Camp woes
I need some help with my anxiety around summer camps for my kids. I have a 6yr old and a 10yr old who are booked with camps most of the summer because both parents work. My older kid is easygoing about this - he's mostly happy to go (occasional grumbling about a particular activity), but he is pretty social, meets other kids easily and has a good time.
My younger son has a really hard time. He's anxious about new situations in general - and camp is hard. He worries about it before and is usually upset/crying when I leave.. At the end of the day, it's clear he pulled it together and had fun. We prepare him as best we can - we chose longer camps (2-4wks) to reduce the number of transitions, we go to the orientations, meet the counselors, talk and talk about what's going to happen, the schedule, etc.. but it's still so hard for him.
And for me! I'm feeling tremendous guilt and anxiety. I HATE leaving him when he's crying. I try to tell myself this is the kind of challenge that is character-building for him, but then I worry that we're pushing him too hard. He keeps crying, saying he want to go back to Kindergarten where he was comfortable. It's tearing me up!
Can I hear from some of you with similar kids how it went for you? Does it get better? Should I take him out and wait another year?
Parent Replies
I hear ya. I deeply regret sending my 5 year old (between K & 1st) to summer camps; he just wasn't ready for the variety of new environments. It was too overstimulating, no matter how engaging the subject matter and nice the counselors (and they aren't always that nice...), and he ended up very grumpy and anxious. Some kids need more summer downtime to grow into an appreciation of the camp thing, which I didn't realize at the time. Now he's 7, slightly more mature, and it's much better although I have tried to minimize the number of new camps as well as always sign him up with a friend. This may be the unpopular answer, but if you can - and I understand maybe logistically you can't - pull him out and keep him at home with a parent or sitter. Try again next year.
My son was a wreck when he first started summer camp at 6. It was AGONY. By the next year he was totally fine. Yours will be too! It's all a natural part of your kid's development. As for whether to take him out vs. keep him in, if there's a way to spy on him after he thinks you've left, that might be a good gauge of how distraught he is. I know my kid was fine after 1/2 hour and actually seemed to enjoy his day (though he wouldn't admit it). If it's the kind of camp where you can call the staff mid-day to check in might also be useful. Maybe even ask if they can pair him with a CIT or counselor so he has some consistency day to day.
Good luck! I know it sucks! But it will get better!