Comments about Duties & Policies
- Regarding these questions
15. Which of the following duties does your nanny fulfill?
| Response Pct | Response Count | |
| Taking children to extra-curricular activities (music classes, storytimes) | 42.3% | 315 |
| Light housecleaning (picking up after the kids, cleaning up table, etc.) | 74.3% | 553 |
| Pick up/drop-off from school | 26.6% | 198 |
| Heavy housecleaning (vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, etc.) | 5.9% | 44 |
| Fixing dinner for the whole family | 6.2% | 46 |
| Grocery shopping for the family | 7.3% | 54 |
| Miscellaneous errands | 12.9% | 96 |
| Buying kid-related supplies (diapers, milk) | 14.5% | 108 |
| Arranging playdates | 13.7% | 102 |
| Teaching my child to be bilingual | 41.8% | 311 |
| Doing the kid's laundry | 40.7% | 303 |
| Doing all household laundry | 19.4% | 144 |
| Fixing the kid's meals | 65.6% | 488 |
| Other (please specify) | 110 |
answered question 744
skipped question 141
16. Which of the following things does your nanny receive?
| Response Pct | Response Count | |
| Access to our car | 15.6% | 121 |
| An "allowance" of money to spend as they wish while they are with the children | 20.6% | 160 |
| Cell phone/cell phone allowance | 6.6% | 51 |
| Full day's pay if dismissed early (i.e., family arrives home earlier than usual | 74.5% | 578 |
| Full health care benefits | 2.2% | 17 |
| Help paying doctor's bills (not full health care) | 3.2% | 25 |
| Travel subsidy (BART card, bus fare, gas money, etc.) | 16.4% | 127 |
| Money for classes (English, other education) | 4.3% | 33 |
| Pay for caregiver's kids camp or classes | 3.5% | 27 |
| Personal memberships to local museums, zoo or gardens (that they can use when not with my child(ren)) | 11.9% | 92 |
| The ability to eat what she wants out of our kitchen | 69.8% | 542 |
| Sick/Personal Days | 69.8% | 542 |
| Vacation time of their own choosing (rather than just when you go on vacation) | 72.7% | 564 |
| Worker's compensation, disability, unemployment, social security tax | 16.1% | 125 |
| Other (please specify) | 89 |
answered question 776
skipped question 109
17. What is your policy about the following things?
| OK | Not OK | Response Count | |
| Running her personal errands while on duty | 42.8% (328) | 57.2% (438) | 766 |
| Inviting friends or other nannies to the house (not a playdate situation) | 30.1% (231) | 69.9% (536) | 767 |
| Taking my child to visit friends or other nannies (not a playdate situation) | 31.2% (238) | 68.8% (524) | 762 |
| Taking my child shopping | 55.2% (422) | 44.8% (343) | 765 |
| Personal calls on her cell phone while watching my child(ren) | 75.4% (590) | 24.6% (193) | 783 |
| Napping while my child naps | 67.7% (518) | 32.3% (247) | 765 |
| Personal calls on our home phone | 53.8% (400) | 46.2% (344) | 744 |
| Take my child to the nannies' house | 40.0% (306) | 60.0% (459) | 765 |
| Watching TV while child(ren) sleeps | 75.0% (576) | 25.0% (192) | 768 |
answered question 798
skipped question 87
18. Anything else you'd like to add?
"2 days per week at our house, 2 days per week at her house"
"All of my "no" responses above are generally permitted with my advance notification and permission."
"All of the above things I checked "ok" to are fine in moderation. If she has to take a call or do an errand while with my child that is fine with us."
"All of the items for which I've checked "OK" are okay only in moderation. For example, I certainly don't prohibit short phone calls but extended conversations, except in certain situations, wouldn't be acceptable. I certainly wouldn't deny short errands, either because some personal business can only be taken care of at certain times of the day. Most of the above don't apply to my current nanny (my daughter keeps her busy the 16 hours she's with us!). However, when we employed a full-time nanny when my daughter was younger, my daughter learned so much from their trips to the grocery store, friends' homes and gardens(not playdates), and local merchants. When our former nanny (now like family) visits, my daughter looks forward to their walks to The Elmwood and visits to the various merchants they used to visit(to buy phone cards at the cell phone store, chocolate and turkey sandwiches at A.G. Ferrari's, muffins at Nabalom, etc.) on their walks home from Willard Park or the ! library."
"All of these things are okay, but only because my nanny has been with us for almost 4 years and I trust her absolutely to have my children be her main priority while she is working. If she needs to go to the post office (or whatever) while she is working, that's fine. I know that she keeps these things to a minimum. If I was working with a new person, most of these things would not be okay."
"All of this is okay in small doses, and because she is who she is (fabulous and with great judgement); with someone else, i would have more rules."
"Almost all of the things you list are ok, with prior approval. Any visits with others would have to be approved of ahead of time."
"Although she's not bad with kids, she's definitely not the person I would like to watch my child if it were for many more hours. She only plays with my son for a few minutes and only every time I ask. She doesn't have good kid psychology. She calls me at work when he doesn't want to eat or misbehaves... Most of the time she's here, my son's sleeping. so, the fact that she's punctual is very important to me."
"As long as the errands run or visits to friends are on the "approved list." e.g. no visits to Target, but visits to grocery store to buy apples fine. no visits to random persons house, but to good friends house where there is a worthwile activity ok - for example seeing someones pet, greenhouse, garden, art studio."
"as long as the nanny tells me ahead of time, i would generally be ok with her doing things that were out of the ordinary (e.g. if she left her wallet at home or needed to run a critical personal errand)."
"As long as we know about above, and they're not a regular occurence (just as-needed), we're fine about it."
"Aside from cell phone calls, she always clears the other OK things with me in advance."
"because our nanny is part time, not many of these things is necessary."
"Care takes place at the other family's house, so I don't think she does any of these things- spends the day in the park."
"errands or shopping was limited to smaller errands that would not take up extensive time of the time children should be 'entertained', like 15-30 min. was okay. Being on the phone is okay, but again, only if it is not excessive, and of course no long distance from our home phone. TV is too noisy and would wake the second child in the share."
"for personal errands, our nanny has a bunch of "down time" each day, when kids are in school. she can do her errands during that time, without me complaining."
"Generally no napping while my child naps during the day, but okay in evening. I am okay with nanny bringing her 6 year old daughter along."
"Her cousin is also a nanny and at times, they meet at the park which is ok."
"Her primary job is to take care of the baby. She can do what she wants while she sleeps, but she generally does the laundry and dishes and cleans up. Then, she can talk on the phone or other things."
"I allow personal calls because I know she does not spend much time at all on the phone. If she were chatting a lot (like I see some nannies do in the park), I would get another nanny. I also allow her some leeway to do her own personal errands while on duty because I know she will not abuse the privilege."
"I am a stay at home mom. So, I take my son out for playdates and clases a lot. So, she has many breaks during the day and I also help to take care of my son when I am home."
"I am okay with all of the above because she never takes advantage (e.g. naps, t.v., talking on the phone, etc.)"
"I don't love that she spends so much time on her phone, but I know that she's going through some complicated personal situations and I choose not to make an issue out of it. In general, we're just flexible and understanding with each other. We never discussed any of these as "policies," they're just an understanding that has worked well for us in an informal way."
"I don't think any of the above really happed (other than brief personal phone calls), but in moderation, with prior approval would have been OK"
"I have allowed all of these and found I do not really like the kids being taken to their house, or them visiting with their friends whom I do not know. I will no longer be allowing it. Also, I have not discussed the whole napping while the kids nap thing. My husband says I would need a nap too - but I resent paying them to nap while I work."
"I think it is OK for the nanny to take an hour break while child is napping-- at that time cell phone and TV is OK, But past an hour, the nanny should be helping around the house."
"I think it's fine if my nanny takes personal calls but it should be in moderation. I don't believe she should be have a 2o minute conversation chatting with a girlfriend while she watches my child. A 5 minute conversation, on the other hand, would be exceptable."
