Borderline Personality Disorder

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• Therapist specializing in borderline disorder?
• Young Adult Son Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder
• Specialist to help with family member's borderline personality disorder
• Dealing with my mom who has Borderline Personality Disorder
• Borderline Personality Specialist
• I think I developed Borderline Personality Disorder after I had children

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Therapist specializing in borderline disorder?

Jan 2016

After a lifetime of trying to understand the often-bizarre, alienating and hurtful behavior of my mom, I finally learned about 'quiet' borderline personality disorder - and lo and behold, fits her to a T. I've had loads of therapy, mostly in my twenties (I'm 40 now) but now that I have my own young daughter I would like to return to therapy to make sure I don't continue this terrible cycle.

Can anyone recommend a therapist who specializes in BPD? Or perhaps personality disorders in general? I know they are notoriously difficult/impossible to treat, so perhaps finding someone who specializes in them is a tough call, but - can't hurt to ask. Either East Bay or San Francisco names would be welcome. Thank you! Hoping to do better

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John Bieda is a Marriage and Family Therapist that practices dialectic behavioral therapy out of his Emeryville, Walnut Creek, and Concord offices. He has 10+ years experience working with the chronically mentally ill and their family members. His extensive work with people with borderline personality disorder has contributed not only to helping the sufferer, but also their family. John has helped me tremendisly in understanding my chronic mental illness and using the DBT skills he has taught me, I have made great strides in overcoming some of the many obstacles I face.

www.BayAreaTherapyGroup.com (415)254-8203 A Healing Client

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Young Adult Son Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder

Jan 2015

I am wondering if anyone has feedback/experience regarding Borderline Personality Disorder and/or how to deal with a love one who has this? My 28 year old son has just been diagnosed with BPD (he is married with an infant). I was always very worried about his behavior, very loving, very kind one minute and then very temperamental, quick to anger, just extreme emotions all around. I was very relieved to finally have an understanding of what is going on with him. I've read just about everything there is that describes the disorder, but still need help on handling his anger episodes, which really scare me and makes me so sad. I think I am getting too stressed out trying to deal with this, even though I know its not really directed at me but one of his episodes. I am going to start counseling but just want to see what others have experienced or dealt with this. Thanks Concerned Mom

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BPD is a wide ranging definition from what I have studied and seems to be a catch-all phrase used when a distinct ailment cannot be identified. Take a look at the definitions of IED- Intermittent Explosive Disorder and also ODD- Oppositional Defiant Disorder. More disorders I know but perhaps one will help focus in a little closer on treatment. ODD in adults has no known treatment. anon

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My husband has it also. It is impossible to deal with without medication for him and support for you and his spouse. It's essentially manic depression with the entire cycle occurring within a day. At its worst, several cycles per day with suicidal tendencies. He needs a psychiatrist who has experience with patients with it to work to find the right mix of medications that will work without making him feel groggy or make his mood swings worse. These are not ''1 size fits all'' regimes. Trial and error may be necessary. It's probably not surprising that a lot of these patients abuse alcohol and drugs in search for relief. You and his partner will also need support because it it extremely difficult to separate your feelings of hurt from what the disease is saying during the anger phase. I found al-anon extremely helpful. Know that he probably won't even remember what it says. it will get better

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I highly recommend the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill's Family to Family program. I can't overstate how great this program is. I have recommended it here on BPN many times. It is a free 12-week program (1x/week, 2.5 hours) designed for people whose loved ones have mental illness. It is taught by trained people who also have mental illness, and they follow a national curriculum very closely. You will learn a lot about mental illness and coping strategies among supportive people going through what you are. Your son's spouse should attend also (in the same group as you or not), IMHO. S/he would benefit the most. Most counties have a NAMI chapter, and I encourage people to shop around for the Family to Family program that meets at times convenient for you. For example, I went to a neighboring county's program because the meeting was Monday nights, the night my daughter was at her father's house. good luck and best wishes

