Which Summer Activities for Teens?

Parent Q&A

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  • My daughter, 16.5, is out next week for the summer. She is going to boarding school out of state in the fall (longer story).

    She is truly exhausted after a rough school year and “needs a break”. She is not wanting to do our usual family travel, not willing to find a local job and wants to sleep a lot and spend time with friends she won’t see for a while when she goes away to school. She has a “self-employment” idea as a solution for a summer job that I know will not happen or work out or be fruitful. Believe me, I’m not being negative, but this kid has severe ADHD and is in no way a self-starter. She needs external structure though resents it. Of course any reality check from me will be seen as me not believing in her or supporting her. My fantasy of her having a part-time job for some work experience this summer are evaporating. We are butting heads and fighting nonstop. I can’t shift anything.

    I’m exhausted AND can’t tolerate her complaining at me all summer wanting money and rides. 

    Any ideas? I’m so stuck. 
     

    Hi there, I’m the mom of an ADHD child who is now 20. And reading your post, it sounds like your daughter has a brief window of unstructured time right now. She’s had a stressful year at school, and she’s headed for boarding school in a couple of months. Honestly, that sounds like a lot, even for an adult. This is counterintuitive to what you wanted, but my gut would say give the girl a break. Maybe set up a volunteer job at a pet shelter or a low-key dog walking or other local job a few days a week to give some loose structure, but let the girl relax a little.  Maybe plan some things with her as a family, like a weekly breakfast, or day trips with her on Wednesdays and Fridays for example. This could be a time that you could get close, she could relax a little, and spend some time with her friends.  I know ADHD can be challenging. I have been there. But sometimes over scheduling is not the solution. Maybe try to see this as a time for downtime, bonding, and an opportunity for her to do some low-key volunteer jobs that give loose structure to the week. Sometimes structure can feel like control. This might be a chance for her to practice, making her own decisions and living with the consequences. It’s a really important skill. But I say give the girl a break. 

    I wish you the best. 

    This is a tough situation. We had a similar issue with our daughter when she was slightly older. What finally worked for us was patience and natural consequences. Though it was difficult for me, I learned not to press her on looking for work. However, we did not give her any spending money during this time. That ended up being a great motivator. She did not like being broke. She eventually found a great age-appropriate job.

    My understanding is that it can be difficult to find summer jobs these days so the self-employment idea may be the best bet. Is there a trusted adult in her life whom she could call upon to help her get organized? We have found with our daughter that while getting assistance from us is anathema, she will accept help from other adults. Good luck!

    My recipe:


    Stop fighting with her. It will be hard to control yourself, but it is the most important step. 

    Set boundaries. Tell her how much money and how many rides you will provide.  Friends are important. Please provide enough money or rides so she can see her friends regularly. No matter how much she yells or begs, stay calm, stick to your boundaries. 

    Trying to control a teenager will just make you both miserable. Give it up. Make it your goal to listen and understand. 

    I'm sorry you and your daughter are in this position. It's a tough one. I've been in a similar situation myself.

    You can set healthy and respectful limits, but you can't control how she will react or respond. My suggestions would be to get through the summer with as much kindness and compassion toward both yourself and your daughter as you can muster. Decide and, as simply, clearly, and compassionately as possible, communicate how you're going to handle the summer as soon as possible. Take a deep breath. Remember "No" is a complete sentence. You'll have some space from each other soon.

    Here's what I did: 
    Since my child would not go on our family vacation (and to be honest, I wasn't looking forward to them going on it), and it was not acceptable for them to stay home alone, we brainstormed a solution together. They ended up staying with one grandparent (in a senior facility!) for one night, then flying to stay the rest of the time with an out-of-state grandparent.

    Since being at home all summer with little structured time was going to be difficult for all of us, I gave them a choice of three 2-3 week sleep away experiences with the option of proposing another one of their choosing. They didn't hav a choice whether to go; they had a choice where they would go. They ended up going to a 2-week sleep away camp. I can't say they were happy about it, but they went. It gave the rest of us at home a break from the tension, and them a break from us.

    Since they were not amenable to getting a job (tough for 16-y-o's in this area anyway), I offered to pay them for volunteering or doing extra chores around the house. I asked for 24 hours in advance to be paid or, in the case of needing a ride, being driven to the volunteer opportunity location. Anything spur of the moment was at my discretion to pay or drive (encourage planning in advance and working around my schedule). I also let them know, as directly and with compassion as I could, that no "free" money would be given (they do have a summer birthday and often get cash from relatives), and requests for rides were at my discretion and more likely to be granted if arranged in advance around my schedule (no interrupting my work).

    I'm going to suggest a resource that is geared toward parents of kids with substance use issues, but the information applies to improving any parent/child relationship. Consider taking a look at The Parent's 20-Minute Guide (free online resource) by CMC:ffc. I found the information helpful when I was at the stage you're at. If you find the guide of value, they have a more in-depth resource available The Invitation to Change: A Short Guide (also free online or available for purchase in physical book format).

    Good luck to you in getting through the summer. Remember: when things get heated, take a step back to cool down before taking the next best step.

