Which Neighborhood for LGBTQ Family?

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  • Where can we safely and affordably live as an LGBTQ family?

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    Oct 26, 2022

    My wife and I recently relocated to the SF Bay Area from Alexandria, Virginia for my job in Mountain View. We'll both still be remote employees and I'll only need to travel into the office as needed for meetings and major work events. We've been exploring several neighborhoods that feel safe and inclusive for us to raise our daughter (and hopefully, a second child soon). We've been drawn to the Kensington neighborhood (near Tilden park), but are realizing that list prices are far lower than what sellers actually want for their homes so we're quickly becoming priced out, which is so tough. We've been exploring some properties on the outskirts of Kensington in El Cerrito (mostly in the hills), but those are competitive as well. People must just have gobs of money here as high-interest rates just aren't deterring people from escalating.

    We're ideally seeking a 3-4 bedroom / 2 bathroom (1750-2500 sqft), private yard with trees (we have two dogs), mid-century modern or simply modern and updated, open floor plan, lots of natural light, maybe some unique architecture, at least 3 bedrooms all on the same floor, space for us both to work from home, parking for one car, and walkable to cafes/restaurants/markets/parks and situated among a really liberal, educated, inclusive, kid-friendly community with good schools (we're open to private, but want to be in a good school district for potential resale value). 

    Where else should we consider? We're curious about some neighborhoods in the North Bay, as they seem more affordable ($1-1.4M) - Fairfax, Petaluma, Santa Rosa, and Sebastapol. The South Bay just seems way beyond our means, and the East Bay is a mix of safe and unsafe for our comfort. Where is a lesbian couple with kids to go these days to safely and comfortably raise their children among a like-minded community situated near nature?

    If California fails us, we're open to looking elsewhere along the west coast - for instance, Southern California, Portland, or maybe somewhere in Washington State. Or... we give up and go back East. 

    We'd love to hear any suggestions and perspectives from this community. Thank you!

    Oct 26, 2022

    I think the good news is that many neighborhoods in the greater Bay Area have plenty of same-sex couples, so you don't really need to filter for that on your first cut. As you have found out, houses here are expensive. Especially given your worksite, even if you don't have to be there every day, you could look at Oakland Hills, San Leandro, or Castro Valley.

    Oct 27, 2022

    Point Richmond — a cute little hidden gem, family friendly, friendly neighbors and walkable with shops and cafes and the beach. There is a wonderful and affordable private school nearby called Crestmont — very progressive and inclusive.

    San Leandro — nice sized houses and a lot of Oakland / Berkeley folks moving there for more space 

    El Sobrante is also worth checking out.

    Pleasant Hill — we have 4 friends who moved to PH from Oakland/Berkeley. All are very happy with their larger homes, yard, and school. Hey report that the community is diverse and inclusive.

    You may have written Oakland out but Oakland Hills are more affordable and beautiful. Not quite walkable though.

    Alameda — I wish I had bought in Alameda instead of Oakland. The entire island is walkable and has good schools. 

     

    Oct 28, 2022

    We recently moved to Redwood Heights/Laurel and are loving it so far! The neighborhood fits a lot of your criteria and is very diverse, liberal, friendly, etc. with a great community feel. 

    Nov 2, 2022

    I think for your price range in the near east bay, you'd be looking at a smaller home with some fixer upper elements to it. Anything recently updated at that size will be higher than your stated range, especially in desirable school districts. Alameda is a great option - it is safe, walkable and has a desirable school district. Commuting to the south bay might be tricky though. Overall though I would recommend a re-set in your expectations of what you want vs need in a home. It is hard coming from the east coast and seeing how much less far your money goes here.  

    Nov 2, 2022

    I will be honest. You're asking for a lot.  3-4 bedrooms for $1mil in the Bay Area with good schools in a good neighborhood will not happen. Unfortunately in California, you can't have it all - size, location, look of the house, and price. So you'll have to choose. We chose to give up size for a walkable neighborhood with good schools. If you remain fully remote, you might consider a different state altogether. Many people have left the Bay Area in search of more reasonable cost of living. I have friends who went to Colorado and have remote jobs in SF. 

    Nov 2, 2022

    If I could do it all over again, I would have set up my family life outside of the Bay Area, but I had no remote options when I first started working at Google (I assume this is where you are working; apologies if that's not the case). I love it here, and now we have a lot of community and family so we're stuck, but it's a hard, expensive place to live. I love your Sebastopol and Fairfax ideas, and of course everyone from here goes to Portland for similar lifestyle and lower costs. Also check out Santa Cruz. Some of the areas in and around Seattle could work for you too if you can stand the grey skies. Or even look down south at San Diego and its suburbs. If you're committed to the Bay Area, Alameda is wonderful but the lots are tiny, maybe check out Walnut Creek as well; you might find what you want but be careful which school district your house is in. If you only have to go into Mountain View on occasion, I would probably just look elsewhere to get all the things on your list, and pay for flights a few times a year to go back to the office (and push your manager to let you go full remote eventually or be based out of another office like Seattle or San Diego, if you're working for Google). You can probably get a much nicer house, have a better quality of life, have great public schools, less traffic, and pay a lot less overall if you broaden your search to more places on the West Coast. Or even Boulder!  Good luck. 

    Nov 2, 2022

    Davis! It’s not in the Bay Area, but if you only need to go to Mountain View occasionally, the extra distance won’t matter. It’s a college town, with a lot of amenities, one of the best farmers markets in the country, good schools, affordable childcare (compared to the Bay), lots of nature within easy access, and steadfastly liberal. Come on a Saturday morning to check out downtown!

    Nov 2, 2022

    Try Alameda! We have relatively safe neighborhoods, good schools, and a diverse, welcoming population. My teen kids have had LGBTQ families in their classes since preschool. You might need to compromise a bit on some of your home requirements, but you might not. We have plenty of housing in your price range, and most houses are within walking distance of shops, restaurants, and parks. We have lots of parks and miles of beaches, and although it feels more urban than Kensington or the El Cerrito Hills, it's also much more walkable because it's flat. It's very common to see kids roaming around neighborhoods on bikes or on foot, and my impression is that most kids walk or bike to school. Good luck with your search!

    Nov 2, 2022

    I live in East Richmond Heights and love it. It's more affordable than other East Bay locations, has sidewalks, is pretty quiet and near Alvarado Park. Houses and lots vary in size, but there are occasionally ones that fit your requirements. No walking to cafes, though! And I've heard mixed things about the local elementary school. The neighborhood feeds into the El Cerrito middle and high schools. 

    Nov 2, 2022

    With some exceptions, the further you get from the Bay Area the trickier things are likely to get  - I think you would have an easier time in the East Bay than you would in Petaluma/Sebastopol/Santa Rosa, for example. The Hayward Hills, unincorporated Fairview, and Castro Valley are both worth considering. You'll still find the occasional conservative/right wing household, but they're fairly rare in my experience. We have LGBT+ friends in San Leandro, Alameda, Hayward, and all over Oakland. The outskirts of San Jose might also be worth considering, though I feel like you'll run into more conservative folks in that direction. You're 100% right that school districts matter for resale value, but they'll also drive the prices up. Several of my recommendations aren't in the best school districts, but I figured if you were going to flex on something, it would probably be school district rather than LGBT+ friendliness. Good luck!

