Young adult daughter struggling w hormones/ energy/ weight gain
My young adult daughter ( age 27) is really struggling with her health and specifically weight and energy level. It is hard for me to see her so upset with herself and her body. I want to be supportive but also allow her the ability to figure this out mostly in her own. She has been steadily gaining weight since her late teens and at about 17 she was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and has been medicated and monitored for that. She gained more weight when she got an IUD ( with hormones) a few years ago. She just met with a nutritionist and learned more about healthy eating, exercise, etc. She met with a nutritionist and paid a lot of money for her guidance. She went on this very restrictive meal plan for at least a month or two and then started reintroducing things back into her diet to see the impact. She lost one pound during this whole time ( her friend did the same thing and lost 14 lbs during the same time frame.) she is so upset and I don’t know how to guide her. She knows about exercise and nutrition. She got her IUD removed and is hoping that will help. She thinks her hormones are still out of whack but we don’t really know what she should do Next. Does anyone have advice on other things she can do find out why she is struggling so mightily? Does anyone have a recommendation for any type of health practitioner or other professional who is willing to dig deep and really help her figure out what is out of whack and help her get herself back on track?
Parent Replies
Although I am old now, I also struggled with a thyroid issue and weight gain starting in my late 20s. When she gets her TSH tested pay attention to what her number is, for managing weight it should be as close to "0" as possible or even in the negative, then see how her energy level is. If the number is higher than "1", ask the doctor to increase the dosage of her thyroid med. The birth control method that I found to effect weight gain the least was an arm implant. Also, you can talk to your doc about prescribing a diuretic like hydrochlorothiazide, it may help with bloating. You can also ask your doc to test T4, to get more of a picture of what is going on with thyroid. Also have blood sugar and A1C tested which could lead to a course of metformin, that can also help with weight gain and energy. There is a PBS program about the truth about fat that is very interesting and it posits that exercise will not help reduce weight but will keep you healthy. I found the only nutrition program that worked for me was a high protein diet but the protein has to be dense, i.e. meat. Good Luck!
I'm sorry your daughter is having these health problems and not feeling well. First question that came to mind: is she still in care of a physician for her thyroid condition? Perhaps her medication needs adjusting -- if her current doctor is not taking her concerns seriously and not referring her for follow up testing etc, then I hope she can get a second opinion. The first step would seem to be to stabilize her thyroid situation so she can regain her energy levels and avoid damage to other organs/systems. The next issue to address is her unhappiness with her body. Extreme and rapid weight gain certainly would be upsetting but a slow and steady weight gain over 10 years starting in adolescence seems kind of typical. Is her unhappiness related to feeling pressure to meet some very specific beauty standard? So many of us women hate our bodies b/c we don't look like the images we are surrounded by and we feel like failures even though in reality we have a lot less control over our body shape, thin-ness/fatness than we are told we do. If your daughter can first rule out medical issues, perhaps then she could work with a therapist who can help her learn to love (or at least truly accept!) her body so that numbers on a scale don't dominate her life and undermine her accomplishments and worth as a human.
I completely understand your concern for your daughter. Is she aware that you are reaching out on her behalf? Would she consider acupuncture as a means for troubleshooting what truly ails her? When my young daughter was suffering from severe depression I took her to see my acupuncturist, Dr. Sherry Yang which definitely helped and my daughter enjoyed the treatments. Sherry was an MD in China and was practicing acupuncture at a clinic on Ashby near College when Covid resulted in that clinic closing. Sherry recently opened her own clinic named Berkeley Acupuncture and it’s a beautiful space that includes parking. Sherry is a gifted healer and I highly recommend her. She will take excellent care of your daughter. If you decide to go it’s ok to tell her Ana sent you.
Best to you and your daughter.
https://www.sherryyang.com/
I would recommend nancy rakela, acupuncture. She is one of the wisest people I know including for things she will refer you to a western doctor for. She helps people with hormonal difficulties, I started seeing her for fibroids but I also know she helps people with fertility issues and hormonal imbalances. She may either be able to help or to help you figure out who to ask. Stress makes hormonal stuff worse, so probably a ton is now happening!
Take care.
I really think this is your daughter's issue to address and (saying this with kindness because I'm sure you love her very much) you should not be involved in her weight challenges. 27 is not a "young adult" - that is an adult. It was an eye opener for me to hear recently from friends my age (mid 40s) that they felt their mothers were preoccupied with their own and their daughters' weights from a very early age to essentially the present day, and they feel like they are still working through that baggage. (I feel lucky that my mom, being overweight herself, picked different battles to fight with me.) I hope you let your adult daughter be and determine her own healthy path.