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My mother and sister are borderline and I have a friend who's mother is also borderline. Does your son accept his diagnosis? If so, things can really work out to be quite good. The main thing is they tend to over react to the world around them. If you can get them in treatment with a quality therapist they can teach them the tools to work with their own over reactions to the world around them. Basically, they are trained to work through a ''work sheet'' before reacting to any situation. The ''work sheet'' helps them see if it is their own reaction that is out of scale or if the situation warrants a large reaction. I think they're called dialectical behavior therapy worksheets. With the support and understanding of the people around him, and his own work, it can all be ok. As a side, borderlines tend to be raised in a family where one parent or close person in their life is also borderline, so that might be worth looking into so everybody is getting help. I'm hopeful that your son can get help before he passes this on to his own child. -It might all be ok

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Sorry to hear you are suffering from the consequences of your son having BPD. I have witnessed some of these consequences in the process of supporting a loved one through a nasty divorce and custody dispute with an ex- who also suffers from a personality disorder (narcissistic personality disorder, with borderline traits). We have found Bill Eddy to be an invaluable resource, both in elucidating the psychology at play, as well as offering constructive strategies for communication: http://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Wishing you strength Anon

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Having a family member with Borderline Personality Disorder can be so hard! I'm glad to hear it sounds like he's working with someone. Dialectical Behavior Therapy can be extremely helpful!! I'm glad to hear you're getting help as well! You're right, it's difficult to know what to do or how to respond and it can be really confusing and easy to take things personally, even when you know it's not about you. I recommend: "Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder" by Shari Manning Jennifer

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I highly recommend ''When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness: A Handbook for Family, Friends, and Caregivers'' by Rebecca Woolis, MFT. Rebecca has a private practice in Berkeley. One of her primary areas of specialization involves major psychiatric disorders. She has been working with individuals, couples and families for more than thirty years. Julie

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There's a good book from a few years ago called ''Walking On Eggshells'' that addresses this disorder. I have encoountered a number of individuals with BPD. If it is someone one meets casually, one can just pull away from them. Not so when it is one's adult child. My heart goes out to you. Wishing you the best. Armchair psychologist

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I'd start with research: BPD is frightening, overwhelming, and can seem impossible to deal with for those living with a loved one with this diagnosis. Arming yourself with knowledge of this personality disorder can help you increase your understanding of your son's situation as well as your own. If your son is willing to do what it takes, there are people who successfully recover from BPD, like Dr. Marsha Linehan, the therapist who created dialectical behavioral therapy(DBT), the best theraputic modality available for treating BPD. I recommend you read up on Dr. Linehan's story, for hope and inspiration. Then begin with www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com as well as another website, www.bpdfamily.com which will direct you to further resources. Over all BPD is a very different, difficult disorder to treat and prognosis is often poor, but with a motivated patient/consumer and a support system equally motivated to address their role in the person's life and issues as well as their own, there can be real improvement. I've seen it happen from time to time, so don't lose hope. Psych Nurse Dad

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I'm dealing with a 48 yr. old daughter who hasn't been diagnosed with BPD or any mental illness. She has medical problems & I'm surprised none of her drs. picked up on her behaviors, or if they have, then she'd change drs. As I've read in ''Walking on Eggshells'', there is an ability to be in control & ''pass'' as needed - an attribute of a behavior of BPD. I've been to therapy to learn how to distance myself, because this illness causes pain to families & can be similar to a drug addict or alcoholic who won't admit to the problem. In my own treatment, as I was describing why I was there, & the problems I was having with my daughter, my dr. said, ''though he hasn't personally seen my daughter, what I'm describing is classic BPD''. Then reading books & online info., indeed I now see what I've been dealing with, or what we as a family have been dealing with most of her life. I'm really sorry that I've nothing to tell you that may help you. The main thing though, in my readings, is they do say that the only treatments for BPD, are to treat the individual problems within BPD - depression, eating disorders, suicidal problems or emergencies etc., anger management, addictions of any sort, guilting someone to enable them. Also, I've read that for family members, the most important thing is to take care of yourselves & NOT to be ''taken in'' - to guard yourself as if a ''user'' who won't quit, is amongst you. I can't imagine what your daughter in law & your Grandchild is going through? I'm RIGHT NOW in the midst of a major episode & I'm trying not to be manipulated. My daughter has lost everything - her place to live (she now lives in someones garage) - she's lost all but 8 hrs. a months of seeing her 2 kids, my Grandchildren, she has no work, she's managed to get into a money market acct. of mine & taken $10K - which has entirely disappeared very quickly. I'm sorry for anyone having to go through this, both the person with BPD & for anyone involved with them. I realize that this posting may sound like I'm very judgmental to the problem - far,far from it. Drs. say this is a most difficult mental illness to treat. I wish the best for you & yours. You're certainly doing the very right thing in going to therapy for yourself.

