. I really like Claudia Wathen who runs the Walnut Creek clinic. You may have a better experience in Oakland then we did, but it did not work for out for us. Most of the kids show up because they have to at first. Some of them are on probation, got in trouble at school or had a hospitalization for drug or mental health issues. The question is does he think he has a problem? Will he willingly go to a group? Most of the kids like the groups when they connect to the other teens. The whole family is involved. Yes there are parent support groups, and groups for parents and teens together. Its a twelve week program. The whole family commits to having a sober household. The teens are drug tested a few times a week. You go to groups three or four times a week. Its not clear from your post what your son needs at this time. I would give the directors of the different programs a call. Ask lots of questions! A grate place to start is to see if he would just be open to individual therapy just to see whats going on. I had to be a fearless, strong mother, but now my daughter is a happy, healthy sober teen. So grateful for Kaiser! Be fearless ,chose life!

16 year old's heavy marijuana use

Feb 2013

I've reviewed previous posts on this subject but still find myself without answers. My 16 yo son has progressively become a heavy (daily?) pot smoker and occasional drinker. He smokes alone and with his friends, at home and in parks, etc. He's a bright boy but his grades are in the toilet and he needs help. Grounding and countless conversations have gotten us nowhere. I believe that pot has become a social connection for him as he has had problems finding real friends and smoking pot allows him to have something in common with other kids. I'd appreciate hearing from anyone with experience in getting their kid to stop or at least decrease the frequency and what they did. One therapist whom we spoke to suggested an away rehab in the country (my son enjoys outdoors) and dissuaded us against Thunder Road (we live in Oakland) However my son has said previously that he would run away if he were sent away. If anyone has experience with Thunder Road or East Bay facilities and therapists or any other advice please let me know. Desperate and need help

I feel for you. My son is nearly 18 so time is ticking for us. We had him meet with Jason Lechner in Walnut Creek last year...but at the time, our son was in denial about how marijuana was affecting him, made some changes, etc. and we stopped seeing the counselor. Jason and his partner David Heckinlively are a good place to start if you are looking for counseling. However I am recommending something else now: New Leaf Treatment Center in Lafayette. If I could do it again, I'd have made him attend this youth program a year ago. You could put some serious consequences (drug testing, whatever) on him and counseling....then maybe just get him to meet with the doctor there or the counselor, Jeff Kent, to get a foot in the door. We just did that, our son met Jeff and it went very well. For us, since our son is about out of the house and we just want him to consider that he may be prone to addiction and gain some insight, we are letting him meet with Mr. Kent and come to some of his own conclusions but at 16, I may insist on this program. (Or the Kaiser Substance Abuse program- we went to the orientation and it looked good, but we are not Kaiser members so it was not an option for us.) Take care, I wish the best for you. Mom with similar issue

I am curious as to why your son's therapist didn't recommend Thunder Road. My son was there 4 years ago for addiction (alcohol + ???) and although it was very demanding of the parents' time, it was great for him. He was the only male there who wasn't under a court order to attend and was only there a month (the minimum) but he's kept clean and sober since he's been out. He refused to go until he decided for himself that he was ready to be clean. Coincidentally, his main counselor had been a marijuana addict. Thunder Road fan

You are going through a very difficult time. I encourage you to attend the next Willows in the Wind meeting. It is listed under announcements in this bulletin. There you will meet many parents who have had experiences similar to yours. Most decided to send their teens to a wilderness program, inpatient substance abuse program, and/or a therapeutic boarding school. We have walked in your shoes. Hopefully you saw our announcement last week and attended the Oakland meeting. If not, please either phone, email or attend the next meeting. Please visit our website willowsinthewind.com. Robin

