Looking for info about donor milk
Hi!
I'm a transgender dad who is pregnant right now with my first and possibly only child, and I'm trying to see if it's possible to get her human milk for a while after we go home from the hospital (due date: 11/25/24). I cannot produce any milk on my own, and while I don't have a huge problem with using formula, I did want to try to get the baby at least some access to donor milk for a few weeks for the health benefits.
She will get it in the hospital at UCSF, but I don't think I will have the capacity to get it for her for more than a few extra days after that--it seems like the Mother's Milk bank has stopped accepting Medi-Cal for payment, and the cost per ounce is not feasible for us ongoingly even for something that would be so helpful to have. I'm a single parent with a mobility impairment and other health issues and no family support, so it also might be hard to travel around a lot looking directly postpartum. My lactation consultant told me that this would be a good starting place to ask if anyone knew how to make this work.
So--does anyone have any donor milk leads in the East Bay or suggestions about what else I could do? I'm living in Downtown Oakland right now but possibly moving to Berkeley near Ashby BART before giving birth.
Parent Replies
Congrats on being about to become a new dad! The Facebook group Human Milk for Human Babies is a great place to post. I've also seen milk offered on local buy nothing groups. If you're lucky you'll find someone with an oversupply who will have a recurring stash. Wishing you a safe delivery!!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! The Facebook group human milk for human babies is a really good place to look for folks donating their milk. If you’re lucky, you might be able to find someone who is willing to donate to you on a regular basis. https://www.facebook.com/HM4HBCA
good luck!
You can find Human Milk for Human Babies facebook groups where moms with extras post. You might even be able to start up a relationship with someone locally who could support you longer term. Good luck! Always remember that fed is best. I have one kid that was formula (through his preference) and one that was breast fed until 21 months but never took bottles and both are happy, healthy, and all the other things you want for your kids. Don't stress too much esp since it sounds like you already have on your plate!
I used Human Milk for Human Babies Facebook group. You can monitor offerings, but also post an ISO (in search of) with your location.
It does require some work as in thinking ahead if you have any questions to donors (the group will have some guidelines) as well as driving to pick up the milk. If you have any friends who are able to help, the pick up is something they could do. But people are able to find either large quantities at once or find a recurring/ continous donor nearby.
Check out the Facebook group specifically for breast milk: Human Milk 4 Human Babies. I’ve donated in the past to families in the Bay Area and I’ve seen other donor moms in Oakland looking to donate their milk.
Hi! Congratulations on becoming a parent!
I would just plan on using formula for your kid. There are so many things to be stressed out about as a new parent, and I just wouldn’t add this one to your list. That’s what my wife and I have done for each of our two children. When I looked at the data, it appeared to me that much of the gains from breast-feeding were actually explained by the value of coming from a rich family where the parents have time to do it.
Take a look at this recent op-ed the NYT. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2024/07/31/opinion/natural-parenting-childbirth-science.html
Good luck!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Try Human Milk 4 Human Babies on FB.
Try Human Milk 4 Human Babies. It's a global organization matching milk donors with recipients. It's not treated/tested/pasteurized like from a milk bank, so it's up to your own risk tolerance whether you want to accept someone's milk. He's the CA group: https://m.facebook.com/HM4HBCA/
Hi! I have a 6-month-old and pump daily. I have some extra frozen milk. I’ve donated in the past to other local parents who’ve asked for milk for their babies. I would be happy to share some of my frozen milk with you. I take only prenatals as far as meds go, and all of it is milk I would give to my own baby. Please feel free to contact me directly and we can figure out a transfer! Your baby is so lucky to have such a loving and committed dad.
Hi! And congratulations. I would recommend joining Human Milk 4 Human Babies- California. It’s a very active Facebook group that enabled me to keep my baby fed. Both donors and those looking to receive post regularly.
Congratulations, and it's great that you recognize the value of human milk for you new baby.
Have you contacted Mothers Milk Bank directly to inquire about Medi-Cal coverage, or other sources for access? They are generally very responsive to queries. Their new website is: https://camilkbank.org/
In addition to the FaceBook site mentioned already, another option for sourcing peer-shared donated milk is Eats on Feet: https://eatsonfeets.org/
For both of these peer-shared resources of donor milk, know that there is no formal screening process, so it is up to you to determine what you are comfortable accepting. Eats on Feet has a page on safe milk sharing. You might want to ask donors to label time of milk expression, and try to feed night milk at night (it has higher melatonin levels) if possible.
You state that you are unable to make any milk, but I wanted to be sure you know that you [and/or your partner(s)] can still feed your child at chest using a supplementer if you choose to. If you are not already connected to a knowledgeable lactation consultant, you might find that helpful.