    Nov 2, 2022

    My wife and I moved here from Del Ray and live in El Cerrito (in the flats). I think it checks a lot of your boxes.  But it is pricey for houses, you’re right, and you don’t really get what you pay for in terms of city services (parks are mediocre, restaurants are uninspired, etc) but you can head over to Albany and Berkeley for all of this. Happy to chat if helpful!

    Nov 2, 2022

    I'm from Mtn View and lived as an adult in Kensington. The drive between the two cities can be horrific. There's no way I'd choose to be that far away even if I didn't have to regularly drive in. Maybe look at the Willow Glen neighborhood in SanJose. It's cute and you won't want to stab your eye with your pencil when you have to drive in. I might also look at Redwood City. Pick a place without a bridge between you and the office. The LGBT thing is fine anywhere in the bay area.

    Nov 2, 2022

    Not sure why you’ve written Oakland off when it’s the most LGBTQ+ friendly city in the Bay Area

    Nov 2, 2022

    We had been looking for a house for over two years and had almost all the same questions/wants as you. We absolutely loved Fairfax and found the culture to be super outdoorsy and very progressive. The houses closer to SFD are walkable to town and the schools are amazing. The issue was that a lot of the houses are super old and funky. There was almost always a concession we were having to make or the house needed lots of hidden work. That being said, the prices are the most reasonable outside of Novato (for Marin). Novato was cute, has tons of open space, and is walkable as well in certain neighborhoods. Plus and the houses are newer. It's much more conservative though. The schools are also pretty conservative from what I've heard from a few co workers who live there. 

    Ultimately, we ended up finding a great house in West Berkeley that we just recently moved into. The vibe here seems to be progressive with lots of young families. There are tons of kids around all the time. The houses seemed to range in work needed, but there were definitly lots with upgrades, nice finishes, and all that we looked at had yards and garages. 

    Nov 2, 2022

    Before moving out of state, we lived in the Montclair neighborhood of the Oakland hills. We loved it. Our neighbors were the type you describe, our views were amazing, and we could walk to the shops of Montclair village on the stairs near the back of our home. (We lived at Colton Blvd and Snake Rd.)

    So many dreamy memories from our days there. 

    Nov 7, 2022

  • Areas with good schools and a LGBTQ presence under $850K?

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    May 7, 2018

    Hello all,

    My wife and I have recently moved from Boston to the Bay Area for my job. We are currently renting in Danville and aside from it being totally untouchable to us price-wise, we are not connecting with the community and would really prefer an area with more diversity and more of an LGBTQ presence. It seems like Oakland is the best option for that sort of area but the schools as a whole are not rated well. We have a 3 and 1/2 year old son and an 11 month old daughter and we are hoping to buy within the next year (trying to stay under $850K if we can). Are there areas we are overlooking? Affordable private schools that we should look into to make Oakland work? Any advice would be much appreciated! Thank you!!!

    Kira 

    May 7, 2018

    I have two pieces of advice for you.  One is to not make your determination about what schools are good based on the test scores.  Generally, really high test scores correlate with really high incomes among the parents and/or and intense testing focus by the school.  I would think about the kind of climate you'd like for your children to go to school in, and try to find that, with the understanding that in elementary school at least any "gaps" in instruction tend to be easily and almost effortlessly closed by engaged  parents who read to their kids and take them to museums, etc.  I myself went to high school in Danville and was absolutely miserable there and at my elementary school in San Ramon.  The quality of teaching was mediocre at best, but everyone was affluent so the scores looked good.  My daughter, in contrast, goes to Ellerhorst elementary in Pinole, and although I was very nervous at the start of the year because the test scores aren't very good (and in fact almost panicked and moved to private school), we are very happy there and her own test scores are showing remarkable progress.  The school is extremely diverse, and we have been blown away by the kind, supportive, family-like atmosphere of the school.  Some schools achieve good test scores by sacrificing many of the things we value in our children's education: PE, music and movement, science, art, imaginative play, and it was a game changer for us to realize that while we valued quality education, that did not always mean picking the school with the best test scores.

    My second piece of advice would be to check out West Contra Costa County.  I lived in Oakland for a decade and will always love Oakland, but it is pretty much out of reach for under $850k in the kind of family friendly neighborhood I'm imagining you would want (especially when you consider that the listing prices tend to be $100k or more under the eventual sale price).  El Sobrante, Pinole, and Hercules are the hidden gems of the East Bay, and although the WCCUSD schools often are not super highly ranked, we know many, many families who are extremely happy with their neighborhood schools.  I can only speak to Pinole, but it offers a lot of the good parts of growing up in the TriValley area (amenities, greenery, safety) without the competition and snobbery and intense social pressure that made it so awful as a child that didn't fit in in Danville and San Ramon.  The area has been filled with a lot of older folks for a long time, but in the last two years or so, we've seen a huge wave of older folks moving out and young families and couples moving in from Berkeley/Oakland etc.  Check it out! 

    May 7, 2018

    I agree with the previous poster! Schools in West Contra Costa and San Leandro/Hayward may not have great test scores, but many of the students do very well and the schools are very diverse. In fact, Korematsu Middle School in El Cerrito is the 4th most ethnically diverse middle school in the entire US. The basic curriculum is the same at every public school in California.

    May 8, 2018

    I'd highly recommend Alameda. It's an island town outside of Oakland that feels like a close-knit community, yet is close to everything. The housing market is competitive, so you'd probably be looking at a 2 bedroom home in your price range, but it's definitely more affordable than Oakland.  The schools are all excellent and the community is extremely welcoming. In particular, I've found it to be super family friendly with lots of events, resources and parent groups. 

    May 9, 2018

    Just here to echo what previous posters have said - you should definitely have a look at West Contra Costa. I grew up in Oakland and went through the city's public school system but when I moved back to the Bay Area two years ago and started looking to buy a home, I was deterred by how poorly the public schools were rated. Granted, one shouldn't entirely judge the system on these ratings, but with friends who actually teach in some of these Oakland public schools who shared some not so great stories with me, we figured it was worth widening our house-hunting options (and who knows, perhaps in a few years' time, Oakland public schools will be doing better with the shift in demographics/continued gentrification of the city...as another poster pointed out, parental involvement is critical). In any event, we were pleasantly surprised when we ended up buying in El Cerrito. This city also seems to be going through a demographic shift, with a mix of an older generation who've probably lived here all their lives and younger families/couples moving in. Our kids are still young so haven't entered the public schools yet, thus, I can't speak to that, but we're also liking its proximity to Berkeley/SF/Oakland in case we need to head to any of those spots. Overall, we've been really happy with our decision to move out this way.

