Gift Ideas for Anniversaries
Parent Q&A
Archived Q&A and Reviews
- 10th Anniversary Gift for Husband
- Parents' 50th Anniversary
- Group gift for our parents' 50th
- Inlaws' 50th Wedding Anniversary
- See also: Trip for Parents' 50th Anniversary
10th Anniversary Gift for Husband
April 2011
I am looking for suggestions for some kind of gift to give my husband for our 10th anniversary. I know it seems kind of weird to be asking a large group of strangers for suggestions for something so personal, but I struggle with thinking outside the box when it comes to gift giving, and I really want this anniversary to feel special. My husband is a pretty bare bones kind of guy who doesn't like or need lots of ''stuff,''and the stuff he does like or need he already has. We also don't have a lot of extra money, so it can't be something extravagant that he would never buy for himself. He's outdoorsy and feels most comfortable when he's out on a hike; he rides a motorcycle; he likes to read non-fiction; he loves a very wide variety of music and is always listening to something; and he works very, very hard. Anyone have any ideas of something they gave or received that was unique and special and meaningful? Thanks for any suggestions. Drawing a blank
Tin is the traditional gift for a ten year anniversary- it symbolizes the flexibility needed to make a relationship work for that long. If you google tin lantern a bunch of different ideas come up, some you can buy and some you can make yourself. Congratulations on 10 years!
Hi -- I just celebrated my 10th anniversary and gave my husband a gift certificate for a flight lesson at the Hayward flight school. It includes training and flying over the bay in a cessna. I bought a model of the airplane he'd be flying through Amazon and wrapped it together. It was a hit! married to a hard-to-buy-for man also
What about a photo book of your time together, maybe including maps of favorite hikes, favorite song lyrics, poetry or other text? Using Blurb or other book software gives great results, and it's a unique personal gift.
I made one of our first year of marriage as an anniversary gift, and my husband was completely charmed! newly wed
Some things I've done, from almost free to moderately priced--
-- booked a few hour whale-watching trip;
-- gone for a day hike somewhere unusual for us (Point Reyes, Jack London's place) and then gone out for lunch;
-- gotten cheap advance tickets to a comedy club;
-- bought inexpensive weeknight tickets to hear an up-and-coming jazz singer at a local club;
-- cooked his favorite dinner at home (steak, potatoes, apple pie)
-- gone to the Kabuki Theater with friends, after splitting some appetizers
-- bought matinee tickets to a local musical or gone to see an improv comedy group
-- A Cheap Date
I gave my husband a tandem hang gliding experience. We used a company that goes from Mt. Tam to Stinson. They were very safety conscious and it was great.
He gave me a helicopter lesson out at Buchanon Field in Concord. I already had some single engine plane experience and it was great fun.
You could get a friend with a sail boat to take you sailing and bring a gourmet packed lunch.
Sign him up for a sailing, sea kayaking or windsurfing class at Cal Adventures (and do the lesson with him... a drink at Skate's after).
Sign you both up for moonlight paddle at Cal Adventures at Berkeley Marina.
Go hiking with him, bring a blanket and pack a gourmet picnic and have a romantic afternoon. cocosar41
Since he doesn't really like stuff, but he has plenty of interests and not enough free time, why not give him an experience instead of a thing? Go camping with him for the weekend or plan a wonderful all-day hike where you pack a delicious lunch. Or since he likes music, find out when a band that he likes is playing at the Fox or another good venue, and get him tickets. Anon
I'm also a minimalist and prefer gifts of services or consumables rather than physical items. How about tickets to a really nice concert or performance. Or hiring someone to take care of something that has been on his to-do list forever. Fellow minimalist
Honey, that is so sweet of you.. but this will be our 11th. I love you.
