14 year-old anxious daughter
Hello fellow parents, I am searching for ideas to help my 14 year-old daughter, who struggles with anxiety. It seems to come over her in waves when something stressful happens, at which points she plummets and tells me how miserable she is. It started when Covid shut down school. Now she's better, but she still talks a lot about anxiety and hopelessness. Are there resources for anxious teens other than traditional therapy? Something that might give her some tools and strategies for feeling better? Thank you.
Aug 16, 2022
Parent Replies
My daughter has been helped immeasurably by DBT classes, where she has learned to “regulate her emotions”. Talk therapy helped as well, but DBT is such a useful tool. She is strong, confident and solid, and I have her therapist Dr. JJ Kelly, and JJ’s DBT group to thank- as well as my daughter’s years of hard work to get herself to this point. JJ has a website:www.drjjkelly.com that might be helpful to you and your daughter.
My daughter started taking Lexapro, the smallest dose, and it made a huge difference in her anxiety. It's worth checking out with your family medicine doctor or psychiatrist.
Hi there. I am both a mom of an anxious teen and a therapist. "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" is widely available and is a cheap and effective way of providing tools to both identify the kind of anxiety at play and how to deal with/survive the anxiety. There are also lots of youtube videos coaching people through good somatic techniques, such as provoking the mammalian diving reflex (it's a real thing!). It has helped my teen to recognize that anxiety affects thinking *and* is a physiological phenomenon and that means you can use either cognitive techniques or somatic techniques or both. I coach my teen to use whichever feels most accessible at the moment. Yoga, regular exercise --- even walking --- can be big help overall and becomes more effective with time and practice. Good luck!
I'm sorry your daughter is struggling. Mine has struggled with anxiety since she was a small child, with it ebbing and flowing over the years. Targeted CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) has been very helpful to her in gaining skills to manage her anxiety. She's now a confident, almost 20-y-o who can name her anxiety and manage it effectively (she is not, and has not, been on medication).
Here are some tools that contain strategies for managing anxiety:
"The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD was recommended by our family therapist years ago and proved helpful to me in helping her.
The Calm app, or anything similar to help with mindfulness and breathing techniques.
"The Anti-Anxiety Notebook"
I wish you and your daughter well.
My 14 year-old daughter has struggled with crippling anxiety on and off for several years. We found a pediatrician who is interested in this issue and has experience with medications. Our daughter has benefitted tremendously from a low dose of Lexapro coupled with a beta blocker. I know many people are wary of using prescription medications for kids and teens but when handled carefully by an experienced doctor it can be transformative. Relief from anxiety is a blessing.
I've always had a lot of anxiety that I just thought was part of my personality. I finally got called out as being anxious as an adult and started to look more into it. I heard about this book on fresh air and it's so fascinating! It has truly helped. Its available though the library as an audiobook if you want to test it out before you buy.
It's called Unwinding Anxiety by Judson Brewer, and he talks about how anxiety forms as a habit in our brain, and how the act of recognizing it when it comes up helps us to break the habit. Understanding what's going on in your brain really helped me in ways that traditional talk therapy never could.