Local resources/groups for families with donor-conceived kids?
We just moved to Berkeley from London, UK with our twins (aged nearly 4). The twins were conceived using donor sperm in the UK and we were very active in the Donor Conception Network and really enjoyed connecting with other families who had also used donor gametes (eggs, sperm, both, embryos) to have their children. We found that there were lots of on-going issues that we were able to talk with other families about - like when/how to 'tell' (both children and others in their or your lives like teachers, friends etc), how to support difficult questions etc.
Through the DCN we went to annual meetings but also more informal local groups where we got together for a drink to check in, and occasionally had picnics with our kids etc. The hope is that as the kids grow up it will be helpful for them to know other donor-conceived children as well so as to normalize it.
Does anyone know of a local group(s) that we could join to discuss any or all of the above? Just FYI we are a heterosexual couple who used an unknown ID-release donor from a sperm bank, and have already been very open with our kids about their conception (not always smooth but we try!) but we're really up for meeting up with others in our situation or gay couples/single parents/others at different stages of their "telling" journey etc.
Or if such a thing does not exist and you are a parent of a DC-child(ren) would you be interested in meeting up? We can be really respectful about privacy of course.
Parent Replies
I'm not aware of local groups outside of LGBT family groups such as Our Family. My wife and I are a lesbian couple with donor conceived kids, and we've actually found a great network of like-minded parents through the Donor Sibling Registry (donorsiblingregistry.com) - they have a Facebook page where you could post this exact question and possibly get some responses. In addition, through the registry, we've found and connected with other families who used our same donor, and it's been great for sharing the ins-and-outs of raising DC kids.
My son is 17 yr and is a donor sperm baby. We also wondered when we would tell my son and one day it presented itself when he was in about 4th grade. We were filling out the US census data and it asked a question about whether the child in the household was the biological child of the parents. We told him then, he was not phased, and went about his life. It was perhaps our issue more than his issue. I have never heard of such an organization here in the US but have not looked for one either. Although I have never felt the need for an organization you are inquiring about, I have met donor egg children and adopted children and their families, and enjoyed the conversations and know I can reach out to them. If you are looking for community in your new home (Welcome!) perhaps you can find a twins community. I have seen postings for those communities on BPN.