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Specialist to help with family member's borderline personality disorder

Aug 2010

looking for help coping w/ family member with suspected personality disorder. i've had some good advice but prefer to find someone good who understands the nuances. there are many. with much appreciation~ compassionate warrior

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I would recommend Kirsten Beuthin, as she specializes in personality disorders, who was able to help us with our daughter. We were initially referred by someone who had seen her about the same sort of thing. She's in San Francisco and Oakland 510-652-0990 and 415-401-7180. been there

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Dealing with my mom who has Borderline Personality Disorder

Sept 2009

I am six months pregnant with a one year old child and looking for a bay area support group for children of mothers or parents with Borderline Personality Disorder. I have a degree in psychology and was in private therapy for ten years to help me cope with the results of my dysfunctional attachment, anxiety and loneliness. I have for the most part come to terms with my childhood abuse and am in a loving stable marriage. What I need now is support in managing my relationship with my mother who wants to be increasingly involved in my life now that I have children. I have read many posts from people dealing with similar situations but nothing addressing ongoing structured group support. I am an emotional wreck this week because of yet another lashing out by her and while I want to sever our relationship forever, it is not an option. She is not physically well off and I fear she will not be alive for more than another year. I really want to be compassionate and patient with her because I know she is psychologically ill but it is so complicated. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

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Hi, I would highly recommend Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona. She worked last year with a friend of mine who was diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder and my friend had/has a great experience. I was able to see a lot of life changes. I know that one of Dr. Zurita's specialization's is working with BPD or whoever is affected by t his condition. I think you can check her on www.eastbaytherapycenter.com Hope this helps, Emily

 

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Borderline Personality Specialist

Sept 2008

I am looking for a therapist in the East Bay that specializes in Borderline Personality Disorder. Or at the very least, someone with a substantial number of years experience treating Personality Disorders in general. Any referrals shared would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

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Kirsten Beuthin specializes in working with personality disorders, and she can be reached at 510-652-0990 or 415-401-7180. She's an exceptional therapist. Best wishes. anonymous

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Emily Johnson, LCSW is a wonderful clinician generally, and one of few colleagues I confidently refer to when looking for a therapist to work with Borderline Personality Disorder. Emily is very bright and skillful while also having a personable and straightforward style. Her office is in Rockridge and phone number is 510-601-0734. Best of luck-

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I think I developed Borderline Personality Disorder after I had children

May 2007

I think I have borderline personality disorder, but only since I have had my children. Is this possible? Does anyone have experience with BPD? I am currently on anti- depressants, but they dont' seem to help my anxiety and bouts of rage. I also have suicidal feelings, but all of this began after I had my first child, then got worse with my second. You are probably thinking ''Why doesn't she go to a psychiatrist?'' I have, many times, but they all seem stumped. One dr did think I was bi-polar but said I probably wasn't if I wasn't obsessed with sex and that I slept okay. I have not been able to find a psychiatrist that could really work with me, more just wanting to medicate me.

