Schools that draw screen-free families?
Hello all,
My 8.5 year old is homeschooling for a couple of years, and before that she used to attend a Waldorf school on the east coast. We are looking at schools in the east bay for the fall of 2018, when she will be entering 4th grade.
As we emerge from our Waldorf and homeschooling bubbles, (and there was no tv available where I grew up in India) I am concerned about how kids in non-Waldorf schools use screens on playdates.
Our home is tv-free, and our daughter has watched a handful of movies in her life. We occasionally watch documentaries. On playdates she and her friends put on plays, pretend-play, play with dolls, draw, get goofy, run around and just... play... without the use of a screen. Screens are something they just don't think about much. They don't even seem to play with board games very much - but mostly just indulge in imaginative play.
While we are looking at progressive schools in the area, are there schools in the east bay that you find - in particular - tend to draw families that avoid screens on playdates at home? (or is Waldorf the only way to go if you want that?) We are looking at schools like Aurora, Park Day, the Berkeley School, Berkwood Hedge.
Any screen-free families out there? And if so - how is your school working out for you as far as playdates with other kids go?
I just want her creative imagination to be nurtured as long as possible, and am concerned about the time that screens gobble up. She will be entering 4th grade in 2018
Thanks for your time and suggestions.
Parent Replies
Screen-free will work for playdates at your house (your house-your rules), but you may have to accept that other houses have different rules, about a lot of things. such as junk food, video games, bad language, etc. We were screen-free while my daughter was younger and I thought (naively, duh) that everyone else was too (and seriously this was 15 years ago!). 4th grade is a good time for her to start making her own decisions and speaking up for herself. Maybe if she is at a friend's house and the friend wants to do screens, coach your daughter to suggest an alternative.
East Bay Waldorf School in El Sobrante. If no-screens is really important to your family this may be a school to consider. I have no personal experience with the school but I know they have a beautiful campus. Also there is the Berkeley Rose School. They both discourage any use of screens until middle school I believe. I'm sure meeting other Waldorf leaning families will make it easier to avoid screens while on play dates. But reality is that as she gets older it will be more difficult to control what goes on outside your home. We can only hope that the values and beliefs you have taught her so far will guide her in her choices.
My child attended a small school in Berkeley that had many screen-free families (also many unvaccinated children but that's another story for another time.) We are not a screen-free family, although like everyone else in the East bay, we don't park our child in front of a screen. Our son changed to this little school in the 4th grade, going into a class where all the other kids had been at the school since kindergarten and had formed close bonds. But he was immediately welcomed - it was a fantastic experience for him and we all loved the school - and he soon became a very popular playmate with many playdate invitations. I began to get phone calls from some of the moms asking me what our screen policy is. Their kids were telling them about video games our son was talking about (at the time, he played very benign games like Mario).
At first I thought they were asking my advice, because we have two older kids that had been through the video craze, and theirs were all mostly singletons just hearing about video games. Then I realized they did not allow screens at their homes and they were worried about their kids being exposed to screens at my house! haha! It all worked out because it was a transition they would go through no matter what - children at 9 and 10 are getting to the age where they want more control over their friends and their activities. The other parents were grappling with this. I described the games my son played and the movies and TV we watched as a family - great stuff like Merlin that they had never heard of. I invited them to come watch. I think reassured them, and gradually their attitudes toward screens changed. Some of them still kept their no-screen policy at home, and that was fine - when my son visited, the kids did other stuff or they were taken on outings like bowling or swimming. Nobody complained! And the parents were OK with their kids playing video games at my house or watching Merlin episodes. Of course we also have giant crates of legos, lots of board games, musical instruments, a nearby park, so it was not all-video all-the-time. But it was not seen as a taboo activity either, that they could only do at our house. Typically the kids would do a variety of stuff, both on screen and off. By the 6th grade most of the kids had acquired game systems themselves, like every other 6th grader everywhere, and by middle school they all had phones, because they were now taking public transportation, and staying late for sports and classes and etc. and they needed to have a phone. So even the kids that were not allowed screens now had tiny screens (and BTW one of these no-screens kids now has a major problem with phone addition, whereas I can barely get my high school junior to turn on his phone so I can text him!) They are all in high school now, still good friends and they still hang out together, and are all thriving. So in summary I would say, 4th grade is a time of great change, go into it with your eyes open, but also be open-minded, and you might be surprised!