    That's a really hard time. If she has something she likes to do, helping her find it would be good. If she went to a day camp in the past she might be able to volunteer there now. It is difficult for teens to find summer jobs, especially in Berkeley, because they are competing with college students who want to stay here for the summer. It might help if you can hold on to the idea that this is a tim- limited problem, given that she's going away to school in the fall. My main thought both as a parent and a teacher is that although she might be happy for you to go away without her on vacation, there are often problems with most kids when parents leave them at home while they travel.

    I actually have empathy for her need to rest and be with friends before she leaves in the fall. I think you should support some of this, especially time with friends (maybe some special little adventures that you and other parents set up).

    But - you are the parent! If you say work is a requirement, then she needs to get a job! Cut off allowance. Explain that a phone is a privilege. There are TONS of p/t jobs still available this summer. She may need big hand holding to apply and interview. Choose something really basic for p/t work. Enthusiastically praise her for every small step in the right direction. Does she want to be a babysitter? Have her call every nearby summer camp and see if they’re accepting apps for junior counselors. Call church or synagogue camps. Or go to places like Jamba Juice and chipotle and fill out apps. Tell her it’s not only about the money, you want her to have the experience of being employed with a W2 and a boss who can provide a recommendation for future work.

    At 16 she is not in charge here. If this is a parental requirement then she simply has to work. 

    Sending love and strength.

    Take all my advice with a big grain of salt since it is based on nothing but your three paragraphs and my own experience:

    It sounds like you need to figure out how to let go and set some boundaries that work for you. She gets an allowance, and that's her spending money. You're available to help her secure work this summer in the following ways. If she wants to do her own thing, that's awesome and good for her. (Offer her support that you're comfortable with and empathy when it fails; avoid "i told you so" and stick to "that's rough. I'm sorry.")

    I would also, probably in the same sit-down conversation, say that one of the advantages to having a planned out summer is that you can plan for travel. You respect that she wants an unstructured summer. The trade off is that you won't be able to commit to rides. Get her an unlimited AC transit pass and a bike helmet and let her know what works for you. 

    If there are other boundaries that you need (Does she have a curfew? Household responsibilities? Do you need her to get out of the house for certain windows?) get those on the table, too. 

    And when the inevitable complaints do arise, you can say "dang, that's hard. But we talked about this. It's too stressful for me, so I won't be driving you. I can help you look up how to get there on public transit if you'd like."

    I'm the parent of an ADHD kid, too, and find he needs breaks but also needs structure. Maybe volunteering a few times a week would be good? 

    ASPCA looking for teen volunteers this summer: https://eastbayspca.org/youth-programs/shelter-scouts-youth-volunteering

    She could do that AND putter around w/ her self employment idea? 


    Elise

    I would definitely try to stop butting heads and fighting ;) This may not be what you want to hear, but it doesn't sound like getting a job is something she "needs" to do. I get not wanting to hear complaints all summer. Maybe the thing to do is for the 2 of you (and another parent if one is in the picture) to sit down and come up with some goals and guidelines for the summer. If it were me, I would want her to participate in family travel. Maybe she could invite a friend on the trip? If her goal is to accomplish something specific with her "self-employment" maybe you could brainstorm some ideas for how she could accomplish that. A rough outline of a schedule or list of tasks she would need to do to accomplish her goals. I think the key word there is "her." Most people find it hard to accomplish goals that they didn't set for themselves. I don't see why a 16 year old "needs" to get a job unless your family needs the income. You could also set expectations about rides and money. What are you will to give and under what circumstances? Maybe set a number of rides you are willing to give per week, or the kind of activity you are willing to drive her to. Are you willing to give her a specific allowance?  

    If she had a "rough" year and is about to go away to boarding school, I think resting and seeing friends are fine things to prioritize. For sure you don't want to spend the summer exhausted and fighting all the time. 

    My daughter is 19.5 and has ADHD as well. She got her first job in the summer when she was 17.5 at the regular grocery store. Then the following year, she got in at the high end grocery. She is a courtesy clerk. It has given her so much growth as well as friendly coworkers. The prior year (age 16.5), she did some pet sitting, modeled for a neighbor's online business photo shoot, made some cutesy jewelry. When she was looking to get a job (yes, at our insistence), my husband went around with her to see where she might have any interest. I am still working on accepting that even though she is a great student and in community college, she is on a slower path. Good luck and hang in there, mama!

    Hi, during my growing-up years in a different country, kids normally didn't do summer jobs or summer camps. They would sleep late, hang out with friends, get really bored, and wish that school would start soon. It sounds like that's what your daughter wants and it's not entirely a bad thing -- it's a much needed break, specially for kids for whom school is hard. My kid has ADHD and she refuses to go to after-school, because just getting through the school day is her limit.

    In terms of wanting money and rides, I can see that being exhausting. Perhaps you can set a budget and a certain number of weekly rides she would get, and that's it. Other than that, she can read at home,  take online courses, cook, and help out with other things around the house.

    I'm sorry you're in this spot.  My only idea is to see if local friends or neighbors need help during their travels.  My teen has happily signed up for garden care and pet care small jobs.  It's not a lot but it might help with spending cash and some structure and responsibilities.  Maybe she could even post here what she's willing to do and how she's be good at it.  I guess I have one other thought - what about a running club or zumba class or something?  Maybe even a mixed ages one you could do together a few times?  Something to get moving and social that's cheap or free.  

