Kindergartener seems to have ADHD; when do you start to worry?

Why not get him assessed?  As the mom of a (wonderful, btw) kid who was diagnosed with ADHD very late, I can only say if there's one thing I could turn back the clock and do over, it would be getting our kid in for testing MUCH earlier than we did. What would be the harm in knowing, getting services  started earlier rather than later, and setting him off on the best path you can?  BTW, April is not a "late" birthday, it's smack in the middle (towards the "older" end if anything) of school district cut-offs. I can't understand why you'd question a his in general, but then with your husbands own experience...

Your child could also be acting up a bit because you are in the room.  I definitely noticed this when I volunteered in my kid's pre-school back in the day.  Kids get excited when their parents are present.

My son had similar issues in kindergarten. In fact, it's as if you were describing him when he was that age. We didn't worry about it. We didn't worry because we knew he could focus and concentrate on one thing if he really loved it. For instance, he was able to take apart old electronics with a screw driver for as long as an hour without distraction. Also, he was able to hear whatever anyone said even if he was busy doing something else. So think about whether or not your son is able to focus on something at all, outside school. If he has the ability, then I don't think you have to worry. School is very distracting and only now, second grade, is my son able to fully focus in class. Of course this is purely my own experience and yours could be very different, I'm only explaining what mine was like.
I would like to add that while it's reasonable to worry about adhd because of your husband, try not to go directly to that assumption. I think we all too easily attribute our kid's behaviors to our own without much thought and that may lead to us having expectations for them to be a certain way which isn't fair to them. I hope this helps!

Dear confused mama, There's little downside to having your son tested and learning more information about who he is. But as your husband's experience attests, there ARE downsides to not having a diagnosis and access to available tools and therapy. The early grades are when kids learn to read, and it can be a significant struggle to catch up if they miss out on that early practice. We were in a very similar situation to yours in that my daughter had a late birthday and was coming from a play-based preK, which meant that it was hard to interpret her behavior in K as being truly "behind" or just immature and less experienced with an academic curriculum. By 1st grade, however, the inattentiveness was very clear, and was already creating problems for her academically. I wish we'd tested earlier. Remember also that you can choose to share any "label" you might receive with anyone, or no one. For example, if you test outside the school system, you don't have to tell the school OR your son. If you test within the school system, the school might know, but individual teachers may or may not have access to the information, and you don't have to tell your son necessarily at all. We didn't start talking with our daughter about her ADHD until closer to 3rd grade, in part because we didn't want her to feel different. (By 3rd grade, though, she was starting to notice her differences and wanted to take more ownership of the issue.) So just because you pursue testing and information doesn't necessarily doom your son to being permanently labeled. There are many intermediate steps along the way.

Best of luck to you.

Hi - sorry to hear you're going through this. I am a former speech therapist and elementary school teacher, who worked with lots of ADHD kids, and I have a teenage daughter who has Executive Dysfunction, mild ADD, major depression and addiction issues. From when she was 5 I knew something was not right, which only increased with the years. It took until she was a teenager to get a correct diagnosis.  So here's my advice to you, coming from both sides of the fence, so to speak:  From what you're saying, your instinct is correct.  What you need to know is that yes, the school is obligated under federal law to assess your child and provide an IEP (Individual Education Program) in a multidisciplinary context that includes you as part of the process.  This does not mean that you are obligated to go to the school for initial assessment. What I suggest, if you have the resources and good insurance, is to find a child psychologist who specializes in these issues and have them assess your young child first. You then have the choice of presenting that to the school for further action, engaging in private treatment that the school knows nothing about, or continuing a wait-and-see approach. At any time in your child's school career, these options all remain in effect. You can pull the trigger whenever you want to.  So my best advice is try private resources first, unless and until you feel your child needs more support in the school environment. And if you don't have access to private resources, then get with the school psychologist to put the wheels in motion. Don't wait, though, the sooner the better. Also get the name of a good education lawyer for future reference, frequently they're needed to push the school district into following the IEP process appropriately. Good luck and best wishes.

Hi Confused Mama,
I have an 11 year old with ADHD. It was clear he was more unfocused and distracted than other kids even in pre-school, but I waited until he was in third grade to address it. By then we had heard from his Kindergarten, 1st grade, and 2nd grade teachers that he was very difficult in class and then his 3rd grade teacher said the same thing. He began medication halfway through 3rd grade and almost overnight became a kid that all the teachers loved—focused, interested, hard-working in class. And he became much happier as well because he was no longer being shunned by the other kids for being "too much."

