Teen Not Getting Enough Sleep

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Teen stays up half the night, falls asleep in class

Nov 2010

When a child is a night owl, stays up half the night to read, can't wake up in time to go to school on time, is very smart but getting bad grades because she falls asleep in class, what do you do? B.


Sounds like a great time to set some boundaries and ''house'' rules. That means lights out by a certain time; 10 pm 11 pm whatever fits your family. You might also try no phone calls after a certain time at night especially on school nights. If they have a cell phone they can put it in the community drawer along with yours after a certain time at night. Your teen won't like these rules, but if you are confident, firm, kind and most of all, consistent, you have a much greater chance of being successful. School is a teen's job just like getting up and going to work is a parent's responsibillity. There is simply no negotiating. If you waiver and behave inconsistently they will too. A parent's job is to set boundaries in their household for an acceptable standard of behavior. Do it now before it gets out of hand. Attach a consequence, bad grades means no going out on weekends or whatever you decide. Find other parents you can talk with about raising teens. Start a parenting group. Perhaps the school can help you. Most of all and I urge all parents ''DON'T WORRY ABOUT MAKING YOUR TEEN MAD/ANGRY''. They get mad and angry especially when you enforce rules but that's your job. jan


Make her a big cup of coffee in the morning. ;} Pam


What about something like Berkeley High Independent Study - other districts might have something similar. The schedule is a lot more flexible -- the student checks in with each teacher once a week to get work checked and get new assignments but otherwise studies on his/her own. This worked well (for a while) for my night owl; he would schedule his appointments with teachers for the afternoons and then he could sleep in and study at night on his own time. But this only works if you have a kid who will get the work done on their own. Otherwise I think it would be in your kid's best interest to work on re-calibrating his schedule so he can be awake during the day. anon I am surprised that no-one gave what to me is the obvious reply - have the child take an afternoon nap!

All my kids were night owls in their teen years, some still are as adults. I don't think that forcing them to go to bed works. Even without a cell-phone or a computer they stay up. One likes to read before falling asleep. One writes poetry in her journal. One loves to paint and draw till 1 am! and one composes music till all hours. I think it has to do with the way the teenage brain develops, that their creativity bursts in the wee hours.

In addition to healthy food (no sweets), I had them take vitamins and minerals, plus fish-oil, to make sure their health is supported. I explained about the importance of 8 hours of sleep (out of 24)for their brain and body. The afternoon nap did wonders for them.

If your rules accommodate their quirks, there's a better chance that they will listen to you. accommodating mom


This is an interesting podcast on parenting teens. One of the speakers said that lights affect melatonin production, and even bedtime texting can disrupt their sleep. http://www.marinjcc.org/cjlpodcast/ mom of a tired teen


14-year-old averages 5-6 hrs of sleep per night

Feb 2008

We have a 14 yr old who can not self regulate to get 9+ hours of sleep each night. When younger bed time no problem. Now, doesn't get to bed before 1:00AM. Averages between 5-6 hours per night. Teen feels it is the only free time they have. Stays up reading or sneaking the computer. Have locked up computer but wonder if that really helps teen to self regulate. Have any suggestions?
concerned parent


My advice is not to worry. Most teens only get 5 to 6 hours a night of sleep anyway and then catch up on the weekends. It's the same with many adults. When I was a teen I remember staying up until 1 am listening to the radio (long before there was an Internet) while doing homework, etc. Locking the computer is probably a good idea. Anon


16-year-old daughter has never been a good sleeper

August 2005

My 16-year-old daughter has had sleeping issues all of her life. She has never been a good sleeper (and when I was pregnant with her I also had trouble sleeping--the only time that has ever happened in my life). It's gotten to the point that there are nights when she reports not sleeping at all, just tossing and turning in bed endlessly. She seems exhausted in the mornings, but rallies during the day, and by evening is once again wide awake. She goes to school, does her homework, is involved in activities, and otherwise leads a normal life, but I know she is tired much of the time, and both she and we, her parents, are concerned. Her pediatrician has heard our worries for many years, and has given advice which has never helped much. At her last visit he gave her a prescription for sleeping medication (can't remember the name offhand, and I just took it in to the pharmacy to be filled). She's hesitant, as are we, to go down this path, but feel powerless to do much of anything else. She's tried all the usual remedies--keeping to a routine, drinking warm milk, sleepytime tea, yoga, etc. She says she just can't turn off her brain at night, and she is a very cerebral kid! Any advice? I've thought of biofeedback, therapy, meditation, but have no leads to pursue. Would welcome ideas from anyone who has been there and found something that helps. anonymous


I have no personal experience with sleep disorders, but reputedly the best place in the country is in Stanford: http://www.med.stanford.edu/school/psychiatry/coe/

''Stanford University Center of Excellence for the Diagnosis and Treatment of Sleep Disorders''. Your pediatrician can be expected not to know much about a special area of medicine like that. Good luck!


