Preschool teachers not handling child who bites
We have our 2.5 year old in a language immersion preschool. There is a child who bites in his class and our son has been bitten five times in a few months, and none of the teachers know how to handle it the right way, such as through a variety of empathetic driven strategies, and they have given little education or guidance to us parents, other than the fact that it is normal childhood behavior.This experience has got us thinking maybe we need to look into daycares, preschools, and elementary schools for our little one that emphasizes teacher training and quality of teaching, and a smaller class size. I was wondering if you all have any recommendations in the east bay for such a type of school. I know there is a shortage of qualified teachers and would love to get honest recommendations from actual parents about high quality preschools.
Thanks!
Parent Replies
We are at Montclair community play center (MCPC) and I have been blown away by the support and emphasis/knowledge of child development from the teachers.
It’s a co-op so there’s a big parent involvement piece to it but I’ve learned so much about parenting and how to best care for my child by having her go there.
I will often go to the teachers for advice or help with my child and I ask them questions often. The community of parents is also lovely. I have been so pleased sending her there and really feel I’m setting her up with a good foundation for the rest of her life.
Happy to answer any other questions if you have any!
First, I want to say that I really feel for you. Last year my daughter was bitten by a fellow student at her preschool, and it broke the skin through her shirt. It took weeks to heal. What was extra frustrating was that he had bitten several other students before that, and bit several more after that. Like you it shook my confidence in the teachers skills. It was further shaken when the head teacher said she was going to watch a webinar on managing biting—on the one hand I appreciate seeking info and on the other hand I’m surprised this was a new issue. I reached out to some friends who are early childhood educators on the East Coast to find out how they would handle it or what they have seen and they also had concerns about the school staff not being able to address this. Basically what was recommended was glueing—a teacher staying next to the child who bites close enough to immediately intervene and intercept any attempts to bite. This is staff intense but it is what works at this age. My friend also suggested that the county usually has people who could come into a classroom and observe the child who’s got problematic behaviors to try to figure out what the base need is that’s not being met and they might shadow that child and then provide some specific suggestion to the teachers, and/or the parents. This was never explored. On the flipside, my sister lives in the south and she shared that at the preschool she was at biting was a automatic call for expulsion. (Maybe it was a two strikes and you’re out policy But no more than that). After all that the biter ended up moving onto another school, I think of their own accord, but those parents were doing the best that they know how to do, and I think felt incredibly sad and overwhelmed that their child was acting out in this way . They reached out to me after the child bit my kid to apologize. I think schools that are very focused on social emotional learning and development may do best with this behavior but it is also about teacher to kid ratio and about age of kids in one class. Often kids bite when their language skills aren’t yet ready to express their frustrations or fear or anger. So it’s usually 2s and less often in 3s and 4s.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. We have a 2.5 year old at a school that I would consider to have very well educated teachers and my daughter was still bit multiple times times by a child in her class. They brought in specialists to observe the child AND the teachers, changed his routine and added extra teachers to help, yet he’s still biting. I wish there were an easy fix (giving training to the teachers etc) but each child has their own challenges and each must be tackled independently 🤷♀️ It’s a bummer and very hard on everyone.
I love the preschool my child is at (Monteverde School), and one of the main reasons is because the teachers are really great. They have a solid understanding of normal toddler behavior and how to effectively deal with it. They are warm, nurturing, and great with boundaries! They take children from 2 years 9 months, and are located in the Elmwood neighborhood.