I would like to go on a long ride with you for a couple of days. Ride north on highway 1 to the Lost Coast and campout. If we time it right on the way back we could stop off in napa to catch a live concert.
http://liveinthevineyard.com/
http://www.robertmondavi.com/rmw/at_the_winery/events_and_concerts/concerts/2
After the concert we can head back to the room we reserved at the local hotel..remember how it was when we first started dating, well maybe how I liked to remember how it was, and no I did not just roll over and start snoring. I work so hard, soaking in a nice hot bath having you scrub me from head to toe between my toes (especially the two big ones)and after a slow deep mutual massage. Love, zzzzzsnooor
Parents' 50th Anniversary
Oct 2008
My parents' 50th anniversary is coming up and my siblings and I are looking for ideas for a gift. We'd like to get something with sentimental value that they can keep and display. Something along the lines of an engraved silver platter. Any ideas for something classy (not tacky)? Thanks. Dutiful Daughter
Congratulations! My parents in Germany celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this year and I went through a one year search to find the right present. I finally found it at www.personalizationmall.com. It is a beautiful glass/see- through 4x6 large picture frame with space for personal engravings (50th anniversary, the couples names and the anniversary date) and one of three tasteful poems if you choose to. It came to about $50 incl. shipping. Don't jump on it right away, because the company has special offers every month from 20% off to free shipping. It was my parent's favorite gift! I took several dressed-up photos of them right before the party and they selected one of them for the frame. HH
This may not be the ''Main'' event...but one thing we did with a 50th anniversary was to go to one of those Photo Studios in the Mall. Everyone had gathered for the 'party' and the day after, before leaving town, we went to the Mall for the photo shoot. It only took about an hour and we each purchased as many (or as few) reprints as we wanted. We had many variations of Grandparents/Grandkids; Grandparents with everyone; and there was plenty of time for individual families to get a quick picture, too. It was much cheaper than hiring a photographer for the party and the pictures are a family treasure. sk
What about a sterling picture frame, engraved with their names and the date--destined, of course, to hold a photograph of your parents on their anniversary. (Or a dual frame to hold both wedding and 50th-anniversary photographs.) Melanie
I never even considered wandering into that store called ''Things Remembered'' that is in so many shopping malls. However, on the birth of my child, a friend sent us a silver picture frame engraved with his name and birthdate, and it is lovely. It's not super high quality, but not low quality either, and it's not real silver which fortunately means I don't have to deal with tarnish or polishing. Anyhoo, how about a frame engraved to commemorate the occasion? If you like, you can include a professional portrait so you'll have something great to go in it. Easier to hang on the wall than a silver platter. L
Oh wonderful!! I hope you'll do what I did for my parent's 40th anniversary. It was perfect and they love it sooo much! I made a photobook for them through Shutterfly. I asked their friends and family to write a letter of any length to them, congratulations, whatever. And to send me a picture. Most of this was done via email. Then I put it into a photobook. It was a lot of work. I scrapbook and so I thought doing it on the computer would save me lots of time. Really though, I don't know if it saved me that much time. But, it was worth it. My parent's were floored to get such a gift that they will treasure for their remaining years. Take care! Nicole
My siblings and I collaborated on a photo book for our parents 50th anniversary. We scanned about 200 photos from their courtship through the grandchildren. We were able to thread their love story throughout the book using captions and scanned letters. The photo book is a beautiful tribute to 50 years together and they display it on their coffee table. We used Shutterfly to create the book. Give memories.
We came up with a great idea for my 75 year old parents who live in SF. They have all the silver, china, an vases a couple will ever need. We hired Katie at 'You Need a Wife Personal Assistant' to deliver a meal to them each Monday night. She goes to Whole Foods and buys the menu we agree upon and adds dessert, wine and flowers. They have leftovers for days and love the weekly surprise. She is a delight.
Group gift for our parents' 50th
Jan 2005
My parents will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary in June, and I know my mother expects something from us--four grown children (married with kids). We are all going on a get-away weekend trip together, where we will go to dinner, but I am wondering if people can suggest a group gift that we siblings can get/make/ create for them. I was thinking of a photo book from Shutterfly or something like that. I want it to be something memorable or special, rather than something expensive and useless. Any and all ideas welcome. We are four adult siblings with a combined total of nine grandchildren ranging in ages from 2.5 to 13. Thanks! Youngest daughter
For my mother's 60th birthday, the year after my father died, my brother and I got her a gold bracelet with 4 gemstones inset in it --my parents and ours. She loved it and it really felt like she was wearing something that symbolized our family, represented all of us together. It was not cheap, but it was beautiful, and we had it made at 14 Karats, on College avenue. I think, actually, that the idea was theirs as well! They were wonderful there, and very creative about creating meaningful jewelry.
