Bar Mitzvah Preparation
Hello, we are seeking bar mitzvah preparation for our 11-year old son. We are an interfaith family, and are looking for alternative ways to prepare our son than the traditional temple program. (we have contacted 3 reform temples, and they all had the requirement of 1) becoming a member, 2) signing up for Hebrew/Sunday school 3) using their tutors for preparation 4) using their temple for day of bar mitzvah. Each of the 4 steps had fees involved, which ended up to be $5000-10,000 total, not counting the cost of the celebration party)
We have been given the referral of Arik Labowitz? Would love to hear more about his services from the community.
Also, are there other referrals or suggestions that you can offer? We would love to hear them.
Thank you.
Joy
Parent Replies
Sacha Kopin not only did the Bar Mitzvah prep for my son, but she also performed the ceremony at Hillel in Berkeley as we are not members of any temple. She also did the prep and ceremony for his best friend whose family was interfaith. Ours was a traditional ceremony; theirs was a combination of Bar Mitzvah and coming of age ceremony. Sacha was amazing. She made it fun, meaningful, and memorable both for us and for the boys. Her fee was reasonable, and she was an absolute joy to work with. We still keep in touch with Sacha and highly recommend her to anyone looking for Bar Mitzvah prep. Sacha teaches at Beth El, and I believe she is still taking clients.
Sacha (510) 388-2474
(sachajk [at] yahoo.com); sacha [at] jasminecatering.com
Hi,
We used Arik for a tutor for our son several years ago and we still can't say enough wonderful things about him. We are a lesbian couple, Jewish and Mormon. We had the service in our backyard. Arik really knew how to work with our son, who was quite reluctant about the process. His service ended up being one of the most wonderful family experiences. We were so happy to do it outside of a synagogue, and in a way reflective of us as a family. I, the Jewish parent, felt in no way that the service was anything less than I was comfortable with, and my son was also completely comfortable with the way things turned out.
If you end up deciding to go the temple route, I can assure you that Temple Beth Sholom in San Leandro will cost you far, far less than the numbers you have seen so far. The Bna'i Mitzvah prep program with the cantor and the rabbi is exceptional. They only have a few kids each year, so the students get lots of individual attention and encouragement.
Arik is great. I've enjoyed attending services that he's led. If you want to know of other possible people to learn from, email me. I've been a member of Jewish Renewal congregations & Conservative shuls & there are some great teachers that can help him prepare without joining.
Wilderness Torah.
http://wildernesstorah.org/
We did not participate in this program, but I have heard good things about it.
Mazal Tov!
Arik is great! He does small group tutoring in his house leading up to the bar mitzvah ceremony and then will do the ceremony itself wherever you want. It can be at a community center, outdoors at a park, at your house, etc. You can really customize the experience to what you and your son want it to be. And there's no requirement to join a temple and use all their services, which would be fine if that's what your family wanted but it doesn't sound like it is. Plus he's just a wonderful human being and great teacher, musician, rabbi. We are not a very religious family (interfaith and non-observant) and working with Arik has been great. He is preparing my son for a bar mitzvah this fall and my husband and I have known him since he married us in 2003.
Best of luck.
hi Joy, our family is like yours---interfaith. we don't belong to a synagogue either nor did we join one when our son was bar mitzvah'ed. We held it at the Berkeley Hillel where you could also have the party. We used an independent rabbi but I'd go with the recommendations that you're getting from others. I had hoped to have the bar mitzvah and party at the same venue but it ended up being at 2 different places and added up to a lot of money. If I could do it again I would have a nice buffet lunch after the bar mitzvah for everyone who attends and then perhaps an evening party just for the kids (or not). Good luck!!!!
i second the recommendation for sacha kopin. she bat mitzvah'd both of our daughters, as well as several of my nephews. she is great at working with the individual and his/her needs, and really becomes a member of the family. she kept her calm when one of our daughters was diagnosed with pneumonia the morning of her bat mitzvah (!), simply asking what we needed from her and how can she help. she's warm and funny, but firm and lets the student know what she expects. all the ceremonies i've been to that sacha has been a part of have been very meaningful and memorable. we still keep in touch but our monday nights with her. sacha [at] jasminecatering.com
If at all possible, I would try to find a synagogue/community (Wilderness Torah?) for your child to join for the preparation. The Bar Mitzvah symbolizes joining the Jewish community, so it is helpful to see that the community extends beyond an individual family. Depending on your income, most synagogues will work out reduced fees if you need that. Perhaps you could visit a few and if you like one, meet with the Rabbi.