Having said that, however, I don't regret waiting until 3rd grade to have him assessed. I wanted to give him plenty of time to adjust to school, to see if he would grow out of it, to see if he was just taking longer to mature. I do think Kindergarten is very, very young to pigeonhole a kid, even if he does have some symptoms and even if there is a family history of ADHD.

I would encourage you to give your son at least through 1st grade to just be himself and so if things sort themselves out.

Best of luck

ADHD mom

Hi - I totally get it and wish I'd had my daughter tested right away.  She's now 15 and showed all the signs in kindergarten, exactly like your son (who's just super smart and creative by the way).  I highly recommend that you get him tested and just get on with having him be empowered and love learning.  I was afraid of labeling my daughter and she really struggled through school unncessarily!

 Also, I highly recommend Amy Cheiftetz, an amazing Educational Therapist who specializes in ADHD.  She's all about empowering children, having them love learning and having the whole family thrive as well.  She works with children and families, and she has also has a great support group for parents.  She's been a miracle worker for us!  Her contact info: Amy Cheifetz: 510-207-2995.  Good luck and remember your son is awesome! :)

ADHD diagnosis can be a bit of a racket. It involves a very expensive evaluation. As the mother of an ADHD son, I wish I'd known that there's an inexpensive and foolproof way to find out whether or not your kid has it. See if your internist will prescribe one Ritalin tablet. Then watch your son for the next four hours (the drug will be entirely out of his system after that -- it's short acting).

If you son becomes calmer and more focused, bingo. If he becomes more energized, he doesn't have it.

The earlier you can know for sure, the more successful your son's academic and social progress will be. I wish we'd known sooner than 3rd grade -- our kid was developing low self esteem due to his ADHD related struggles.

I was, like most parents, reluctant to medicate, but it became clear that our son welcomed the diagnosis, and the meds. They helped him.

Also, I wish I'd given him an extra year of preschool so that he could be more mature when 'real school" started. 

Hope this helps.

The best place to start is with your pediatrician.  Talk with your pediatrician about your concerns and make sure to tell him/her about the family history of ADHD. Your pediatrician can rule out ADHD or give you a referral to another physician or psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD.  When our child was diagnosed, the evaluation was very thorough.  The pediatrician did want to wait until my child was 6 years old and he was having problems both at home and in school to give a definitive diagnosis.  You can talk to your pediatrician and decide if it makes sense to wait and see, but if the teacher already sees the lack of focus, then you might not need to wait.  The school can evaluate your child, but only a doctor can give a diagnosis of ADHD.  

If you child does have ADHD, then you can figure out  how to support him.  My kid really does well with medication and some accommodations in class.  The idea of getting a "label" was scary at first, but it's up to you who you want to tell.  There is real help available for kids with ADHD, and it's well worth the effort and diagnosis.

Good luck!

My son just started second grade and I could easily have written your question two years ago (in fact I think I did!). I decided to just wait it out since although he had trouble focusing he was still able to learn (basically his first grade teacher uses that as a guideline for intervention). He struggled moderately all through first grade and had some times toward he end of the year when he said he hated school. He was late learning to read as well. He kinda clicked on the reading over the summer and he seems to have matured a bit and now he's fine. When I talked to his guidance counselor late first grade she said that they really need to be getting down to business by third grade (when they start getting actual grades) and so if he hadn't kinda matured into things by mid second grade, he should be evaluated. But like most things, he was simply a late bloomer and he's doing fine. My relaxed attitude about it helped, I think. Rather than single him out for testing and freaking out I just gave him room to grow and I'm glad I waited it out. 

My son has Inattentive ADD. We had no idea until we consulted with a developmental pediatrician when he was in 3rd grade. We knew something was off - all his teachers from preschool on up had remarked how he seemed not to hear them, it was hard to draw him in to classroom activities, he couldn't complete tasks, and by 2nd grade he was still not reading well. We thought it must be a combination of extreme shyness and dyslexia, because we didn't know anything about inattentive ADD. I wish we had looked in to it in kindergarten, because he really missed most of what was happening K-2 and had a lot of catch-up once he began meds in 3rd grade. It's easier to diagnose ADD when they are in the 2nd or 3rd grade because they are reading then, and school is getting more academic. But my advice is do it now, don't waste anymore time, especially given your husband's history.  If he does have ADD, you will be amazed how much the meds help.