I had insomnia when I was a teen too. I didn't have any good methods then, but now when I can't sleep, I meditate and it helps alot. I would have her practice every day just breathing, eyes closed in a quiet room, and focusing on the way the breath feels coming out of and going into her body. It does take some practice to keep your mind quiet but you get better at it with practice. Then when she wants to go to sleep, she can meditate herself to sleep - works for me right away every time. anon


My daughter is 14 and was also having trouble falling asleep. I think it's a sign of anxiety. I know that she also has many things on her mind. I have been thinking about us learning meditation together, and want to encourage her to write out her thoughts earlier, before bedtime. I have given her herbal remedies before with on and off success. Some of those that might work for your daughter are: a homoepathic remedy called ''calms forte''; valerian; a combo of tinctures of passionflower, skullcap, & camomille. But I have to say the best thing that has worked is when she has been VERY active during the day. She just started long- distance running and has been falling alseep the minute her head hits the pillow! It's wonderful! I hope it lasts!! fingers-crossed mom


Just like your teenager I had problems turning of my brain. I think it started during my teens and endend somewhere in my twenties. What helped me was putting a pen and noteblock next to my bed. Every time a though enterend my mind I would write it down. Either to remember, I would toss and turn just because I was afraid to forget something, or to get rid of things that kept bothering me. Putting it on paper got it out of my system. It is a simple solution and definetly worked for me. I wish I had known it earlier. Hope it will help your daughter. Good luck anon


I too have struggled with insomnia off and on my whole life. I was very reluctant to try sleeping pills and waited until I was in my late 40s to have a go. Boy, do I wish I'd used them earlier! They're certainly not perfect, and have to be used judiciously. I try to never use them more than three nights in a row. However, when it's a choice between lying awake in bed for hours and sleeping, sleeping is much, much better, no question.

Also, has your daughter tried Melatonin? This also has to be used with some care, but the timed-release seems to work pretty well, though not on the worst nights. For that I use the sleeping pills.

So, my advice is to go slowly and carefully, but use the pills when they are needed and don't worry about it. Good luck. Dianna


Try acupuncture! I had insomnia for MANY years and acupuncture has cured me! Several other family members have also been helped. We see Carla Cassler in Berkeley. She's great--both of my kids have gone to her for years, and she's terrific with teenagers. No more sleepless nights


hi. I have struggled with insomnia for most of my life, beginning in my early teens. I don't have much in the way of advice only to add that I have come to the realization now at the age of 29 that I just don't need as much sleep as everyone else. I tried lots of things and I would stay away from drugs as they do not give the same quality of sleep, they are addictive, and when weaning yourself off of them the side effect is insomnia, so in my case for one night of drug induced 4 hours sleep I was sleepless for the next 3 nights getting the stuff out of my system. What works for me now is exercise early in the morning, and using ear-plugs and an eye-pillow to settle myself into sleep at night, and not watching any tv in the evening to start my mind going. But I still don't sleep much. If your daughter is have trouble with school or living her life I would recommend seeing an accupuncturist, Pat Lollis is the one I went to she's in Albany, at my worst accupuncture was what worked for me. If she seems to do just fine on no sleep, get her a hobby like knitting and let her know that in college the ability to function with less sleep will come in very handy during finals and even handier if she one day decides to have children of her own... sleepless but ok with it


When I read your e-mail it stuck a chord. As a child- and sometimes still- I had trouble turning my brain off at night. My mom tried this meditation type of exercise with me that worked very well- none of the other stuff you mentioned worked for me either. Basically I just have to close my eyes and imagine everything from that day that is going on in my head, and then push it out slowly while taking deep breaths (like elevator doors opening onto nothingness). I've always imagined a blank white screen. Whenever something tries to creep in, I just push it back out- I can't let the thought get in to far or I have to start over. My mom used to talk me through it in a very soothing voice when I was young and it would sometimes take awhile, but over time, I got much better at clearing my mind and making my thoughts stop. I empathize and wish you luck.- oh one other mediatation trick that I picked up is to ask yourself ''why can't I sleep?'' and then follow the chain of questions and answers until you feel you have come to a concrete answer that can hopefully be acted upon- for ex. can't sleep b/c I didn't apologize for ...- I'll get out of bed and write a letter. It just feels good to take control and sometimes that one action will make me feel that I did something and the rest can wait till tomorrow. Sorry this was longwinded- good luck. anon