    Good luck. 

    I have a similarly challenged teen. I totally understand you have concerns about an unstructured summer. However when our kids reach the max it’s best to empathize. We can validate those feelings (again and again) and at the same time set some parameters. It sounds like she doesn’t need to work but mostly you want her to have some commitments and responsibilities. Think about what options there are such as volunteering, taking a class such as dance, yoga or drivers ed, specific responsibilities around the house. Then sit down and talk as a family about which things she is wanting/willing to do and what your expectations are. It’s totally reasonable she wants some unstructured time with friends. If she’s open to volunteering maybe just some dog walking or other fun activities? Maybe she needs to have 2-3 structured days/week and others are relaxed? As for family travel, that seems a reasonable expectation. Perhaps as some mentioned bring a friend? Maybe travel near where she is going to school so it feels more familiar? Perhaps take some shorter trips for 3-4 days so she balances that out with time with friends? Whatever you do let go of your anger and expectations. Figure out what exactly is driving your frustration and brainstorm with your partner/spouse what could alleviate that? If it’s you not wanting to drive her places put that on the table. If it’s that your finances are limited, put that on the table. Truly I get it and you won’t get what you want and neither will she in this type of back and forth. Remember she’s not an adult. Her brain is still growing. And it’s totally normal to want to spend time with her friends at this age. Good luck to you! 

  • My niece is interested in spending about a month in the Bay Area this summer. She will have completed 8th grade at an International School abroad (American-based school so majority of the classes are taught in English). Her parents would like to enroll her in a program that’s more fun, local culture-focused, and not too academic. Can anyone recommend any such programs for a rising 9th grader? I would prefer the location to not require driving past the tunnel towards Orinda/Walnut Creek or go east of Castro Valley, since I would chauffeur her along with my own much-younger children. Thank you for any advice.

    I'm a fan of the Crucible's industrial arts programs for teens. My daughter loved their leather-working class, but they have welding, woodworking, glass, kinetics and electronics, ceramics, and more. Very Oakland. Accessible by BART or bus, if you don't want to chauffeur. https://www.thecrucible.org/

    For that age, my family can personally recommend Cal Outdoor Adventures at the Berkeley Marina, Path to Panacea cooking camp through Albany Recreation, and WriteOn also through Albany Recreation. 

    Trackers might also be a nice option--they get out into the East Bay regional parks. There are Oakland and El Cerrito drop-off options. You don't mention where you're based, which may also help narrow the options.

    You might want to check out a really fun photography camp, which sounds like it would really be a nice fit! Our daughter, who is a rising 10th grader and a passionate photographer, started out in the summer camp of Perspectives Photo School three years ago. It was founded by a wonderful local photographer, Tara Layman, who has worked with teens for years, The camp is a great opportunity to get to visit the area (she takes her campers around the East Bay and also to San Francisco), and really learn to "see" what's around them. Tara is both an excellent photographer and an excellent teacher, and continues to work with our daughter on a one-on-one basis, working hard with her to mount her very first photo exhibit (in our home).

  • Any suggestions of what your teen has done for summer at this kind of 'in between' age? Our 14 year old has basically aged out of all but one camp that he likes (which honestly aren't that many anymore) and has a couple of small trips planned for the summer. We're waiting to hear back from one camp that might decide to do a Counselor in Training (CIT) program, but in case that doesn't pan out, I'm trying to figure out if he can work a job as he'll be 15 at the end of May, but most jobs for his age (other CIT positions) seem to require availability for the whole summer and we have one two week camp and the two trips, so I don't know if any types of those jobs are flexible in that regard, it seems like they aren't. Even classes at the community college won't work due to the trips and camp unfortunately. Any advice appreciated!

    No offense, but consider what you are asking for. Summer is what, 8-12 weeks, depending on the district? And your son has a two-week camp and two trips already planned? Now put yourself in the position of a potential employer. Even hiring a CIT, they need someone who is available for the summer, not “the summer except for this two week block and some other trips.” If you needed a job done, would you hire this person? This isn’t like taking a new, full-time job with the understanding that you have a vacation planned and paid for; in that situation the employer knows that you will be gone for a couple of weeks early in what is anticipated to be a long-term employment relationship.

    It seems to me that you and your son need a different approach. What are you seeking to accomplish? Is the goal to earn some money? To stay busy instead of playing video games all summer? To learn? What will his friends be doing? Perhaps he could pick up some casual labor in your neighborhood, such as yard work or babysitting? Take a shorter (3-4 week) course at the community college or the Y? Or a hybrid course, so when he is there he can attend in person and can make up missed classes on his own? There may also be volunteer options at the food bank or an animal shelter that he can drop in and out of. Libraries often have summer programs. You don’t say what his interests are, but perhaps he could talk to the librarian about helping with some of their programs for younger children? Another possibility is keeping up with whatever foreign language he is learning at school by finding a on-line class for daily practice and a local discussion group at a cafe or institution for conversational practice. Perhaps he and his friends can meet regularly to hike or bike? When I was his age I loved exploring my city on foot and going on long bike rides in the parks. Or does he play an instrument? He could arrange regular times to play with others.

