Another 2-yr old eating question
My grandson, just 2, has always been a grazer when he does eat. He's extremely active, too busy to stop to eat and is often willing to let us bring him bites of food. A concern is that since infancy he has not seemed to equate the feeling in his tummy with hunger. Just doesn't recognize it. Instead he just gets "hangry" (touchy and whiney from lack of food). We are all trying very hard to not over-react. The last thing we want to do is make food a real issue for contention. But it is still worrisome especially, as I said, he doesn't seem to get that eating will make him feel better. And he is already pretty slight - always has been. We have yet to find something to eat that he loves. One idea has been to try to limit his milk intake. But besides that, has anyone got any idea how to get him to start listening to his body and eat when he's hungry?
Parent Replies
This is normal and I continue to go through this with my 4 year old son. I would not worry about it. He has many years to learn how to better listen to his body and unless his pediatrician is concerned with his growth curve or not getting proper nutrients then I'd just let it be. Offer healthy nutrient dense snacks frequently (protein helps a lot!). He's so young - give it time!
Sounds like a pretty typical two year old to me! It is def frustrating to be on the losing end of hanger! My son wasn't a big eater (still isn't really! He's 4.5 years old and I'd be willing to bet my 11 month old eats more than him at meal time.) We all sit down and eat together for breakfast, lunch (on the weekends), and dinner. We also offer snacks in the morning and afternoon (when he's home) and encourage sitting down for them. You can check out https://feedinglittles.com/ for more ideas. I've found their resources helpful. Good luck!
Chasing your 2 year grandson around with food will not establish a healthy meal routine! :D Put him at the table, at the same established meal- without distractions or any toys. Serve him a selection of plain healthy options with water. Serve milk last. In between meals should be limited to fruit and a maybe a half a piece of toast. If you fill him up on snack it is less likely he will have an appetite. Also some kids eat everything and some just graze, but everyone survives! Any pressure to eat both positive or negative will backfire as he has his own will. Best wishes!
Hello!! My 3yo was in a bad cycle getting so “hangry” he wouldn’t eat.
We made up a story about a (cute) hungry monster and how it transformed when eating.
It helps a lot, we now say the hungry monster is here and he starts eating.
He has a good appetite and interest in food though so I don’t know if this will help?
This seems pretty typical. But it's interesting that you hone in on not noticing hunger and 'passing go' to hanger. You are describing one aspect of interoception the sense for internal bodily and organ experiences (hot/cold, hunger, thirst, toileting need etc.). Occupational therapists work with this sense and help develop (or quiet the response to a oversized) interoceptive system. Narrate what hunger feels like to you. It's not intuitive that a rumbly in the tumbly means hunger. Talk about thirst and hunger cues as you put down a book, head to the kitchen to prepare or grab something, or place an order. Talk about what you do when you are hungry and food isn't available. This will help to teach somethings about interoception. Mindful eating exercises (not introduced as such) might be useful as well. Like the familiar 'hold a raisin on your tongue' one but keep it focused on taste, saliva flow, tummy, throat, tongue etc. You would lead at first, and maybe child would introduce other foods. You can also do puppet shows with stuffed animals that tell a 'social story' about missing hunger cues.
I agree with the other poster about sitting down for meals. You should not be chasing your grandson with a spoon of food. If you can do it, children should sit and eat with the rest of the family. If you can’t, then at least sit and eat with one caregiver. Eating is a social activity, and that’s how children learn to eat well, by copying adults! The expectations are children eat when the family eats, they sit while they eat, and they are not excused till they are done. Meals should be breakfast, small morning snack, lunch, small afternoon snack, and dinner. Once he leaves the table, the meal is done, and no food till the next meal/snack. No snacks or any nibbles outside of those eating times. Don’t serve milk till later if he fills himself drinking milk. And keep adjusting his snacks till you hit the balance between “hungry enough to eat dinner” but not “so hangry he won’t eat anything”. If your grandson can’t sit, try a high sided booster or a high chair with straps, instead of just a regular dining chair.
My son is very high energy and just wouldn’t stay in his seat, and was a picky eater, but it was a priority for us that he eat with us, so we really worked hard on it. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t always successful, but after enforcing it his entire life, now at 11 years old my son is a good eater and we can take him to any restaurant anywhere, and he eats with us and makes great conversation. Totally worth it!
You might try Ellyn Satter's books on children and eating, which essentially says, "You decide what to provide for food, child decides which and how much". This is more for you than the child because it helps allay some fears around children, nutrition and eating habits. On the flip side, while I think this it is all very good advice, but I do think for some stages, there is a legitimate concern on whether "my child is eating enough". For us, the big game that really worked so we didn't have to go to extremes of chasing our kids with spoons was distraction while my son was a very young toddler and not fully self-feeding yet. I allowed him to have at his table such things as: small toys (i.e. matchbox cars), some screentime for songs (this stopped after a year or so because we only used it so that he could sit still but we didn't want to encourage the habit of eating and watching tv all the time), having him feed a stuffed animal and whomever was also feeding him so that the action could be reciprocated, and letting him use cute utensils, even toothpicks (supervised), so that he could be excited about eating and picking his food up with different tools. Over time, I didn't feel he needed these 'crutches' anymore because we had established the habit of eating pretty well. Also, I made sure his plate always looked attractive and colorful (apples, carrots, cheese slices, etc.). Nowadays because he is older (5) and has had a chance to have sweets/dessert, there's a lot of negotiating where he has to finish his vegetables at least before he can get a cookie, or he has to have fruit first. But he usually complies. The other good advice I used was to keep offering the foods he didn't like, which also required some negotiating (just take one bite), but that has worked to have him come around to vegetables he didn't like before. Another tip that might help if you're in company is to have someone else outside of the family "share" their snacks/meals (which are really yours) because I know that my kids were always prone to eat other people's stuff for the novelty. This worked during playdates, where another mom and I agreed that we'd pack different vegetables because we knew the kids would always ask for what OTHER food the OTHER mom brought. Good luck!