17yo girl dating 20yo young man
My daughter is a 17yo HS senior (turns 18 July 2023) and there is a mutual interest with a 20yo young man who graduated from her HS (2-3 years ago?). They met working at a summer camp together. She says she feels no pressure and that they are both aware of the concern about the age difference. I am not sure quite how to navigate. If this feels to her and to us like a healthy mutual connection and they want to move forward, what is the law around sex/dating in this case? Can parents/kids find themselves in actual legal trouble here? If I tell her sex is off the table with him until she's 18 because of the law, not sure what happens with that? That seems like it could cause more fear/shame/stress and stop her from talking openly with me. She is a smart, mature young woman and I want to support her in having happy healthy relationships/sexuality, but also be a smart parent. Any comments/advise/legal knowledge appreciated!
Parent Replies
At these ages, if the relationship is consensual and no concerns for coercion or exploitation, there isn't a concern regarding the law and mandatory reporting. Congrats though, it sounds like she already has good communication with you regarding this person -- and that's a feat in itself!
Hi, there. I just need to chime in: another parent posted that there is no issue or concern with the law in this situation, because your daughter is not being coerced - that is incorrect. The age of consent in California is 18; anyone who has sex with someone under the age of 18 is guilty of statutory rape, and could get in a great deal of trouble. I cannot comment on your own liabilities here.
You should look into the “Romeo and Juliet” exception to statutory rape laws; California does not have one. There is a lot of conflicting information on the web regarding this, so your best bet is to read the actual law (California Penal Code 261.5). Best of luck.