High Functioning 18yr old w/ Pot Addiction

July 2012

My son is addicted to marijana. He is a very motivated, compassionate and high functioning kid who has come to realize that he needs to get stoned almost every day. This is not just a social thing, and he would like to have greater control of it but feels he can't stop. He realizes that his short term memory has been impacted, and that he feels better without the THC in his system constantly. Although the summer is now almost over and he'll return to school soon, he would like help in handling this and is willing to do whatever is necessary next summer when he is home. He is a hard worker, gets A's and high B's at a demanding east coast college, and has worked 7:30-5:30 as a camp counselor all summer, so he is no slackard. But he does want help. Any advice??? Worried Mom

Since your son wants to change his behavior, try the intensive outpatient program at Thunder Road in Oakland (part of Alta Bates/Summit). My teen was part of that program, but wasn't motivated and did not succeed, but it was clear that the kids who wanted to get clean and stay that way did. Parent participation is required as well, and as a parent I found that support invaluable. I just wish my teen had been ready.

Wow! I am so impressed with your son's awareness and wanting to get help. As a adolescent psychologist I can tell you that this is the most important predictor of a positive outcome. If you are a Kaiser member you would have access to great teen chemical dependency programs. I am not familiar with other insurance coverage. I am wondering if your son is anxious or depressed since regular pot use is usually a way to self medicate. Perhaps therapy and medication would help your son. Don't forget to be encouraged by your son's motivation to get better, to make changes. Impressed

I wanted to tell you about New Bridge Foundation in Berkeley. They have a treatment program for 18 year olds and up. They have a very large young adult program that is quite successful. They have different levels of care from residential to intensive outpatient. I noticed that someone mentioned Thunder Road. While it is a good place too, he will most likely be the oldest one there as they cater to 13 year olds and up. I guess it depends upon what you think may work best for him, being the oldest or on the younger side. You can call both and check them out. New Bridge Foundation's number is (510) 548-7270. The settings are also different.

Good luck. This is a great start. I don't know if anyone mentioned it but Alanon is great and they have alanon for parents which is even better!! p.s. While I work in the field, I too had a family member who was almost 19 that I sent to New Bridge. KNowing what to look for in a program ( because I work with several), I had my nephew fly in from out of state to go to their residential program and then live with me when stepping down to the intensive outpatient program. Hang in there. been there

In response to last week's comment about Thunder Road's outpatient program being for younger teens: when my teen participated (second half of 2011), there were at least two 18-year olds in the group, and the youngest teen was 15. As with any other group, the demographics are unpredictable and subject to change at any time there's space for a new participant. In my teen's group, for example, there was only one girl the entire 5 months, but no one could conclude that Thunder Road's groups are mostly for boys. I don't want the original poster to be persuaded away from Thunder Road as an option for her 18-year old, particularly since he is motivated to change. Anonymous

Family therapist for 17-year-old's heavy marijuana use

July 2010

My 17 year old son is becoming a heavy marijuana user. We have worked on this with him (private therapy, expressing disappointment, etc.) since he was 14. Before, he would NEVER bring it into the house, now he seems to smoke it all the time, the minute I leave. At this point, I am at my wits end. I am looking for a therapist who can work with our family. One to maybe help him and two, to help me move on. I really want him out of our house the minute he turns 18. He was on a path to go to college (not now, doesn't care) and then considered the military (but he has a drug bust in school and shows no sign of stopping marijuana use, so I'm guessing that's out). Anyone know a good therapist in San Ramon, Pleasanton, Danville area? I could really use some help here. shelly

Timmen Cermak, MD 239 Miller Avenue, Mill Valley, CA 94941-2841 Near intersection with Park Avenue (415) 381-4009 (Addiction Psychiatry) Specialist: Psychiatrist (Addiction Psychiatrist) 
He specializes in teens w/drug abuse. We found him to be excellent & soooooo diff from other children's shrinks. We were also dealing w/a child with a chronic illness that was affecting both body & mind-using drugs to ''mask'' his symptoms. However in Mill Valley not EBay. May have other offices or can refer. Elizabeth