"I think that the above questions are misleading because any of the above actions are reasonable if they are rare. I know that my nanny has the judgement to do most of these only in extreme circumstances, so I don't think it is appropriate to forbid any of these. For example, I think she has napped once at my house because she wasn't feeling well. Has taken my son with her to buy a birthday card once, but told me about it ahead of time and I was fine with it. I sometimes see her answer her phone with my son present, but she would never talk on it for lengthy periods."
"I trust my nanny completely to put my child's needs first, so while it's hard to imagine her even doing things for herself while working, I'd be ok with her doing most of the above if she should decide that for some reason it made sense."
"I trust my nanny's judgement on the items checked above. If any of them interfere with caring for my children, we would discuss it. For example, if she stops to pick up milk while she's driving my kids around, no big deal. If she takes them somewhere all day for her benefit, and not my children's that would be problematic. Most calls in her cell with her friends are brief and involve making a quick plan, but if she gabbed all day that would be another story."
"I walked in one day and she had the TV on so I just hide the remote when she comes. I find that she will do housekeeping if I request, but she doesn't look for it."
"I would have no trouble with the nanny taking my child to her house, except that there is a smoker in that house. I do not want my child exposed to cigarette smoke."
"I've never thought about most of the things in that list because they've never come up. Our nanny has 20 years of experience working for many different families (usually in share situations) and she seems to have developed her own professional style -- i.e., she hardly ever eats our food even when we encourage her to do that. She's very careful to ask before doing something that she isn't sure we would like, even after 6 years of working for us."
"In general we are ok with occasional personal calls or errands, but our nanny rarely does this and when she does, she asks if we are OK with her doing an occasional errand that cannot be accomplished during her non-work hours. We would be fine with our nanny taking our child to her home or for her to nap while he does, however she hasn't done that. We are fine with her watching TV, too, but again, she chooses not to do that."
"In terms of the above "policies," we have never worked out an official do and don't list because our nanny has always been very respectful of her time with the kids. She does household things that go above and beyond our expectations and in return, we trust that she uses sound judgement when it comes to her needing a "break" during the kids naps, etc. I can say she rarely does something like watch tv or nap. And on the rare occasion when she needs to run an errand or take care of something at her own home, she always asks permission."
"It is okay for our nanny to take breaks, watch tv or whatever but she simply never does so. Her personal calls are very short. She takes my child to play with her similarly aged grandchildren which I think is great for everyone - our child gets to play with other kids and see her nanny in her "real life"."
"It is our policy to allow our child care provider to take care of personal business and run her personal errands, etc. because we have a trusting relationship, and I believe she would not abuse any priviledges (for example she would not talk on the phone all day unless it was a genuine emergency)."
"It would be ok if she watched TV, but she never does. However, she does use our computer and the internet. She makes calls while the babies are asleep which is fine with me."
"It's okay if once and a while (say, twice or three times a year), her child accompanies her to work while she's caring for our child."
"Its easy to say I'd be OK with these things because they rarely happen. If any of these (except napping) became the rule rather than the exception, I'd have a problem."
"Many of the above situations aren't black and white. i.e. I trust our nanny's judgment. She will, for instance, occasionally answer cell phone calls while watching the kids but is never on the phone for more than a minute or two. Likewise, I know that she has taken the kids on a quick errand a few times (i.e. to pick up medicine). I would have issues if she was talking all the time on the phone, always running errands etc."
"Many of the issues above have never come up. But our "nanny" has increasingly become a friend; I sometimes keep her child (who is in Kindergarten while she is with mine) and we do dinner out with her family sometimes too.... I trust her implicitly so don't feel like I have to make rules about the above issues...."
"many of these in #1 have not been discussed, but I would actually be very upset if some of them were happening!"
"May only have female friends over, and not when working unless approved. If she had a regular boyfriend we might make an exception."
"More of a babysitter than nanny - expect her to be engaged with the kids at all times, not talking on the phone unless necessary."
"Most of the above are not applicable. They would be okay with me if she did them, as I trust her judgement, but in general do not come up."
"Most of these things are okay if done in moderation. An occasional call or visiting with other nannies (in the park only, I"m not okay with going to other houses), or running her own errands is fine. But, if that's all she's doing instead of going to the park, that's not okay."
"Much of the "not OK" has never come up, given how we're scheduled, and given that our nanny prefers to take our daughter other places (they're not here much)."
"Must inform in advance where will be with child/ren at all times (which park, etc)."
"My feeling on a nanny is that I am trusting her judgement to do what she wants with my children during the day - "Happy nannies mean happy children", if she wants to be out with them all day - that's great, if she wants to be home that's great. If she has a friend over who likes kids, or wants to bring to a friend's house who has a cute puppy ....fine. I trust her to use her own judgement, and if I didn't trust her this much, she wouldn't be my nanny."
"My nannies always ask if they need to do some errand for themselves during working hours and need to take the children with them. I greatly appreciate their consideration in asking and usually have not problem with this, particularly as it is unusual."
"My nanny has great judgement, others I have used I would be more strict with regarding these choices."
"My nanny meets other nannies and kids in the park on occassion, but not regularly."
"my nanny never does anything personal while on duty, but it would be okay with me as I know she would do it at a minimum."
"Nanny regularly takes children on walks, to the park and library."
"nanny share situation, doesn't realy have time for other activities"
"napping while my children nap is okay as long as her daily duties get done and she doesn't neglect the kids while awake to get them done. Cell phone calls okay, as long as brief, but never while walking the children in a stroller or when they are outside. Personal calls on our home phone okay, as long as brief."
"need a n/a cotegory - nanny does not have cell phone - takes my child to doour shopping, not hers - i allow very restricted personal errands with child - somtiems it really is necessary. My child really lke my nanny's mother, so they visit her about 1x month - not other friends - it deepnds on the sitauion really- survey needs more categoreis like sometimes, rarely, always, never, etc"
"Not OK to watch TV WITH the child. Personal calls are kept to a minimum. Visits to other nannies' houses are social, but the child is still the central concern."
"ok to bring her own infant along every day. her other child(ren) or relatives WITH PRIOR notice and not too frequently. urgent personal errands or calls ok, not regular, long distractions. occasionally ok to visit other nanies, with prior permission and preferably in playdate situation."
"ok to invite people, if cleared with us first"
"Ok to study, meditate or be on computer while sleeping."
"OK, for her sister to come if she asks first"
"Our babysitter is basically completely trusted with our kids, she's fantastic. She can pretty much go where she wants with the baby, largely because she's never taken advantage of that freedom, and can be relied upon to clean up if she sees there's a mess, or take on tasks that she thinks need doing (organizing the play room, etc). She also encourages me to get off my butt and get to work (I'm a writer) and generally consults with me about the kids in every way. We are very, very lucky. However, she is only around for another year because she's graduating, taking a year off to work for me, and then going for her masters, at which point I will go into a decline."
"Our house was the place all the nannies/kids came to play -- kind of home base. We viewed this to be a plus, not a minus."
"Our kids are 8 & 11, so many of above ore N/A."
"our nanny could but would never do half these things - will not watch tv, nap, take baby to her home, etc."
"Our nanny doesn't watch tv or do errands or visit friends by her choosing, though she does have local family who come to our home and spend time with her and our kids--more of an extended family model really."
"Our nanny has a daughter in high school near the share house, so her daughter comes over after school and finishes the day with her mom and the babies--an ideal situation for us because the babies are in LOVE with the daughter, and our nanny is really grateful for the time with her daughter (and I'm sure for the extra arms)!"
"Our Nanny has only taken our child shopping or to her house if she ahs asked first, so this is not something she does frequently."
"Our Nanny is allowed to have a guest over if she ok's it with us first. She can use our phone for personal calls while our child is asleep. She can received calls at our house (we don't get cell phone reception, so people need to be able to get in touch with her)."
