Middle and High School for nerdy kids?
I've got a tween child who is smart but has ADHD. They are becoming increasingly socially isolated and are feeling "not normal". I'm probably biased, but I think my kid is cool and interesting. I'm sad to see my kid feeling so out of place at school. I'm wondering if there are schools in Oakland where my kid has a higher chance of finding friends with similar interests.
Kid loves D&D, Star Trek, chess and most board games that involve strategies, The Simpsons, Ken Burns documentaries, Stranger Things, video games, rock music from the 80s and the 90s, and musicals. Kid does not like sports but likes to sing, act, and dance. I wouldn't say my kid is exceptionally talented in singing or dancing, but it's something they enjoy. My kid is a pretty decent actor.
We're open to private, charter, or public. Really any type of school where there might be enough kids that share similar interests. I wonder if school is just going to be hard for my kid for a few years until they go to college. Kid prefers talking with adults than peers at this time and I am concerned about my kid's social life and development.
Parent Replies
My child has many of these same interests and they have found their people at Head-Royce. Their is a d&d activity at school. They go to math club at lunch sometimes. It is truly fun to be a nerdy kid there right now. There is a big robotics club as well.
Oakland School for the Arts seems like the perfect fit for your child. I would highly recommend looking into it. My kids go there (OSA) and I'm happy to talk with you about it more if you want to get my email from the admin.
If your child enjoys math, consider Proof School. Many students there share your child's interests. My neurodiverse son absolutely loved his experience there! Don't be turned off by the commute, check it out first. Most of the students' commute, many from the Oakland/Berkeley area.
Hi - I'm sorry your kid has been feeling isolated. Look at Black Pine Circle in Berkeley. My kid is in 7th and we've been really happy with the program. There's a diverse group of kids with lots of different interests. There are about 60-65 kids in each grade. My kid has similar interests to yours and has done both D&D club and drama club after school and loved both. Every grade also has drama and music classes during school. Some of the other clubs they offer are makers club, cartooning, gardening, math, dance. You don't say what grade your kid is in, but the applications for 6th grade for next year are due pretty soon.
Hi! Your kid sounds cool and will find his place with time. We have a sensitive, quirky and somewhat academic daughter -- not into sports or music but loves dance, drama, science and maker projects and art. We started her in 6th grade at Black Pine Circle and she is now in 8th grade and really thriving. It has really brought out her confidence and leadership skills. It's the sort of place that every kid should be able to thrive. It's small but not too small. There are a lot of Oakland kids, many who take the bus together from Rockridge BART, and many carpools. Good luck!
My kid is in fifth grade at Aurora School and will be staying for middle school. Your kid sounds like very much the vibe of Aurora and it's worth checking out.
I would run-don’t-walk to check out Pacific Boychoir Academy in Oakland for your child. Our child has moderate ADHD, is crazy witty and smart, and has truly found his niche in PBA’s microschool for grades 6/7/8. This is a group of boys who sound extremely similar to your kid. (In fact, my boy is reading this over my shoulder and saying “check, check, check … although he wants to know if your child plays Warhammer or would want to be in Cooking Club! Ha!)
The music/singing aspect of the school is something very unique and special. There’s a hyperfocus and peer-bonding thing that we’ve found remarkable. Half the boys enter with formal singing experience, the other half are just winging it to start. The kids also get these cool and esteem-building opportunities like singing with the SF symphony and National Anthem at sporting events,
Anyway, it’s a very special place for our boy and our family. Now we just can’t imagine him anywhere else.
Hi, Fellow Parent of a Nerdy Kid!
I have two nerdy teens myself, and oh boy do I relate to your story. Watching your incredible, imaginative, smart, fun kids struggle to fit in is really painful. Luckily, we live in the Bay Area where there are other kids like them; the trick is just how to find them. Our family has had the opportunity to try an assortment of public and independent schools in the area, and I can wholeheartedly recommend the one we finally found for our kids: Maybeck High School.
Maybeck High School is the only school in the Bay Area where both the teachers and kids are truly committed to honoring the student's emergent individuality. The kids at Maybeck do not spend a lot of time norming clothing and speech patterns and policing one another to conform to a particular teen ideal. This is immediately evident when you see them in a group. They are as diverse as you could imagine. Some kids at Maybeck are on track to graduate with proficiency in several languages and linear algebra. There are pre-professional musicians, aspiring astrophysicists, jocks, performance artists, and soon-to-be scientists. It's a place where being smart is cool and Dungeons and Dragons is so omnipresent that there are competing DMs with various campaigns.
The classes are taught at a college level using original texts, essay writing, labs, experiments, and group projects. Both my husband and I attended prestigious small liberal arts colleges and we are always excited to see what our kids are learning and working on. Our eldest's biology teacher has a PhD from Stanford in Human Biology and their writing teacher graduated from Oxford in the UK! The community is small (around 100 kids) and they do whole-school camping trips at least twice a year. There are always bike trips associated with the camping trip, for those who are interested, and there is a local Maybeck outing almost every weekend for those who want to participate. Perhaps the most fun trip annually is in the Special Programs weeks in the spring. The students sign up for a program of their choice and then they, and their group of kids, go on an adventure with two faculty to learn about whatever the topic is that was chosen for the program. Students have gone to Cuba to learn dance, France to learn about food, and Japan to find the origins of anime!
The best part about the size of the school, small classes, and all of the camping and off-campus activities, is that the kids really get to know each other. There are no strangers at Maybeck. It's truly a hidden gem in the Bay Area. Good luck with your search for high schools, and hope to see you next fall!