Advice about switching preschools
Hi! I have a 4 yo who every morning consistently resists going to school. 4 out of 5 days she reports that she did not have a good day. I am concerned that this is because her current school is too structured and academically focused for her, and that she would benefit from a more play-based environment. Plus, she often complains that her teacher is too harsh. The catch is, she loves her friends and often seems fine once she arrives. I have the opportunity to move her (and her younger sibling) to a more expensive but play-based school. I love the philosophy of the new school, but worry that the transition will be tough for her. When we visited the new school, she seemed interested in all the play stations, but a bit uncomfortable and said "I don't want to go to this school." I'm not sure how much weight to give that declaration, as it was probably overwhelming to be in a completely new environment. Any advice from parents who have switched schools? Were your kids anxious about the change? Or, excited? How long did it take for them to adjust?
Parent Replies
I had the same situation with my older daughter.I kept her where she was and it was okay but not great.When it was time for my younger daughter to go to preschool I looked at more than twelve places,wanting to make a better choice.The school was great and then I felt like my older child was cheated of that experience.I wish I had made the change.
Hi,
We were in the same boat year. Our son attended a structured Montessori school. While we (as parents) loved the staff and other parents, our son resisted going to school every morning and would act out at school (which resulted in a lot of negative attention).
We ultimately decided to move him to a play based school (less structured with a focus on emotional-social development). We prepared him for the change by talking about it with him. We haven’t noticed resistance about going to school and he generally seems a lot happier. He stills asks about his friends from the previous school, and I will probably setup a play date with the old friends so he can still see them.
We switched our child to a preschool that was a better fit and he thrived from the very first day.
I did not move my child but thought about it. I resisted for the reasons you mention but in retrospect I feel I should have just done it. They make new friends easily at that age. This is especially true if your child is a recent 4 and has another year in preschool.
We switched our son from a play based school to a montessori one, so opposite of what you did. We switched because we got off the waitlist for the montessori school and simply wanted to try something different. Honestly I think the most important factor in this is how confident you feel about your decision - your child will follow your lead. I think the school has to be a fit for both you and your child - If you are sensing the school is not a fit, one of those is probably off.
When my kiddo was 4 we also switched preschool, it was a great preschool (my other kiddo also attended and loved it), but it just was not fit for my son. He really did not like going there and I just felt the teachers kind off had it after a few months with him not adjusting and not wanting to be there. We waited until the end of the school year before switching, because I was anxious about the switch and how it might affect him. But I never regretted it. He is a totally different person at his new school, absolutely loves it and it is more of a fit for him. As a parent you know your kiddo the best and if you feel the school is not a right fit, maybe it’s not and that’s OK. Good luck on making a decision!
Hello! Our family found ourselves in a similar situation. My twin boys were at a preschool that was VERY academic focused. While they responded well to the academics portion and did really well (they were subtracting by age 4!), they weren't really playing with other kids and were only playing only with the toys they wanted to play with. They started to tell us that school "wasn't fun" and that "they didn't want to go". When we went to the school to discuss these issues with the teacher, we mutually agreed that a play-based structure was a better fit for the boys for the next school year. We transitioned them out to a new school (shout-out to Broadway Children's School in Oakland!), and they absolutely love it. They're enjoying school once again, are trying new things, and interacting with all of their new friends. It was definitely the right decision to switch schools.
Like all transitions, there's bound to be a period of adjustment. Because our kids were ready to move to a new school, we never really had to do much to get them excited about their new school. Their new school really went out of their way to make our family and kids feel welcome. Within the month, they had gotten the hang of the new routine. Kids are surprisingly resilient so I'd go with your gut on what feels right for you and your family.
While preschoolers can sure be fickle, if you think she'd benefit from more play and you have the opportunity to switch, do it.
We started our daughter at a language immersion preschool when she was 2.5 years old because they were able to take her, despite her being a year younger than the other 39 kids (we had significant child-care provider complications which is why we decided to do this at the time). Looking back, I thought a lot of the struggles we had were due to her being a strong personality, but now I realize that the environment contributed significantly. At 3.5 we were able to switch her to a play-based preschool that has a rich social-emotional learning component. Yes, the new school has a higher price tag, but I have no regrets. My kid is happier, transitions more easily, and never makes the "I don't want to go to school" comment anymore. She is almost 5 and is so excited about kindergarten next year, due to the play-based environment's ability to nurture her curiosity.
Good luck!
We moved our son to a different preschool at 4 because the first school was too strict for him. It was great from day-one and I wished I'd done it months before!