"our nanny is so responsible, she wouldn't talk on her cell phone extensively, so it's fine if something comes up where she has to. so the rule is not a strict "never", but limited to what is necessary due to timing of making/receiving certain calls. same with personal errands. it's fine when something comes up once a month or so, but it wouldn't be fine for it to happen every day. with all of the listed factors, it's a matter of degree."
"Our nanny only comes in the early mornings while the kids are still asleep. She gets the kids ready for school, feed them breakfast and drops them off."
"Our nanny seems to have a regular "play date" situation with other nannies at the park near the host family's house: the nannies meet at the park same time every day and set up a blanket for the kids to play, crawl, snack. These are personal friends of hers who are nannies; they bring their babies to the park. No one goes to the other person's house."
"Our nanny spend a few hours a day walking around our neighborhood with the baby, running errands, going to the park, etc. She often does light shopping for herself, and for us if we ask. Since the baby's enjoying a walk the whole time and any personal errands are "double-duty," it works out fine."
"Our nanny watches my son in the other family's house, so many of these issues don't come up for us. Also, we have not discussed most of these."
"our previous nanny talked too much on her cell phone, but as long as it doesn't interfere with attention to the child it shouldn't be a problem."
"Our sitter is only with child when she is awake so some of the above do not apply but on rare occasions when she is there and child is sleeping, we like her to take a break (talk on phone, read, watch TV, etc)."
"Personal calls are fine for very short time or when children are sleeping, but in general discouraged."
"Personal errands, taking child to her house or shopping were on a very occasional basis, and she checked in with me first."
"Quick personal calls are fine, especially while the child sleeps but obviously gabbing on the phone for more than a few minutes when she should be interacting with my child is not okay"
"Rarely does our nanny do any of these and she okays it with us first. When shopping, she is doing it for the household."
"She doesn't do any of the above, so we did not institute any policy. Personal calls are ok only as needed--same as any workplace. She does not drive, so none of the above applies."
"she doesn't do most of the things above, but they would be more or less ok with us if she did. we want to keep her happy!"
"She doesn't do most of the things that I write "not OK" to so it has never come up. She also doesn't do most of the things that I checked ok to (personal calls on our phone; taking child to her house; watching TV - we don't have a TV)."
"She doesn't drive, so that can limit a lot of these..."
"She has done several things that are "not OK" and it's been hard to deal with. She tries to sneak those things in."
"She may make occasional personal calls on her cell phone while watching my children. She may meet up with other nannies we know and the children they watch at our house, their house or the park."
"She rarely takes my child on errands and probably never has invited a friend or other nanny into our home. But still, I trust her judgement."
"She rarely to never actually does those things I've checked above, although they'd be fine with me."
"She works from her house, not ours."
"She writes all feeding, naps, etc. in a journal so I can keep track of my baby's care and development."
"She's only part-time, which is why I do all the cooking/etc. for the kids. But she's absolutely wonderful with them."
"Shes doesn't want to do any of the above. She is incredible responsibly and when with our kids, solely focuses on our kids and household (which includes cleaning and chores). All at her descretion - she does it on her own, I don't make her."
"short, within reason, and as needed only, assume not more than once per week or less"
"Since she is not with us full time, we agreed she can manage her errands/schedule while not working. Her hours should be focused on the kids' activities, playdates, etc."
"So long as there is open communication we have done ok with our prior Nanny's. If they want to have friends over or plan playdates with friends who are Nanny's, we just need to meet them and be aware of what the plans are."
"some of the above "allowances" evolved because of our love and trust of our nanny. If she was new, I might be more concerned - but I know her full attention is on my chlidren even if she visits a sister in law, etc."
"Some of these are "not applicable.""
"Taking my child to the park amounts to a playdate with other nannies, and I think that's why she always takes her to the park, but obviously that's fine with me. A lot of the questions above are "ok" within reason. If my nanny has taken care of everything and my child is still asleep, she can watch tv or make calls or take a nap."
"thanks for this list, we've not made these things explicit..."
"The above don't really apply. I work from home in the mornings. Our nanny does not drive and we don't live walking distance to anything. They spend the morning playing and walking around the neighborhood looking at bugs and other wildlife. Also, he doesn't nap. If he did, I would be fine with her taking some time for herself (to talk on the phone, watch TV, etc.) but would also expect her to tidy up."
"The errands are within reason--we live in a very easy, accessible neighborhood with Solano Ave. nearby, and I don't mind if she does a quick errand or two with the baby. It will probably get harder for her to do so as the baby gets older. The personal calls we allow are only back & forth with her kids, who drive her."
"The key is to have focus on the child, regardless of activity."
"The main focus is always the kids, but if she needs to run a quick errand for herself, that is fine"
"The Ok's are fine since our child is an infant. if he were older, it would not be okay."
"The OKs would be in moderation (an occasional call on her cell phone, etc.) She also occasionally watches her 7 yr old grandchild at the same time she watches our son."
"The phone question is odd, as she has a cell phone, so this never comes up."
"There are 2 nannies next door to each other -- families all play together, so those are the visits noted above."
"There are no absolutes. I would approve of any of the above if they were habitual, but if they were occasional it would be okay."
"These activities are "OK" because they are done rarely, in moderation and with good judgment. In other words, my nanny makes short phone calls or very occasionally takes my children to visit family who are kind to them."
"These are all ok on occasion, but would not be ok all the time."
"These questions would be answered more accurately if there was a scale used (e.g., I don't mind if my caregiver talks on her cell phone in LIMITED doses, etc.)."
"They work so many hours an have a life to manage also. Personal activities (calls, errands, shopping, etc.) should be in moderation, and not abused."
"Things like phone calls and TV are what I would call "within reason" and we've never had reason to establish firm rules. If the baby is sleeping, she tends to do all the household chores first and then read a magazine. If I thought she was watching TV all the time, we'd have to talk about it."
"This last question (policy about the following things) has a lot of gray areas for us: - Our nanny's sister is also a nanny and will occasionally come over with the kids she watches. This is fine because we know her and the sisters help each other. This would not be okay with any other nanny. - Napping is not okay, but certainly resting is encouraged! - Extensive chatting on the cell phone is not okay, but personal calls to her childs day care, husband, etc. is fine. - Extensive personal errands/shopping is not okay, but occasionally running to Walgreens for something is fun for the kids."
"Though we are ok with most of the above, our nanny doesn't do most of these things."
"Though we invited our nanny to watch tv or nap while our girls slept, our nanny declined and preferred to sit and read, waiting for the girls."
"Time with the children is her main priority. As long as she can go to them as soon as they wake up, nap time is her time to do what she wants."
"Very few explicit "policies" have been discussed - I think we just trust the nanny to use good judgement, and to answer the phone, etc, if she needs to."
"Visits from specific, discussed family are okay, but the ones that are invited visit three times a week for a couple of hours. It's good socialization."
"we allow her to run personal errands because she does not abuse the privledge. If she abused it, we would limit it. Same for phone calls"
"We allow TV watchign while baby sleeps at night, but not during the day."
"we allowed a lot of latitude with our nanny, but always emphasized that our daughter was her primary focus, and other activities were not to interfere with/disrupt her schedule, i.e.. phone calls ok, but not excessive."
"We are ok with several of the policy items above because our nanny has done them sometimes, but always in moderation."
"We are very flexible with her so she in turn is flexible with us. When we come home an hour early- we pay her full time but let her go home. In turn if we are 20 minutes late here and there she never asks for more pay. If we take a long weekend, or go anywhere on holiday she is always paid in full."
"We do not have a strict contract. I would prefer that the nanny not use his phone while taking care of my child, but realize that sometimes this is necessary and that I do it too. I have tried to be reasonable about my expectations since it is important to me that our nanny enjoy taking care of our son. We pay under the table at the nanny's request, so there is no expectation of benefits, &c."
"We do sharecare for about half the week, sometimes at our house & sometimes at the share-care family's house; that didn't exactly fit in above."
"We don't actually have a home phone or much of a tv, but if we did, it would be fine for our sitter to use them. As for having kids over, I work from home in a pretty small space, so it's not helpful to have other children here..."