    May 9, 2018

    Check out the Grass Valley neighborhood in Oakland. It’s diverse, quiet and can fit in your 850k budget. We bought here a year ago and couldn’t be happier. We anticipated going with private school when our child reached school age and now we are hearing such great things about our local elementary school that were considering it when our son starts K in another year. I’m happy to answer questions you have about the neighborhood. 

    May 9, 2018

    Hi, welcome to the Bay Area!  I’m sure you’ll hear a lot of this, and you probably know this already if you’ve looked around much, but even a 2-ber will be impossible to find in Oakland, and even more so in Berkeley/Albany / other parts of Alameda County. You could try the Richmond Annex, but from what I understand your kids will pretty much have to go to private schools if you go that route. I wish your family the best of luck; housing is a real problem here, though other aspects of living here are nice. 

    May 9, 2018

    I know a couple families in Oakland who weren't happy with their public school assignments this year (mostly because the assigned school was very far from their homes) that have been looking at St. Theresa school in Oakland. It is a Catholic school but according to the families I know, it is very welcoming to non-Catholic families. It is significantly cheaper than ordinary private school, although obviously more than public. Might be worth a look. 

    May 9, 2018

    We recently decided to relocate to Davis for better home prices (yes, you can buy for under 850 there) and strong schools.

    May 9, 2018

    I'd second previous poster's glowing recommendations of Pinole. I can't speak personally to the experience of LGBT families, but can say that there does appear to be a lot of diversity here (ethnic, economic, generational, etc). My 20-month daughter and I go to our local playground almost every day and see kids there from all different backgrounds. Our neighborhood has a lot of empty-nesters but also a LOT of new families moving in. We're probably going to send our daughter to the East Bay Waldorf School for at least her preschool education, which would not be everyone's choice, but have also heard wonderful things about Ellerhorst and are still thinking seriously about going the public route for grade school. I'm happy to talk in more detail if it would help -- feel free to PM me :)

    May 9, 2018

    Hello, and welcome to the area! We bought in Oakland in December 2017 for 750K (I still feel my heart rate jump when I say that) and we are really happy with our neighborhood. My daughter is finishing up the school year in Berkeley and will be starting at a public school in Oakland in the fall. It's not our neighborhood school but it is a diverse public school not too far and we're hopeful about it. I would echo the words of other parents that test scores reflect little more than the socioeconomic status of the families, not the dedication and strength of the teachers. BPN is actually a great forum for parent feedback about specific schools, so you can search old posts when it comes time to make your school selections. So I wouldn't write off Oakland just yet. We live in Fairfax, close to Maxwell Park, and I think you can still buy for under $800K there. Happy to talk more - and recommend a great realtor! - if you want to message me :)

    May 9, 2018

    Another vote here for considering more than test scores (which might as well be a proxy for housing costs, it's so closely related to local average income) when considering local public school districts!  School quality is about a lot more than numeric "ratings".

    For whatever it's worth, even in school districts with an overall poorer reputation, such as Oakland and West Contra Costa, involved parents tend to like the elementary schools very much.  Your children are so young that a lot can change between now and when they are ready to graduate from high school, and you don't know yet whether they may have any special needs in school (even well-rated schools often don't do a great job of supporting kids who are exceptionally gifted or who have learning disabilities or other particular challenges).  So if you find an area that's a good fit for your family, you may want to start your kids in the neighborhood school and revisit the private school decision when they reach middle or high school age.

    All that said: Besides Oakland, and El Sobrante/Pinole/Hercules as suggested by the previous person, consider Albany (there are condos selling in your price range; the town is very white but is adjacent to more racially diverse neighborhoods, and there's a substantial LGBTQ+ presence) and El Cerrito, and also San Leandro and Castro Valley (I have a few friends who've bought homes in that area after being priced out of Berkeley/Albany, and they are very happy with their neighborhoods and grade schools; none of them happen to be LGBTQ but in general, those cities are a lot more diverse than anything east of the hills). 

    May 9, 2018

    Take a look at Alameda. There are lots of LGBTQ families. Housing is not affordable overall, but there are still nice smaller homes available in the price range you mentioned. Public schools are good K - 12, with regular and charter options at every level. Very family friendly community, lots of parks, access to the beach. Easy access to BART, SF, etc. We've never regretted moving there!

    May 9, 2018

    I agree with the first poster. School ratings correspond to test scores, which correspond to the socioeconomic status of the children’s parents, which of course often correlates with race. People say they want diversity, but then they don’t tolerate it in their schools, except in very small amounts. Sorry to be blunt, but places like Oakland don’t need more gentrifiers who don’t want to be part of the community.

    May 9, 2018

    Oakland is really wonderful but it's also blown up, price-wise. And there's no such thing as an affordable private school. You have to come look at Richmond. I'm in Each Richmond Heights, but there are many really fantastic neighborhoods here. You can contact me off-line. We have an amazing LGBTQ community and a diverse elementary school. Same-same about test scores, that's often a reflection of how many English-language-learners there are, which = diversity. Talk to parents at the schools you are thinking of and come look at them. 

    May 9, 2018

    I like to tell parents the best determining factor for a child's success has little to do with the school they attend and more to do with the family environment they come from. Parents (caregivers) who care and are involved in their child's education both at school and at home make the difference no matter where their child attends school. They also make the difference at the schools their children attend. Schools with not-great test scores but great parent involvement should not be ruled out. We attend a fantastic school in Pinole (Ellerhorst) after moving here two years ago. It is very diverse in every way you can imagine- we have socioeconomic diversity, cultural diversity, ability diversity (we have 3 classrooms for severely and non-severely handicapped children) and political diversity. We have a strong and committed PTA and a very active Dads Club. I'm so happy to be part of this community. Some other pluses of this particular area (Pinole Valley-the community that begins at the east side of the freeway off the Pinole Valley Road exit) are the lush rolling hills with hiking trails, the wildlife, the better summer weather and safety. My big kid can ride his bike freely throughout the valley with the other neighborhood kids. But hurry before home prices get crazy- prices here are starting to take off! 

    Loving Pinole

    May 9, 2018

    We just moved to the El sobrante section of Richmond and love it so far! Our 12m old will likely attend Valley View elementary which parents seem to like. The neighborhood is diverse but a little light on the LGBT families as far as we have seen so far but we are queer and recruiting;)

    May 9, 2018

    Don't discount Oakland schools. Oakland gets a bad rap in so many ways, yet there is so much to love. It is extremely diverse, family friendly, amazing food, LGBTQ friendly, and yes, have great schools. Like previous poster said, don't rely on test scores or great schools.org to be the only data in your school research. When we applied to K, we had more than the 6 allowed schools you can apply for that I would send my kids to. She is now in 1st grade and extremely happy in an Oakland public school.

    As for buying a home within your budget, that may be more challenging, but there are still some diverse, affordable areas. Some areas to look are Maxwell Park, Dimond District, Santa Fe, Longfellow, Laurel, Golden Gate...

    Good luck!

