Therapist or psychologist for self-esteem issues in ten year old
My 10-year old has always been on the strong-willed, intense side, making her Kinder-through 2nd grade experiences at school tough (lots of ostracized moments and being sent out of classroom). She is bright/quirky and now at a more suitable school, but is acting out at home (roughness, hitting, impulsivity) and at the very least, I think she has self-esteem issues. So I am looking for recommendations for super-positive, compassionate, genuine, wise psychologists/ therapists who can help with her self-esteem through one-on-one sessions and if necessary, additional parental guidance. We're on the Peninsula now but willing to drive further if we find someone helpful.
May 29, 2022
Parent Replies
I highly recommend you get a complete neuropsych assessment to find out what is going on with your child. She may have a learning issue, ADHD, ASD, or something else. I wasted a lot of time and money on psychologists who misdiagnosed my child because they didn't do a full assessment. If you do it privately, it will be very expensive but will cost less than a year of therapy and allow you to make sure your child is getting the help that will be really helpful.
I strongly recommend that you get her evaluated for ADHD, as what you describe sounds very much like female ADHD. Girls with ADHD also tend to have very low self-esteem, have intense feelings, and often have difficulties with friends and social interactions -- as you describe "ostracized moments." ADHD has nothing to do with intelligence, so kids can be very bright but still have all the struggles you describe. Getting our daughter evaluated was one of the best things we ever did for her, she was so relieved to know what she was feeling and going through had an explanation and that she wasn't stupid, or crazy, or not capable (her words). This in turn actually helped with her self-esteem. One thing I learned through our experience is that educators have very little to no knowledge about ADHD especially when it comes to girls. For years I suspected my daughter had ADHD or ADD, but teachers would tell me that it wasn't possible because she was so bright, that all she had to do was stop talking so much and focus.
I wanted to add on to my reply about your daughter getting checked for ADHD. ADDitutdemag.com is a great resource and has a really informative emailed newsletter. I just got this article on how unrecognized ADHD eats away at girls' self-esteem, the effects of which can be long lasting
https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-in-girls-shame/?goal=0_d9446392d6-9692…
Have you tried asking for a psychoeducational evaluation at school? That's where I would start (and I should know because I worked as a school psychologist for the last 11 years). Public schools do these for free if they think that the assessment is justified. Otherwise, maybe check out Social Thinking. They may be just what your child needs. Good luck!