"We don't allow her to drive the kids, so any 'shopping' or 'errands' is done while they are out and about in the stroller - minimal."
"We don't have a TV and our nanny doesn't drive, so a lot of these things haven't come up."
"We don't have specific policies on most of these issues. Mostly these in the "not okay" list haven't come up. Some of the "not okay" could be fine depending on the situation."
"We don't have strict policies about many of these things. After about 6 months, we allowed her to take the two children in her car to go to the park."
"We don't really have a policy on any of these things. Above are my thoughts, but we haven't discussed these with the nanny, really."
"We have a unique situation, as our nanny meets me at my holistic healthcare office of where I have a nursery next to my treatment room where she watches our child. She does not drive our child, only walks the neighborhood to the park and library. The occasional errand may be to the post office, copy store or to buy lunch at a cafe nearby."
"We have a VERY casual relationship with our nanny who is really more like a family member at this point, and these questions aren't really applicable to our situation."
"We have had several pregnant nannies whom I have been fine with allowing to sleep while my child sleeps, but, in general, my child sleeps for 3 hours and we cannot afford to pay someone to sleep. So we ask that they use that time to definitely take a long break, but also to do the light, child-related housekeeping/cooking."
"we have no TV while the baby is awake, no computer use while baby is awake rule - she's happy to comply (not a tv or computer person!) :-)"
"We have not "officially" discussed these items, but the ones that I have checked "ok" are ok within limits."
"We have not had to set policy about the items above (things she can and cannot do). If she gets a call on her cell, she keeps it short. If she wanted to watch TV while the kids sleep, she could, but she works on her computer or reads. She takes them to storytime that a friend of her facilitates at the library. If she needed to run an errand it would be ok with me, but she does not do that often. The key is to find someone whose values are similar to your own, so that these things will just fall into proper place."
"We let her use her good judgment about what to do with kids and it's been fine. Our older daughter is 4 years old and tells us what they do each day, so we have a built in reporter. But it's always that they went to park or library or stopped at Safeway or went to gymnastics. I don't mind if she takes kids with her to do errands beacuse it's unusual, maybe 1-2 times per month."
"We pay our nanny to focus on our children and their development. Reading, playing at the park, and encouraging their activity is the prime benefit that comes from the lower ratio of caregiver to child offered by a nanny."
"We respect each other and I am very reasonable and flexible. I think because I respect her and her time, she respoects mine. She also has a 4 year old daughter that she can bring to our house any time she needs to (when there is no school, she is sick, etc.)"
"We said yes to cellphone calls, but asked her to keep them short."
"we take our daughter to the nanny's house every day, since the nanny has a four year old son."
"We trust our nanny to do activities that will be enjoyable and stimulating for the children, if that includes her personal errands that is OK."
"we would be ok with those things, but she would never do them. she won't watch tv or rest while our baby sleeps b/c she likes to keep busy."
"We'd be ok with those things marked above, but our nanny doesn't do any of them except taking my child to the grocery store occaisionally."
"We're extremely flexible with her, and she's never crossed boundaries. While we are fine with her doing all these things, she rarely does them. She's not a TV watcher/phone person."
"We're the add-on family, so policies were set by the main family. My understanding is that she is trusted completely to use her own judgment (which is good)."
"We've never had to set any rules - our Nanny doesn't use the time she's with the kids to do stuff for herself, except the occasional phone call while they're napping."
"When my child sleeps, our nanny usually does some household tasks. After that, I don't really care what she does as long as she can respond if our child needs her. Usually there isn't much time for a nap or anything like that. Sometimes she looks at books to practice her English."
"When my kids were babies and my nanny was pulling 12 hour days, I fully expected her to nap or whatever when they were asleep.(they were exhausting at that age) Now they don't nap so its a non-issue. Nothing is concrete. I wouldn't want her running 3 hours of errands every day with my kids in tow but picking up cleaning or photos while she is out with them is fine."
"While all of the above are allowed, she rarely takes advantage of many of these, which is why it's okay with me."
"While i wouldn't mind if our nanny invited other nannies over, slept during our daughter's nap, or watched TV during her nap--she's never done any of those things to my knowledge."
"within reason, if the nanny thinks it would be okay then I trust her, I trust her with my child, just want her to be honest about what she does"
"Wow--we've never discussed any of these things. I guess because she's here for so few hours. She is so experienced though that she kind of knows not to take personal calls, while working, etc."
"You forgot internet access, which is under "OK" for us. All of the "OK" things tend to be occasional/situational. We trust her judgment. All the "Not OK" are just N/A in our situation- she doesn't have a cell, she only invites people with kids, she is strongly anti-TV, although we'd probably be okay with any of these things."
Access to our computer/internet while my children sleeps Study for her classes while my childen sleeps
All of these are within reason...
All outings are discussed ahead of time.
Children were infant to toddler age.
Clear written expectations are the key
Everything in moderation. A 5 minute call is fine. Being on the phone for 30 minutes with a friend not okay. Depositing a check at the bank is fine. Spending the whole day running errands - not okay.
friends visiting (not a playdate) must be ok'd in advance.
generally should be tending to children but fine if doing an errand en walk to park or on personal call BRIEFLY
Her primary responsibility is always the best care for our children. We are ok with all of the above on an occassional basis. We would not be ok if she did these things all the time.
Homework during naps is fine as well.
I am ok with many of the above policies only because I have nothing but complete trust and respect for our current nanny and know the kids always come first and that she would never take advantage of a situation. I might not feel the same with another nanny.
I assume she keeps her calls brief.
I did not check many of the above because they do not apply to us.
I don't think she does these things--other than taking calls on her cell phone. But I'd be ok with it. I once had a nanny who regularly did socialize for her own benefit as opposed to the kids' and I was NOT okay with it.
I have not set a ton of rules because our nanny has good judgment. I considered a nanny contract but did not end up writing one up.
I would expect limitations on her phone calls while the children are awake.
Inviting friends or other nannies to our house is only allowed if she calls us first.
It's important that personal things be kept short and also that she prioritizes our child at all times.
Many Nannies seem to take advantage of these priviledges - mine never has - she actually tries to avoid situations where she would have to sociallize instead of taking care of my kids - a certain park where other Mien nannies hang out.
most of the above do not apply to us.
Most of these have never come up.
My nanny always asks in advance if it's okay for her to take my child to the pharmacy (for example) to pick up a prescription. She always gets permission.
My nanny doesn't drive so some of these questions don't exactly apply. I answered based on if she did drive as far as what I would and wouldn't think is ok.
My nanny situation always happens at the nanny's house and your questions don't really cover this.
Nannies are generally underpaid and overworked.
nanny could make personal calls on my home phone when she was not on duty. she could invite her family over when i was at home. she was not to have the TV on when on duty unless the baby was asleep. the radio was fine.
Nanny does all the things listed that are Not ok
need prior permission to do all of these except the personal calls & errands
No TV at all when our son is awake. We encourage her to read books to him and draw with him and do creative projects and activities instead of just passing the time.
No TV for my child
Not okay to take my children to any one's house or location we're unfamiliar with. No TV whatsoever.
of course we're talking about limited personal phone calls and errands. My child's need must come first.
OK to meet other Nannies at the park. OK for Nanny to drive kids to park etc OK for Nanny to transport child to Nanny share house
ok to use cell phone on occasion for personal calls
only one of these things have actually come up. Our nanny has excellent judgement.
Our car seat is permanently installed in her car and is not to be removed from the car.
Our nanny does not drive our child so she may occasionally stop for a quick bite to eat with our son in tow.
Our nanny does visit with other nannies when they meet a parks near our house
Our nanny doesn't ask to do any of these things but I think I'd be OK with it if she did
our nanny has some personal phone calls to her children but they are short and not taking away from the care of my kids. i don't think it is a big deal if she occasionally takes them to the drug store/grocery store.
Our nanny is a mature woman with good judgement. We trust her to make good decisions about the issues listed above.