Any ideas would help. I could afford to pay for a private psychiatrist or maybe some good psychotherapy. I currently have Kaiser. anon

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I would say you should definitely try and meet with someone who has expertise in the area of post-partum depression. Anon

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Personality disorders are apparent from early adulthood and usually characteristics or symptoms would have been apparent since your teen-aged years, so my short answer, from what you have mentioned, is probably not. BPD overlaps some of what you are experiencing, I would describe BPD as a pervasive way of being/ reacting in all relationships. It sounds to me like a depression- may have started as post-partum depression and continued on. Bipolar does not mean necessarily that you wouldn't sleep well or be addicted to sex, but there would be periods of manic symptoms of some sort- also it is possible to be in the depressed mode far more than the manic. I do think therapy could be very helpful, and I hope you can find through this list, a psychiatrist who can carefully assess your experience and work with varying medications as needed. Any decent psycho-therapist has had immense training in diagnosing symptoms and should be able to help you find a name for what you are experiencing, and personally I would use a therapist (MFT) for therapy to help deal with the anxiety/ rage, and a psychiatrist for medication management only. also I wonder if a good nutritionist could suggest supplements or dietary shift to support you- as symptoms have started and been worsened after pregnancies/ birth- these are both very depleting to your body and there is probably a supplement (herb, vitamins, minerals,oils?) that would nourish and help balance your body. a former therapist

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Good for you for being willing and able to seek help!

Pregnancy and childbirth hormones (perimenopause and menopausal, too) can activate many disorders, including the whole array of psychiatric. A full and very complete physical must be part of the differential diagnosis to rule out other physical disorders such as thyroid problems (which can mimic any and all psychiatric disorders).

You need a GOOD psychiatrist, not one who is so ignorant as to think that sex obsession and/or poor sleep are the distinguishing characteristics of bi-polar disorder (they can be among them, but not necessarily)!

Medication is a blessing when it's the right medication, but the fact is that it's trial and error when it comes to finding the right one or ones, even with the most skillful practitioner. The important thing is to find a doctor who you trust and communicate well with to undertake that trial and error process.

I have two resources to recommend. The first is Langley-Porter Psychiatric Institute at UCSF. The second is Dr. Jeanne Leventhal at Kaiser Oakland (752-1075 for the appointment desk), who is an expert not only in psych disorders but also in women's hormonal issues.

Psychotherapy is a very excellent idea in combination with psychiatry, and since you can afford private, I'd say pursue that- there are sooo many therapists recommended here, you can start calling and meeting then until you find the person who feels right for you.

It may take you awhile to find the right doctor, therapist, and medication, but there is help out there- persist until you find it! Anon

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I am a licensed psychotherapist and have done some training in post-partum depression/anxiety, etc. I would highly recommend that you see a psychiatrist that specializes in post-partum issues. Phyllis Cedars in Berkeley is excellent, although she is VERY expensive and hard to get into. She may have a referral for you if she can't see you. My other advice is that you find a psychotherapist that can work with on issues having to do with your own family of origin, especially your mother. It may not be the case with you, but usually when a woman becomes symptomatic after having children they usually have some childhood parenting stuff to look at. Lastly, have a good, thorough medical exam just to rule out anything medical going on. I hope that helps Anne

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Women are at the highest risk in their lives of developing a mood or anxiety disorder when they are post-partum. Go see Jeanne Alexander, MD at Kaiser Oakland in the psychiatry dept. She specializes in treating women with anxiety and depression related to reproductive events. You may have Prementrual Dysphoric Disorder which is severe premenstural symptoms that interfer with your functioning accompanied by mood lability and irritability and can include suiciadal thoughts and anxiety. You also could have Bipolar Spectrum Disorder which is between Major Depression and Bipolar Disorder. Common symptoms include depression and/or anxiety/panic associated with symptoms like changes in your sex drive, energy level and impulsivity. Sleep could be normal, increased or decreased. anon psychiatrist