Dear Shelly, I am very sorry about your son. My 21 year old daughter sees Gail Alter in Orinda (510) 433-2972. Gail really understands addiction. She also has helped my husband and I deal with our daughter's addiction. In addition, we've started attending Al-anon - there are meetings for Parents with Alcoholic Children- our meeting is in Walnut Creek on Monday nights at the Covenant Church. If you have Kaiser - it has an excellent Chemical Dependency Program and my daughter is in an early recovery group every day there. You are smart to take action now. ANON

We are dealing with similar issues, and I know lots of other parents who are, too. I have talked with the therapists at Coyote Coast, and really liked them. (http://www.coyotecoast.org) Many people benefit from Al-Anon. Also, he is not in your area, but we really benefited from talking with Dr. Josh Coleman, who wrote ''When Parents Hurt,'' a wonderfully sympathetic book about how parents feel when dealing with difficult issues with their kids. (http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/) Another parent

Dr. Karen Kaufman ( on the Alameda in Berkeley) is highly recommended by people we know and by our family. She works extremely well with teens and young adults. Karen makes her self available for your schedule. She is a savvy woman who asks the right questions and gets results with her patients. Karen lends tremendous support to the entire family through challenging times. Virginia

Hi Shelly, Don Elium is a therapist in Walnut Creek who is insightful, instructive, knowledgeable, sensitive and skillful in working with the whole family. He makes sure that everyone is heard in a respectful way. That said, I want to offer another suggestion. It seems that both you ad your son could benefit from a change of scene. Your son needs to be away from old relationships that maintain the status quo and in a new community where there are high expectations. He needs to be given a chance to detox his brain, to evaluate his values and decisions. I suggest finding a college prep boarding school that is not a drug rehab, therapeutic or lockdown, but that will make every effort to get him back on track. And pardon me here for sounding like a commercial, but Hyde (hyde.edu) School is a place that works with on track and off track students and includes the family in the process. There are many of us here in the Bay Area who are benefitting from Hyde-- in monthly meetings in the form of ''moving on'' and discovering our own unique potential while our students do their work at Hyde. If you're interested, contact the school and they will connect you with current families and provide you with detailed info about the school. Please contact the moderator for my email if you'd like to talk. walked a mile in your shoes

I am an MFT in Orinda and have worked with teens (and all other ages) with substance abuse problems. If your son is 17 and has been having a problem since 14, he is need of more intensive treatment than therapy, and your best bet would be to have him assessed at a treatment facility. I have often worked with Thunder Road in Oakland and would recommend them as a place to start. Don't be misled that pot use alone is not harmful or addictive. It is an amotivational drug and will seriously impair your son's abilities in many ways. Also, getting him into treatment before he is 18 gives you some leverage that you won't have after he turns of age. Best of luck. April

17-year-old, addicted to pot, is hearing voices

Dec 2007

does anyone know about ''hearing voices?'' i have a 17 yr old who is about to be evaluated. he is addicted to pot, i believe is ''self medicating'' with. i have heard pot causes psychosis in some people. he is an inteligent kid, who went downhill fairly quickly. he laughs when there seems to be nothing funny, he seems to be more in his own world. has trouble sleeping at night, sleeps all day. could not get him up to go to school. almost totally unmotivated to do anything. thanks for any insight. anon

i am so sorry; this must be very frightening. you mentioned that your son is about to be evaluated, but not whether the evaluation is focused on substances or on mental health issues. the two very often overlap, and you probably need to be looking at both fronts together.

hearing voices is a sign of psychosis. i worry that there is something going on that is more than a bad reaction to pot. one possibility is that he is using more than weed; kids who are high can be way out there. (and there is a scary range of possible substances; all manner of street drugs, and even abuse of over the counter cold medications.) another possibility is mental illness -- some of the major mental illnesses tend to kick in between the late teens and early 20's.

