Assisted living costs

We went through this with my grandma. When you're considering costs, include your travel costs, childcare costs, and time off work into the cost of locations that aren't near you. Unless you have a sibling that is close by and will be doing everything, you'll probably be travelling a lot as time goes on.

The other thing to consider is that you want to move your mom one time only, while she's still in decent health and able to make connections. Old, unhealthy people typically die pretty quickly after being moved. We finally moved my grandmother out here and she was gone in a month. I really wish that I had pushed harder for her to move sooner when she could have handled it better and we could have spent more quality time together. It's hard because she would have been leaving her doctors, her church and her friends. I think that we made the wrong decision letter her stay in the midwest so long. She was fiercely independent and wanted to live off of her savings, something that would have been very difficult here. But I really miss her and wish that we would have had more quality time together.

I recently moved my father into assisted living at Merrill Gardens. He pays about $5,000 rent for a 1 BR apartment, which includes meals, DirecTV, utilities, phone, etc. He has very limited mobility and requires the highest level of care, which works out to be about another $5,000 per month, so $10,000 per month total. He manages his own meds. I think if your mother requires minimal help, then you are looking at $1,000 or so as a starting point for extra care depending on what she needs. They do an assessment using a points scale, so it's probably best to call places and find out. BTW finding assisted living for him has been a difficult process which I never thought I would be doing. His younger wife died suddenly, and he cannot take care of himself, so my siblings and I decided to move him close to one of us, and that is to me. Although $10K per month may sound like a lot, it's a lot less than the cost of having someone come into his home, which was $10,000 for 12 hours per day, and did not include his living expenses.

Merrill Gardens is a lovely facility, and the staff is friendly and helpful with one exception. One caregiver was so impatient one night (he moves slowly) and quickly shoved him into bed, re- injuring his back. This is clearly a case of physical elder abuse, and we are in the process of filing reports with social services. Also, the management leaves a lot to be desired. From what I can tell so far, these places are for profit, and so they hire as few staff as possible. There have been times when my father has waited 30 minutes for someone to take him down for a meal. One night no one came to put him to bed until quite late. The staff are kind, but seem overworked at times. Since your mother has mobility, this shouldn't be a problem, but she may need more help down the road, so try to figure out how quickly the staff can respond to her needs.

There's WILD variation, but $4-5K/month.

HI,

My dad moved into assisted living last april and we have been on a steep learning curve.

First, there are brokers who are familiar with their areas and can help you find a suitable place for your mom. We used Helen Lindberg hlindberg [at] carequest.us   She interviewed my dad and sent us stats on places she thought were worth checking out. She also set us up to meet with staff and have a meal there. (in one case we got better food at this meals than was actually served to the residents but didn't find out until dad moved in) She got paid from the marketing budgets of the place he moved into and does not charge you or your mom at all.

Cost is broken down into monthly rent for the space, care costs (which you will not get until they do an assessment which happens far into the process of applying) and meds which are broken out of care costs and depend on how many meds she takes. If she does her meds independently there is no cost for that. You should budget $1000/mo for care costs on top of the rent. Rent varies from place to place and private rooms are more expensive.

Dad wanted to stay in Oakland but they were all $5000 to $6000/mo so he's in the Pinole area - about $1000/mo cheaper. San Leandro has less expensive places. the farther out you go the cheaper it gets in general. 

You should also look into CCRC's if it's an option (continuing care retirement communities) - they can be a great deal if you can afford the buy-in fee which can be steep. These places commit to caring for their clients through all stages of their old age until they die - a big load of uncertainty is lifted - my mom is in one of these - still independent but we don't have to worry about her at all. If you can find a non-profit CCRC with good food that you can afford, go for it!

questions to ask:

how much and how often do you raise your rates? ask for a record of the last few years

whats the staff turnover?

What is the percentage of "memory care" clients and are they segregated from the community?

try to interview residents and family members of the places you visit - how long have you been here? do you have relatives here? (always a good sign if people are dragging family members to come too)

good luck!

I forgot to mention that I used my EAP as a resource for finding options. They can help you find places to check out all over the country. It was really helpful to receive a list of facilities to call and not have to spend time finding them myself.