    Together you should be able to come up with a mix of activities in the East Bay as well as San Francisco that are engaging and flexible enough to allow for the times he won’t be around. This is definitely more work than packing him off to be a CIT for weeks at a time, but researching options together might help you stay connected to his interests while expanding his world at the same time. When I was a tween and early teen my mother sat with me every evening to help plan what I would do the next day. This was pre-internet, so I had to call museums, etc. to confirm schedules and any entrance fees, figure out transit using paper maps, and make a lunch to carry with me. I had a couple of regular babysitting gigs, and my mother insisted I take a typing class at the Y since it wasn’t taught at my school. Those scheduled activities gave my weeks structure, and my self-designed field trips felt like one-day adventures and awakened me to all sorts of ideas and expanded my interests.

    We're in the same boat. And TBH last summer was a struggle, too.  Here's what's on my list:

    * Echo and Tuolomne have two week CIT programs. We're doing that.

    * Kitchen on Fire has a cooking class that is 12 and up. We're doing a week of that.

    * UC Berkeley Rec rock climbing (or getting him to a rock climbing class ... figuring out how to get that bug into him)

    * The Crucible has some cool classes for teens. Woodworking, glass blowing, ceramics. I haven't looked at the schedule yet, but I think that would fly with our teen.

    * Trackers had a CIT program (you pay them) that was week by week. Definitely involves working with kids. My kid wasn't into it, but he loved Trackers.

    * Looking into whether the shelter will let teens volunteer to walk dogs.

    * Unalayee  -- backpacking camp (I'm looking for other backpacking options)

    * My kid is curious about golf and it seems like there are some potential options that actually have 15-16yo kids registered.

    * Cal Sailing Club might have some interesting options if he's interested in getting into the water.

    I had a friend whose son was leading D&D games at a game store. I swear that KidsNClay had a teen program at one point. One thing I'm thinking of framing for my kid is that I'll pay him to volunteer. He isn't going to do it without me, but if I say "I'd pay $x for a week of summer programming, so I'll put that into your savings account to spend as you wish, if you do this productive thing that I want you to do with your time." I think that might get me some traction with my particular kid. I haven't decided about that one yet, though.

    You may already be tuned in to the City of Berkeley camp programs, but in case not, for a14-year-old there are:

    - a marine biology week for ages 11-14 one week in the summer, only half-day. (Registration begins soon.) 

    - junior lifeguard camp for ages 11-14 (not sure if the dates are posted or if registration has begun) which is also helpful if they might be interested in training to be a lifeguard at 15.

    If your kid is a high school freshman, take a look at CIT at City of Berkeley Echo Lake camp.   It is a 2-week sleep-away.   More info is here:   https://rec.berkeleyca.gov/CA/berkeley-ca/catalog/index/70e7f81b73ca9c1…

    UC Berkeley Summer Springboard is two week sessions. Depending on your kid that could be a good option.

    1 - He can set up his own account on NextDoor to advertise his availability to help with moving, gardening, pet sitting, odd jobs. Better for him to advertise for himself than have you advertise for him. 2 - Take a class at Classroom Matters on executive function skills, study skills, PSAT prep, etc. 3 - Find a couple of like-minded friends and maybe a parent to do a 2-night or 3-night backpack to Desolation Wilderness or any Sierra destination. 4 - Our teen enjoyed one-week cooking camps for teens.  5 - UC Berkeley and Lawrence Hall of Science usually have a few one-week classes for teens that might be interesting.  6 - our kid did a one-month (or 6 week?) class online at UC San Diego directed towards high school students. 7 - is there an instrument he's always wanted to learn to play?  now is the time to fool around with it and make it fun. 8 - See if he wants to set himself a reading goal for the summer (2 books?  3 books? 10 books?)  and ask him how he wants to hold himself to it. 9 - For teens, there are various summer things that evolve at the end of spring term as they discover what their friends might be doing or find someone willing to take them on an interesting trip. Suggest to him that he keep his ears and eyes open for anything new, and that it's time for him to start finding his own structure and his own fun.  It will work out. 

    What does your teen like? Do they have any interests + hobbies?

    There is a photo camp in the east bay - https://www.perspectivesphotoschool.com/

    I'm in this predicament as well, perhaps you can also ask your fellow freelancing parents if they need some mother's helpers? Or any assisting tasks they could offer?

    Good luck!

    Try Cal's teen leadership programs.  Both of my kids were CILTs and CITs through Cal camps, and it was a great experience for them

    Teen Leadership Programs - Recreation & Wellbeing (berkeley.edu)

    https://recwell.berkeley.edu/youth-recreation/summer-camps/teen-leaders…

    Just got an email from UC Berkeley rec, with these options for 15yos:

    Counselors-in-Training (ages 15-17): Counselors-in-training attend pre-camp training and are assigned a schedule and volunteer duties with the camp in which they are placed. To apply for this volunteer (unpaid) position, visit the Youth Recreation Jobs page

    Adventures Teen Leadership Programs Senior Leadership: (ages 14-15): Achieve leadership goals under the guidance of senior staff. Senior Leaders will select a skill area from our Cal Adventures program offerings, such as rock climbing, windsurfing, paddle boarding and more.