this will be hard to sort out unless he is clean. you may want to consider talking with an educational consultant, such as bodin associates. they can help evaluate drug and mental health issues, as well as educational problems and programs to address all these spheres. and, help the family recover -- for kids under 18, the programs work hard to involve the family in the healing process. after 18, the kids are legal adults and it is MUCH harder to find solutions.

my son didn't hear voices, but he had huge behavioral and academic problems, and suddenly went from being the intelligent, sweet, shy boy we knew to acting like a monster. after family therapy and a new school didn't work, we tried thunder mountain, a teen rehab [substance] program in oakland. after he failed the rehab aftercare program rather spectacularly, we used bodin associates to find therapeutic programs for our son. i am convinced that the steps we took saved his life; it was that bad.

i strongly encourage you to act now. it all changes after they are 18; you no longer have the same options. [although, kids who get into a program before 18 have a better chance of continuing after. it is just that you can't make it happen any more once they are adults.]

take care. more kids end up with these hugely challenging problems than you would think. take care. another mom

The dark side of MJ use. Some of you may remember that pot is a mild hallucinogen, and some kids are more susceptible to this affect than others. He's probably high a lot more than you think. It's good he's being evaluated. I had this happen to me once, and I never smoked it again. He might also need a residential drug/psychological treatment center to get away from his source, and his lifestyle. Take care of him now, before he turns 18, because then you have no legal control anymore. -we all inhaled

I feel for all of you. I hope the evaluation comes to solid conclusions and you will get him the help that he obviously needs.

My daughter used to hear voices when she was much littler, she has grown out of it, but she went through a lot of therapy. We talked about them being her own inner voice, and even though they were saying scary things to her sometimes, I found that they were mostly telling the truth and she needed to learn to trust her inner voice. Sounds like your son might be going through something different and with the pot mixed in there, sounds complicated. Maybe he needs rehab of some sort. Get it started before he's 18 because after that he's on his own and you don't have control over what he does or doesn't do legally. I have a friend whose son was also addicted to pot, she sent him to a school in Montana and it really straightened him up. He was also diagnosed with dyslexia which made school that much harder to deal with. He's doing well now as a young adult. He's a ski instructor in Vermont, has a nice girlfriend, and is happy now. There is light at the end of the tunnel, just might be a little while til you feel like it's NOT the light of an oncoming train! good luck!

I don't know if this applies to your situation, but our child went through a similar period a couple of years ago. Our child was 10, no drugs, but began hearing voices, weeping hysterically from time to time, was afraid to be alone even for a minute and developed compulsions. We had the child evaluated by a psychiatrist who wanted to use drugs and ultimately ended up with a psychologist who helped us a great deal mostly with talking and behavioral therapy. We ultimately came to believe that our child's symptoms were most likely the sequalae of a viral illness. It is very scary. Best of luck to you. Anonymous

Dear Anon, Hearing voices.

(1) Get an appointment at your health care provider's mental health clinic. Note, if you have Kaiser, absolutely go straight to their mental health unit and avoid their scheduled evaluations at the teen clinics. (They are a scheduling disaster.)

(2) Look for signs of abuse of other drugs. Highly recommend searching through room, through car, through all personal possessions. Check small containers without labels. Collect anything that looks like a medication, with or without labels. (Pay special notice to Robitussin, either in gel cap form or as a liquid. It looks innocuous, but this is a highly abused drug that kids can buy over the counter. www.dxmstories.com)

(3) Who is your son hanging out with? All schools have their toxic teens. If you have a gut feeling about a kid, trust that feeling and do not believe your kids stories about them being OK. Start the process of intervening between your son and that kid. Also, talk to that kid's parents directly about any concerns. Ask them if their son/daughter smokes pot. Ask them if they, the parents, are providing it through a medical marijuana prescription.

(4) Do not do this on your own. Get help at the institution in your life that you really trust. That may be, or not be your son's school. Health care provider may be good. Church might be iffy, if it holds extreme tenets. You can call Alcoholics Anonymous, and they know groups that can handle the issue if its drugs for teens. (They are also good at picking up the phone right away 24 hours a day.)