    May 9, 2018

    We live in El Cerrito and really love the neighborhood and our school.  El Cerrito is close enough to Berkeley and Oakland to still be able to easily access all the fun those cities have to offer.  We have awesome parks, a rec center with pool, libraries, natural food store, brewing company, movie theater, local cafes and shops and largers chains like Trader Joes and Bed, Bath and Beyond.  El Cerrito is also BART accessible with two stations stopping here.  The homes are somewhat affordable (prices are going up currently but a few yrs ago you could definitely buy a 3 bedroom house with a yard for that amount).  We send our kids to Crestmont School in the El Cerrito/Richmond Hills (https://www.crestmontschool.org/).  It provides a wonderful, diverse, nurturing environment.  It is a co-op so the tuition is much less than other private schools and the community is tight-knit and conscientious about diversity and family differences. It is small and has a community school house feel.  Check it out!

    May 10, 2018

    Hi,

    We were looking for the same thing (we are a diverse couple), and ended up buying in Albany.  We considered Berkeley as well, but did not end up with a house we liked there, and the housing market there is much more competitive.  Another option we considered very heavily is the (Island Republic of) Alameda.  Alameda is great, probably our favorite in many ways, but did not have good commute options for us.  For all of those, you probably can find a house in your price range, but that is the lower end of the price range in any of the cities.  Based on a quick search, out of the 10 houses recently sold in Albany, only 3 sold for $850k or less.  Not that I put tremendous stock in it, but Albany's schools are always rated 9/10 or 10/10.  Much more important to me, Albany has immersion after-school programs in Spanish or Chinese (based on which elementary school you go to).   In terms of diversity, looking at the school numbers on Great Schools, Albany is less diverse than Berkeley, more middling in terms of diversity.  Walking around the streets, Albany appears more diverse that the school numbers would led me to believe - likely because it is a tiny town smack between Berkeley and El Cerrito, both of which might be considered more diverse.

    Speaking of which, I have not checked in a while, but El Cerrito was considerably cheaper when we were looking.  It also has two BART stops.  

    Good luck!

    May 10, 2018

    Check out Alameda. Although you can certainly spend more than your budget, you should be able to find something for less than $850K, particularly on the west end. The schools are generally good, and there are also some excellent charter school options. We have many LGBTQ families in our schools, along with a high degree of diversity in general. Good luck with your move! 

    May 10, 2018

    Another plug for Oakland! We live in what I think is called the upper Laurel (it's between the Dimond and Laurel districts) and it is known for having a really great LGBT community (really mostly lesbian families with young children). You can definitely find houses here for under 850K, although if you want 3 bedrooms you will get close to that. And you just never know what school you will be assigned- I think Sequoia Elem also has a good LGBT community. Good Luck!

    May 11, 2018

    San Leandro all the way.  Several neighborhoods that have more affordable homes in your price range and are safe, family-friendly, diverse.  Roosevelt Elementary is a great school and there's a LGBTQ family group I believe.

    May 14, 2018

  • Moving to the Bay Area for SF job, seeking LGBT family-friendly area

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    Nov 21, 2016

    Hi! We are planning to move in the Bay Area next year (late Spring). We are looking for an LGBT family-friendly area with good schools. My wife will be working in SF Financial District. We want to stay in the city but our finances might not be able to afford it. We have two kids (11,8) ... so we are looking for a community with good schools, easy/fast/close commute to San Francisco and LGBT family-friendly. Any suggestions? Thank you!

    Nov 21, 2016

    We moved to Albany, 8 years ago, from out of state, because, at the time, California was one of the few states with legal same sex marriage, and our son was about to start kindergarten. We wanted to live in a place where we would be accepted as a family. We chose Albany mostly for the schools and community. We are very close to a BART station, walking distance. Depending on where you're going in SF, it can take as little as 30 minutes to get there by public trans.  I believe Albany has about a 94 walkability score, which means you can pretty much walk to everything, which we love. It's only 1 square mile, and butts up against North Berkeley. We were looking at Berkeley originally, but had concerns about middle school, as we have a child of color, and I think Berkeley has a lottery system. We also didn't know how our son would do in Berkeley High School, which has over 5000 students, as opposed to Albany which has about 1500. [Editor note: Berkeley High has about 3,000 students]

    20-25% of my son's classmates in Albany come from 2-mom families. We've never had any issues regarding our acceptance as a family in our community. The schools score very high on the Great Schools site (all 9's I believe). That's the skinny on paper.

    The things we don't care for is that our Albany community is not as diverse as we thought it would be. It's predominantly white and Asian population, not many children of brown or black skin here. Not diverse socially either. And because of it's quaint small town appeal, it can many times, be too small-town for us (we moved here from a large city).

    Last warning, depending on where you're moving from, the cost of living is 30% higher than the city we moved from. And we bought a house in Albany, half the size. But we've adjusted just fine, and continue to maintain our Midwestern roots.

    I hear Alameda has good schools, Oakland, depending on the area, Berkeley does have great elementary schools. Hope that helps. Good luck!

    Nov 23, 2016

    Alameda. Hands down. 

    Nov 23, 2016

    San Leandro is a very LGBT family-friendly place. Quite a few LGBT families live in the neighborhood and attend the Roosevelt Elementary school for one. In fact, for many years the principal  there was openly gay with a family and a wife, but she has since moved on to another job in the school district.  SL is also very affordable and many of us are transplants from San Francisco who couldn't afford to live there. The commute is a breeze too...there is a San Leandro BART Station and also an AC Transit bus (that many commuters like better.) Its a great community for all families (the 580 side for sure.) One caveat is if you are looking for top notch schools, San Leandro schools are good, but not "top notch" like you would have out in more affluent suburbs. Not sure if they would be as LGBT friendly though, so its a trade off. Berkeley is another friendly place and easy access to SF,  but almost as expensive as SF.  No sure if you are looking to rent or buy, but an example of the difference in price is a couple thousands of dollars comparing Berkeley and SL. For a family of 4 in Berkeley in a decent neighborhood, except to spend $4,000-$5,000. In SL, about $2,500-$3,500.  (And $3,500 would be a pretty nice, big house.) Buying about the same difference in prices.

    Nov 23, 2016

    Northern Marin (Novato, San Rafael, Santa Venetia) have good schools, lots of greenery, and lots of transit options to San Francisco. I don't know of a huge LGBT community, but people here are pretty tolerant of all kinds of diversity, very live-and-let-live.

    Nov 23, 2016

    I recommend Berkeley. It's less expensive than SF and lots of LGBT pride. Welcome to town.

    Nov 23, 2016

    Oakland has many lesbian and gay families--I think it's where San Francisco couples move when they start a family (I don't know if it's because they find SF not kid friendly or if it is just a matter of rental prices). The Lakeshore Area, in particular seems to have many LGBT families (we knew a half dozen or more at my daughter's preschool on Lakeshore). The areas zoned for Crocker Highlands or Glenview elementary schools and Edna Brewer middle school would be good choices. The commute to SF isn't bad by Bay Area standards, and there's also casual carpool available from the Grand-Lake area (drivers commuting to SF pick up passengers so that they can avail themselves of carpool lanes). I believe there's also a trans-bay bus that serves the area.