    Pre-Team Swim Training develops competitive swimming strokes in a structured team workout atmosphere. The Pre-Team Swim Training program is a perfect opportunity for participants to maintain their progress and bridge the gap to the club team experience. (Age/skill levels include Intermediate for ages 9-12 and Low Advanced for ages 13-18.)
     

  • Hello friends!

    My (newly adopted!) 14-year old son and I moved to Alameda (by way of Brooklyn) on July 1st and I promptly signed him up for a couple of weeklong camps. (This is our second summer together and I know that things get a little dicey without some structure.)

    He has a lot of social anxiety, mostly keeps to himself and would prefer to stay home and watch tv over anything else. He went to Bay Harbor Club’s Tennis Camp for the first week (which he didn’t hate) and for these past two weeks he’s been at the Alameda Community Sailing Camp which, to my great surprise and delight, he admitted was “super-divertido*” from Day 1!! So much so, that he is now asking about camp for next week! 

    And that’s where you come in! 

    Do you have any suggestions for a (teen) camp that might have an open slot next week??

    He’s particularly interested in water-sports like kayaking or even swimming, but as long as it’s not too “sporty” (he vehemently avoids soccer, basketball etc) and within say…a half-hour-ish drive from Alameda, I’d love to hear about it!

    *I should mention that, while he understands a LOT and really knows how to say A LOT, he communicates primarily in Spanish (or non-verbally due to his shyness).

    That said, he’s mentioned ACTING as one of the activities he’s interested in pursuing!?! So if you know of any bilingual acting programs—even during the school year—I’d happily take that info too!

    Any points in the right direction would be so appreciated…

    I think EB Regional Parks has a junior lifeguard camp in Alameda the next couple of weeks!

    Good for you both! How exciting. This is maybe slightly far for you but Berkeley Rec has amazing camps - SUP, windsurfing, Bay sailing and more. City of Oakland has great low cost camps including a comprehensive sailing program on Lake Merritt. Encinal Yacht Club in Alameda has perhaps the top sailing program in the Bay Area - friends in places like Tiburon send their kids there / it’s a multi week program appropriate for next summer. And btw - sailing is a very recruitable college sport. There’s EBRC and Artemis etc for rowing - a surprisingly fun team sport that is also very recruitable for colleges, with only 2-3 years on a team needed. Piedmont Rec has a ton of camp programs, check their website. Does he like cooking? There are some cool cooking camps. I’m not sure about acting but you could just google that or give a school like OSA a call and see if they have recommendations. Also the chain of Ironworks Climbing Gyms nearby - which are awesome - have very good year round climbing programs. And call the Bladium - loads of programs there and a fun environment right near you.

    Hello!  Welcome to the Bay Area!  There is a water sports type camp in Lake Merritt.  I am not certain on details but worth checking out.

    It might be a bit farther than 30min but Trackers Camp in El Cerrito would be a perfect fit. The only camp my 11 year old will attend. They also have some role playing sessions that might work for the acting interest. Good luck! 

    Welcome to Alameda! 

    Check out Mike's Stand Up Paddleboard camps. They're on-island (not far from Encinal High School) and they offer teen camps that are full or half day. Caveat: they are very pricey! Kids stay in calm water and in marina areas, not out in the Bay, so it has felt quite safe. My son and 2 friends attended a full-day camp with them last year, and he's attending a 1/2 day camp next week as he liked it so much. Who knows...maybe they'll meet? I don't have personal experience with options for acting, but Tomorrow Youth Repertory (TYR, in Alameda) and Berkeley Youth Repertory are ones I hear about a great deal.

    right there next to alameda community sailing, is also ‘stacked adventures’ (kayaking) and o kalani outrigger club (hawaiian canoe paddling). stacked adventures doesn’t have camps per se, but they do have youth lessons, paddling and group activities. o kalani youth program starts at 15 y.o. but has a fabulous supportive family feel and might be a consideration for next year. i see other posters mentioned mike’s paddle (alameda) and youth rowing (oakland). both fantastic. i do want to state as a former rower and one who knows kids who row, that the sport is definitely more of a collegiate feel (read ‘competitive’ environment) than kayaking or outrigger canoe, sailing… which of course can be a plus or minus depending on the individual and where they are at any given point in time.

    www.stackedadventures.com

    http://okalani.org

    www.mikespaddle.com

    also, there are several other sailing/yacht clubs on island that may have youth offerings (scholarships?) to check out. club nautique, island y.c., alameda y.c., encinal y.c., aeolian y.c., ballena y.c. ⛵️ you might consider calling around.

    glad to hear your kid took to water sports. water has been scientifically proven to be a calming thing for stressed bodies and minds. this i know first hand. you are doing GREAT mama or papa bear!!! all my best wishes to your new expanded family!  ❤️ 

    I would also recommend checking out Oakland Strokes (rowing). They row out of Tidewater in Alameda and they have a free 2 week trial for high school kids. https://www.oaklandstrokes.org/high-school-racing-team

  • Hello BPN!