(5) Has the following happened to you, while you were with your son? You are at home, or some other quiet place, and doing ordinary activities. Your son turns to you and asks, ''Mom(/dad), did you hear that?'' Just out of no where, for no reason. Keep that or a related example in mind, when talking to a therapist.

(6) I could repeat a bunch of questions here that an evaluator would ask, but that's their job. Just be observant and prepared to provide information.

(7) If and when it comes to medication, make sure you go over the reason for the specific prescription with the psychiatrist in careful detail. Read authoritative sources on it, and discount crazy Internet stories and web site.

That's it from me. Hopefully others can chime in. You have your work cut out for you. Good luck, Experienced_Dad

I just wanted to drop a quick note to confirm to you that the signs you're describing could all be indicative of chronic marijuana use. It may also be that the ''hearing voices'' is connected to that as well, but your child definitely needs to be seen by a professional for an evaluation. The signs you mentioned could also be related to other problems, co-occuring with the drug use. I would recommend a visit to the M.D. and a follow-up with a psychologist (Ph.D. or Psy.D.), marriage and family therapist (MFT) or social worker (LCSW). I hope you'll do this as quickly as possible. Michael Simon

Dear Anon, You wrote about my story with my now 21 year old son two years ago. After attending one year at a CSU school, he came home after becoming engrossed in smoking a LOT of medical marijuana which was very easy to get on campus. He spent 6 months de-toxifying which also included many periods of psychosis (including an evening at psychiatric hospital after a bad episode). This included \x93hearing voices\x94 and laughing at seemingly nothing. When asked what he was laughing about he would say something stupid and not satisfying. He also did not sleep well and spent hours and hours alone in his room. I took him to see a psychologist and two psychiatrists all of whom thought he may be schizophrenic. After six months of this I finally convinced him to undergo testing with a neuro-psychologist who indicated that he was neither depressed nor psychotic. He did indicate though that there was some significant decrease in his executive functioning capabilities. His advice to me was that there was no medical solution (also, many kids this age won't take medication anyway on a regular basis). He would have to spend the next few years hoping to regain normal brain functioning. Sure enough, and slowly over the last two years, all of his psychoses dissipated. The laughing at nothing lasted the longest (over a year). He is now doing very well. Not back at school, but working in a good job full-time and successfully living on his own and reconnecting with close friends.

My advice to you is to first of all do whatever you can to get him off the marijuana. I do not believe the symptoms will ease or go away until he is clean and able to get it out of his system. The longer he smokes the worse the effects and the longer it will take him to recover. Also, you said he was being evaluated which is a great idea but make sure the person evaluating him does a lot of testing to be sure he isn\x92t either depressed or suffer from an organic psychosis. Chances are it is related to the marijuana. If you have any questions, want just to talk about what you are going through, or desire a reference from the medical persons we used, feel free to email me. Good luck. It is a devastating thing to go through as a parent and watch your son suffer like this. I understand completely. psl

such a lot of great responses! i want to echo a couple of points, as you seek the best way to help your child.

yes, definitely contact other parents in your kid's group, compare notes, try to intervene to the extent you can. i did not have all that much luck with cutting contact with problem kids [they will keep seeing them, perhaps with more vigor if you object]; but it was really helpful to be comparing notes with those parents willing to talk and collaborate. after my son went to a therapeutic program, several other kids in his group also went to programs; a few others ended up in juvie or involuntary programs, and the others got their acts together.

also, someone mentioned searching his room, and i highly recommend that, even if it is hard to preach privacy while not respecting it. he is a minor, and you have cause to be concerned, and you are responsible for his health. BE THOROUGH.

during the month or 2 that my son was in his rehab aftercare program, headed toward the big flunk, we found [among other things]:

* fermenting bottles, under his platform bed, of what could loosely be called wine;

* most of the makings of a methamphetamine lab [''a friend wanted to try it''];