I would suggest you look into Calms Forte. You can buy it over the counter at Whole Foods and similar places. This is what I have recently found to be extraordinarily effective for my own insomnia. I have exactly the same problem as your daughter - I can't turn my brain off at night! Calms Forte has, surprisingly to me actually, worked wonders for me. Your daughter's mileage may vary. Might be worth a try. Good luck! sleeping MUCH better now :-)


Teens & sleep deprivation

November 2001

I would like to get some feedback and perspective from parents. I have an ongoing concern about sleep deprivation among our teens and how it is impacting their health as well as their performance in school, and would like to get some feedback and perspective from other parents.

Part of the problem is the starting time of many Bay Area high schools, and the scheduling of difficult classes first thing in the morning. Albany High starts at 7:40 am, and many of the more advanced classes which have only one section, such as math, are offered at that hour. These classes require a lot of concentration, at an hour when most teens are still waking up.

Studies have shown that teen's biological clocks shift during puberty, and not only do they need more sleep, but they naturally stay up longer and need to sleep longer. Their brains don't start functioning at peak until later in the morning, around 8:30 or 9:00 am. Sleep deprivation amongst our teens is brought on by the multitude of responsibilities they have and by their own natural sleep cycle, which may be impairing their ability of learn and retain information.

Our high school students are trying to balance their school work in multiple subjects, along with part-time jobs, practice in sports or an arts activity that often goes late into the evening. Our daughter, who is in 11th grade at Albany High, cannot get to her homework until 7 or 8 pm, and works until midnight or 1 am, because the homework load is so heavy. She is seriously tired when she gets up at 6:40 am to get to a 7:40 am class. And this tiredness is cumulative, as sleep deprivation builds up and eventually makes her sick and have to miss school.

I find this kind of scheduling and pressure unhealthy for our kids, and would welcome your comments.

Eileen


Hi Eileen! I must agree with your assessment that school starting times, scheduling of difficult classes, and teen biological clocks are all in opposition to one another. My teen (age 17, would be a senior this year) suffered from it exactly as you describe. The early start hour is silly, given that time is available after school, when many teens are just hanging out and getting into trouble (I know she was!). For those who complain that extracurricular activities must happen then, my question is why? What reason can be given not to put at least some of the extracurricular activities into the morning slot instead? I clearly remember school starting at 9am at my HS in San Jose in the late 70's--and just as clearly remember playing in the orchestra at 8am. It was tough, and I didn't choose to do it every year. At least that way, the *academic* subjects would be taught during the time of the students' peak performance. Presumably, that's what school is about anyway, right? We seemed to do just fine starting our extracurricular activites at 3:30 or 4pm each day--why can't they do that now?

Regarding scheduling of hard classes into the morning--I have NO idea why this is done, but it's a bad idea. This happened to my daughter. Her required, difficult, math class was scheduled ONLY at 8am. She is NOT a morning person. Neither are we. The class was a disaster from the start. Despite my pleadings with both her and her counselor that she delay the class to another semester and time, she went ahead and took it. She failed, and the failure in that class caused her to lose confidence, give up, and subsequently fail in every other class, and eventually she attempted suicide over being such a failure. Rather than have this happen again, we chose to remove her from the school system altogether, and un-school her (like homeschooling, but more directed by the student). This is a radical solution, but appears to be one of the few solutions available when no one is listening to the fact that these early hours DO NOT WORK for teens.

BTW: Since she has been unschooling, she's done just fine on a schedule that has her going to sleep at midnight, and leaving for work/classes around 11 am. She's happy, productive, learning lots, and wonderful to be around. An utter contrast from her former tired, cranky, unmotivated self. Good luck convincing the powers that be to change things! Sincerely, Dawn


I agree with you that sleep deprivation in teens is a big problem that receives little acknowledgement. From a WebMD summary of the problem at http://my.webmd.com/content/article/1728.60579

Studies show that while fifth and sixth graders can be wide awake all day after about nine hours' sleep, teenagers need 10 hours to be alert all day long, says Richard D. Simon, Jr., MD, medical director of the Kathryn Severyns Dement Sleep Disorder Center in Walla Walla, WashSimon. The average teenager gets about six hours' sleep, so he's sleep-depriving himself completely, he says. Other researchers put the necessary amount of sleep for teens at about 9 hours and 15 minutes a night. ... In addition, high-school-age children appear to undergo a shift in their biological 'body clock,' which tells them when to rise and go to bed, he says: There's some evidence that teenagers' biological clock may be programmed to start turning off later at night and turn on later in morning. According to the National Sleep Foundation report, studies have shown that the typical high school student's natural bedtime is 11 p.m. or later.

