Gerontology Support Suggestions
I'm not even sure where to begin on my question, but my father just passed away and my octogenarian mother is dealing (and has been dealing for some time now) with some slight undiagnosed cognitive and depression issues that my dad kind of helped her with. She also uses a walker and lives far away from my brother in an independent living senior home and has a very nice helper that comes almost everyday in the mornings to help her out with showering, etc. to start her day. She's quite crabby, negative, stubborn, and has refused to move closer to us for years, however, I think we may have to have her do so after she has some time to adjust to life without my dad, but I guess my question is if someone can suggest some kind of a gerontologist or advisor to bounce some ideas off of and some suggestions on how to best work with her needs to essentially to help her best comfortably live out her remaining years physically and emotionally. Also, I'm wondering if it would be good to find a gerontologist in her area as opposed to locally. Appreciate any advice. Thanks.
Parent Replies
If she is basically content with her current living situation and residence (aside from the sadness of losing her partner) I wouldn't proceed down the road of moving her. I think you or your sibling should accompany her to a visit with her GP and get some baseline evaluations done, and discuss the depression - not surprising with her loss, even if it existed before. Both my inlaws started anti depressants around age 85 or so. Maybe it will help with some of the negativity, or at least take the edge off for you and your sibling.
Yes to seeing a gerontologist -- they can be such a good resource in managing this next stage of care and have that extra expertise.. Also check in to what services are offered through her local county agency on aging. Depending on her resources, she may qualify for some case management or they can help connect you to case managers. My siblings and I have found a lot of peace of mind by having a case manager involved with my dad who lives far away from all of us.