    Well, my 15 year old will be completing her first year of High School next week and had an Absolutely Amazing Year! Now … what to do for the summer? She is headed to visit family for a week down south. But, nothing else is scheduled. What are your rising 10th graders doing this summer to keep busy and not become Couch Potatoes? My daughter is not old enough for a part time job just yet. By the time she turns 15.5 for a work permit, school will be starting again. Also, she is going to be in Honors Geometry next year any suggestions on how to get her “mind ready” for that? Gone are the Summer Workbook days LOL!

    Any suggestions are greatly appreciated! I always plan in 1 week of nothing at the start and 2 weeks of nothing at the end. So, she has plenty of time to be a “couch potato”.

    Thanks So Much Village!

    This article came out just as my daughter turned 15: https://archive.nytimes.com/parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/07/what…

    So, skeptically, I let my child "do nothing." That summer was surprisingly valuable for both of us. I learned to trust that she would not become a couch potato, and she learned a lot about her own interests, skills, and self-sufficiency. My daughter, all on her own, because I was at work all day, found friends and activities, such as rock climbing, ice skating, and hiking, that she could figure out public transportation and budgeting time and money. That summer really boosted her confidence and has had a lasting impact.

    It may be too late for this Summer but GGNRA has a great paid HS Intern program for her age I believe. It was an exceedingly well run, interesting, and fun growth challenge for my daughter for 3 Paid summers. If I remember correctly their application deadline is January or February. Best of luck!

  • Anything really great you have heard about/done?  He is interested in biology, mountain biking, surfing but we are open to whatever could be a great experience and expand his world:  college programs, internships, unique things...  We did NOLS last summer which was beyond amazing.  Thanks!

    The Crucible (https://www.thecrucible.org/classes/youth-classes/) has great programs for teens. Their focus is industrial arts, including welding, glass blowing, woodworking, and ceramics. I've done adult classes there (jewelry making) and my daughter did leatherworking camp multiple times.

  • Looking for ideas on what to do with my 13 year old son this summer, starting high school in the fall.   I've been looking for some kind of camp in July where he can engage with other kids (not sports oriented) and I'm struggling to find something that only runs in July.  Thanks for any ideas.

    The Crucible runs great 1/2 day industrial arts camps during the summer. I think it's all week-long camps, so timing is flexible. The downside is cost, as they are on the expensive end (but you get a lot for the money). He could learn welding, leatherworking, or glass blowing, among other things. It's a block from the West Oakland BART station and on the 62 bus route so he could manage his own commute.

  • Hello BPN Fam -- Looking for ideas on what's available this summer for rising 9th and 10th graders in the Berkeley (Oakland/Albany/El Cerrito) area. Open to online, hybrid and COVID conscious outdoor (or even indoor in very small pods) activities. Open to academic, musical, artistic, outdoor adventure (though not team sports), community service, etc. Thanks!

    My BHS student plans to take one or two classes through the Peralta Community College system (presumably it will be online) and she also has a job. 

  • Could some of you recommend a super engaging online course for my 16 yr old son to take this summer? He is an athlete & team sports may be hugely curtailed so I need a few ideas to occupy him. He’s really bright but NOT super academic & has ADHD. He loves controversy & argument so for example he’s been listening to Ben Shapiro podcasts to have something to argue with us liberal Jewish parents about (gay rights, feminism). He’s interested in economics, ethics, politics, black culture, business. I don’t care if he gets high school credit for the class but it might be incentive for him to compete for an A (he’s very competitive)! Thx

    I’ve got the answer!!     

    The Practice Space, El Cerrito is holding a summer debate camp.  Either in-person or online depending on COVID-19. He’ll work with a top parli coach, who brought El Cerrito High School the state championship in 2019.  

    This will be an extremely rigorous program.

    https://www.practice-space.org/

  • My son has been attending fun-filled summer camps every year for his whole childhood. He is 12 now and I'm starting to think this is no longer a good thing. He is developing a sense of entitlement about every summer and every school break—as if it is meant to be all about him at all times.

    He also doesn't believe me when I tell him not all kids get to go to camp, that many kids live in apartments or homeless shelters instead of houses, that lots of families go to the laundromat because they don't have washers and dryers where they live, etc., etc. As my words were having no impact, I had him watch a documentary about poverty in America. He said it was sad but nobody he knows in Berkeley lives like that so he should still get to do all the fabulous things that all the wealthy Berkeley families do. 

    Mind you, we don't live like a super wealthy family. We drive an old used car, have never had a video game player, we have not given him an iPhone or a tablet, we have not taken him on any vacations out of the country or to expensive resorts, his life is not filled with material stuff in any sense. But maybe we have made the mistake of believing it is our job to ensure all of his days are filled with fun activities. It makes me sad that he doesn't see his life as one filled with good-fortune, but instead as something his parents are "supposed" to give to him. 

    I would like to change this by helping him to discover the joy of contributing to others instead of just the joy of his own entertainment.  I'm going to sign us up to volunteer at a shelter on the weekends, but I really also want to find a sleepaway summer camp that is about helping others. And not the kind of "helping" that flies kids off to Puerto Rico or Barcelona for an exciting adventure in the guise of a "volunteer opportunity," which seems to be the only thing I can find online. 