Our nanny is not allowed to drive our son but she's welcome to grab a bite to eat or do a quick errand on foot when he's in tow. I don't think it's happened much if at all.
Our nanny likes to take our baby for walks around the neighborhood. I don't mind if she meets a friend at the park or runs an errand while out for a walk.
Our nanny quit when I asked her to keep her personal calls to a reasonable level while watching my child.
Our nanny typically doesn't do any of the above with the exception of taking our children to her house now and again.
Our nanny/au pair is more like a 3rd child or daughter!
Paid for a CPR class
personal calls and texts are okay when the children sleep.
personal calls are fine in some situations but a constantly ringing cellphone is not. its a hard thing to manage but if its emeregencies on cell or house phone that seems reasonable.
Personal calls are ok as long as they are not extended calls. She has kids and a family that need to be able to be in touch with her.
personal calls from home or cell are okay when child is sleeping. tv is off if child is awake.
phone calls and errand are on a limited basis only
Phone only when children are sleeping
reasonable personal calls only and should not affect child safety or ability to play. personal errands if it is very important and asked and approved. Taking child shopping for our grocery OK. Not her errands.
She also occasionally brings her kids here while she watches our son.
She always asks permission to run an errand during the day or if a trip to her house is needed.
She brings her child to work with her.
She can arrange for people to come over if I am asked in advance. Her daughters are welcome anytime.
she is allowed to set up playdates with other nannies and the children in their care
She understands phone call should be kept to a minimum and she is free todo what she wants while my child is asleep
she weeds my garden and plays with my dogs while the baby sleeps
Some of the above I never thought of before and haven't really articulated a policy about.
Some of the above items would be ok on an exception basis but not on a egular basis.
taking my child to visit friends/other nannies at park/playground is fine.
Talking with other moms or nannies at the park is great! But no prearranged dates with friends.
The peronal calls on the home phone are rare and are only okay when the children are sleeping.
This is an established nanny share that I joined so some of the above questions are not applicable.
This is awkward as she really had good judgment. I don't really disallow anything.
TV is ok if the kids are in beds and there is nothing else that needs to be done in the house (or after a long day and we're out at night) her personal errands can be done if they are EXTREMELY convenient to ours (ie picking up some food for herself at trader joes while she's shopping for us) cell phone calls are OK as long as the conversation are kept short and are NEVER while driving our kids
watching tv while child naaps does not exclude doing some light housework while watching :-)
We can't afford full time nanny care and preschool any longer. The total cost is $3000/month and we are currently enrolling our children in daycare to save $1500/month. We wish we could continue with a nanny but it is too expensive.
We do not allow her to meet up with friends on duty but she often does and lies to us about the circumstances as to how that happened.
We do not allow our nanny to transport our child in a car.
We don't have a TV so the last situation is moot... We trust our nanny to use her judgment in choosing which non-nanny specific activites are appropriate to do while being with our son. She has never made us uncomfortable with her decisions and always asks us in advance.
we don't impose many restrictions on our nanny since she exercizes such good judgement and cares about our children's well-being just as much as we do
we don't own a TV
We don't want her to drive the children anywhere with out our permission.
We don't want the TV on while our child is awake.
We generally respect her and know she has our kids best interest at heart. I think I would prefer no cell phone if I felt she was talking too much or neglecting the kids.
We give her access to a computer for use while children nap.
We have a NO TV FOR KIDS policy
We haven't stipulated anything that isn't okay - she spends all her time with the baby and we haven't had to ask her not to do anything different yet.
We like to treat our au pair like a family member or a big sister to our kids. She is really respectful of the boundaries we have set for our children.
We trust our nanny to use discretion in these matters.
With the checked oks above (personal calls and TV) these are ok in a limited amount. I have never had to state this since my nanny never watches TV and doesn't like to talk on the phone so has few calls but I would feel strongly about these items if I did have to address them.
Comments about Rates & Hours
(see Nanny Survey 2008 for responses)
8. Do you pay a weekly salary or by the hour?
9. If you pay by the week, what is your nanny's weekly salary?
10. If you pay by the hour, what is the TOTAL hourly rate your nanny is paid?
11. How many hours does she typically work for your family per week?
12. Do you pay overtime (more than 40 hours / week)?
13. If she works for other families, how many TOTAL hours a week does she work?
14. Any comments / input on the questions above? (monthly & hourly rates, hours worked, etc.)
"We have two kids, but her primary role is with our younger child. In order to keep things uncomplicated, we negotiated one pay rate with her ($16/hr) whether she is watching one or two of our kids. The rate is higher than she would have received by just watching one of our kids, and since she is only watching one of them most of the time, she is actually making more than she would have."
we do a nanny share where our nanny watches two children all week. She works 45 hours per week but I only use her for 33 of those.
Our share situation has her caring for 2 kids for 20 hours per week and for 1 child for 20 hours per week.
"We pay based on an hourly rate ($10/child, 2 children), but in practice we don't count hours, we pay $465/week and the other family pays $400. We pay $15/hour for extra care in evenings or on weekends (usually 1 child)"
"She also gets a paid hour lunch, included in the 37 hours above"
"have never had to pay overtime, but we would if she worked over 40 hours per week"
"we pay a different rate after 6pm, usually 14.50/hr for evening care"
i don't know how many hours she works for other families.
the above rate includes state and federal taxes
"We do not need overtime,. otherwise we would of course pay for it"
"nanny share with one other family. we use her all week, 9 h/day, other family 3 days/week 9 h/day"
Our nanny is also a full-time grad school and is only available part-time
"This is a nanny share and care takes place at the home of the nanny. there are 3 families, total of 3 part time children, most days only 2 children, some days 3 and some days only 1."
"i recommend being VERY specific with what your needs are up front (i.e. cleaning up after the children, bathing them every day...)"
"I'm not sure of you count hours per child or not, since there are 3 families in my share."
We are doing a share with another family (2 babies total)
We pay less per hour ($15) for two children on those occasions that she cares for our older child as well than a two-family share rate which is easier to handle when it's divided between two families.
"A real life saver, I have a web cam however, and check in frequently throughout the day."
we pay under the table
you get what you pay for
"she's an energizer bunny - even though she works a full schedule with us, she still squeezes in a few hours a week with 2 other families! but she is great about always giving us priority if we need extra hours"
our nanny's schedule changes depending on how much my pilot husband is gone. so it could be as high as 20 hours or as low as 9.
"Not clear how nanny-share families with more than 2 families should answer, hope the answers make sense (we have 3 families with 50%, 30% and 20% respectively)"
we negotiated a monthly salary and pay our nanny $11 extra on Mondays as she works an extra hour; not sure how many people have a monthly arrangement (versus weekly or hourly)
we pay her extra for evening or weekend work
My nanny watches my daughter 3 days a week and my son and daughter together one day a week. The other days my son is in preschool.
we share with another family who uses her part time
rates for multiple children vary by same family vs. different family. #hours/week varies slightly over the month. Didn't do as much of a reference/background check on our nanny because our close friends we were sharing with (one of whom is a pediatrician) had been using her for a year and had already done this "This was a nanny-share, with one other family for about 2 years. Our children were infants to over 2years old, we recently enrolled our child in a Montessori school, as did the other family. Nanny was full-time for both families. She has a valid drivers license and is a legal citizen."
"We also pay a monthly toll fee of 25.00 a month per family & monthly gas mileage @ .40 cents a mile. (zoo, park, habitot)"
it is a nanny share arrangement
"#7 is confusing. 40 of our 50 hours are shared, 10 are our kid with her by himself. so should my answer to #7 be 90 or 50?"
"she started as a live in. She also does a decent amount of housekeeping, errands and cooking."
"WE pay taxes, too."
We got really lucky with our caregiver :)
"I would say happy -- not somewhat happy, and that yes, not everything is perfect. We couldn't find anyone for the days/hours we needed, so we settled. Also, we would pay overtime, but it has never come to that many hours."
The Nanny Network did the backgound check for us
She also does cleaning work. Most of the time she's at home my son's sleeping. We have a nanny share and our nanny's weekly salary is for two children.
