Therapist Recommendations for a Spirited 7YO
My family needs more support with our 7 year old spirited son. We've read books, tried to implement strategies, and don't know what else to do. If you have had success finding a therapist to work with your spirited child and are willing to share recommendations, please do. We live in the Richmond/Berkeley area. Thank you!
Mar 25, 2018
Parent Replies
I too have several spirited children and have found the Positive Parenting class with Wellspring Educational Services to be super useful. (http://www.wellspringeducation.org/behavior-management-course/) Of course change didn't happen overnight but I learned a lot taking the course. They take an every child is different approach by giving you a toolkit of 'tools' to use - not all will work and some will work better than others depending on the child. They also believe that no child is misbehaving on purpose and that as a parent, it's our role to try to determine what in the environment or internally that is causing the child to be dysregulated and appear to be misbehaving and to teach our child how to self-regulate themselves. They also recommended the book Self-Reg by Stuart Shanker.
Though not a licensed therapist, our family consulted with Rebecca Freeling who has billed herself as being a good resource for working better with a spirited kid. Personally, the term “spirited” is such a catch all term for variety of behaviors snd interactions that can go sideways with a kid. Ours is great outside the home, but comes home and is either passive agressively or in your face, over the top defiant and nasty mean to siblings and parents. Fun times! Rebecca reminded us that we’re the adults, we’re the parents and to hold the boundaries and not get sucked into negativity. Easier said than done, but it was a good reminder to be the kind of parents your kid needs, not necessarily the kind you always wanted to be.
My husband alsotook the Positive Parenthood Class at Wellspring and it was invaluable to our family. We still refer to the binder Robin Hague gave us (our "Bible") frequently!
Allow me to recommend another fantastic book - also life-changing - and very much aligned with the Wellspring class:
The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child by Alan Kazdin.
Don't let the title frighten you like it did me! Many friends had recommended this book to me over the past couple of years but I always avoided it, thinking that it must be a book for parents of children with ODD...this book is not just for parents of children with diagnoses...it fact, I feel that this book contains information that every parent should read! It is all about positive reinforcement (and explains how and why our parents' punishment techniques don't work) and not only helps children to cooperate but brings you closer in the process. Worth its weight in gold!