    Would love to hear if any of you have found something like this. 

    I think volunteering to "help others" is not going to change his perspective all that much, as opposed to being immersed in a more diverse peer environment at or outside of school. Does he go to public school? What about going to a free summer program such as Aim High? If this is not possible a simple change would be to be a CIT rather than a camper, and have some responsibility for younger kids. At a public summer day camp rather than at an expensive sleepaway camp.

    I hear you on kids feeling like they are entitled. That's something that we battle in our family as well. I don't have an option that directly fits your ask about summer camp, but I did want to share that my kids, both now teens, have been attending a backpacking & nature-focused camp called Camp Woolman. I like that it's a down-to-earth, rustic place where kids are expected to pitch in and help. Although it's camp and mainly about fun, the kids still have to do rotation on dish duty and other chores. There are lots of kids from a wide-range of socio-economic backgrounds and alternative family structures. My kids have been exposed to many people that they wouldn't have otherwise met (we live in Lamorinda). While at camp, they spend time hiking on the Pacific Crest Trail, and being in nature and away from technology is a wonderful thing! Good luck with your search.

    Having been through something similar with my tween daughter, I have some slightly alternate suggestions based on my own experience. I think the thing for me is not just that kids need to understand their social privilege, it's also about gaining independence by taking action and being self-sufficient - going beyond "Mom and Dad take care of everything for me". To that end, one thing that has made a big difference is Scouts. I know it's not that politically popular here, but in addition to the  community service orientation, scouting encourages kids to make their own group decisions as a troop and also their activities - such as camping - require everyone to pitch in. I have seen tremendous growth in my child in terms of being proactive and thinking of others.

    Also, my child loves animals, and so we have collectively gotten involved with volunteering with an animal-related charity. It's not about helping needy people, but I see the empathy kick in about someone outside herself. Remember that your 12-year-old is at an age where he doesn't look so kindly on being forced to do things by mom and dad... it's all about him beginning to take ownership. Hope that helps. 

    It sounds to me like you have the best of intentions but you are still engineering your child's life. I'd suggest sending him to a camp that is more "cheap and cheerful" next year. Our kid goes to camp through Oakland Parks and Rec, which is a very affordable but decent day camp (meets at Montclair Rec center). If this isn't close to you then perhaps you can find another very basic camp run by the city you live in. The YMCA also offers some good basic camps. At these camps he will meet people who are less privileged than you have inadvertently raised him to be. This might help get him on a better path and it sounds like might be more in line with your pocket book and your own values. 

    He is also getting to the age where he can be a councilor in training which might give the type of experience he needs in having to look out for those who are younger than he is. 

    Your heart is in the right place! Good luck. 

  • Greetings,

    I am new to the network and am looking for fun, especially outdoor activities, my 15 year old stepson can participate in for the summer while he is here. He lives out of state and will be visiting for a month.

    In the home he lives in most of the year, he is glued to video games, even on the weekends.

    During his visit, when his dad and I are not working, we'll be camping, dirt biking, and swimming. We love the outdoors and our teen does, too, when given the opportunity. We want to ensure that our teen has some great activities to do during the week, especially since he will be fasting from video games.

    Your stepson is old for many day camps, but Cal Adventures offers camps focusing on activities like sailing, sea kayaking, and rock climbing that include teens.  We used to sign my visiting nephews up for these, and they enjoyed them.  I think Cal also has Archery camps for teens.  Alternately, maybe he could be a junior counselor at an outdoor camp like Sarah Science.

    Hi,  we haven't done camps in some years but when my son was that age, he enjoyed the week-long Cal Camps that played basketball, I believe, but there are different sports available.   He also did a tennis camp.  I think that you can find information about these in the archives.  For a different side of the brain, we also did BandWorks, a school of rock and roll which is in Oakland which caters to complete beginners and up.   It's a lot of fun.     I am sure that there are now rock-climbing camps in Berkeley as well if that interests him.   These camps are not inexpensive, however.   I'd also look into the Y for summer activities.  good luck! 

    My advice is for the parents to put the boy's computer in the living room and remove all schoolday/night access he has to phones and video game consoles.

    Teens resist when there are limitations placed on there video game playing, but eventually, these limits benefit everyone.  The teen most of all!

  • summer activities for 13yo

    Jan 30, 2017

    I have a 13yo boy and am beginning to think about the summer.  If you have/had a young teen, what activities did they do during the long break?  He has tried CIT type of things and will probably do them again, but not every week.  In the past, he's had some weeks of nothing planned, but again don't want that every week.  He is still interested in some camps for older kids (through Cal, The Crucible mainly), but it seems there are not many.  He's too young to get a job, isn't he?  I should also say that transportation (for some half-day/middle-of-the-day activities) would be an issue some of the days as both parents work.  I'd love to hear ideas.

    When my son was 13, he loved Abantey, Roleplay Workshop, on Piedmont Ave. it was all day playing a Roleplay game that Becky, the owner and a former teacher, developed. It taught the kids logic, cooperation, math,... they spent time outside playing as well. It was one of the best activities we found for him. 