Congratulations to your parents on their anniversary! We've done a couple of things for my folks' big birthdays and anniversaries. One was a video of old family photos--from their courtship to their grandchildren-- set to sappy music. They loved it! My sister in law in the midwest put it together through a photo storefront. Another thing that has meant a great deal to my parents was to set up a special fund at a charity organization they have supported over the years. In our case it was a special scholarship for at-risk teens. We got everyone we could to pitch in, and ended up with a substantial start. They really loved it! And since then we have made regular contributions to it at birthdays holidays and anniversaries, as have a few other family members. It's a great, far- reaching way to give. Carolyn
I have a suggestion that we did for my grandparent's 50th. It takes one person to coordinate, but everyone can contribute, including family friends, regardless of their talents. Send everyone a square of heavy, pre-washed white fabric and told them we are making a quilt. The instructions are to decorate the piece in any way that is meaningful to their relationship with your parents. It does not have to be fancy, could even be done with fabric paint. Tell them to leave a 2- inch border around the edge undecorated. Ask them to return it by a certain date. The squares we received back we wonderful! Some people did applique, some painted, some sewed on patches from clubs, some even took their squares to Kinkos and had a photograph transfered to the fabric! Once you receive the squares, you lay them out how you want, them sew them yourself, or find someone who makes quilts (easy to find on the internet and through sewing shops). You can even make two squares yourself to represent the beginning of their marriage and their 50th anniversary. We made those and put the first one in the upper left corner and the last one in the bottom right corner of the quilt. This DOES NOT have to be fancy, just sew them together (maybe 5 across and 8 down, or something even like that). Then pick a fabric to sew on as a border around all 4 sides (make this border as wide or narrow as you need to make the quilt fit whatever size bed you want), some soft, fluffy cotton batting for the middle and another fabric for the back. You can hire someone to quilt the front and back together in a very simple way, and they are usually quite fast about it! My grandparents cried and cried when we gave it to them. Even my grandpa! It's been 20 years and the quilt is still on their bed :-) Signed: alvarezm
How about professional portraits of the family as a group and then them alone, them with their children? Or do you know a lot of their friends? You could ask their friends to write notes to them including memorable moments and to send pictures they might have. All of those could be compiled in a scrapbook. Linda
My grandparents will celebrate their 50th anniversary this year as well. After much thought, we have decided to make a video for them. We are including pictures that capture their lives together - everything from wedding pictures, to baby pictures of my mother, pictures of all of us growing up, important milestones, etc. We are having it set to music - the song they danced to at their wedding as well as others that make us think of them. Another good idea is a homemade photo album. Jennifer
Hello, For my parents 50th my sister and I collected reels of 8 mm home movies as well as meaningful photos and brought it all to a video producer. We picked out all their favorite music and had it set to those songs. The result was a phenomenal, touching 18 minutes movie of their life which they really treasured. Also, we called all their old friends, many who lived back east and couldn't come to the party(we threw them a big party)and asked those friends to write stories, vignettes and share memories about my folks. We collected all those letters and used them to create an album , nicely decorated etc. They were moved to tears. Other cool ideas might be an ad in the newspaper, a mention on a favorite radio station... good luck! Kathi
For our parent's 50th we all chipped in for a Bose radio/CD player since my parents would never buy something like that and their old stereo wasn't working. The best is of course to spend time with them -- as my father died a few months later. Music can be very comforting. Cornelia
My in-laws celebrated 50 years a few years ago. Since they basically have everything they need and then some, we really didn't want to get them something that would just end up collecting dust. We did the usual... fancy dinner reception, special guests, professional photographer for family portraits, etc. For a gift, we found a gold-plated long-stemmed rose (it was at a jewelers that is now closed, but I've seen them around in gift-type shops). We had a simple charm engraved with their names and anniversary date and had it attached with a ribbon to the gold rose. We then took it to a florist and had it arranged with 49 live roses --- one for each year of marriage. The gold rose is now a keepsake of the event. --Signed: Hope I make it to 50!
