Marijuana and 14 year old son - I don't have custody
I obtained evidence of my 14 year old son smoking/vaping marijuana and selling wax pens, by invading his privacy and logging into his account. I have not lived with him since he was five years old. I have no custody. Our interaction is limited. How can I bring about this evidence to the father, so that he can place rules upon our son? As currently, father travels and son has free range. Also it is essential this does not break my already fragile relationship and trust with my son.
Dec 9, 2019
Parent Replies
I'm sorry you are in this very difficult position. Teens all over are experimenting with cannabis and more. It's truly an epidemic problem.
You might take a look at:
https://drugfree.org for loads of information on the topic,
as well as https://the20minuteguide.com for parents that you could share with your son's father.
Both resources might also give you ideas on how to support your son while improving your relationship.
Your situation is all the more difficult because you do not have custody, but the doesn't mean you can't influence the situation. Best to go in positively with care and concern and without criticism or judgement (easier said than done). The hardest part will be whether the father is receptive. If he's not, it's likely there is very little you will be able to do to sway him. You may need to focus your energies on building a positive relationship with your son to find out why he's engaging in this behavior, and supporting him in a healthier direction.
Good job addressing it early. Cannabis is not benign, despite popular opinion. (From one who's adolescent is years deep in addiction to cannabis, and whose father enables use.)