    Nov 24, 2016

    First of all, do you know about Montclair?  It has been "ground zero" for Lesbian couples for a couple of decades now.  However, Montclair (a) is not well-situated for commuting to San Francisco (compared to the other areas suggested), and (b) I doubt whether it's very diverse.

    I'm mostly writing, however, to clear up some errors in the response to you by "anonymous" that starts "We moved to Albany...." She writes: "We were looking at Berkeley originally, but had concerns about middle school, as we have a child of color, and I think Berkeley has a lottery system."

    WRONG!  Berkeley does NOT have a lottery system for middle schools!  (The lottery system applies only to the "small schools" that exist -- not geographically, but only in terms of classroom and focus -- on Berkeley High campus.)

    "Anonymous" also wrote: "We also didn't know how our son would do in Berkeley High School, which has over 5000 students, as opposed to Albany which has about 1500." 

    WRONG AGAIN! To quote from their website: "Berkeley High School is a comprehensive four-year school serving approximately 3300 students. BHS is unique in that it is the only public high school in a community of over 100,000. Drawing from a diverse racial, ethnic and socioeconomic status, the student population embraces a broad spectrum of people and ideas."

    Finally she writes: "[O]ur Albany community is not as diverse as we thought it would be."

    RIGHT!  Albany is not nearly as diverse as Berkeley.  That's a well-known fact.  

    FYI, I have been volunteering at Martin Luther King, Jr. Middle School (in North Berkeley) for six years now, and you could not hope to find a more diverse student body.  The percentage of children of color at "King" (as it's called) is very high relative to the population of California as a whole. And the quality of the support staff is out of this world!  We adopted a child from out of State who recently attended King during 7th and 8th grades, and in my opinion the level of attention and support she received was commensurate with that of any private school, anywhere.

    As another "Anonymous" wrote, "Welcome to town!"

    P.S.  Back in the 80s, Berkeley was home to two fantastic Lesbian owned-and-operated businesses:  the Brick Hut Café and Vivoli's gelateria.  Sadly, both are gone, but that should give you some idea of Lesbian history in Berkeley.

    Dec 3, 2016

    Hi,

    I also just want to add that if you are coming from anywhere except Boston or New York, you will likely be surprised by the sheer number of LGBT people in the Bay Area.  We are everywhere.  My partner and I live with our two kids in Lafayette, which is an East Bay suburb.  It's not very ethnically diverse or socioeconomically diverse, but we wanted a safe place for our kids and we wanted to be close to my aging parents.  We moved in expecting to perhaps encounter some homophobia, but instead discovered two other LGBT couples live within a handful of houses.  Our kids attend a preschool here that is extremely LGBT-positive and there are many kids there who have two moms or two dads (or other out-of-the-norm arrangements).  All of which is to say, the Bay Area is really a unique place in the sense of the sheer number of LGBT folks.  Of course, some areas are more liberal than others, and some areas have more LGBT people than others, but overall, I would say, look for the place you want to live for other reasons (location, traffic, finances, public transportation, etc) and you can generally expect that it will at least be reasonably LGBT-family-friendly.

    Dec 7, 2016

  • Gay-friendly, diverse, low crime, under $750k near Berkeley

    –
    Sep 30, 2016

    Me and my family are relocating to California, July of 2017. We are both business graduates, so we're looking to find work within three months of moving. We plan on buying a house (500k to 750k) and finding a wonderful charter school near Berkeley. We were told is Berkeley is gay friendly. We have been searching but several places that many be affordable, are showing high crime. We are also SERIOUSLY looking for diversity. Any suggestions??

    Sep 30, 2016

    Diversity?  Absolutely NOT a problem. Housing for $500,00 - $750,000, not so much, especially in Berkeley. Housing near (above) the upper end of your price bracket will likely get you a house in a rather "meh" neighborhood, both crime and school-wise. The Richmond Annex just possibly, but you'd then have to be able to afford private school ($20,00 - $35,000 / year). Best of luck. 

    Oct 5, 2016

    Hi there, when you are moving to such a highly populated area there is always going to be crime issues. While Oakland is known to be one of the worse cities for crime in the US, there are VERY nice areas of Oakland. We lived in El Cerrito and we loved it. "The hills" are really nice and the area is really safe. It gets looked over because it's close to Richmond but we never had any issues there. I suggest renting before buying so you can get an idea of the areas if you are completely new to SFBA.

    Oct 5, 2016

    Please consider checking out Alameda! The west end in particular is more affordable, and you will get a great neighborhood, low crime, and wonderful, diverse charter schools. We commute from the opposite end of Alameda to one of them - Nea. The school is great, the administration is great, and you will not find a more accepting community of kids and adults from as many backgrounds as you can think of. Good luck with your move!

    Oct 5, 2016

    I recommend Alameda or San Leandro!  Alameda isn't exactly affordable, but it's very safe.  San Leandro is more affordable, diverse and lower crime in general than Berkeley and Oakland.  Feel free to contact me with any questions as I've lived in both places and I'm happy to share my experiences.

    Oct 5, 2016

    If you want affordable, forget Berkeley. Take a look at East Richmond Heights, which is gay-friendly, has homes in your price range, and doesn't have high crime rates.

    I'm a little taken aback, however, that you are specifically and exclusively looking for charter schools, however. Our public schools are very, very good, and our district (West Contra County) as well as the districts in Oakland and Berkeley are suffering greatly from an influx of charter schools with poor oversight and no transparency. I would enthusiastically encourage you to look at the public schools in the area, taking tours and talking to parents, before writing them off. There is zero reason for you to reject the great schools we have for you.

    Oct 5, 2016

    Redwood Heights Neighborhood in Oakland is very LGBTQ friendly, although home prices are always going up.  Great elementary school and acceptable middle school.  

    Oct 5, 2016

    You are going to be very hard pressed to find a house in your price range in the Berkeley/Oakland area with lower crime rates (condo options may exist however). Single family homes at those prices don't exist here. It's hard to tell from your post how big your family is, but if you have children and 2 working parents, want diversity (not sure if you mean cultural or economic), lowish crime rates (the perception of what "lowish" is varies by person), and can only afford a $500-$750K house (and you really want a house) you're going to have a hard time checking all those boxes in Berkeley or Oakland. Either start thinking condos (maybe you can get a 2BR condo for $750K) or consider other parts of the country. 

    Oct 5, 2016

    HERCULES, CA, no question about it! I've lived in Hercules for over 25 years. My kids were born here and grew up here. Hercules is 10 minutes from Berkeley and very centrally located. About 24 miles from San Francisco and on the corner of Hwy 80 and Hwy 4 that leads to Hwy 680, so very close to Concord, Walnut Creek etc.

    Hercules is very diverse and family friendly. It's affordable with lots of young families moving in. There is no crime and a great community feel. I lived in Marin before and had never heard of Hercules. Once I checked it out, I've never left.