* a lot of CCC [otc cold pills containing dxm, frequently shoplifted];

* other random pills;

* pipes for smoking drugs, roach clips;

* a bunch of rotting mushrooms collected from a nearby hill [''i once tried mushrooms, but i guess these aren't the same kind''];

* used packets of an emergency asthma med meant for use with a nebulizer [and not used with the nebulizer, since he cut up the tubing for his intended meth lab];

* and that's not all. he stole vicodan. there was stuff to cook pills into something that could be inhaled or swallowed. razor blades to chop pills. ack, it is hard to remember.

knowing is better than not knowing. we knew our son was messed up, but didn't know in our hearts how bad it was until we started really searching. best to you. another mom

To the parent that discussed their child going to a re-hab place in Oakland for teens, it's called Thunder Road, not Thunder Mountain. Just to let those of you who might be interested know the proper name. I worked there for a number of years, and it's great for some kids, and not so great for others. But definitely if your child is having serious drug/alcohol (which IS a drug) problems call them for an evaluation. anon

To the person whose son is ''hearing voices.'' I know this is very scary for you. It sounds like you are being brave in facing the problem and getting help. That's so important. Many kids deteriorate like this when they go away to college and in a way you are lucky that this is happening while he is still at home and you know about it and can get him the help he needs.

I'm glad you are having him evaluated. I don't know what type of professional is evaluating him, but it may take several opinions to get a clear picture of what is going on. Don't give up and make sure you are working with someone who you can trust and communicate with. Some psychiatrists out there won't tell the parents anything if they are seeing a 17 year old kid. Find one who will work with you as well as with your son. Definitely when he turns 18 things become more difficult legally so it's good you are getting on this now.

If he does have a mental illness, early treatment can make a huge difference in outcome. It's been shown that the brain is damaged by psychosis, but if medication is prescribed and taken early to control the psychosis the damage is much less.

Support group for parents of kids with mental illness: NAMI, 3rd Tuesday of the month 7 - 9PM Church on the NW corner of Marin and Stannage, Albany totally confidential, great group with facilitators

Best of luck! anon, too

Teen support group for marijuana abuse?

May 2006

My son is 17, an excellent student, accomplished musician, popular, and an all round excellent kid. However, according to him, he is using more marijuana than he should. He has agreed to join a support group for teens trying to reduce or stop their use of grass. Does anyone know of such a group or a therapist who runs such groups east or west of the tunnel? Concerned parent

Narcotics or Marijuana anonymous would be great for your son. There are some meetings at The Gilman - www.924gilman.org/ - in Berkeley that are very oriented towards younger people. My daughter who is 15 loves going to NA meetings at The Gilman anon

If you have Kaiser, they have a program for substance abuse that sounded good. Look on their website. There is also NA, you might have to search for a teen meeting. As you might know, they are a 12 step program same as AA. I went through something like this with my younger daughter, she was not into it enough for an out-patient program through Thunder Road, but that is also an option. If you have insurance call them about it as it's quite expensive. My daughter ended up having an epiphany of sorts on her own and decided then and there to give it up. It's great that your son is talking to you about it and is asking for help. I wonder if his school has any resources? You might also look on the web about groups specifically for pot smokers. Sorry I can't be of more help. Good Luck anon

My son has had a good experience going to the Narcotics Anonymous meeting Wednesday nights (9:00pm) at the Gilman. He's 16 and has spent a year sober after going through a difficult year drinking, smoking marijuana and doing assorted other drugs. The Wednesday night meeting is usually attended by a younger group than the usual NA or AA meeting. The Gilman is a music venue on week-ends (and ironically is the site of a lot of his previous drugging and drinking) and has Monday and Wednesday night NA meetings. It's in Albany on Gilman across the street from the Pyramid Brewery. We also benefitted from the out-patient and in-patient services of ThunderRoad , but if your son is interested in quitting on his own NA may be enough support for him. Best of Luck another teen mom