Upset about 12-year-old's scoliosis diagnosis (Part 2)
After my son has scoliosis, my life turns down. I feel so bad for him and for me. Can't accept this. From now on, life is no longer happy. I have no life anymore. Life is not worth for living. I wake up in fear every day. I cry easily and my heart is hurt so much. I falls asleep around 9 pm and wake up in the middle of the night then can't sleep back. My legs and hands are numbed and frozen. This is the end of the world. Should I continue this life or anyone can help?
Dec 3, 2016
Parent Replies
You need to reach out for help today. Yes, life is work living and you need to be there for your son. Call the Berkeley Free Clinic right away - they offer counseling and can give you advice: (510) 548-2570. If you have a plan to end your life, call suicide hotline now. 1-800-273-8255. Do it for your son and do it for me, I don't want to see you leave this life!
Please, use the available hotline: U.S. Helplines US Suicide Hotline 1-800-784-2433. They'll know how to direct you to talk with the right people.
Yes, you should continue this life. Your son needs you
I just saw your message on the weekly Parent Q&A email today, and felt compelled to contact you. I'm sorry to hear you are in pain. I want you to know that the way you feel can improve, even if you feel hopeless now. I have struggled with depression in the past, and it is very hard to have hope while you are depressed, but hope is always there. I worked with a therapist to figure out ways to combat my depression, and I'd strongly recommend speaking with a counselor or therapist if you haven't already.
Please get some help for yourself. I know the world feels like it is closing in on you-I've been in your same spot but you can feel better and life can feel worth living again. Please reach out to a doctor or therapist for help. Your child needs you and you can help him. Please call this number for immediate help
24-HOUR CRISIS LINECALL US
415 / 781-0500 or
800 / 273-8255
You've got a major depression and it is a serious illness.
For your son's sake as well as your own, please act now. You can start with calling Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255
I also recommend you contact your doctor TODAY to get a referral to a psychiatrist and MAKE AN APPOINTMENT. You probably will benefit from both medication and a referral to a support group for parents of children with scoliosis. If you can afford therapy, get that as well.
Regarding medication--a good psychiatrist will work with you closely to make sure you have the right prescription and dosage. I was terrified of taking medication (I listened to too much negative information), but it made all the difference for me. Get help now. DON'T GO IT ALONE.
Your message breaks my heart. Absolutely, this life is worth living. This is a rough time in your life, but life is constantly changing and this too will get better. Please, please seek out some help. The easiest first person to call is your Primary Care Doctor. Ask him/her to screen you for depression. If you have a managed care health plan, also ask him/her for a referral to Mental Health services. If you don't have health insurance, or if you'd just prefer not to call your doctor, call the Alameda County Crisis Line at 1-800-309-2131. They are available 24 hours a day. They will be able to connect you with support. You took a big leap by posting to this list asking for help. I'm glad you did. The way to get through this time is to reach out for support. I hope you will make the call. There are lots of people waiting to help if you will reach out. You WILL get through this.
Please do not harm yourself. You are depressed and everything looks terrible when you are depressed, but it can be better. I know this from my own experience- I have been suicidal in my life and was terribly depressed for a long time, but got help and have been very happy now for many years. IT IS POSSIBLE TO FEEL BETTER. It is good that you posted on BPN for help. There are people who can help you. Several other posts have provided numbers for you to call; call any of them! Also, if you have a doctor, call your doctor and tell him/her that you are severely depressed and need help.
Your son needs you. Scoliosis will not ruin his life, he will still be happy and successful. But you must help him. Please call your doctor right away, make an appointment for today, and tell your doctor what you just wrote here. Let your doctor help you with medications or counseling or whatever is needed to get past your depression.
In addition to all the good advice offered so far, I would recommend Liya Garber's Kundalini Yoga classes at Yoga Tree in Berkeley. This is by NO MEANS a substitute for professional help, but I have found this type of yoga a helpful supplement for me as I work through my own issues with depression. Wishing you much love and peace.
Hi, yes, life is worth living--YOUR life is worth your living it. I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now--but it will get better in time. You are distressed by what your child is going through, and that makes sense, but hold tight to the truth that he needs you so much. It feels like it takes forever when you are going through a painful situation, but things eventually improve. Get help today---call your doctor, call Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255, call a friend. Don't wait.
Scoliosis is not a death diagnosis. I had it as a kid and have run 10 half-marathons as an adult. Please, you need to get help for yourself. You are not putting this in perspective which says that you need help. Please, please find help for yourself.