    Oct 5, 2016

    You won't be able to find a house in Berkeley for under 750K. But Berkeley is definitely not the only gay-friendly city here.  The entire Bay Area is the most gay-friendly area in the country, maybe even the world. I think most cities within an hour's drive of Berkeley are going to be equally welcoming of same-sex parents. So you should expand your search beyond Berkeley.  

    Regarding diversity, it depends on what you mean. The Bay Area is very diverse with many different cultures and skin colors and languages, much more diverse than the rest of the US. Yes, there are suburbs here that are mostly white, and there are neighborhoods in the bigger cities that have a majority of this culture or that one. But in general it's pretty diverse. 

    Not sure why you are only interested in a charter school. Some cities like Berkeley and Albany have zero charter schools. Other cities like Oakland have a lot.  Some charter schools have a great reputation, some don't. There are quite a few good public schools in most all of the East Bay cities so you should keep your options open on that.

    Oct 5, 2016

    San Leandro! 

    Affordable, up and coming (new technology growth), centrally located, BART stations handy, great library, great city which really pays off if/when you need to get a permit or help (we took the awesome seismic retrofit class at the city and then retrofitted our home), gay friendly, diverse (http://www.sanleandro.org/about/demographics.asp), safe with a fabulous police force that is fast, responsive, and positive (https://www.neighborhoodscout.com/ca/san-leandro/crime/) if/when you need them, quiet, friendly, and more. We were looking for a town where people smiled and said hello when you walk by, and found it in San Leandro. Loving it here. 

    Oct 5, 2016

    Yep, I suggest Hayward. Diverse, welcoming, and cheap. 30 minutes from Berkeley if you live near 580. The crime rates might look bad on paper (I live here, but I don't look), but there are many safe neighborhoods, so you can get a better feel for that by asking neighbors when you househunt. Check us out!

    Oct 6, 2016

    Hi there!

    It's great you're posting here as hopefully you will learn more about the area to help you make your decision. From your question, you can tell you aren't very familiar yet with the Bay Area.

    First off, you can't buy a house in Berkeley for that price range. The cheapest house you could probably find in Berkeley right now is maybe $850k if you are lucky. And it would be a fixer. You can potentially find that price range as you move further out into certain suburbs (El Sobrante, San Pablo) but you won't really find what you are looking for in terms of the diversity of Berkeley or lower crime.

    Yes Berkeley is gay friendly and diverse. Crime is not high here although looking at crime maps could potentially freak you out if you don't know it I suppose. There is some crime but if you want little to no crime, you need to move to the whiter, wealthier suburbs of Walnut Creek, Lafayette, Danville, much of Marin, etc. Most of the Bay Area is gay friendly, you just might not get racial/ethnic diversity in those places. Personally, diversity is important to me as I would not raise my kids somewhere not diverse. For that reason, Berkeley and Oakland are the only places I would consider.

    Also, there are no charter schools in Berkeley. Berkeley public schools are great and the majority of people I know send their kids to them.

    Oct 6, 2016

    I'm reading the responses and seeing the one that says that you'll have to pay for private school if you buy in the Richmond Annex. That's not true. The Annex is zoned for WCCUSD schools, exactly the same schools as the kids in Kensington and the El Cerrito Hills go. Fairmont has a very strong parent community and the kids really like going there. Then all kids in the district go to Korematsu middle school and El Cerrito high school. I love the Annex. It's really walkable and friendly. I would definitely choose the part of the Annex that's on the east side of highway 80 though. The other side is much more sketchy with parking issues. Plus it's a lot harder to walk anywhere. My friend who lives in the Annex walks her kids to Fairmont in the morning and then walks to BART to go to work. She really likes it.

    Oct 12, 2016

    We live in West Contra Costa County (Pinole) and love it! While I don't know specifically about LGBT resources here, our area definitely meets your other criteria (diverse, low crime and affordable). We moved here 3 years ago and when we moved in, our neighbor across the street told my husband about how he and his wife had had their house broken into! ...in 1975. A big change from where we were living in Oakland.

    We are a white family; our neighbors are white, black, Hispanic, East and South Asian. El Sobrante (the next municipality over) has a huge Punjabi-speaking community because it is the home of the only Sikh house of worship in the East Bay. The elementary school around the corner from our house is 40% white, 40% Hispanic, 10% Asian and 10% black. If I walk in one direction from the bottom of our street, I can get to the library, Trader Joe's and Peet's Coffee within a mile; in the other direction, I pass horses and cows.

    There isn't a whole lot of "culture" here yet, but that is changing rapidly (gentrification, for better and worse, as people get priced out of Berkeley/Oakland) -- and we are only 20 minutes from downtown Berkeley outside of rush hour. I'd definitely encourage you to look at West County -- am happy to give more info if you want to contact me directly.

    Oct 12, 2016

     The neighborhood public school, Fairmont, is just fine. We go there; it is zoned for Richmond Annex and part of El Cerrito, very diverse demographics (and some gay families, since you note you are looking for gay-friendly). Fairmont is in fact the most racially diverse school in the West Contra Costa school district. And as other posters noted, Richmond Annex is a nice little neighborhood with some very cute houses.

    Oct 12, 2016

Archived Q&A and Reviews

Questions  

Gay couples in Lamorinda area

May 2011

We've just moved to Moraga with our baby and are hoping to find some other progressive kid-toting folks. Are there other gay parents out here? We're wondering... Suggestions to meet people would be great. Moraga Mom

Welcome to Lamorinda! We are a two dad family with two toddler girls living in Orinda. We moved here a year and a half ago and love it. There is another two dad family that we met a few months back. We haven't met any two mom families but we know they are here! Most of our LGBT friends live on the other side of the tunnel - but several of them are interested in moving this way. It's a really great area to live. Please feel free to email and perhaps we can get a local group going. Roger

Sad to say, I don't know many (any?) gay parents in Lamorinda. (Way different from when we lived in Oakland.) I do know a few gay kids, and pretty much everyone I know is progressive, but that could just be due to the people I choose to associate with. I know not everyone out here is progressive. As far as meeting people goes, I'd go the usual route, depending on how old your kids are: the park, schools, sports, drama, getting involved in local organizations, etc. You didn't mention how old your kids are, or I might be able to make more specific recommendations. Mary

Hi. I live in Moraga and have known a 2 Mom family for six years. Their twins are in the same grade as my daughter and are busy with sports, scouts, etc. I can't speak for them but they seem to enjoy living in the area. Good luck! Cindy Hello, We are a lesbian family with 2 boys (16 + 12 yrs) who have lived in Lafayette for 11 years!! We love it - there are numerous gay families in Lafayette with children ranging in age from 3 yrs (that we know of!)to now heading off to college. The schools required a little educating when we first moved to Lafayette - remembering our son had 2 moms on mothers day, changing emergency forms to gender neutral, little details that you won't have to worry about if you move here now!! Our boys have been involved in various sports, us parents volunteering in the schools with no visible, negative comments/behaviors. Our youngest did experience a little homophobia when at one of the elementary schools when prop 8 was in full swing. Staff were a little shocked it was happening and unsure what to do regarding the situation at first - they eventually came through with the appropriate consequences!!

