Recent autism diagnosis for an almost 2 year old
Hi BPN,
We recently got an autism diagnosis for our amazing kiddo who is about 21 months. It didn't come as a huge surprise -- he has a speech delay, is a sensory seeker, and social interactions don't come super naturally to him. But he's otherwise a really happy and healthy toddler, and absolutely loves going to parks and to daycare (and has thrived since starting in a toddler classroom a few months ago). We're planning on sticking with his current speech, OT, and IDS through the Regional Center, instead of opting for ABA at this juncture. But beyond that -- we're a bit at a loss about what's "next." I know that's an impossible question to answer, so we'd love to find a community of other parents of kids with autism, or learn about great resources for parents or toddlers in the East Bay (or greater Bay Area) who are facing a new diagnosis.
Thanks!
Parent Replies
Congratulations on your son's diagnosis! Autistic mom of 2 autistic kiddos here, want to start out by saying thank you for steering clear of ABA. Don't know how much research y'all have already done, but most autistic adults (and a fair bit of research) feel that behavioral therapies don't work great for autistic kids and tend to have a focus more on trying to make the kid "act normal" than on building skills to help make their life less stressful and overwhelming.
Because this idea--and the neurodiversity movement--are still relatively new to a lot of people, neurodiversity-affirming groups are sometimes still hard to find. I'd highly recommend starting with some online resources put together by autistic adults: the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network has a "book" (really more like a long pamphlet) called Start Here that's aimed at families who've just had a kid diagnosed. There's also tons of great content available online from autistic therapists (OTs, PTs, speech, mental health providers) that I can connect you with if you're interested (will avoid infodumping loads of them here). My 5-year-old and I are part of an informal playgroup that meets on alternate Monday mornings at Point Pinole and is basically entirely neurodivergent families; I'd be happy to give you that info too or connect you with the coordinator off-list if you're interested in checking it out.
Short-term "things to do at home" -- keep loving your kid and engaging with his interests (special interests are our love language!) and trying to meet his sensory needs. Read stuff written by autistic adults about life as an autistic person. And just food for thought--since autism is highly genetic, if you've got a kid with a diagnosis, it's very likely that at least one of his bio parents is autistic, too. So maybe reading a book by/about autistic adults might be interesting for you.
Happy to chat lots more if it's helpful, feel free to reach out.
Its a bit early, but consider a social skills group most often found through a speech therapy clinic. My son who has HF ASD and SPD started at age 4 and its been one of the best therapies he’s done. He still goes and is 10.5 years old and its been very helpful in teaching him appropriate social behaviors. Its covered by insurance if billed as group speech therapy or pragmatic speech therapy.
Hi,
I am glad you are not considering ABA, as there is a lot of research and testimonials from actually autistic adults about how they consider it abusive. Things you can do to learn more from autistic adults is to join the FB group Autism Inclusivity. There is also a Neurodiversity Affirming Parenting Bay area group where parents are more educated on neurodiversity rather than a behaviorist approach. Another thing you can do to figure out if your child is a Gestalt language processor or not is to find the right speech therapist who is actually trained to provide neuro-affirming and GLP-tailored services. The easiest way to identify is if your child uses echolalia or not. You can learn more about it from the IG account, Boho Speechie, or Meaningful Speech (they also have a parent course to help you understand your child better). Happy to answer more questions!