"Nanny takes care of her own kids at the same time: a 4 month old, a 2 year old and sometimes her 4 year old. Sometimes she also takes care of other kids, but not at all full time."
I share with another family one day a week and they have the nanny on the other two. Occasionally we share another morning.
"We pay $14/hour for the first 8 hours of any day, plus $15 for any time over 8 hours. We offer four days paid sick leave and undetermined vacation time."
"Sometimes we hae done overtime i she's had a full week, or a very long day. WE usually pay time and a half."
"Altough we pay her an hourly rate; she gets the same amount weekly whether we are on vacation, or she is sick or needs a day off. We have guaranteed set # of hours a week."
our background check only includes the $25 Livescan thru the department of justice. We would never pull up her credit history for example
We also have a nanny share where she watches our child and another families' child. We each pay $9/hour. She receives $18/hour.
"This ranges a lot, as she picks up additional night time sitting jobs from families with whom she has previously worked. They are not regularly scheduled."
"I pay her $16 an hour, but also a fixed travel for every day of $10. If she does evening babysitting, I pay this also. So it really increases the rate per hour that I pay."
"we pay $16 per hour, and payment is made weekly by check. my wife and I interviewed other nannies who wanted to be paid in cash, which was an inconvenience for us. prior to our current nanny, we had another nanny for two weeks, which didn't work out."
She is also a p/t dental assistant
"Since we have an au pair hired through an agency, and since au pairs are technically here on cultural exchange programs, they earn minimum wage, by law, minus the estimated value the family provides in room and board. So it's hard to compare exactly to a local nanny who one would hire by the hour."
Our nanny watches the kids in her own home; one of the kids is her own daughter.
"She primarily takes care of 1 child but sometimes cares for both of our kids when my older child gets home from school before I get home. The pay rate is the same though as it's not very much time that she has 2 kids. But this pay rate is to account for her caring for 2 kids for a short period each week. Also, we've given her a raise each year."
Number six should be 16.50 - 11.00 times 1.5
"Our nanny started at $14 and hour, then we went up to $15 an hour (trial period of one month); then gradually increased her hourly rate by one dollar, so now she makes $17/hour and is worth every penny."
"We also pay taxes and medical (Kaiser), since she has been with us for so long (6 + years)"
no
"We pay taxes in addition to hourly rate. She has guaranteed 40 hours/week regardless of what hours we use. If we go on vac or have a sick child, she gets paid 8 hours that day."
"The nanny takes care of both of our children 3 days/wk, the other family uses her for a fourth day."
"In response to question 4, we did nothing to hire her because our first nanny left so suddenly and we need an immediate replacement. To our benefit, she is amazing and no references, etc were needed."
We actually pay a daily rate of $100 based on a 9-10 hour day.
The two children our nanny cares for are twins.
"w/re to #7, I don't know, but I do know that she adds hours with others... so maybe 50?"
"might be interesting to track number of folks who pay over the table, under the table or some combination."
"We pay $130 per month for our nanny""s health insurance as well as 2 weeks of vacation and 2 weeks sick time"
"I let a couple friends ""piggie back"" on my time and pay my nanny additional $. I don't currently have a formal nanny share but my son likes the company and my nanny likes the extra money so it works out fine."
"We pay the same every week, but this amount is calculated by the 17.5 hours she works times $19. If she works extra hours, such as weekend evenings (usually 2 per month), we pay $19 per hour. She sometimes has one of our kids, sometimes 2, but we keep the $19 rate regardless."
"#7 - she works for a chain store nights and weekends, not another family."
We pay her pretty generously because we know she is more than a nanny -- she's a great influence on our son and exposes him to many wonderful things.
We pay her $10/hour plus we pay Fed and State income tax and issue her a W-2.
"Just ""Thank god for BPN!!!"" We love this gal, and wouldn't have found her without you."
"She charges $18.00 for two kids in same family and $20.00 for two kids from different families so the rate varies depending on our share arrangement. So to answer #4 above, I averaged."
"Very difficult to find a part time nanny for our twins. We looked at shares, but they did not benefit us because (1) most were not open to shares for three children and (2) we ended up paying essentially the same rate as for dedicated in home b/c of the increase in the nanny's rate for multiple children."
I think she also does some weekend house cleaning . . .
"Our nanny uses her own car to transport our two younger children (e.g., from school), run errands, do grocery shopping. I think this is a big factor in deciding how much to pay for services."
our nanny is overpaid ($4500 a month plus free separate guest cottage and free utilities (except phone) she gets 2 weeks paid vacation. BUT she has different hours every day depending on our needs (although always only 45 hrs a week) and she cares for 3 children and does the bulk of the driving as well as the cooking. She does not get healthcare or other benefits but her employment is all above board in terms of taxes. We paid taxes and SS on her wages.
"Our pay rates ($15/$20) are based on an assumption of a 45-hour week so it's calculated to include OT. Her actual base rate is therefore a little lower. For ease of communcation, we just say $20/hour (or $15 for one)"
we know that our 2 day a week nanny does other work when she's not with us but we're not totally clear on what that is beyond some house cleaning.
"Re #4 above: Our nanny brings her daughter with her to care for our child. We pay her $9 an hour, with the idea being that if she was taking care of two kids it would be $18 an hour, but the other kid is hers, so she really only gets paid $9 an hour."
"Our nanny also did a myriad of other things such as cook dinner, clean, do laundry - she was amazing and always willing to go above and beyond - hence the higher rate. We actually offered to pay more to keep her."
"In addition to her weekly salary I add $20 - $40 in ""Expense money"" -gas, etc." She also does cleaning jobs on the side
"over-time is paid normal rates, 13 for 1 and 18.00 an hour for two children" "We have a nanny share with three children. While we pay by the hour, we commit to the number of hours per week, so even when on vacation, we pay her, on holidays, and she gets 7 paid days off per year."
Nanny does not drive nor speak English.
she also has daytime use of our car for her personal errands while my kids are in school
"in addition to weekly salary, we provide 10 days of paid vacation (on an annualized basis) and ask that 5 of those days be coordinated with our own family's vacation" "salary doesn't include add'l payments - gas allowance, meals, admissions to events, and other bonuses or perks as appropriate."
"I do pay overtime if I go over the 50 hr/week mark -- usually time and a half. But our ""base"" is 50 hrs/week because of my commute time to/from work. Also, I'm going to give her a $1/hr raise in July, her 2-year anniversary with my son."
My nanny works on the babys schedule so she works when the baby is awake.
"We do share her with family and a few friends on an as-needed basis, at which times she makes $12/hour per family"
Your questions don't seem to accomodate for multiple kids in care. Our share care involves 2 families and 3 kids. Our payment arrangement is not quite as basic as questions above.
"for question 4, i answered for parts a, b, and c, because there are times where she watched different number of kids"
"I'll note that I hired my babysitter at $15 an hour originally and gave her a raise to $16 when she asked, after 1 year."
"Add a field for nanny shares! We joined an existing nanny share, so we did not do the background check, references, etc., as the other family had already done it."
"The nanny also cleans houses 2x per month (not ours), and babysits for another family (not part of her regular hours with us and the family we share with) a few times per month."
"We have two kids, one is in school full-time three days/week, so we pay her 22.00/hour when she takes care both of them."
after 6 pm is considering babysitting and paid in cash
We share with another family for 12 of our hours per week. Originally we shared with another family the whole time--but they dropped out and we couldn't find a full time replacement.
one child
"we pay her by the hour, but with a minimum of hours agreed at the beginning : 35 hours for me and 40 for the other family"
we also pay bridge tolls
We also pay fuel $20 per week
The above number 20 hours for the other share family are hours worked during our 35 hours. The nanny works for both families not more than 35 hours per week total.
