Nanny has been bringing her child once a week
Our new nanny is so great and really good with our baby (after going through so many wrong or not so nice ones). We're very happy with the way she loves and cares for our child. However when interviewing she never mentioned she wanted to bring her child along sometimes. Since she started she has been getting her child along, averaging about once a week. It has only been 2.5 weeks that the nanny has started so we don't know if this frequency is going to increase in the future. On one occasion she has asked just before bringing the child, other times she has brought the child and then asked if it's ok (and obviously what can I say in that situation).
We think our baby quite enjoys the company. However, I have myself seen (when I've been at home on such a day) that nanny's attention is definitely divided. Our baby is at an age where he needs to be constantly watched or he will hurt himself or will be putting something into his mouth that he isn't supposed to. Nanny's child is a little older but also needs attention to make sure she isn't up to something she shouldn't be. While I've been home one of those days, I've had to point out to the nanny a few times that my child was about to either trip or hurt himself because he wasn't being watched with all her attention. Yet, I haven't quite been able to point to her the reason for these almost about to happen incidents has been her divided attention.
What would your suggestion to? Broaching this topic can be sensitive, but it still is making me uneasy. And we're definitely paying more than nanny share rates because no concept of any kind of sharing ever came up during the interview.
Parent Replies
I'm sorry you're dealing with this--so tough! I think you first need to describe what outcome you want here. That can be 1) keep nanny, nanny does not bring own child; 2) keep nanny, nanny brings own child; or 3) new nanny. Personally I would not go with #1 because I'd be concerned about lingering resentment, and also about absences if there have already been so many days when whatever alternate care your nanny has set up has not worked out. So I'd decide between #2 and #3, and have the conversation accordingly. If you are okay with the other child, then you simply say "we love having X along, but we need to discuss what your rate will be on those shared care days" (and then negotiate a shared rate based on whatever your single child rate is). If #3, then you simply say "this is not working out--unfortunately we are really looking for one-on-one care for our child." Shared care is a different type of child care than what you contracted for, and that can be a pro or a con--but it would concern me deeply that your nanny did not bring this up and did not ask about bringing her child before arriving with her. For me, this would sadly mean the end of the care situation, since I need to be able to trust care providers to share this type of information upfront (especially given that this is a new situation with no established ties yet). But you may feel differently, and should go based on your own assessment of the situation. Good luck!
I think your nanny made a contract with you and she has changed those terms without your permission. You need to make it clear to her now that you don't want her to bring her child with her. The longer you let this go - the harder it will be. You might want to offer her the opportunity to bring her child with her once the children are older but tell her now that you don't want her to divide her attention. Good luck - a delicate matter but you are within your rights. Good luck.
If your baby is getting divided attention and not one on one care, you should be paying share rates. If this is a once in a while occurrence I would let it go, but a once a week is too often. You should mention to her that you would like her to focus solely on your child and if she would like to bring her child in once a week you would like to discuss a share rate. You could also mention that you are considering a share with another kid to reduce cost and see what she says, she might offer a share with her child instead. If your kid really likes the company I personally would rather do a share with another family and get the reduced nanny cost then have the reduced attention while paying full nanny rate. Good luck.