I think the photo book is a fine idea. Another is to hire a professional photographer during your retreat to take a whole-family group photo (and perhaps some smaller groups as well). Maybe you can scout out (or the photographer can suggest) a visually striking outdoor location. Get the best one printed reasonably large and nicely framed. David
For my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, my two siblings and I had portraits taken of each of our families. We chose not to frame them ahead of time, because we knew my mother would prefer to choose the frames herself, but obviously, that would vary depending on the person. Our parents were delighted. I can recommend a fabulous photographer who is based in Marin. Lucy
I think a quilt. If the four of you grown kids are each responsible for one quarter of it? Maybe photo transfers of the grandchildren? There are several easy to follow books on the market about quilting and photo transfer. If you are not sewing people, if you can just get the top together, you can take it to New Pieces on Solano & they'll put the batting and a back on it and quilt it for around $200 last I checked. Jenny
Here's what we did last year for my parents. We are 3 daughters, 2 live out of town, one in town. We gave them a party, used the ''party room'' at their condo, invited 100 close friends, relatives. We asked everyone to do a memory page and included a beautiful piece of paper for them to use, and that we gathered and made into a book. We did a dessert table, had wine, soft drinks and did a champagne toast. We also took all the grandkids and had a formal photo taken (altho I wished I had a video of the making of the picture - it was hilarious to watch the cousins), very important since they are rarely in the same city together. And we took alot of pictures at the party of the family with all the spouses, kids, grandkids and were able to come up with one great picture of all of us to give them. We also made a trivia game based on my parents that we played with the guests, and it was very fun as there were people from all the various phases of their lives and they really got into it. We ordered engraved champagne flutes with their names etched around a 50, to use for a champagne toast and for people to take home as a gift (and we all have sets as well). Of course you may not want to or be able to do all of this, but maybe an open house where people can drop by would be easy. The memory book we made has been really fun to look over and alot of out of towners who couldn't come sent pages. The family photos were almost the most important since we are so rarely all in one city. Good luck, have fun. Hallie
it would be neat if one of the grandkids could draw a ''family portrait'' say with the grandparents in the middle, everyone holding hands, and each of the families (parents and kids) and then frame it. a friend of ours got one from a niece on Christmas it turned out really lovely (more or less the girl drew colorful stick figures all holding hands but you could tell who everyone was.) So that might be in addition to something from you and your sisters but it was very nice, so I thought I'd mention it. Chris
I hear you: I am your spouse in this context, and my partner is you. It is a point of stress for us that we have talked about. One thing that helped both of us is the idea of love languages (you can Google it): recognizing that people have different ways of showing, and wanting to receive, love. For example, my partner likes to show love by choosing thoughtful gifts and likes to receive love by (not only me trying to recognize and honor special days but also) us spending time together. I like to show love by doing small, daily things for her and like to receive love by having her recognize and appreciate those things. Thinking about gifts within this framework has not completely relieved the stress for us around gift giving and receiving, but I think it has helped. Good luck to you!
I've found having a third party like a therapist assist in the conversation to be tremendously helpful. My spouse is very similar to your spouse when it comes to gifting. Sometimes I handle it better then others. If there is a specific item or items you may want, I've found it helpful to give my spouse options. That way they can feel like they have options and it's less transactional. If you're more into experiences, tell them "Hey, I'd really appreciate it if you planned a weekend in tahoe(or wherever), can you make that happen for us."
I've found the best gifts are ones that can be a shared experience like a cooking class or a physical gift that facilitates a goal you may have. Your spouse is probalby paralyzed by their fear of disappointing you and rather than ask they are doing nothing. They just need some pointers!
From your post, it sounds like your spouse is engaged with the kids (attending lots of events!), enjoys spending time with you (nice dinner!), and with the family (family vacation!). Those are all excellent traits in a spouse! I hope that you can find ways to appreciate your spouse that doesn't involve the one thing you say your spouse is not good at--gift giving. I am in a similar relationship: I am a gift giver, it is my love language. My spouse is a horrible gift giver, and neither understands the giving nor the receiving of gifts. It took a while, but I realized this is not a hill I want to die on. My spouse is a loving husband, an involved father, and an all round great guy. We have a very good marriage; I just to recognize that he shows his love in different ways, and I had to stop looking for love expressed in gifts. Nowadays for special occasions I will take him shopping and point out what I want. I have even added gifts to our shared amazon cart. When it arrives, unwrapped of course, I act all happy and surprised. At the end of the day, I'd rather have a good husband than good gifts.
Hi there! I wonder if one of your love languages is gift giving which is why this is so important to you. That’s perfectly okay and nothing to feel badly about! Also sounds like you’re very good at planning :) First, I would say the fact that your spouse feels terrible when he gives you a “dud” means he cares greatly about how you feel. I would recommend a couple things:
2. As someone who also experiences depression I would want to know if something is bothering my partner. I would definitely bring it up since you don’t want it to fester. This could hurt your relationship and make it worse off for both you and your partner. Communication is key. What you can do though is be sensitive about the timing and delivery of your request and also be okay with whatever their answer is. For example, if they’re having a particularly bad day maybe that’s not the best time to bring it up. Or if your partner is more receptive to communicating via writing or even on the phone those are other options too.
