Psychiatrist for help with anger toward teen & family
I've always thought of myself as a pretty level-headed person. I'm successful in my job and happy in my marriage. I have a loving relationship with my kids while tending towards a bit more strict in my parenting style (ie not letting my teenager go out with shorts where her bum hangs out, being consistent with cell phone rules i). I think of myself as pretty content with my life despite some financial stresses.The last couple years, I've noticed sometimes I get so angry at a small provocation and am not inhibited to have 'words' in a public space--not yelling, but expressing my displeasure in a forceful way. Usually, this lasts less a minute and then I need a few minutes to process and decompress and then I can move on. This only happens with family -- mostly my husband and teenager. The issue is that my husband and teenager are telling me that my behavior is not ok for them (my teenager tells me I am 'scary'). In addition, I get irritated easily, and the last couple months, I've noticed that curse words slip out around my teenager when I never used to curse around my kids. I think that I'm worried because my Mom (mid-70s) used to be super even keeled and as she has aged she has become more easily irritated, will 'go off' on a family member at a family gathering in an embarrassing way, and in more recent years makes odd comments (about politics) that we don't agree with and at a loss of how to respond to. I guess I'm worried that as I age (mid-40's) my brain chemistry is changing such that I'm turning into my Mother. I don't want to damage my relationship with my husband and kids and wonder if an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medication would help. So long story short, am looking for advice and also recommendations for a psychiatrist to see if medication would help. Thanks!
Parent Replies
First, props to you for paying attention to the feedback you're getting from your beloveds.
Secondly, you don't mention whether you're still having your period, whether its changing or not or whether you've got any sleep disruption. In my mid-40s (my wife tells me) I started to get quite short-fused and my sleep wasn't great. After one weekend where I felt like I was spewing fiend-fire with every word I spoke to my family, I saw my OB-GYN and started low-dosage hormone replacement therapy. It changed my life. Before psychiatrist for meds I'd suggest making an appointment with your OB/GYN.
Best to you.
I am 46 and started taking a very low dose of Prozac about 8 months ago for this very reason. Two of my female colleagues told me that they had started taking antidepressants around this age for irritability - I took the hint that other people had noticed my temper. As I am headed toward menopause, I think I only really need the Prozac when I have PMS, but that's not how it works, so I take it every day. I resisted it for a long time, but I have to say that I am so much happier. The medication allows me to respond to situations in the way I think I should, where as before, I would explode before I had a chance to think things through. My family has definitely noticed a change!
okay, have you ever thought you might be going through the change of life. It can happen as early as the mid-40's so see your doctor soon. Also, do you have a close friend or friends that you spend time with who also have children/child life yourself? Do you have them as an outlet? Sounds like you need someone to help you find balance. Call your insurance company and see what resources they have for you to get help that way. Don't automatically think you need meds. What you are going through is normal and it happens. Be patience with yourself. Sometimes it is best to walk away from a situation when you feel you are about to get out of control. You need space and ability to breathe. As for the family member, my sister says and does things that are completely inappropriate and uncontrollable so I limit the time my family members spend around her. Perhaps you need to do something similar. Remember to apologize for going off the deep end. Trust me, I understand, I am a very expressive person, with little filter and have raised our child in a fairly strict household. Our daughter is 19 and we have just let go of the ropes. We have done our job, but it is hard not to be a control monster. Be very glad that your husband teen are willing to be open and not afraid of you to express their feelings. They love you! Remember to love yourself also. You are not your mother, but as we get older, we tend to notice traits that are similar to what we experienced as kids ourselves. Trick is to move past it. Again, talk to your insurance company to find help.