So an 11pm bedtime, pretty reasonable for teens with homework and after school activities, means that your teen should be sleeping till 8:30 or 9 in the morning, which is impossible for most high schools. Allowing an hour for the teen to have a shower and eat breakfast and wait for the bus, we're looking at an arrival time 10am or so. I think what happens instead is they are forced to get up too early, fall asleep during class, walk through the day like a zombie, and try to catch up on the weekends.

I'm not too optimistic about the schools figuring this problem out in the next 20 years. After all they still think all families have a mommy at home to greet kids at 3pm every day. There are alternatives though. My son just started this year at Berkeley High Independent Study. The jury is still out on whether this change will address his academic issues. But one huge benefit of BIS is that my night owl son has been able to arrange his schedule so that he can sleep in most mornings. The combination of more sleep and more control over his schedule has really made a big difference in his day-to-day demeanor and in our relationship too. Ginger


My feeling is that we have schools organized backwards. The academics should start at 10:30 or 11:00 am and run through until 5:00pm, and all the extracurricular activities and sports should start early in the morning. That way, the kids who are not interested in those things don't have to be to school until later, when their minds and bodies are awake. In addition, for those kids who are interested in the extracurricular activities, I'm sure it's easier to do those activities rather than academics early in the morning. Martina


I have no doubt that a regular lack of sleep contributes to a myriad of vulnerabilities in young people which can cause emotional strain leading to physical illness or mental deterioration. I know for myself (a middle-aged single Mom) that sleep deprivation on an ongoing basis contributes to the aging process and certainly influences how present I can be in interpersonal communication or in basic functions such as driving and cooking. Children and adolescents (ages 10-18) are resilient, but over time a lack of sleep robs them of being present in their lives and handicaps their ability to receive and process the world around them. I would imagine continued lack of rest can impair decision-making ability and the receptivity of brain cells for learning. I have a seventh grader who is a conscientious student and has been educated through sixth grade in a Montessori environment. He is self-motivated, interested in learning, quite expressive when engaged in a conversation geared to his level, and active in sports and music. This year the time dedicated to homework (in a more conventional school setting) has probably quadrupled. My biggest questions are Does this amount of homework contribute to the education of my son? and Is the loss of sleep resulting from staying up late to finish homework detrimental to his health and upsetting a balance in life that makes for a vibrant, caring, creative, and self-reflective human being?

The patterns of discipline and study that are set in middle school are in most cases the ones that will carry students through high school and college. So teaching good study habits and time management are important skills for later in life. I also think that broadening the base of knowledge in specific subjects is also a postive achievement in middle school. HOWEVER, is there a danger that we are also teaching our children to become workaholics or something less negative do-aholics by virtue of the fact that we keep them so busy with exercises for the mind?

I question just how wise our culture is in stressing the acquisition of knowledge as a vehicle for self-fulfillment and social success without a complementary emphasis on the cultivation of wisdom. Have we not forgotten to tend to the spirit and introduce qualities and practices that are meant to open our young people to the possibility of wisdom arising from silence and quiet reflection?

I have many more questions than answers; however, this culture seems to have many more answers than questions. The problem arises when questions are no longer encouraged, discussion is had for the sake of hearing oneself and others talk, and political discourse is used to condone the righteousness of one group's values. Wisdom is concealed by efforts at pleasant social intercourse, or worse yet by efforts to establish one point of view as superior to another. I do question the wisdom of excessive homework (busywork) at a time in the world's evolution that calls for a grand leap of understanding of what it is to be an evolving human being?

I hope I stayed close enought to the topic, Eileen. I am wrestling with questions that arise from living with an emerging adolescent and the changes that come with all that, including homework and scheduling.

Suzanne


I would like to chime in regarding sleep deprivation among children and teens. I notice a dramatic difference in my 15 yr old son's ability to cope with school, peers, family, the world when he gets enough sleep -- which for him is 9 to 9 1/2 hours every night. So until school starts later, he is in bed no later than 10 pm, and usually by 9:30. (and if homework isn't done he has to do lots of catchup on the weekend)

I think it would be useful if there were a variety of schedules to accommodate the various internal clocks the kids (hey and teachers too) have. But don't forget -- if your kid stays up to 11 pm to do homework now when he or she is getting out of school at 2:45-- would you really be happy with him or her staying up till 1 am or later to get the same amount of work done because school didn't end until 5 pm? Maybe we are just allowing our kids to do too much (school plus sports plus jobs...)