You've already taken the perfect first step -- speaking to his teacher. She sees kids year after year, and probably has a great sense of what falls within neurotypical parameters. As you know, a lot of kids -- a lot of boys, especially -- just take longer to mature. 

But I don't think that you, as a critical and well-informed parent, would fall into a false ADD diagnosis. You can have the kid assessed and even assessed again before settling on a diagnosis. I know a lot of people moan and cry about over-diagnosis and overuse of meds, but everyone in our circle -- the BPN-type parent -- seems to be so aware of this issue. I'm saying this to reassure you. There are a lot of parents like your husband who went through years of feeling like crap, like absolute crap, because they simply couldn't do what came naturally to their classmates, and I applaud you for watching so closely. 

My advice? Continue what you're doing right now, and give positive reinforcement. Be encouraging and psyched about his progress, wherever he is. That way even if he does eventually end up being diagnosed, it will be much less of a big deal and not layered with regret and pain. I think you're doing great. Just keep watching, and set a deadline of like six months, and promise yourself you won't worry during those 6 months. Then see where's he's at then. 

If he missed out on TK but qualifies for it, consider having him do K twice. 

My son (born in August) was the same last year in Kindergarten. This year he is doing so much better. He is more able (and willing) to focus and the teacher has noticed the change and how well he's doing. I think your son probably/hopefully won't be that aware yet of how well he's doing compared with the other children so I'd be inclined to leave it alone and see how he gets on this year unless you see or the teacher raises something dramatically worrying. I think as a parent we can overthink things sometimes and maybe we should just let our kids be - hopefully he'll get there in his own good time. Obviously, I'm not saying you should ignore your instincts, but maybe just sit back and observe for a while before you spring into action. 

My husband felt as yours did, that everyone just thought he was "bad." Our own son has ADHD, and you can't really "push" for a diagnosis, because he either has it or he doesn't. But I do think you should start the evaluation process. Be warned that your district will likely push back even though they are legally responsible to evaluate (OUSD principal at our neighborhood school said falsely, "Oh, they don't do that testing until 3rd grade when there is a wider discrepancy between what they should know and what they do know." This is NOT true. Your request-better put it in writing-is what gets the ball rolling.) Also know that if you don't agree with the district's evaluation and feel that they might just be going through the motions and hoping you will drop it, you can ask for one from someone you choose and in fact, you may start with that offer and see if they take it. (Can't hurt.) Here are 2 sites that will help immensely: DREDF.org and wrightslaw.com. Good luck!

If you are concerned about ADHD, I would ask the pediatrician. S/he may be reluctant to make a diagnosis at such a young age, but you can see. At the same time, you can request to schedule a SST at school. They will share tips and strategies.  If the concerns are more about the attentiveness than the academics, probably not much will happen until you have a diagnosis, but it can't hurt to get the ball rolling. Good luck and hang in there. 

I have a 12 year old son with ADHD. We knew in kindergarten that he had significant focus issues but it did not cause issues in school or with his self-esteem until 3rd or 4th grade when things become more academic.  A formal diagnosis by a child psychiatrist and medication have helped him enormously. 

I would suggest that you go through your Pediatrician and get recommendations for a child psychiatrist or developmental pediatrician who can make a definitive diagnosis.

Once you have a medical diagnosis of ADHD or ADD in hand,  request a meeting for an IEP in writing to your principal. The school District is obligated to respond to this written request within 30 days. It will speed the implementation of your IEP once you have this medical diagnosis from a doctor, and you can begin to implement some accommodations in the classroom like:  

1) longer time to complete tasks  2) time outs to run around outside 3) more frequent snacks 4) a rubber ball to sit on and bounce in class at his desk 5) preferential seating in the front of the class

You can then wait and decide when to begin medicines but I would wait till 3rd or 4th grade. Once you have the medical diagnosis in hand, things go much easier in the school setting.

I would not go through the schools psychologist as a first step for a diagnosis. You could waste a lot of time in getting an IEP with that route as school districts can claim that there is no formal medical diagnosis.