Teen driving expenses

We paid the costs for our son to get his license, and to put him on our insurance, because being able to drive is a fairly essential part of being an adult and required for many jobs, plus helpful to us. We would not have bought him a car, but after leaving home for a while he managed to acquire a car for free. We advanced some money for repairs, but he was paying the car expenses himself when he was out of school, working. However, when he went back to school, he couldnt work enough hours to afford to maintain a car. As he is now back living at home we ended up taking over the car because it is useful to have the second car and third driver. I only wish younger son, 17 would hurry up and get his license as we still have to drive him some places.

My daughter graduated from college in June. We were glad to pick up the tab for lessons, insurance and gas, and we were happy to let her drive both of our cars. When she was a senior in high school, we bought her a used car so she could take it to college. What did we get in return? Someone who could easily get herself to sports practices, run errands, grocery shop and get herself to and from university. Oh, and she took me to the emergency room when I had a bad cut. 

Well, you asked, so ... my opinion is that you are shirking a parental responsibility. Why don't you want him to learn how to drive? Do you want him to learn later, so he has less experience than his friends, or do you just not want him to learn at all? Are you hoping he'll just lose interest in the idea? Also, can't you just put him on your insurance for very little money? For heaven's sake, I don't understand this at all. Driving is such a critical skill in our society, and I would think you would want to be as supportive as possible, and keep as close an eye on things as possible. My opinion, which you did ask for, is that you're quite mean-spirited about this. There are many "teachable moments" around money and responsibility, but a driver's permit is not one of them. 

I'm going to pay for everything (driving lessons and insurance) because my daughter is almost 18 and is really reluctant to drive. I feel like if I don't push her now she will never learn. I also feel strongly that learning to drive by age 18 is a milestone that needs to be met (like learning to swim, tie shoes, ride a bike) or self-esteem, and not to mention driving skills, will suffer later in life.

I think splitting the costs with your son is appropriate.  He can earn and contribute towards his share, learning that receiving privileges requires taking responsibility.  It appears you have the resources to pay for half, which will help him learn these important life skills without putting too high a monetary blockade in front of him.  However expect lots of resistance from him if this is the first time you've required him to earn/work for these types of privileges. Good luck, be fair and stick to your guns!

It depends on your situation. If your son has an income, he should pay for his expenses (gas and insurance). You are letting him drive the extra car which is great. If he doesn't have a source of income, not sure how he would pay for it (get a job?)

I would pay for the driving class to make sure he had a good education about driving.

I understand not being in a hurry for him to drive. Its expensive and can be dangerous. It is a privilege and not a right as they say.

You are going to be responsible for his actions no matter who pays for the class & insurance.  I think you are being penny wise and pound foolish.  Do you want him to be a good driver?  Pay for a good class.  Do you want to protect your own assets?  Pay for the insurance.  Why are you throwing these huge roadblocks in his way?  Make him pay for gas & maintenance. 

I guess my 1st question is  Do you not want him to drive? It doesn't sound like you want him to. Maybe you can figure out why thatis. 2nd, does he have any way at all to pay for any or all of the things you expect him to pay for? For our family, learning to drive is an expectation we had for our child- like learning to swim. It's part of the process of growing up and being safe and also independent. We paid for our daughter to learn to drive and spent the many hours necessary to ensure the was a safe driver. It was an investment. We let her drive our cars on her own once we thought she was a safe driver. She paid for her gas and any parking tickets. We are paying for her insurance until she has the capacity to earn enough money to possibly do that. She can't earn enough money being a Camp counselor and babysitting to pay for insurance AND gas and clothes, and socializing. My 2cents

I would emphasize safety, not money, especially if money is not an issue. Is he responsible? Does he make good grades? Does he have nice friends? Then I would just pay for the classes, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc. As long as he follows the rules and drives safely. 

Have some consequences in place if he gets a ticket, does not return the car as expected, or uses the car in any unacceptable way. 

I would also make sure that he gets some experience working. But if you have enough money, let him have his earned money to spend and save. 

So glad you are making him pay much of this!  Agree totally! It IS a privilege!

Did you talk about who would pay expenses before he took the written test to get his permit?  Does he have a way to earn money?  The permit is good for a year, so even if you aren't in a hurry for him to drive, if he doesn't pass the driving test before the year is up, he will have to take the written test again.  To me, there is a difference between the costs of learning to drive and the costs of owning or driving a car.  I tend to expect parents to pay for educational costs.  Although driving is a privilege, it can also be considered a useful life skill and we felt that it was important for our kids to know how to drive before they went to college and we paid for them to learn, three down and one to go.  We have tended towards paying for them, as needed, through college, although they haven't all had cars while away.  After college, they cover their own expenses.  Other people we know have insisted that their kids pay for their own insurance and other car costs right from the start.  I think you'll find a range of responses.

Purely my opinion and experience on this issue.  I believe that this issue would depend on the maturity and responsibility of the teen and if they're doing what they're suppose to.  For example, my son always wanted a car once he turned of legal age and while he had his license, he never showed enough responsibility in saving any money and even going to school on a daily basis.  We even tried motivating him to graduate from high school with a promise of a car.  Unfortunately, it went in one ear and out the other.  He finally graduated high school after 6 years and just a kid who was feeling a bit entitled rather than working hard and learning responsibility.  So, when he got a job (he was never very committed to anything), we made an agreement that if he stays committed to the job for at least 3 months, we would give him my old car, well, he stayed for 3 months and then on the day to that month, he quit and still expected the car with no money saved.  He finally got the car, but due to his immaturity level and about to be 21, the car is in his name, insurance and maintenance is his responsibility.  I did this mainly because I couldn't trust him to be responsible.  My point is that not every teen is the same and there isn't a manual on what is right or wrong.  You know your child better than anyone .  If my child was responsible, I absolutely would help out as long as he was making an effort to be responsible, independent and paying for half of maintaining a car.   I think it's important for teens to know what owning a car is entailed.... gets them ready for life!  In addition, responsibility plays such a huge part of driving these days due to all of those distractions such as cell phones.

Jeez, the other responses you got kind of annoyed me so I thought I would share my experience and advice. First of all, you are not mean-spirited nor shirking your parental duties by wanting your son to pay for some or all of his driving which I agree is "a privilege and has high costs and responsibilities associated." Please ignore that judgy post. I think a lot of it has to do with the family experience--you asked what most parents are doing, but we all have different situations. If you live in the hills as many of my daughter's friends do, it seems like the parents can't wait for the kids to get their licenses so they can drive themselves (maybe parents are shirking their carpooling/taxi driver duties?) We live close to school and to BART and my daughter goes everywhere she wants and hasn't needed to drive yet. (She is 17.) I don't agree that driving is a necessary skill like swimming (my daughter is a lifeguard!) but it certainly can be useful. For us, we plan on paying for our daughter's driver's ed class so we know she is well-informed and gets solid practice. If/when she starts using the family car, she will be expected to pay for her own gas and if she damages the car she would pay for that expense. I would NEVER pay for my child's parking tickets as others have noted. Insurance is a tough one as it really is a lot--if you can afford it, I would cover it now and gradually share the expense with him over time (e.g. $800/$0 the first year, $600/$200 the second year) until you can launch him into paying for himself. Good luck!