Autistic 4year old: need advice
Hi parents, we found out my son had ASD when he was around 3.5. He is 4.5 years now. It's been a tough year of trying to figure out ways to understand him more. I constantly struggle with the clinginess, interrupting, certain behaviors etc. He is an incredible son and 80% of the time everything is great, the other 20% is super hard for us. He is verbal (with a speech delay), huge amounts of energy, kind, playful and silly. He currently goes to an outdoor nature school and does really well there but will attend indoor public school in August which I am super nervous for.
I'm wondering if anyone has someone they can recommend who can help me understand his brain more, his mannerisms, why he does what he does etc. I don't know what this persons title is, probably not a doctor but maybe someone highly educated in autism and a coach/mentor of some sort.
Thank you!
Parent Replies
Hi,
Thank you for sharing your concerns with your son.
I recommend speech therapy and or ABA therapy. We had the same diagnosis and the doctor gave us the referral to start ABA therapy. The school district is also supportive and working with the child's needs.
Check out EACS
https://www.embracingautismservices.com/
Theyve been great for us to work with since our son was diagnosed last year at age 6. We've worked mainly with Caitriona, who is amazing, and more recently with Nicole as well. We likee veryone there! Our son has been a part of social groups and in their summer camp. We've also had parent meetings with Caitriona and I think that is super helpful to help frame (and reframe) your persepctive on your kid and workshop different approaches. She can also meet 1:1 with your kiddo. (I definitely recommedn starting there so she can get a grasp of your kid)
but really you can also work with the others I just don't know them as well. And there's an SLP who's supposed to be great.
check them out, and good luck. I know how hard it is. I wish our son had been diagnosed earlier, but the pandemic was not great timing for that;)
Warm greetings! I am a mom of two autistic children, and I have taken it upon myself to learn everything I can about ASD. Lots of book reading and research have been involved. Learning about methods and strategies to help your child is very worthwhile, and I highly recommend it! Best of luck to you.
If he has a medical diagnosis you can put him in speech therapy, occupational therapy, social skills, and/or ABA therapy. My son was diagnosed with HF ASD unofficially by OUSD and then I got a medical diagnosis through a developmental pediatrician. The various therapists have all given me helpful incite on why my son does the things he does. I’ve also educated myself on ASD by reading, researching, attending seminars, and parent support groups. Its definitely a journey and the more you understand ASD the better you can support your child. I started my son on all those therapies at 3.5 years old and OT and social skills were the most helpful for him. ABA helped some, but as in all therapies, the therapist/provider was key to my son’s learning. It was only those who were genuinely caring and empathetic that he would listen to.
My son is about to turn 10 years old and he’s improved tremendously. He still has struggles, but overall I’m very proud of him learning how to deal with what his body needs and those therapies definitely taught him how to do that. I read/heard that autism peaks at age 3-5 and not sure how true that is, but those were definitely by far the hardest years for him and us to date. Hang in there because it gets better with love and support.
Hi there,
Is you haven't already, contact the Regional Center of your county - to access funding for autism-related needs - from different therapies to (potentially) tuition at the school where your son is thriving.
I've gotten helpful info and advice from:
DREDF Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund
3075 Adeline Street, Suite 210
Berkeley, CA 94703
510.644.2555 v
510-841-8645 fax/tty
info [at] dredf.org (info[at]dredf[dot]org)
Orange County Asberger's Support Group - OCASupport [at] gmail.com (OCASupport[at]gmail[dot]com)
Parents Helping Parents - info [at] php.com (info[at]php[dot]com) | www.php.com
In our society, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Go for it! Wishing you well.
Please avoid ABA. Autistic communities have identified that these interventions can cause more harm than good. There is lots of evidence based research you can google. I recommend the podcast Uniquely Human, which features perspectives across the autism communities.
We have had very positive experiences with Dr. Lauren Tolk's group Whole Child, both working with Lauren and one of her collaborators, Nann Phoenixx-Dawn. We have an 11 year old for whom it took me years to get a proper assessment and supports.
Dr. Devon Price's book Unmasking Autism is a great book (or audiobook). Even though your child is young, it's important to have a larger social context in which your child will have to navigate.
I applaud you for your interest in understanding your neurodivergent son better. As the parent of a HFA son who had difficulties since he was in preschool but wasn't officially diagnosed until 2nd grade, I spent a number of years trying to help my son fit in more with his peers and the neurotypical world we live in. It was years of not truly knowing how to support him and living with the calls from school, meetings and upsets. We started working with Whole Child Psychological Services when my son was 9, which was a life changing event. They helped me see the world through my son's eyes, set up our daily life to work for him. and advocate for his needs in his public school setting. We are still working with them 5 years later and couldn't be more grateful for how they have helped our family. My son is a thriving teenager who still needs a lot of support and guidance but I now feel that I have the tools and mindset to help him through things. I couldn't recommend Whole Child more. Good luck in your journey.
I also recommend learning as much as you possibly can about autism and in particular learning how you and the other non-Austistics in your child’s life are the ones who need to change (and not the other way around!) In addition to Barry Prizant and Devon Price’s excellent books, I highly recommend Debbie Reber’s book Differently Wired and her life-changing (for me) podcast and online community Tilt Parenting. Maybe start with Episode 99 of the Tilt podcast because it’s an interview with Barry Prizant about his book! I also love Linda Murphy’s books about co-regulation and declarative language (and you can check out interviews with her to learn about both of these concepts on the Tilt podcast). Lastly, there are two local experts who have been invaluable to our family: Floortime and social skills support aide Kendra Frautnick and Occupational Therapist Kristina Fuller.
Hello! Please check out: https://www.allbrainsspeechtherapy.com/about Molly is a wonderful person and a very effective therapist!