3. Lastly, this may be challenging - but maybe rethink what presents you consider a dud? You could just try to focus on the thought that your spouse went out of your way to get you something. Or alternatively, you can both create Amazon wish lists of things you actually want and both have access to so you can just buy something off that next time you need to buy gifts for each other! Or you can create a Pinterest board that your spouse follows so he knows what you like. Lots of creative options out there!
Best of luck, pls don’t be too hard on yourself. Also remember you are not in charge of solving your spouse’s depression. You can’t fix it for them, you can only help them help themselves. On another note, cognitive behavioral therapy has been most helpful to me in combatting depression. This book explains it: Feeling Good.
A technique that’s worked for me (never had good gifting intuition and don’t feel the value of gifts myself) is getting into contact with a “body double” (close friend or relative of the giftee who is very good at picking gifts for the giftee). I also set reminders (calendars and alarms) several weeks in advanced to set up a call with that contact to pick out a gift together and have accountability for ordering it to ensure it arrives on time. You could try building up some scaffolding by helping your spouse set up reminders ahead of time in whichever way works best for them, and putting them in contact with a friend of yours who always nails the gifts for you? If the surprise element is important to you, you could even coach a friend of yours to fully own the gifting process including setting the reminders and calling your spouse, so that you have no part in it. I have also noticed when it’s busy at home, there’s really no stress-free time to bring up criticism gently. In that case I try to schedule a “decompress and reflect” time after kid bedtime to make space for these kinds of conversations. It’s hard, I know.
Does it really make you “sad” that you don’t receive a present/gift on your anniversary? Of all the things going on in the world the fact that your spouse and family are alive seems like the greatest gift to me. Why don’t you stop going out of your way. It’s apparent from what you’ve written that they are unable to reciprocate in the way you are expecting and giving. Not saying any thing only fosters resentment. I think you need to look at your expectations v reality. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on receiving gifts. Then when you don’t like it (read: doesn’t live up to your expectations) they feel crappy. What a nightmare. I think you plan trips and nice dinners because you want to. If you’re always keeping score and expecting something in return then it takes the joy out of it.
Yes yes yes. Bringing it up. Talk to them. Practice the conversation so it won’t turn into argument. Don’t let it fester! Your feeling matters!
Yes I think you should talk about this! I have a similar vibe in my marriage and I realized that those gifts and recognition of milestones are just more important to me than to my spouse. Communicating your needs is the only way your spouse will know what you want them to do. It doesn’t sound romantic but really just give them a heads up “our ten year anniversary is coming up. I think it would be nice if we exchanged gifts. What do you think?” And then your spouse can tell you “I never know what to buy” or “I’m worried we are spending too much” or “I don’t like swapping gifts can we do something else instead?” Honestly, every year a week before Mother’s Day I tell my son “I would really like you to make me a card for Mother’s Day” and tell my family what activity I would like to do as a family. We would not do anything if I didn’t bring it up and I would be resentful but they are just wired differently and care about different things and they are happy to celebrate if I remind them.
As someone who has been happily married for 45, years, I can discuss our experiences around gifts.
We have gone through phases.
Our situation may differ from yours, in that I don't much desire a present unless it is something that I really want. I found a way to re-home all the stuff from my MIL, may she RIP, who measured love and loyalty as cubic yards of manufactured plastic junk.
In the beginning, I would give my spouse one big expensive gift on special occasions - while I could afford it.
Then the kids came, and money became tight. Frequently he had no clue as to what I wanted. For years he made a good-faith effort to get me some thing, and it would often be jewelry in a style that I did not care to wear.
It dawned on me that he could not possibly intuit my taste, any more than I could comprehend his willingness to watch awful action movies. It's a gender thing.
I made the decision that, like in Improv comedy, I would say "Yes! How wonderful!" to whatever he came up with, and he would feel relieved that he had done his duty.
Now that we have a lot of stuff and don't want to accumulate any more, I give him a bunch of small or consumable items on each occasion, and he feels appreciated.