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Hi, Your email really concerned me specially for the emotional safety of your children. I don't believe in medicating oneself through life. Although often times meds maybe bring temporary relief, ultimately it is not a long term solution. I would recommend that you sit with yourself often and feel your rage. Go into it and go deeper to see what is behind it. You may find maybe sadness, anger, dispair, etc. The best thing to do is to sit with the feelings that arise, bring them to light and acknowledge them, and then give yourself the love that you deserve. By this I mean treat yourself with the kindness and care that you probably give to your kids. You have the power to change your life and be all that you want to be. This is an incredible gift and owning this - our very own power takes guts and determination. You can do it. Just be kind, patient, and most of all loving to yourself. If this process is too scary to do alone, find a professional to assist you that has a spiritual dimension (by this I do not mean religion). -Been there, done that

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Sorry to hear about your difficulties. I have thought of a few possibilities that might help... First, you might have hormonal changes that are causing the rage. If this is true, you might want to go to a good acupuncturist. There are lots in the Bay Area.

Second, you might want to learn meditation, that is what helped me a lot with rage and anxiety, I learned it at the Berkeley Shambhala center. Almost every Sunday, and many nights they have meditation instruction. http://www.berkeley.shambhala.org/ If you don't live in Berkeley, there's centers all over the Bay Area, go to Shambhala.org. It's just meditation instruction, for one session, you don't have to sign up for anything, it's not a recruiting technique, and it is free.

Third, you might be repeating the parenting patterns of your mother or father. My SIL is the sweetest woman, but she found herself yelling at her kids, turns out that is what her mother did. Acupuncture, meditation and yoga would all help here.

Finally, It does sound like you have had a series of bad Pschy experiences, but there are good doctors out there. You might want to look on Berkeley Parents, or call UCSF and see if they have a good doctor.

I think parenting is incredibly stressful, and it brings out our worst at times. But it sounds like you are having more than the usual difficulty. I don't know much about BPD, but I would be surprised if motherhood brought it on. I would think it would be a combination of hormones (acupuncture), stress (mediation and acupuncture), and perhaps patterns from your own parents. Sending you a hug

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I'm a psychologist who has worked with both BPD and postpartum mood disorders. I urge to keep looking, to find either a psychiatrist who can help you with meds (they are out there), or a psychologist experienced with the difficulties you describe, or probably both. You will have to go outside the Kaiser system, most likely. There is help out there. For meds try Heather Clague, M.D., office on Telegraph. For therapy, try Deena Solwren, LCSW, office I think in Rockridge. If they don't feel like a good match to you, keep trying. I'm sorry you are suffering this way, I definitely think there is help. Fellow mom

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Kaiser is notorious for not being able to diagnose psychological conditions. Please don't dispair. Please make an appointment w/ Dr. Shoshanna Bennet. She is the expert in the Bay Area for postpartum psychological conditions--not just depression. Here is her website: http://www.postpartumdepressionhelp.com/ Good Luck! been there

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you do not have borderline personality disorder.

first off, someone with bpd would never wonder if they had this diagnosis or any other problem, for that matter. insight, reflection, self-doubt are not part of the characterisitcs of this diagnosis. also, bpd is something you are hardwired with, like autism. people w\ bpd get into trouble w\ relationships, school etc. early on in life, they don´t just start having problems.

re: personality disorders, we all have certain traits that overlap w\ the psychiatric catagories, more at some times than in others. it´s easy to see yourself in some of these descriptions especially when you´re down and freaked out about things.

before i was a sahm i was a doc and had my share of patients w\ bpd. there´s no mistaking the. believe me i don´t miss them, they make your and everyone else´s life miserable. there´s a lot of depression associated w\ bpd. maybe that´s what you have. please get to a good therapist. they can help you feel better anon

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Have you looked into accupuncture to regulate your hormones? Maybe that's where it's stemming from. Hormones are powerful and underestimated. Look on the BPN for a referral to a good practitioner. You might have to interview a couple making sure they feel comfortable working agressively with you on the hormone issue. If you didn't have ANY of these symptoms before childbirth, it would seem to me hormone related, but I'm not a specialist. Good luck. anon