Our oldest in high school feels quite safe - no complaints of teasing/slurs but then he's grown up with most of the kids and it's no big deal. I hope middle school will show the same respect for our youngest! You won't regret moving here - but you may regret not moving here!!

 

Moving to SF - Gay-friendly family neighborhood with easy commute?

Sept 2009

My family is relocating to San Francisco from NYC in the fall. We wanted to live in Berkeley, but just found out that my partner will have to commute to Palo Alto at least once a week and will work daily in the SF financial district. I'll be staying at home with our 18 month old until I can find work, so I'd really like a neighborhood where I can easily connect with other families, get involved with the community and have access to nice playgrounds/parks. The only area that we've heard about consistently is Noe Valley, but it seems a bit pricey and not too much space for the $$. Need to be within reasonable commuting distance (45 mins tops w/ traffic) from SF financial dist. Any suggestions would be very helpful. NYtoSF

Check out the Bernal Heights neighborhood in San Francisco. Cheaper than Noe and lots of Lesbian families/couples. Very family oriented too -- lots of kids activities, beautiful playground/park, story and music time at local cafes, lovely library, etc. Love our gay-friendly city

Montclair (neighborhood in Oakland) is said to have a high concentration of gays/lesbians-- not like the Castro, but some study, probably of census data, said that. anon

My wife and I moved just about a year ago from the Valley to the Bay Area. We really wanted to live in the City (Sn Fran), but found it was just to pricey. It also did not afford the opportunity to have a nice yard as well as living in a small area for more than I was willing to pay.

We like in the Emeryville/Oakland area. (We bought a house), it's a nice late 1920s California Bungalow and it great condition. There was no way we could get something like that in the Bay Area for a reasonable price. My wife works in the City and I work in UCB. Her commute is short and the location of the BART is perfect.

Where ever you choose- do not drive to the City- use BART. http://www.bart.gov/ look into the Translink Card. You can utilize if for all the forms of transporation.

Go onto Google Earth and look at the locations- include schools, grocery, public trasportation etc. Zack

Live in the East Bay and take BART to work in the financial district. Oakland, Berkeley and Albany are all wonderful places to live and waaaaaaay more affordable than SF. You'll get more room and much better weather in the East Bay. Albany has terrific public schools (one middle and one high school - it is it's own school district), Oakland is historic and very diverse (as is most of the East Bay)and may have more of the urban feel you desire (ask on this forum for recommendations for specific neighborhoods). Berkeley is well, Berkeley - great neighborhoods, great weather, parks, SUPER restaurants, a wonderful farmer's market...etc. SF is just over the bridge

Have you thought of the Rockridge area of Oakland? It's a family friendly and gay friendly, diverse neighborhood. There are a variety of schools to choose from. Commute to the city is very easy during non-rush times--about 25 minutes--while it's a little more like 45-50 minutes during rush hour. Rockridge BART station has trains to the city every 15-20 minutes. Oakland has a bad rep for crime, but the city is large and crime seems to be more localized to certain areas. Prices may be similar to Noe Valley but you get lots more room for your money, since most houses have yards... and beautiful yards at that. Besides, I'm a gay man, I live here, and I love it! Rockridge hound

I'd like to put in a good word for Oakland. Oakland, or so I have read, is home to more lesbian couples per capita than any other major city. My daughter went to preschool with kids from both lesbian and gay families, who were a welcomed and appreciated part of the school community.

I think that Oakland's popularity is due to the family/affordability issue. San Francisco is fabulous, but a lot of people find that as their family grows, they don't get enough bang for their buck there, particularly if you want to buy. The Oakland school district is spotty, but not as bad as it is often made out to be (my daughter just started kindergarten at an Oakland school). Some good schools in affordable neighborhoods are Glenview, Sequoia, Cleveland, and Crocker Highlands.

I can get to the financial district from my Oakland house in 12 min on a Sunday morning (no traffic) or 45 minutes in traffic. There's also BART (subway) and ferry service).

Here are a couple of articles about gay/lesbian Oakland: http://oaklandnorth.net/2009/06/24/oakland-%E2%80%93-a-city-many- women-call-home/ http://x3.com/NewsArticles/GayOakland/GayOakland.html Carrie

Well your partner could easily commute on BART to downtown SF from Berkeley under 45 minutes, but that Palo Alto day would be 'trying'. Yes, Noe Valley is fantastic, I rented there for several years, but the prices have gone crazy. Probably the same is true for the Castro and Eureka Valley (which are right next door), but then it depends on your money. You might try Bernal Heights. It's gay friendly, about 8 minutes from Noe Valley (if that) and its main drag, Cortland Ave, has turned into quite the place for food and hanging out. Also VERY dog friendly. There is also Potreto Hill at the other end of the Mission....and then there is the Mission. The Mission connects with Noe Valley and has some wonderful homes, as does most of the city. It does have its areas that 'might not be so safe', but again, it depends where you are at. The outer communities like the Sunset and Richmond are alright. Inner Sunset, which is next to Golden Gate Park is friendly, the outer Sunset a tad more conservative, as is the Richmond, of course they are close to the ocean, but also get that fog. Lastly, there is the Haight, a very mix and match area, some areas delightful, others 'less' delightful. San Franciscos a great town, but you might want to vist and take the BART ride and see if its doable. Ex-SF, now East Bay

It is probably faster to take bart from the east bay to sf than to go from noe valley by car or public transit. so stick with berkeley, or oakland. the noe valley of oakland is rockridge. anon

Commuting to the financial district from Berkeley is actually quite easy, and depending on where your start from takes about 35 min on BART, a bit longer on a commuter bus. Palo Alto is another matter -- it takes 45 min if there's no traffic, but can take up to 1-1/2 hours. In SF, you might want to look at Glen Park -- more friendly than Noe Valley. San Francisco has a very complex school assignment policy, so you should research that before choosing where to look. There are many lesbian families with children in Berkeley and Oakland, and a few gay male families with children. anon

Bernal Heights is a great neighborhood. There are LOTS of moms, gay and straight. Look at the website for Bernal Hill Realty. It tells a lot about the neighborhood. I live in the East Bay now. There are a lot of lesbians in Oakland and Berkeley. It would take about an hr. to get to Palo Alto, but if you hop on the BART it would take only about 15 minutes to get to the Financial District. Good luck.

