Community Building for 13 YO w/ ADHD in Berkeley?
My 13 YO dtr carries a dx of ADHD, inattentive type. She struggles to make and maintain friendships and I think she is pretty lonely. She is not into sports and cannot handle drama/theater b/c there is too much memorization, although she likes this sort of thing. She has fairly rigid thinking and can be argumentative, even w/ her friends, which is why I think most of her friendships have dwindled. She doesn't have great skill in reading the room, so can talk over folks or miss cues when the subject is changing or NEEDS to be changed. She is a fun loving kid for the most part, and I could see her getting on w/ other quirky kiddos. She has some interest in fitness, rowing/crew, and musicianship/music theory. She just has not found her "people". We have tried some social skill building, both formal and informal, and we have been to a few CHADD groups, but those were not helpful. Any suggestions for meetups in Berkeley? Not sure where this kid will go to HS, but we are looking at Maybeck, St Mary's and BHS.
Parent Replies
I am no expert here and I don’t have specific advice for your question, but as I read your description I’m reminded of a friend of mine, a young woman, who recently got a diagnosis of ASD. So many social difficulties finally explained.
Hi there. I know it's hard watching a kid struggle at all with social experience; it is something many go through at some point in their school aged lives, and you're not alone!
I do think the quirky kids are often found in theater (I was!) and would offer the notion that backstage/crew roles can be a fun way to participate and meet more of those kids without having to memorize or perform. Stage craft, lighting, costume, makeup, and show posters/promotion are all important and a good drama teacher will make sure all those roles have a good time too, no memorization required. I think my ADHD/2e kid found a lot of similar neurospicy friends in middle school drama and they're still friends at BHS despite mine being the stage type and several of her friends being more interested in backstage.
Hi,
My daughter sounds similar. About a year ago we joined an all girls Berkeley Scouting troop. The kids did not already know each other, but everyone seems to get along just great! They are into going camping and even short backpacking trips so they have a lot of adventures. We camped overnight on Angel Island last weekend. They also do other activities like ice skating and service events. Honestly, my daughter isn't that interested in the scouting part. She seems to go mostly for the cameraderie. However, she is definitely learning some skills along the way. There is also a lot of opportunity for leadership experiences. The girls are in grades 6-11. Here is a website about the troop. https://troop42berkeley.com/
The troop is looking to expand.
I noticed she likes music and music theory
My daughter sings in the Young Women’s Choral Project and has learned a ton from their weekly music theory classes. It’s a great community. It is however, in SF. We drive into the city for it and deem it worthwhile.
They have mid season auditions coming up:
ywcp.org/auditions
Improv classes could be a good fit. And maybe volunteering with a rescue or foster group or a shelter?