"Not sure that Q. 5,6,7 accurately portray our situation - our nanny is live in and works 50 hours but is paid weekly salary, that's why there's no ""overtime"". Then in addition, we have a nannyshare, and she watches another family's child alongside ours for 35 hours a week. So she works 50 hours total but for 35 it's jointly with another family and for 15 it's just our family. The other family pays her $10/hour for the shared time for 1 child and $13/hour for 2nd child if part of share. If it's not shared they pay $15/hour for 1 child, $18/hour for 2."
"Although we pay for care for 2 children, 90% of the hours are spent with only one child as the older one is in school."
As a part of the au pair contract our au pair can work up to 10 hours a day or 45 hours a week. Our au pair basically works during our business hours (8-5).
"we pay our nanny a lower rate, as this is her first nanny job."
Our main nanny works 4 9 hour days a week. We have another nanny for Fridays. We pay the second nanny $15 an hour for about 8 hours on Friday.
"We pay our nanny monthly salary of $1,500.00"
"we share our nanny w/another family: our nanny takes their son to montessori and watches him and their baby one hour in the morning, then has my infant son and their infant daughter 8 hours, then picks the older son from montessori, and watches their two children an additional hour. We pay for 40 hours, they pay for 50 hours, and if there's ever a day when she has all 3 kids, the rate is $25/an hour (we pay a little less)."
"Hourly rate includes us paying her taxes -- i.e., $12.50 + taxes."
"At times, she has worked up to 50 hours a week for us. Just not right now."
"We're in a ""share"" situation: the nanny takes care of our baby and the host family's baby (they are 4 months apart in age). We are using the nanny 4 days/week; the host family does 5 days/week. Recently -- one month ago -- the host family adopted a new baby (it was unexpected by them; they weren't looking for another child) So now we have the nanny caring for a newborn along with the 2 1-year olds. We still pay the same rate we always have (10/hour); however, we feel we may need to pay about 1 dollar less as the new baby gets older & uts more demands on the nanny (and thus our child gets less attention). But for right now, we are so happy with the nanny that we are continuing to pay the same fee we did when she only cared for 2 kids."
Our nanny is male.
"We started out paying our nanny $13/hour. After 1 year, we gave her a raise to $14/hour."
"You might ask which days of the week the nanny works, as ours is off on Mondays"
11.50/hour is inclusive of taxes
"Not sure exactly how many hours she works for other folks too, so 45 is a guess. I think it varies per week b/c sometimes she babysits at night and sometimes she doesn't."
"My nanny holds another job as a caregiver. she works there 3 days, I don't know exactly how many hours."
"She has never worked more than 40 hours in a week. If she did, I would determine the proper overtime pay."
"we are in a sharecare situation. our nanny cares for our baby for 28 sharecare hours and in addition to that she cares for the other baby for the remaining hours to add up to 42.5 hours. though she does not earn overtime, she is paid for 45 hours per week by the other family/28 hours per week by us on salary. she typically has 1-2 days off per month that are paid because of our families travel schedule. we feel this is quite fair. and we feel that paying her $22.00 an hour for 2 children is above the usual rates. but this is what our nanny asked to be paid."
The overtime question is unclear. I don't pay overtime because our nanny has never worked it. But I would if she were ever to work more than 40 hours per week.
We pay 38% by check plus State and Federal taxes then she gets 62% under the table.
"We have agreed on an hourly rate of $14 for 40 hours a week, but if she works less than 40 hours, she still gets her regular, full salary."
Our nanny gets a monthly stipend plus free room and board in a seperate cottage apartment- I added the stipend plus rent rate to assess total wages...
We were part of a nanny share. Our family needed fewer hours than the other family.
We have twins. We also get one free night of babysitting for the weekly rate. she also does some other small part time jobs not related to child care but limited hours (5hr/week)
salary basis...if we do not need her (ie we're on vacation/out of town) she is paid the full amount. she gets paid sick time (same as SF new law) and paid holidays. she can request non-paid vacation.
I pay a weekly salary of $600 regardless of how many hours/days she worked UNLESS she worked more than 40 hours at which time I pay her hourly. The pay rate does not change.
We have had our nanny 5 days a week (50 hours) and on 4 days (40 hours) and are down to 3 days (30 hours) as we transition our son to daycare. Also hourly rate may be influenced by whether the nanny is documented or undocumented. Ours is undocumented.
"Mine does laundry for the whole family and leaves the house spotless (sweeps, does dishes), which is what put her above anyone else we've ever had."
"it is a nanny share situation, we pay 10$/h each familly and overtime with only one kid is 17$/h"
it's a give and take situation.
"the rate of 16/hr was for my kid, another family's kid, and the nanny's own kid. she took care of the 3 of them at our house 4 days/week. this did not include splitting the bill 2-ways for lunches and snacks she made for the kids and herself."
"she also helps my kids, 9 and 12 with school and runs a writing workshop and book club with other kids at my house."
"dont know re other fams - she has them for sure. She is our ""morning manager"". 2 hrs x 3 days = 6 hrs/week"
some of the hours she works for us are shared. she'd also like to find more hours for a total of about 50.
"We also share our nanny with one other family full time and then an additional family for two other half days. Not sure if you want this info, but thought I'd add it." She is paid hourly but unless we go significantly over (e.g. ask her to come early / stay late) we pay a flat rate.
"Additional benefits: 2 weeks paid vacation, gas reimbursement of $40/week. No paid sick days. I pay her the same amount, regardless if she has one or two children. Easier math."
"We pay her taxes as well, so the rates in #4 are gross, not net. (Her take home pay after taxes is slightly less; our expenses are slightly more.)"
We pay the same hourly rate even if she works more than 40 hours. We guarantee 40 hours of pay even if we are on vacation.
"It was a nightmare....used my car, wrecked it...there should be some form of licensing and liability insurance for nannies"
Nanny also works at a preschool
For Nanny Share (which we do occassionally with this nanny) - she charges $17 for each child. $8.50 each per hour
"She will shortly be leaving us, to be able to work M-F, only. She works one weekday morning plus Sunday."
Thanks for doing this! I look forward to seeing the results.
She works 40 hour week--sometimes less
"while our nanny is hourly, she's guaranteed and paid for 45 hours a week whether she works or not"
Our nanny works only for our family (one child) and she brings her small son to work with her as well. This helps her with her childcare expenses as well.
"My son started ""preschool"" two mornings a week, and I had to still pay my nanny for 40 hours to keep her even though she does not work 40 hours now."
Some families in our nanny share pay different rates as we have all given her small raises over time at our discression.
I have no idea if I'm paying her the right amount and would like feedback from other families on what they pay! thanks!
"Au Pairs are required to work ""up to"" 45 hours per week for their basic stipend of $170 PLUS room, board, use of cars, two weeks paid vacation. ""Overtime"" would only kick in after 45 hours."
"We've never needed her more than 40 hours a week, so we've never paid overtime. If we did use her that much, we would."
"I found this nanny because a friend had already employed her and asked us to share. Initially, I didn't realize the ""share"" family was as flexible as they were, but we configured a great situation with times that reflected our different work schedules and with kids alternating houses, as well as time shared and time alone with nanny."
"we were fortunate to find a wonderful person to charge so little. she was paid ""under the table"" so we couldn't claim the expense on taxes, but our daughter loved her and her daughter. (she just moved away and now we use a daycare)"
"We actually pay our nanny by the day. ($75 for an 8-9 hr day) Thought the hourly rate is relatively low, we guarantee her at least $225 per week even if we are travelling and she doesn't work."
"We provide paid vacation and holidays. We provide 100% paid for health insurance, vision and dental. We provide her with a W2 at the end of the year. This has helped her obtain a green card and ultimately her citizenship next year."
"we calculate so that she receives the $14/hour after taxes, but we always talk about that she gets $14/hour - I don't know if that changes my response to question 4 or not"
"Our child care provider works for at least one other family one full day per week, and she also babysits her neice for free."
"This nanny provided a copy of her fingerprinting paperwork, license, updated her CPR Infant/Adult Certification at our cost. We had spoken for a month prior off and on until she decided she would accept our hours - not more a full-time position. She does teach childrens classes on her off days of the week as well."