Gay dads considering a move to Orinda/Layfayette

June 2003

We are two gay dads with a 1 1/2 year old living in Berkeley. We are considering moving to the Orinda/Layfayette area for the quality of the public schools, but are concerned about how our child might be treated as a child of gay parents when he gets into school. Does anybody have a sense of what we and our little boy might experience out there? 
Concerned parents

I live in Orinda and still struggle to find my place in this land of conservative wealth. However, my neighbors are a lesbian couple with 3 boys 9, 13 and 14. They moved from Oakland to here about 10 years ago and are very happy and at home. The kids seem like nice well adjusted kids who have told me nice things about the schools. My general feeling is that any discrimination would not be overt (if thats of comfort?) and plenty of perfectly accepting folks too. Nowhere else is going to have the level of diversity and acceptance that Berkely has. But one can't just hole up in Berkely forever. Christina

Hi Gay Dads! 
Yes, come on out. We are a lesbian couple who have lived in Lafayette for 3 years now. We have 2 boys, one almost 9 years (next week) the other almost 5 years. We moved from NYC, rented in Richmond for a year and toured the East Bay. Found Lafayette and fell in love. Our neighbors are great, we are always trading off children, pets and helping each other out as any other neighbor would. The schools have been great. Not the diversity of Berkeley/Oakland but for us that wasn't our #1 piority. You will find more ethnic/family/economic diversity in the downtown school then any other and also the one middle school in Lafayette. The teachers have been great (not perfect, but who is?). We speak to them at the beginning of the school year. We have spoken with our Principal about the forms from the district not being gender neutral and they are working on that. There have been no negative incidents at the school or anywhere else where people know us. I work at the local community center (coaching gymnastics) and certainly don't advertise my sexuality but when asked about my children and spouse I tell them and everyone is cool about it.

We live near the trail so the children get to bike, walk, scooter etc. to school. We love running so it's the perfect location for us and also walking to downtown. It's great. There are pools all over you can belong to. Our boys play on the soccer, baseball, hockey, and swim teams (yes we drive a minivan!) and no one bats an eyelid to our family make-up.

There are another couple of Lesbian families here and in Moraga and tons in Walnut Creek/Concord/Pleasant Hill. Actually there is a fairly new group (for us families thru the tunnel) called Rainbow Families that meet once or twice a month with the kids in different areas for pizza etc. Last month everyone came to Freddies in Lafayette. The group has many two Dad/single families from 'thru the tunnel' as well.

I can't speak for Orinda but we did also look there and found it quite a bit hillier and all we could think about was ''Gee, how do these people make it up their driveways when it snows''??

Phew, I went on a bit but we really do love Lafayette and would just love more gay and lesbian families to come out here. We actually found it cheaper then living in Berkeley/Oakland and got more for our money. feel free to e-mail us if you want any more info or would like to come out to visit and we can show you the neighborhood! We can also recommend a great real estate broker who's a Gay Dad from Alamo. Good Luck. 
lesbians loving Lafayette

I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but I grew up in Lafayette & went to public schools there & I now live in Berkeley. I found the atmosphere to be pretty unappealing. The majority of the families were upper-middle class & there was very little in the way of diversity (racial or otherwise). The social scene, even in elementary school was quite intense with heavy doses of teasing for wearing the wrong attire, parents who had manual labor jobs or failing to vacation in the right places. High School intensified those areas of focus and added the element of drugs and cars (many of the kids drive BMW, Mercedes, Audi, etc). I remember my parents being shocked when, a guy on my swim team OD'd on Coke ... they really believed that because the kids were all well dressed, had money & nice homes - that drugs weren't an issue. Even though I did sports, had a nice group of friends & endured relatively little of the social harassment, I still found the social pressure to be a real turn-off.

I'm sure there are some differences than there were 10 years ago, but not that many. I'm a therapist now and I occassionally see kids who go to Acalanes (high school) & the stories they bring to therapy sound pretty similar to what I witnessed when I went to school there. 
Lafayette School System Survivor

We recently made the move to Orinda and are really happy with our decision. Most our neighbors introduced themselves and didn't seem too phased that we are a household of two moms and a kid. There are many Cal alums in the area, so I think its not as conservative as one thinks..especially as there is turnover (the saying is people leave their houses feet first) and a younger crowd moves in. We find ourselves spending more time outside because the weather is nicer, which is good for our son. We also don't worry as much, if at all, about crime, so if we forget to close the garage door or lock the car, its not a big deal. Also, the level of customer service in the stores is great, maybe because they are use to dealing with the senior set, but still, its refreshing. There are great parks in both Orinda and Moraga for the kids and free concerts in the parks over the summer. Feel free to email me if you want more info!

Lesbian Family moving to Albany

May 2003

We are a multiracial lesbian family thinking of moving from Berkeley to Albany. We wanted to know what people thought of living in Albany in terms of raising kids in a progressive environment. We know it is close to Berkeley but sometimes, a few blocks can even make a difference, so we thought we would check it out with folks to be sure. Specifically, we want to know about the positive or negative experiences of families of color or lesbian/gay parents raising kids in Albany both in terms of the schools and the neighborhoods. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks! 
thinking of moving

Living in Albany is great! We are a lesbian couple expecting our first child in June -- I am black and jewish and my partner is white and jewish. My adopted little sister (who, by the way, is from Liberia) lived with me and my former partner for two years when she was seven to nine years old, and attended Cornell School on Talbot. I don't believe any of us ever experienced any kind of problem related to our race(s), religion(s) or our ''family configuration,'' shall we say. My sister had friends from all kinds of family backgrounds -- straight, gay, all ethnicities, socioeconomic backgrounds, religions and political affiliations -- there were no problems that I recall. We were just like any other family. Oh, and we moved to Albany from Berkeley, too. Is Albany as progressive as Berkeley? Is any city as progressive as Berkeley? Feel free to email if you want to discuss it further. 
Nokl

Albany is less diverse than Berkeley, that's for sure. But it isn't any less tolerant of all kinds of families, as far as I (a straight white married mom) can tell having lived both places. Albany is a fantastic town for raising kids no matter what kind of parent(s) they have. My own block (on Santa Fe) seems to be mostly white married couples but there is one lesbian couple with a preschooler (both parents look white, daughter looks Asian), and I have friends who used to live on Evelyn and they told us that nearly every house on their block was occupied by either a lesbian couple or an interracial couple (the latter of which they were one)! 
Holly

For what it's worth, I know of *at least* three same-sex couples (two with small children) on Evelyn St. in Albany. (I don't know them personally, but since my daycare lady is on Evelyn we wave hello a lot) Albany in general is a tolerant, friendly, walkable, community-oriented place with great public schools. Come on over! 
mom of two in Albany

There are many multi-ethnic families. I don't know any families heades by gay/lesbian parents. This is not to say there aren't any; I just don't know of them. However, I think Berkeley is more ''diverse'' in this respect. A good thing about AUSD ( http://www.albany.k12.ca.us/ ) is very good community support, an important thing considering the CA budget crisis. Albany's SchoolCare ( http://www.albanyschoolcare.org ) asks that parents donate $480 per child per year to preserve school classes and programs (I bet Berkeley is similar?) AMS just got a distinguished school designation. 
good luck in your decision

We're lesbian moms who have lived in Albany with our two kids for the past three years and love it! We know two other lesbian families in the immediate neighborhood, and our experiences with neighbors, schools, etc. have been great. Feel free to email us if you want more info. Kristin