Women with babies panhandling on BART - unsure what to do

I am looking forward to answers.  There is a woman who regularly panhandles on my route home to Downtown BART station who is there with between 1-3 children; 1 is an infant.  I give money on occasion, too.

You have a kind heart.  The "mother-with-baby" combo is supposed to tug at you and open your wallet. But rest assured, you are not a horrible person if you just ignore them.  The babies are for sure not in a good environment, but the fault is squarely with the adult (unknown if the person is actually the "mother").  It is almost for sure a scam. 

https://m.reddit.com/r/sanfrancisco/comments/3nnamn/i_am_seeing_a_lot_more_beggars_with_babies_in_sf/

I live in San Diego, and we also have an enormous homeless population here. Recently I came across a young family - father, pregnant mother and toddler in stroller with a sign saying "Hungry and No Rent Money Please Help".  They were outside the door to my local Whole Foods. So I bought them some fruit and bread and gave it to them on the way out.  BUT that's not typically what I do. Typically, I keep large ziploc bags in my car with me (I was on foot that day), and I have little kits in them that include: travel toothpaste + brush, a juice box or small water bottle, travel pack of baby wipes, and most important: a couple of granola bars to which I have attached business cards from a local interfaith resource center/shelter. So I hand those out from my car. When not in my car, I usually keep 1-2 of those granola bars + biz cards on my person (had already handed one out on my way to WF). That way I'm giving the person a snack, but with a solid resource if they're interested. I would say about 80% of the folks I hand these out to say thank you (especially teenagers), and pocket the biz card right away. Recently I've had a couple of the more "psychologically challenged" homeless tell me they don't want the granola bars ("That stuff makes me sick"), so I offer them the biz card, which they usually also decline and then demand money. At which point I wish them well and walk away. I know how you feel. When I first moved to my neighborhood, we had maybe 1 homeless person every 2 blocks or so. Now the city has "cleaned up" downtown, and pushed all the homeless to my area, so now we have about 3-5 homeless per block. I see some of the same ones every day, but I see a lot of people cycling through, many of them appear to be addicts, so again, if they ask for help, I offer the bar + biz card and tell them I no longer carry cash (which is true, too many robberies and pickpockets around here). I've ridden subways all over the world, including BART and NYC, and I'm going to offer you 1 caution I learned over the years:  Beware the woman with the baby. They will frequently use the baby to distract people from what they are stealing. That being said, it's totally okay karmically to guard your own valuables while simultaneously offering a minimum of help and a link to a resource center.  Good luck and be safe.

I never give money to anyone on BART. My opinion is that they will continue to bother the captive audience as long as they are rewarded with money for doing so.

I'm cynical but I really don't like seeing women using babies as props for their begging. It's a scam. They know how to get food stamps and where the food banks are. Panhandling is their JOB. They're not desperate but have found a good way to exploit the kindness of strangers. 

Here are a couple really sad articles about a four year old whose parents used him to get cash out of people but won't take the steps that they need to get him into free preschool or off  the streets.

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Dilemma-How-to-help-4-year-old-pa…

http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/A-better-plan-needed-for-4-year-old-…

There's a woman's center in West Oakland (28th & Adeline?) with free baby clothes. The Giving Tree of the East Bay is a Facebook page where people (esp parents) can post needs and requests. I know that the City of Oakland has recently rounded up a sheet with a list of resources for the homeless, which might also have some resources relevant to the women you're running into -- anyone in Councilmember Lynette Gibson McElhaney's office could probably get you a copy.

I hear you on this... I stopped giving money to panhandlers years ago and now keep an extra oatmeal bar or fruit or baby food pouches in my bag to offer them. 

I also read an article about how children are being used to create extra "sympathy" in order for the mother to collect more money, etc. Sometimes it's not even their babies (and they are borrowed from poor families) run by some shady underground operation! The article suggests that in order to stop this, it's better to offer them something to eat (or as you said, point them to a food bank) and not further fuel it by funding them. This is probably more rare in North America but sadly, is very common in big international cities. :(

Ignore them or say "no". As a parent it's cringe inducing to see them holding their tiny infants pacing up and down the train.
That's why they do it.

They've been riding the Bart and standing outside Walmart or Food-co parking lots in Richmond and Vallejo for decades. The men offer to fix dents or scratches on your car that "someone" did while you were in the store for 20$. And then they'll pull out paint the same color as your car.
The women walk with small babies. They're not looking for help, they're at work.
I'm not being cynical, it's the truth. It's their culture. My aunt and husband both work in social services. It's very hard to help them. Most are undocumented because they have their babies at home and don't really associate with outsiders except to ask for change.
If you offer them diapers or a #to food bank they'll just walk away.
The average pan handler in the bay area makes about 17$ an hour. They make twice that. The only victims are the babies sadly.

Interesting that this last Friday (10/14) was the first time I have ever heard a train operator issue a warning against panhandling (and that's all it is) over the PA system.  Now if they would only crack down on the "dancers" as well. 

Ignore them. This is an old scam in Europe. Kids are often abused, not the adult's child. if we give money we fuel the practice. Please don't encourage them by giving money.