Single mom with baby and short work trip abroad
Hi,
I am a single mom and I have an almost 1 year old baby girl. My mom helped me a lot but unfortunately she has to return back to Europe and since I don't have family here in the bay area my question is: What can a single mom do if she needs to attend a work trip for 3 days??? I don't know where I can can put my baby full time for 3 days so I can attend a very important business trip? Unfortunately the trip will be abroad so taking the baby with me is not really an option otherwise she would have to suffer from severe jet lag (9 hours time difference) for just 3 days of staying there. Please help! Let me know if you know of any options as I can't think of anything.
Many thanks
Feb 14, 2020
Parent Replies
I really feel for you in this situation! I am paranoid about childcare providers for even 3 hours. Our top babysitter is actually a daycare teacher my toddler is already used to.
I would suggest talking with people your friends have vetted. Or if they’re a stranger, they should have excellent qualifications. Like a doula. Or a former teacher. I recommend my doula who also does childcare and postpartum work, her name is Michi Arguedas from quetzal doula. She is super loving and so great with babies. She helped me a lot after the pregnancy.
We also used Trusted. It’s an app owned by the care.com people but has a higher caliber of caregivers. We ended up hiring a teacher last summer who was on break to help us. There’s something about knowing a provider is already background checked and vetted by the state that makes a big difference in our ability to trust :) Good luck!
My 5-yr-old has never shown the slightest sign of jet lag during trips to the east coast or abroad. You may have other logistical reasons for not bringing the baby but I wouldn’t make jet lag the deal-breaker.
Hi! In case your work trip is to Europe, I would consider going for longer, bringing baby with you, and have your mom meet you at your destination and care for the baby while you are working. E.g. if you meeting is Monday to Wednesday, I would fly out Thursday or Friday night, have a little time to adjust, do the workshop, maybe take a day off afterwards and then fly back home by Friday and have the weekend to readjust. Sure, your baby will have some jetlag but that that will happen anytime you go visit your family in Europe and its just something to get used to (my family is from Europe and my 2,5 year old has travelled back with me 4 times so far). It will certainly be not a treat for you, but pretty exhausting, just sharing an option. If you keep your baby in the Bay: I assume you have a nanny or nanny share? I would first ask her if she could stay with your baby for 3 days as a paid gig. I think it would be best if your baby could stay in her environment, rather than having to be at someone elses place. Good luck!
There is the Bay Area Crises Nursery in Concord. My understanding is they can keep children under 5 yrs. up to 30 days. I am about to start volunteering there so I had a brief observation and it seems like a good place but check it out....
Hi,
I totally understand your situation as I have been there many times. We once had my sister come all the way from Europe to watch our kids because we had to take an exam out of state. We also do not have any family here. Do you have any friends you trust and who are willing to take care of your kiddo? We are doing that now (sister could not come again).
Think about a nanny, friends, maybe extending the trip and taking your kiddo with you and meet there with family. Good luck!
Hi there!
I'm also a single mom and have a 3-year-old son and no family in the area. I recently did an overnight trip to Boston and left my son here for the first time. It was slightly shorter than yours (only one overnight), but I just had my babysitter stay the night at our place and take him to/from preschool. It worked surprisingly well and he did great. I think this might be the best option since it enables your baby to sleep where she is comfortable, etc. I do understand, however, that doing this with a 1-year-old might be slightly more difficult. I would be happy to help in any way possible, even watching your baby if you can't find someone. I understand completely how difficult it is as a single parent without family nearby. Please feel free to email me at teresa_scanlan [at] berkeley.edu
Best wishes to you and keep up the great work!
It helps to cultivate a trusting relationship with a nanny or babysitter you can leave the baby with. But that takes time and it sounds like you don’t know someone like that at the moment. Well, an option would be to fly mom back for a visit and time your business trip for when she is here. Or visit mom and drop off the baby there before going on the business trip. Other people may have other suggestions.