Help for husband's pre-travel anxiety

My husband becomes very anxious about upcoming air travel - both for work and leisure.  He is not scared of actually flying, but all the logistics around it  - what if he forgets to pack something, traffic on the way to the airport, no overhead bin space, delayed or cancelled flights, rude airport workers, etc.  In the couple days before having to fly, he will work himself up so much that he actually starts feeling sick.   He has never had a traumatic event while flying and he knows his anxiety is somewhat irrational.  He loves going on road trips and does not feel this amount of stress.  Is there any type of therapy that could help ease his anxiety around this?  Thanks!

Mar 5, 2023

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RE:
Help for husband's pre-travel anxiety (Mar 5, 2023)

My son had panic attacks around flying for 10 years and immediate and full resolution after doing a day clinic at the SFO fear of flying clinic and going through the book SOAR (Soar: The Breakthrough Treatment For Fear Of Flying by Tom Bunn). the book is really focused on fear of flying/ airplane but they also have an excellent therapy (self guided) to tie each event of going to airport, etc with something that releases oxytocin and I imagine that may help with the type of anxiety that you are describing around the other events. 

Mar 8, 2023
RE:
Help for husband's pre-travel anxiety (Mar 5, 2023)

I have anxiety around pre-trip logistics too.  I'm not afraid of the actual flying, but I get so agitated in the day or two before the trip that I am very unpleasant to be around. In the last few years I've been on a number of 2-week trips and a couple of 4-week trips so I have a lot of practice. What I do to calm myself down:

  1. Very early airport arrival. I know this is irrational, but I need to be at the gate at least 1 hour before boarding time for domestic, and 2 hours before for overseas. I'd rather sit for an hour in the waiting area than stress about getting there in time.  This extra time actually helped us one time when we got to SFO for a flight to Europe with a baby and a grandma and realized we had forgotten to grab the bag with the passports. We still had time to drive to Berkeley and back, in rush hour! Worst case scenario.
  2. Not Park-n-Fly.  For me it is extremely stressful to drive to SFO, park in a long-term lot, wait for the shuttle, climb on with the suitcases, spend 30 min getting to the airport, possibly in rush hour traffic, then climb off with the suitcases.  I also have anxiety about coming back and not remembering where we parked, or can't find the car keys, or forgot to turn off the interior lights. So we always either get a Lyft or take BART. Overseas we book a car in advance and have stayed in an airport hotel the night before, to lower stress levels.
  3. Pack at least 2 days ahead. Be excessively organized. I pack early because in the few days before the trip I'll suddenly remember something I forgot to pack. My suitcase which I love (TravelPro) has multiple compartments and a space for hang-up clothes, and I use packing cubes - one for underwear, one for bras, one for socks, etc.  This forces me to remember all the things. It might sound too OCD but then I'm not the spouse who forgot to bring underwear one time!
  4. Utility kit: Take the time to find the right kit that is organized enough to force you to remember the important stuff. Sure you can buy stuff you forget when you get there, but I've wasted valuable tourist time hunting down a shop that carries that one item I needed. I keep my utility kit always packed with the essential stuff even when I'm not traveling. I have a list in my kit with the 5 things I can never forget and I check them all off when I pack. When I'm on the road if I notice something I'm out of, or something I needed that I didn't have, I write it down and put the note in my kit. I travel with a pen and pad for this purpose.  When I get home as I'm unpacking, I refill all the containers, get more toothpaste, add Q-tips, whatever is needed so it's ready to go on the next trip.
  5. Travel stash: I have a tote bag in my closet where I keep stuff I only use when I travel, so when I'm packing, I go through the travel stash and pull out what I need, such as: lightweight power cord, nightlight, fork-spoon kit, neck pillow, etc. 
  6. Prescriptions: I use a daily pill dispenser and when I travel, I fill up a second one and put one in my suitcase and one in my purse or laptop bag. I actually forgot to bring my pills one time on a week-long trip so this saved me.

I hope this helps!

Mar 8, 2023
RE:
Help for husband's pre-travel anxiety (Mar 5, 2023)

Hi! A close friend of mine was in a very similar boat for most of his life. He started EMDR therapy a couple of years ago and has been able to peacefully and happily embark on many more travels with his family! He’s been to Europe twice this year and said the EMDR has made an incredible difference for him. I don’t have first-hand experience myself but wanted to share this anecdote when I saw your post. 

Mar 8, 2023