Kids getting hurt at preschool
We have a child at a co-op preschool that has a new director. There are two kids with really extreme behavior issues (throwing chair and large toys and hitting other kids repeatedly including in the head) many times in 3 hour morning. Parents have said it was same thing last year, which we wish we’d known.
The two kid’s parents know what’s happening and a lot of the other parents have talked to the director but she’s won’t ask the families to leave. Our child likes their friends at the school and we don’t want them to have to change since they haven't done anything wrong. We also don’t want them to get hurt and think that this is normal behavior.
Any suggestions?
Nov 2, 2024
Parent Replies
We had a similar situation at a preschool several years ago and reported the childcare facility to the state of CA..
Children have a right not to be harmed at daycare, the facility our son was at was found to be in violation of this right..
https://www.cdss.ca.gov/inforesources/ccld-complaint-hotline
Wow, I'm surprised the director won't address these serious behavioral issues with the families. I think you and the other families might have to threaten to walk. Sometimes it takes a major financial impact to wake school directors up to the wildly inappropriate behavior.
Hello. I had a similar experience at a preschool and the student hitting kids had several targets. One of the parents filed a complaint with the school board. This launched an investigation which has to be publicly known and posted at the school. I was interviewed as a part of the investigation and sent emails that I kept records of to show how many instances there was of hitting and working with the school. Eventually I believe the family was asked to leave and I think the investigation was a big impact on this decision.
Here’s a link that could help get you started. Realistically if the school and parents cannot manage the child’s hitting then they should find a school that’s a better fit to target the behavior and potentially seek medical intervention.
https://www.cde.ca.gov/re/cp/
Hitting and throwing things are not necessarily indicators of "extreme" behavioral issues, in fact, they are developmentally normal in preschool aged children. Aggressive behavior in preschoolers is often a result of their limited language skills, impulsivity, and egocentric nature. Boys in particular are more likely to be aggressive than girls at this age.
I am guessing that one of the reasons that you and these other families joined a co-op was to have access to a community where families support one another. No parent wants their child to hit, and these parents are likely doing all they can to help their child through a very challenging time in their development. I can tell you from experience that it is an incredibly painful, embarrassing and isolating experience when you discover rhat your child becomes easily dysregulated and is having difficulty controlling their emotions in social settings.
Instead of trying to get these families kicked out of preschool, perhaps you could try to support them? You could try to work together with the director and all parents in the co-op to provide an environment that does not overwhelm the kids that are having trouble controlling their feelings and impulses. For example, some kids respond well to more structure and routine, less open ended play, smaller play groups, and taking breaks when they start to get overstimulated. Yes, these kids may take more resources and oversight, but they exist and are just as deserving of empathy, care and socialization as the less challenging kids.
And I can guarantee you, those parents are probably already looking into a school for next year (or sooner) that better fits the needs of their kids...