Possibly moving to Dallas

I grew up in the Dallas area (DFW) and now live in Berkeley, so here are my thoughts. Sorry in advance for the long-winded post.

- You'll probably get to have a huge yard but the weather is awful. Summers are unbearable; spring and autumn are tornado/storm season; and Dallas actually gets pretty cold during the winter. Even though I had much larger yards in DFW than here in Berkeley, I actually spend way more time outside now than I did then.

- Keep in mind that unless you're in an industry that is also super-hot in Texas, your pay will actually go down to compensate for that lower cost of living, so don't count on making in the same ballpark of that mid-200k salary unless you're in the defense, medical, or petrochemical industry.  (Yeah, tech is also hot in Texas, but not nearly as hot as in the Bay Area.)

- Do you like suburb living? Most of the good school districts are out in the suburbs. I hope you like subdivisions, cul-de-sacs, and strip malls. You can try to live in the more expensive enclave cities in Dallas proper (University Park, Highland Park, The Colony) but then you start erasing some of the cost-of-living benefit. With young kids, this might be a plus, but I know as a teenager I absolutely loathed DFW suburbs.

- If you do end up in the suburbs, you should know that most Dallas suburbs are very conservative. Growing up and gradually becoming more liberal there was pretty isolating. Even when I go back to visit family culture out in the suburbs still shows a lot of Bible Belt influences (football, mega-churches, football, social circles built around mega-churches, football, oh and did I say football?). Your family's experience may vary, but this conservative/religious culture was one factor out of several that contributed to me wanting to leave DFW pretty badly. You'll have better luck in Dallas proper with more progressive culture, but again getting into a good schools in Dallas might cost you more than you expect. That being said, I think it's easy for people to make fun of/pigeonhole Texas culture, but Texas and DFW are much more diverse than people generally expect, so even really conservative areas (I grew up in one of the most conservative counties in the nation) will have a wide diversity of cultures/ethnicities and will generally be friendly, so long as you aren't obviously counter-culture. (Though for all the reputation of southern hospitality, in Berkeley my neighbors and I actually talk and run into each other on the street, whereas this almost never happened in DFW suburbs.)

Obviously I prefer living in Berkeley/the Bay Area, even if it is the most rat-race-y place I've ever lived in. Growing up I aspired to live in some place that was not like DFW: fairly urban, progressive, tolerant, better weather, and dynamic; so take my thoughts with a grain of salt. Plenty of people find Dallas a great place to live (like my parents did). Just make sure to be realistic about what you want, and realistic about what a move would mean for your pay, the culture you and your kids will enjoy (or be subjected to), and schools. Texas schools on average are probably better than California, but really good school are even harder to get into than here (there's no "school choice" provision in Texas, so you absolutely have to make sure to buy in the right neighborhood).

I lived in the Dallas area for 25+ years.  I've lived in the East Bay nearly that long-- we moved here when our youngest was born-- he is now 24.  I return to Dallas 1-3 times per year to visit family.

For some people, a house and 'things' are very important.  If that is you, then Dallas will be a good fit as everything is cheaper.  In my experience, the weather was so hot in the summer that people mostly either hung out in their back yard at their pool, stayed inside their air-conditioned house, or shopped in air-conditioned malls (shopping is a big past time there).  For outdoor activity, we went to local lakes but still tried to avoid being outside in the hottest part of the day from 11am-4pm.  

I am an outdoor person so the bay area is heavenly to me-- we can easily get to the mountains or beaches in just a few hours and there are beautiful hills and hiking areas all around our house. When our kids were young, we spent lots of time on weekends at one or the other, enjoying the great outdoors.  We did not have a great back yard, nor a big, fancy house, but worked on them over the years and now they are quite nice.

Texas is in the 'bible belt' --religion runs deep and the politics are extremely conservative.  You will feel both in your everyday life there.  Not in explicit conversation, but in a million different ways.  There is definitely a redneck culture there as well-- In my latest trip to Texas this month, there was lots of talk about how happy everyone was about the new 'open carry' gun law in Texas so they could all have guns. This will be the environment your kids grown up in and what they see and hear in school.

I'll be eager to hear others' comments about Texas to see if anyone shares my views.  Good luck with your decision!

I'm a 3rd generation Texan now living--with hubby-- in El Cerrito for last 6 years (in an apt carved out of back of funky house).  We overlook Wildcat Canyon & pay 3 x as much rent as we did on our Texas home which was just one year from being paid off.  We come from Austin, Texas, where we owned 2 wooded acres with view of Lake Austin cliffs, & an awesome ranch-style house that we personally worked on for 25 years== & paid a pittance to purchase. We moved here to be nearer friends & other family members even though we couldn't afford it. Now we can afford it less...but are grateful to still be here. 

I feel Austin is the best place Texas offers.  Mostly I only "hear' what people say about Dallas, all of which has been expressed here in BPNers responses. My stays in Dallas have been short.  (There are some super museums there) Overall, Texans are friendlier everywhere in the state compared to folks here in Calif, but typically that's not the case if you're dark skinned, speak with an accent, come across as gay, etc.-- I'm fair skinned and blonde but I've witnessed how people can be treated because they don't talk, look and/or act 'right'.  (I have nieces & nephews--from a brother-- who are outspoken racists, as well as homophobic, war-mongering, lovers of weapons.  Obviously we don't speak about anything that'll rile them up)  I'm sorry to be negative about my tribe, my Texas.  There's something about that state I'll never git outta my bones, but oh lordy to move back..?..Ok, say we have to go back (where we no longer have a house-- and have decimated the profits from selling to move here) yes, we'd do it.  I mean ya gotta do what ya gotta do. For us, it'll help that in Austin we have wonderful Berkeley-minded, creative, loving liberal friends-- and a sister-- who'll welcome us back. ) Surely you can experience a healthy, freeing life in Dallas. Ultimately it'll be your attitude, don't you think?  I find that if I'm willing to let go of  fixed preferences, solid expectations, and ask to be open and present more & more, then I'm 'ok' no matter where I am, typically it's much more than just 'ok'.  Now that I and other BPNers have shared opinions/preferences with you (as you requested), golly I bet Dallas improves once you're living there. You've heard all the 'bad' so everything else will be mostly 'good' :))   Who knows, maybe Dallas will end up being THE best place for you & your family.    BTW: Living near the grandparents is an understandable draw.  All the best!