    The other activity he liked was Camp Galileo Summer Quest. Again all day.

  • We are looking into summer options for our daughter, who will be 16 years old in June. She found what looked like a great program in NYC to learn about journalism, but it was close to $5k for 2 weeks, plus airfare and lodging. There are a lot of web sites out there, but how to know they are legitimate and of good quality? She's open to traveling and learning- other options she discovered include Poland, Costa Rica, and France (she is studying French). She did see something that is on the BPN site from 2011, but the link doesn't go to a live website. While we'd love to go somewhere with her, we both work and can't afford much time off...anyone have recommendations for good programs for a teen - either fun, local learning programs or something that involves travel? Thanks in advance!

    My parents found a wonderfully engaging summer option for me at 16-17-18. It was called "work." I was a camp counselor, I interned at a friends business and I also worked at a newspaper immediately after high school. It didn't cost my family anything and most of what I earned went towards college costs. 

    I can't comment on any academic programs, but our family has had a fabulous experience with a hiking-based summer camp program. The Teen Leadership Camp at Camp Woolman, in Nevada City, is a program for 15 and 16-year-olds and the teens spend 8-10 days hiking on the Pacific Crest Trail (the rest of the two weeks are spent in camp, and the teens have their building separate from the rest of the camp). Their program is reasonably priced, and our children have gained a lot of confidence and learned new skills being out on the trails. The camp focuses on values such as justice and sustainability. Their website is: http://camp.woolman.org/teen-leadership

    how about ... a job? 

    PLEASE steer her away from journalism. It is a horrible, frustrating life and there are fewer and fewer jobs every year. That program sounds like a total rip. 

    There are so many summer job opportunities for 16 year olds in the Bay Area. I am very happy that both my kids started working in the summers once they were in high school, one as city summer day camp junior counselor and the other as teaching assistant in a middle school academic summer program. They loved these jobs, gained employment experience and skills as well as money, and jobs working with younger kids look good on college applications too. There are many other types of youth summer employment and internship programs that your kid could take advantage of while still living at home in an urban area. (after HS my older kid went on to work leading the hiking trips at the teen hiking camp referenced above, which i also recommend, but we didnt pay - he got paid.)

    NOLS is a great program, but very expensive. Lots of colleges offer summer study programs but they too are expensive. ATDP I'm sure has a class that would be interesting, and although still somewhat expensive, is local and therefore a lot less than going across the country. A lot of people have suggested she get a job, but, having 3 teenagers myself, I can attest that it's difficult to find jobs where you actually earn any money if you're under 18 other than babysitting, dog walking, watering people's plants when they're on vacation, etc. The camp counselor jobs mostly require that you pay them for several years to "train" your child, and only after several years do they let your child work for free or pay her - the whole camp counseling thing is kind of a racket if you ask me. There was a yogurt shop that one of my kids was going to work at, but the manager was pretty inflexible about working my child's working hours around other activities, so he ended up not doing it. 

    There was a commentary in the New York Times a year or so ago titled In Defense of Nothing about how parents should not plan their teen's summers and just wait to see what the teens come up with themselves. I was sure my teen would spend the whole summer on the couch watching Netflix but she proved me wrong, finding several valuable experiences all on her own. 

    Community College classes are free for teens (except for the books). Be mindful of deadlines and prerequisite tests.

  • Our 14 year old daughter fractured her wrist last week, and is now sidelined from her beloved sports team, and had to cancel plans to ski over the upcoming break. She is devastated. It's her right arm, so she is having trouble writing , typing and drawing. 

    Does anyone have suggestions for activities over break for a kid in this predicament? 

    We are on a tight budget, too, Which adds to the challenge.

    thanks for any ideas.

    When my daughter broke her leg in middle school, the first day of spring break, she had a great time having friends over to play old fashioned board games. Her friends really stepped up (no pun intended) to make time to come over and hang out.

    Hi, I can appreciate your need for fun and free or inexpensive things to do for your daughter.

    At the Berkeley Public Library, we have some fun activities this winter break that might help give your teen some cool things to do. On Tuesdays there is Anime Club 4-5pm @South Branch. they watch great anime videos and have refreshments. Our Crafts programs, Teens Make Some Thing, are on Tuesday the 20th 4:30-5:30 @West Branch and Wednesdays (21st and 28th) 2:30-3:30 @North. Our Teens Game On! programs, where we play video and board games, are Wednesdays 2-5pm @Claremont Branch and Thursdays 3:30-5 @North Branch.

    Some other programs that might be fun: on Tuesday the 20th is a free Yoga class @Claremont Branch 7-7:45pm (I am sure the instructor can offer alternate poses to accommodate your daughter's injury). Friday, December 23rd is Super Cinema where they are screening "It's a Wonderful Life" 3-5pm @Central. It's part of the "Characters You Want in Your Corner" theme for December. 

    Everything is free and open to the public, teen events are for people in 6th grade through age 19. :) We also can just be a cool place to hang out with free wifi, a plethora of books and magazines to peruse, and more. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions, I'll be here these two weeks. :)