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If you have suicidal thoughts, it seems to me you should taper off the anti-depressants under someone's close watch. Are you sure they are not largely the cause of some of your symptoms? Beyond that, maybe you should think about seeing another medical doctor to check you out and give you a second opinion. Get one that's willing to listen and spend a little time with you thinking about the problem holistically and is not quick to try to medicate it away. If you're in the Oakland/Berkeley area, I can recommend Avis Logan. She is a family doctor with very good listening and diagnosing skills. When I was deeply depressed, her advice was right on the money. I ended up not taking anti-depressants and made some other changes in my life (getting a new job was #1) that made all the difference. What is right for you could be some combination of things you perhaps hadn't thought of yet. Good luck! Anon

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Sounds like you are having a tough time and trying very hard to get appropriate help. I am a social worker who works in a pediatric clinic and we see moms who have experiences similar to yours. Although I am not a psychiatrist and don't claim to be, what you are describing sounds to me like post-partum depression/anxiety rather than Borderline Personality Disorder. There is a great psychologist in Oakland who specializes in helping moms with post-partum mood disorders. Her name is Shoshanna Bennett. She can be reached at (510) 889- 6017. She likely knows of a psychiatrist who has expertise in this as well and might be able to prescribe a more appropriate medication in conjunction with psychotherapy. I hope this helps. Concerned Mama

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I am not a doctor, but it sounds like you have some hormonal issues going on, since your problems are related to pregnancy. why don't you go to your Kaiser dr and ask for a referral to an endocrinologist? or a psychiatrist that specializes in women's issues? by the way, the dr who told you that sex obsession or sleeping issues are the necessary markers of bipolar is behind the current research, in my understanding. You can still try a mood stabilizer--what matters is the effect of the drug, not really the diagnosis. Please keep trying to find a doctor that can help you. And maybe a prescription for a minor tranquilizer in the meantime to deal with your anger? good luck!

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go see phyllis klaus (559-8000). she may help - i went to her even though i had kaiser. she is worth the out of pocket expense. i have had similar feelings. i hope you find an answer. anon

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I don't have any experience with BPD but I experienced lots of anxiety and rage/anger after my child was born for over a year. At first I thought it was new parent worries/sleep deprivation, but then I eventually realized it was the birth control I was on. No level/type of prescription seemed to matter and my anxiety went away 48 hours after I stopped taking hormonal birth control. The rage/anger left after lots of support from friends/marriage counseling and finding a way to give myself time alone and soul searching. Maybe you have a real disorder, but maybe if you are on any hormones it's not helping. good luck

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If you do have BPD, you are way ahead of the game by just being willing to accept that you have it. Various counselors I have seen have suggested that my mother has BPD and most of the reading I have done says that most people with BPD cannot be helped because they will not accept that there is anthing wrong with them. Anyway, it might be helpful to you to read books about BPD such as ''Stop Walking on Eggshells''. But I wonder if you are just tired? Or are you close to menopause? I find that I have horrible bouts of anger since children because I am close to menopause. And I am too tired. And it is hard to give so much of yourself all the time (not that I would change things). And my mom is driving me crazy. Etc. It's good to be aware and to keep working on it. Counselors have told me I need to make my life bigger...i.e. take more time for myself. Sorry, this is probably not too helpful. Anon

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BPD is really, really hard to diagnose, and congratulations to you for seeing the symptoms in yourself and trying to act on them. My heart goes out to you. This show on public radio might help, you can listen online: http://www.wnyc.org/shows/lopate/episodes/2007/02/05/segments/73112 If that link doesn't work, try this: http://tinyurl.com/26pb79 In addition, here is an organization that deals only with BPD: http://www.bpdcentral.com/ Start there in your search for treatment. Best of luck to you.

