Move from public to private school?
Our child started kindergarten this year and it’s been a bit rocky. They are doing great academically but it’s been overwhelming. We just started the process of having them evaluated for ADHD as well. Transitions can be really hard for them and technology in the classroom is not a good fit. I’m working with the teacher who is open and flexible but not the most experienced. This week I was talking to our child about the school vs aftercare program they go to since they don’t have the same issues with becoming emotionally dysregulated at aftercare. They said they “go crazy” at their school and not aftercare because the school is so huge. This leads me to think they are overwhelmed with the new school and how different it is from preschool. I am not making any rash decisions and know kids can grow out of things but I also want what’s best for our child’s individual needs and understand that a big public school may not the best. I grew up going to public school and have never considered anything different for my kids but I want school to be a positive thing and not overwhelming and anxiety producing.
I’m looking for advice from parents who did change schools for similar reasons or thought about changing but who decided to stay and how they feel about that decision. Thanks.
Parent Replies
We changed from public to private in the 3rd grade when things got unbearable. In hindsight, we feel we should have switched sooner. Kid was telling us the whole time they weren’t happy but because teachers said they were doing fine and it was free, we stuck it out until we really could not.
Some clear signs that were there and that we regrettably ignored and feel guilty about include:
Mornings were often challenging
After we switched to a small progressive private school, kid LOVED school and could not wait to go. A kid who had 1-2 days of tardiness every week would get ready before me and rush me to take them to school. Kid would say they are sad on weekends because they don’t get to go to school.
Years later, they told me that there was a super scary and mean kid at the old school and they hated recess. We knew about another kid bullying and we addressed that issue with the school but we didn’t know about more bullying! They also said they were super bored and just zoned out in class but they could pretend to pay attention by studying the facial features or reading things right around the teacher or in the classroom. We had no idea.m, because kid is pretty reserved.
We also sought a neuropsych evaluation from the school district and were told that kid was fine. Some borderline areas but no need for concern and they don’t provide gifted programs.
At a private school, we began wondering again. We got a private comprehensive neuropsych evaluation and learned that child is gifted in math and verbal language but also has ADHD inattentive type, stealth dyslexia, and mild ASD.
It turns out giftedness masks learning differences and ASD, so the kid is perceived more or less as an average student. We are grateful to be in a small school where my kid is seen and can be challenged in certain areas while being supported in others.
You can switch to private elementary and give public or charter school a try.
I will say tuition is painful. But our kid’s and parental mental health are priceless. My depression and anxiety improved greatly after we changed school because I didn’t have to put in enormous efforts every single day to get the kid to go to school and didn’t have to deal with evening meltdowns.
We are at Aurora and there are a handful of kids who started at a public school and moved to Aurora. I can not speak for those families but they all seem very happy with the change. Aurora is small and the instruction is personalized to your kid. There is no way your child is going to fall through the cracks at Aurora. My kids both love the school and look forward to going every day.
We switched schools in K to an incredible private school (berkwood hedge). The small class size and nurturing environment made a massive difference. Whats kept us there is also the aftercare. You pay by the hour. Its totally flexible, lots of anrichment classes if you want and a small nature means everyone knows your kid and all kids are very loved. I have one kid with more needs and another who excels in everything and both are thriving there. Worth every penny, but also know they are great with financial aid too