My husband knows I am a big reader, so he and our adult kids buy me heaps of books, typically ones that I am not interested in reading. I told them to please not use Amazon, but support independent bookstores. For the last couple of gift occasions I have surreptitiously returned most of the books to the bookstore - with no receipt! - exchanged the books without saying anything, and everyone was happy,
In your case, you evidently feel a sense of attachment to receiving a special gift on key occasions and a sense of loss when your partner falls short. You are entitled to your feelings.
Perhaps at a suitable moment, you could ask your partner how THEY want to handle gift occasions. Could you set some ground rules?
Which is more important - the element of surprise, the suitability of the gift in terms of matching what you want to receive, the value? One gift or several?
If you can ask your partner how s/he wants to handle gift occasions, then voice your own preferences, it will clear the air.
It would perhaps be helpful if you can say clearly what you want. Give your partner a blueprint.
Maybe your partner flaked on getting you something this time because s/he feared that they would fail.
Finally, for me it has been a relief to let go of wanting gifts. As someone else wrote, if you are happy in your relationship and your family is healthy, diamonds and rubies are small stuff indeed.
Still, it is important to celebrate holidays and life's incremental occasions. What works for me is timely minimalism. But I do me, and you do you.
Hope this is helpful.
Loving and, as another parent suggested, “nonviolent” (e.g. “ I felt sad when…” rather than “You made me sad when…”) Communication is always a win in my own relationship. Sometimes you learn new things about your partner and it can help to see a situation differently.
Wishing you the best!
This sounds hard! It sounds like you know your spouse really well and also you know yourself — a great start.
A helpful communication framework for me in this kind of moment is to separate the problem (your feelings are hurt) from the solution (should your partner try to get you a gift, even if it stresses them out?)
Why is this important: showing love (or more specifically, buying gifts) for each other on milestone anniversaries is important to you because ______ .
Once you are clear with yourself about these 3 points, you can ask your partner if they can make some space to listen to you share your responses to the 3 above steps — without them trying to solve the problem or act defensively and spiral into shame. I like it when my partner can say “that sounds like it felt crappy!”
If after all that, you are ready to do some problem solving, I wonder if there are other ways besides gifts that your partner is good at showing you that they love and appreciate you — and I would encourage those actions. Maybe you can make gift giving less fraught by taking it out of the context of high pressure events and make gift giving something they do on Tuesdays. Or the full moon. Something small and silly. Or maybe you could be direct and tell them what you’d like! There are so many ways to take the pressure off.
Good luck to you!
This is hard. My spouse is a pretty lazy gift giver to be honest, even when provided with a wishlist (always waits until the last minute, thinks that giving any gift is equal to giving a gift that is wanted, etc). We’ve had multiple discussions about this, and I’m not sure that they’ve really helped a ton. Now that our kids are slightly older, they participate in the shopping and that has helped some because they won’t let him buy some random lotion set that I would never use. Basically, if I don’t get something that I like or will use, I will just buy something for myself. But yes, as much as I try to let go after all of these years, it can be disappointing.
If there is something that you would really like as an anniversary gift, I suggest mentioning it to your spouse directly. Best of luck!
I want to chime in late with a different point of view. Not everyone out here gives gifts to their spouses on anniversaries, or expects gifts back, milestone or not. I've been married to my guy for 25+ years and there have been exactly zero anniversaries when either of us gave a gift, card, flowers, or anything else. As a matter of fact if we didn't have a shared google calendar, and if my OCD spouse did not log every single birthday, holiday, and countless other events on that calendar, neither one of us would even know it was time to say happy anniversary. Doesn't mean we don't love each other or care about each other's feelings. We just don't value ceremonial trading of objects.
To be totally honest, my husband and I are also both terrible at gifting. When we really must buy a gift, like for someone's wedding, we always come up with the worst ideas that we regret for a long time afterwards. We love gift registries and those send-us-money requests kids do now on wedding announcements. We both buy our own Xmas gifts and wrap them as a show for the kids, or else send links in November to what we want. Our best friends always get us the most thoughtful and creative Xmas gift every year. We really can't NOT get them a gift. After weeks of agonizing we settle on something lame and embarrassing. We try, we fail, year after year. Luckily they are really good friends and they know us well so they have low expectations.
I can't imagine how stressful it would be if I were married to someone who expected me to acknowledge every significant date, and I especially can't imagine the pressure of having to think of something extra special for a big anniversary. It's making me sweat just thinking about it!