14 yo daughter with panic attacks
My normally enthusiastic, positive 14 year old has been experiencing anxiety attacks recently. I've read past postings, so know that she is not unique. She said her anxiety is mostly school-related: 80% social and 20% academic... but can't pinpoint specifics on what's causing the attacks. Today she had an attack in class while watching a video about kids dying. The attacks seem to be getting worse by the day. She is a freshman at BHS. Up until recently, she has been happy and says she enjoys her classes/teachers/classmates. She does fine academically, but does not have a group of friends (hangs out with a couple friends from middle school during lunch-time and not at all after school or on weekends). She said she is losing confidence in herself, is afraid to meet new people and increasingly afraid to participate in class, which has never happened before. She has a small group of close friends outside of school (through her extra-curricular activities) with whom she does most things. She's busy and seems to be doing okay with her extracurriculars, though I can see the diminishing self-confidence creeping into her activities too. Since I've never experienced anything like this, I'm trying to figure out how best to help her. I'm waiting to hear back from her primary doctor. If you have a child who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, I would love to hear your story about how you and your child handle it. It seems like she needs both tactical tools to deal with it when it happens (breathing techniques?) and help with reducing anxiety over the long term. If your child sees someone for anxiety whom you like at Kaiser Oakland, can you provide the recommendation? Thanks!
Parent Replies
Our almost 12 year old daughter started experiencing panic/anxiety around Thanksgiving 2016, and we found Kaiser's mental health services to be very helpful. We started with her pediatrician to rule out any physical stuff, and then she was referred to therapy. First, she saw a therapist one-on-one once a week for about eight weeks. Then she signed up for a young teen anxiety group and completed that series. Kaiser's cognitive behavior therapy approach has helped a ton! I think there are many ways it could work, but for our girl, the one-on-one was a good start (since she was nervous about therapy) and gave her the basic tools for handling anxiety, and then the group reinforced the tools.
One of the funniest tools her therapist used was to tell our daughter that she had to limit the sharing of her worries (with us, her parents) to 15 minutes per day, and that we as a family should set aside "worry time" and make it available to her but only in a limited amount. Daughter was instructed to identify worries as they arose during the day and to put them into a "worry bucket" to be shared later. This seemed odd to us, as we are used to having ongoing dialogue about everything with our daughter, but it really helped. Daughter was less inclined to dwell on her worries, either on her own or in our presence, and she ended up not requesting that much "worry time" before her constant fretting seemed to diminish significantly.
Lastly, both my husband and I have benefited from Kaiser CBT approach, so we were able to reinforce the message from our daughter's therapist. I think this helped. Kaiser sent home written materials to be reviewed by us and our daughter at home and it was a great refresher. One last story: yesterday, my daughter was experiencing anxiety and she talked herself out of it and used distraction techniques to feel better. She then told me how grateful she is that she received therapy so soon after the on-set of symptoms.
My daughter is a sophmore in high school and has experienced anxiety this school year. She also has chronic pain issues and her anxiety manifests itself through physical pain and sickness. I have struggled as a parent as the best way to help her but I have found a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, Dr.Rachel Zoffness, that has been helpful. She isn't through Kaiser though. I also used to teach and one of my students went to group therapy through Kaiser. I don't anything about the program except that my student went through it. Hope you can find her help.
Hi,
I am sorry your daughter is going through this, it is so difficult. We have a similar situation with my 13 year old. She has tried medication, with some success, and cbt with no success, it even made her feel more depressed. She tried mindfulness but she has narrowed it down to tactical. Where to go from here we are not sure and I look forward to seeing the answers to your post. She tried cbt at Kaiser and outside of Kaiser and felt that they were both the same. Outside of Kaiser we had more access to appointments and the therapist opined that it should take about 14 sessions. The therapist outside of Kaiser said that she is absolutely shocked at the increase of anxiety and depression in teens. (I am personally bothered by the selection of books that the schools select. They are always very very depressing and focus on death and abuse of children. I think that they can mix it up a bit.)
I just saw this video today and thought it might help your daughter and also you if you explore the website:
https://speakupforkids.org/story/emma-stone/
It's Emma Stone talking about her anxiety - I think knowing 'it's not just you' is a huge help...has been to me - good luck!
Hi, My son conquered his anxiety and panic attacks using a self-help program called
"Turnaround, Turning Fear into Freedom"
It consists of a workbook and a series of CDs that tell a story with characters.
I know see there are many programs offered.
My son enjoyed learning on his own at his own pace in the privacy of his room.
He has only very rare bouts of anxiety now and is much more aware when he feels anxious and has strategies for coping.
I would try this route before medication, personally.
-Barbara