Therapist for teen pulling out hair
My 12.5 year old daughter has started plucking her hair out to the point that her part is noticibly wider and she’s getting a small bald spot at the crown of her head.
I noticed the hair loss and was worried it was thyroid issues or potentially alopecia so took her to her doctor. Doctor said it hair plucking and I had started noticing her pulling at her hair after I noticed the wide part.
She is not at this point too open to any of the suggestions of the pediatrician ( wear a hat, wear hair back so don’t pick ) and doesn’t want to discuss it. She doesn’t appear to be stressed out in any way but does have some anxiety issues and sensory issues.
She has a therapist but her therapist didn’t have much to offer as far as how to address it. Are there therapists who specialize in addressing things like this? If so, I’d love a recommendation.
Parent Replies
As you describe it, this is a compulsive behavior that can be treated (with CBT and/or anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication) or you can attempt to environmentally manage it, as your doctor suggested. Managing it is obviously (IMHO) a band-aid approach. The condition is called trichotillomania and there are many online support groups, including some with Bay Area members, and the larger universe is called body-focused repetitive behaviors. It shares characteristics with Tourette syndrome and OCD. Many, many people display one or more of this kind of behavior and you and your daughter are not alone!
My 14 year old started doing the same thing. It’s trichitillomania. I have just gotten her a therapist—first session on the 9th, but this is a therapist to help her deal with anxiety and feelings in general. If you’d like to talk I think it could be helpful for both of us.
my daughter alerted me to her pulling. She pulls from the front of her head, at the part. It started during covid due to social isolation. And sometimes she just does it now while relaxing out of habit. I used to pick my skin (adult acne) out of this idea that I could make it better or sometimes just to try to smooth it out or in times of stress and so I feel like I understand when brought trichitillomania about. She feels like she’s doing better but I still see small scabs and bare patches. It’s so sad to see this clear visual of her inner turmoil. I have nightmares about it.
feel free to call me if you want. You can get my contact info from moderators?
My goddaughter had this problem. Trichotillomania is a known disorder related to OCD. There are specific behavioral therapies, including CBT, and in refractory cases they use medications. Your therapist sounds like she's not up to the job. There are some here in the East Bay that specialize in OCD. Maybe they can guide you. Good luck!
I wanted to let you know you're not alone. My daughter is the same age now as yours and she had a bout of trichotillomania in 2nd grade when she had a stressful year. She had shown a tiny bit of it prior to the stressful time. In part, she had a belief that she didn't like the new hair growing in at the hairline and she kept plucking it out, as her hairline receded noticeably. That stopped once I explained that she needed to let it grow back to have normal bangs again. But, following something that happened that was very upsetting to her, in the space of a couple hours, she made a sizeable bald spot at the crown. The teacher reported to us that other students were asking about it, having seen her pulling. We did a comb-over for a couple months, also tried using scarves. Then she tried pulling where it couldn't be seen at the nape of her neck for a short time, and stopped. And she has also pulled out a couple eyelashes sporadically.
The pulling largely subsided after that episode. She did some thinking on her own and decided not to do it. I believe she has developed her own internal coping strategies to deal with the urges that cause it. I have read online that some people even pull in their sleep, so conscious strategies may be less helpful, but perhaps there are other strategies that may help relax or reduce the urge. As I'm writing, this sounds like it's a big deal, and it WAS, but since that year, it's barely an issue at all. Hopefully (knock wood) it will stay in the background. I hope the same for your daughter.
As parents, it was extremely upsetting to look on the web and consider it might be a long term issue with big social consequences. We wanted to be supportive and tried not to make too big a deal, I didn't want her going underground. I could always tell when I would find healthy hairs on the floor or bedsheets with the root attached. I didn't know about it then, but tapping (look it up) might be a good practice to build resilience to stress and boredom.
Look up trichotillomania and you will find lots of info.
There is an organization in Santa Cruz with helpful resources: https://www.bfrb.org
This article was helpful:
http://alimattu.com/blog/2010/10/7/a-beginners-guide-to-treating-tricho…
The TLC Foundation has great resources on their website. https://www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs/trichotillomania. I suggest you look for a therapist has specializes in skin picking / hair pulling. It often falls under anxiety related disorders and/or OCD. My daughter used a great workbook for skin picking which was very helpful to her and I assume there are similar for hair pulling. Check with TLC about resources, support programs, parent education, etc.
Good luck