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You need to get a decent and reasonable psychiatrist. I'm really sorry that you have to suffer so. The one thing that really struck me in your post was that somebody told you that you aren't bipolar because you aren't obsessed with sex and you sleep ok??? Huh?? don't ever go back to that person again. I have a bipolar sibling who is not obsessed with sex and who, as far as I can tell, sleeps like a rock. She is very clear that without her appropriate dose of lithium, she would be a wreck. Without it, yes, rages, depression, bouts of very very high energy.... You may want to double check that potential diagnosis. Also, it sounds like your current medication may just not be quite right for you. (either wrong amount, wrong medication, or maybe you are bipolar.) I'm sorry I don't have a specific Kaiser doc to recommend, but I'd suggest continuing to ask and press for improvement, including getting 2nd or 3rd opinions, since your current diagnosis isn't working. And psychotherapy in combo with the right medication could be just what you need. Good luck to you.

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Go to the DBT Center in San Francisco located on Union Street. Ask for Dr. Mitchell. I know going to the city may not be easy but the DBT center is hands down the best place for the symptoms you describe. They do not prescribe medication (but are willing to work with a psychiatrist on your behalf). They engage in what is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (the proven method for treating borderline personality disorder). Even if this is not your diagnosis the therapy works wonders. Look it up. Very helpful. anon

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You really had a doctor tell you that you might be bi- polar ''but said I probably wasn't if I wasn't obsessed with sex and that I slept OK''?

That was an incredibly ignorant thing of him/her to say; bi- polar disorder has many different forms and symptoms and is in no way limited to or solely defined by sex obsession and sleep problems. Anxiety and ''bouts of rage'' are often symptoms. Even Dr. Seuss can look this information up on the interent.

I have no idea if you are bi-polar or not. But one of the most depressing things about depression is how long it can often take to find the right doctor and treatment. You are extraordinarily lucky to have good medical coverage, so don't give up the search. You owe it to yourself and your family.

Don't dismiss medication right off, as you seem to want to do; deep depression and other psychiatric disorders *** need ** this kind of help, even if just for a little while, along with talk therapy, good diet and exercise, etc.

Good luck to you and sincere good wishes that you will find the right help soon. Know the feeling

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It sounds like you need some help! BPD is not something that just develops after you have kids. It is a pervasive personality disorder that is present in one shape or form for all of adulthood. Having kids is life altering and it appears that you are having a very difficult time managing the stress and emotions that go along with it. Having a second child is double the stress. It sounds, also, like you have reached out (bravo!), but haven't gotten the help you need. Keep trying. My recommendation is therapy with a very experienced psychotherapist. Not necessarily a psychiatrist (although one to work with your meds, that you are reporting are not working, seems to be necessary. There are many different antidepressants that all work differently). I would also recommend a physical work up, checking out everything--hormone levels, blood work, everything) Because of the way you sound, I'd also recommend seeing a therapist more than one time a week. It sounds like you can afford that, too. Did the psychiatrist really say that you did not have bipolar because you were not obsessed with sex? Maybe you misunderstood, because that is absolutely not true. Also, I am not sure you would do well Kaiser (although I do not know Kaiser very well), but I feel it is a good place to start. My experience has been that psychotherpy visits are limited there and you seem like you need continued support. Please keep looking for the help you need (are you isolated? Do you have experience with other parents of second children that are way stressed out? Have you had rage in the past?). It is so healthy that you have contacted the BPN to get more help. I take anyone who says they are suicidal VERY seriously. Please keep trying. a psychotherapist

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Please get help. im glad your reaching out and i hope that someone in the network can give you better advice than i can. im not a medical professional but only a mom with sever depression so i know how hard it is to manage a household with children while dealing with bouts of depression.

you might consider some good solid therapy. did you have a difficult childhood. are you a surviver of sexual abuse? if so i would recommend a therapist in Albany her name is Caprice Haverty, she has a lot of experience with these issues and conducts both individual and group therapy. Good luck. keep looking for solutions until you feel better. P M