We pay by the hour rather then flat rate for overtime
nannyshare with 2 other families
"This is our third Nanny and they all get lazy after a while. They are all young and do not view this as a career, thus they are rather unprofessional from time to time."
We have flexible hours (start and end time) but guarentee 40hrs/week
"I haven't ever done 40 or more hours, just guessing on the overtime."
"We pay $350 per week and the other child from our nanny-share pays $350 per week. We will be adding another child soon, and the nanny will earn $900 per week total at that point."
I have a son in preschool in the morning. She takes care of the baby from 9-4 and then she also takes care of my son from 2-4 p.m.
"She is typically watching my child and one other, thus making $20 an hour."
"in question 6, it's $20 for two kids OT and $12 for one kid OT ."
"Although we pay hourly, we have committed to paying for 20 hours even if we use fewer than 20 hour or if we go on vacation."
"Nanny share, two kids total."
she works in the evenings as a sitter for another family (she used to be their nanny) for 4-8 hours a week. when she sits for our three in the evening we pay her $20 instead of $18.
We are in a nanny share.
"so far, you haven't asked about paid vacation or other benefits she receives."
"We have a set 9 hours that she works 4 days/week for us. If she works more hours, we pay accordingly at the end of the week."
the nanny never works overtime so we don't pay overtime
she works set hours with the condition of working longer or outside of scheduled hours when needed.
"Our nanny mostly looks after our 9 month old, as our two older kids (4 and 6) are in school. However, one day a week she stays all afternoon and plays with the older ones, and on school closed days she has all three. She only occasionally has all 3 on her own, because I work from home and am usually around, or will take one of the older ones with me on errands etc."
We paid her the same rate whether I needed her for 3 days or 5 days per week (when I first came back from maternity leave I only worked part-time for about a month). She never works more than 40 hours so we don't really have an overtime issue...
we're part of a nanny-share and it's great.
I pay $10 an hour and the other family pays $10 a day So 2 kids $20
No
"She began working 21 hrs per week then 28 hrs for a year and now she works one day a week. She began at $13. We did not give paid vacation, but we paid her whether or not we were in town."
"We give our nanny expense reimbursement $20/wk (or more if necess), and pay OT after 47 hours (i.e. if we are late getting home) of $20/hr"
For #4b - $17 for 2 kids from the same family but $20 for different families We have just given her a 5% raise after 1 year's service; new rate will be $15.75/hour for one child and $21.00 for 2. We pay employment and social security taxes on top of that.
Occasionally she'll do extra evening babysitting
Question 7 -- She works 35 hours a week for us. Is this what you're asking? Unclear. "She brings her own child, so this is a ""nanny share"" in which she only gets paid for watching one of the two children."
She often works more hours during our busy seasons. We pay extra when she picks up kids from school in her car.
We tip her on top of her hourly fee.
"there are shes and hes amongst nannys, but not reflacted in the questions... otherwise, good survey"
She works Mon./Tues for another family and Wed-Fri for us
"All of the $$ amounts are not gross, but net pay. We give her casual gifts here and there when we can. We went by our general good feel and intuition in hiring her, along with her great reputation in the community. We didn't use any of those linear/uptight background checking things, and are very comfortable with our decision-making process. She's the best and we (and our child) are incredibly lucky that she works for us."
We share with another family
"We share a nanny with another family. We have one child and they now have 2. For the first two years (with only two kids in the share, we negotiated 8-4:30 M-F for our hours, but if we go over, we just pay the same hourly rate. The other family negotiated 8-5:30 as their hours, which means for the extra hour (from 4:30-5:30, they pay the one child rate unless we still have our child there)."
"Our starting wage was $12/hour during the ""trial"" period of 3 months. After that, it's gone up steadily once per year, to the current rate of $14.50/year."
"We guarantee a base weekly salary and pay that amount regardless of actual use (ie if we use less time). If we use more than our agreed upon amount, we pay hourly for time above the weekly salary."
We do a share - she works for both families at least 18 hours per week with 2 kids and another 9 hours with 3 kids
"She also gets room and board. She works long days, 3 1/2 days per week, two days with two kids and 1 1/2 days with one kid"
We were in a Nanny Share. I calculated the total weekly pay as $1950 for both families. nanny cares for both children full time together
"Her rates vary by number of children: $10 for each child with 2 kids, $9.50/hr for 3 kids."
Of the two children she minds (both mine) one is in school from 8:30-3:00 each day.
We pay a guaranteed weekly amount based on 50/hrs a week. Additional hours are billed as above.
"We pay our nanny an hourly rate, however, she is guaranteed 50 hours per week, so she earns the same amount every week. So I am not clear if that is a hourly or weekly salary, according to your questions above."
"she brings her son so the rate we pay is a share rate, but she doesn't get more than we pay her since it's her own son"
"We do a nanny share with our nanny AND her child, so the $10 rate is a share rate."
"We pay her the same amount each week regardless of our or her time off, but more if we use extra hours (at the same hourly rate)."
We are in a nannyshare where we pay $9 and the other family pays $9. Her one child rate is $13/hr but we have not used her on her own. We share her for 20-25 hrs a week and currently she does not have any other families so she works a max of 25hrs/wk for 18$/hr in the nannyshare.
Nanny works part time (mornings) at a preschool
"we share about 4 hrs a week and don't pay less money during this time and the other family also pays her 13$ with or w/out the share. she doesn't discount for them for sharing b/c they provide her with few and scattered hours. we also didn't insist on a discount for the shared hours since we are getting a good rate for 2 kids already, it benefits our older child to have another toddler playmate a few houra a week. in the past in the share we paid a discounted rate but it was too comlicated b/c the hours were not consistant"
"Our nanny sometimes babysits for her former families, but it is irregular."
"We paid a weekly salary that was based on an hourly salary, but guaranteed a certain number of hours."
"share situation - we use 30 hours for our daughter, the other family has her full time for their son...i'm not sure how many hours exactly they use"
We started the nanny a little low at $13/hr with the guarantee of giving her $1 more at the end of the year. We have given her $1/hr raise each year.
She also babysits in addition to the above hours so I don't think it is uncommon for her to work 60 hours per week
"We give 2 weeks paid vacation (separate from our vacations though we try to coordinate), pay her for days we don't use her (when we're on vacation, for example), & give her a 2 week pay end of year bonus"
"The weekly amount is for two children in the same family. We share the nanny with another family (one child) who pay her an additional $500 a week. OT is not paid since we never require it, but would be paid at an hourly rate of $15 per hour for our two children."
"We share a great nanny part-time with another family. When we hired the nanny, we observed her with the other child and spoke to the original hiring mother."
"$18/hour is pre-tax. If we declare taxes, she charges $20/hour."
"We also pay three weeks paid vacation, seven holidays and 5 sick days. We also pay for her phone and taxes."
it's a nannyshare just to be clear so 2 kids full time
Her work with us was in addition to her regular job
wording of 4 is confusing. or maybe it's the way the form fields are laid out.
"We don't pay formal (defined) overtime, but we pay her much more than her hourly rate when she babysits for us."
Comments about the Survey
"Thanks for doing this! It's perfect timing as we are curious to know whether we are paying our nanny fairly. With a new baby on the way, we are also curious to know how much we should be paying for 2 children. Thank you!!"
OK - not nanny related. But the vast amount of valuable info generated on BPN is in your newsletters - but so little makes it into your archive - If i lose one email i miss so much! i hope more content will get archived! :-)
Thank you for doing this survey and for all of the work you do.
so glad you're doing this... cant wait to see the results even though my nanny days are quickly drawing to a close.
"The response choices in the previous q, about my age, have errors. I am 35 but it's unclear if I should choose 30-35 or 35-40."
- [BPN] Yes, we had overlapping responses like that on several questions. Oops. Next time ...
"This is a great survey, thank you!"
Great survey. I will be interested in the results.
Great survey. I wish I knew the results of this 6 years ago!
- [BPN] Hey! we also did nanny surveys in 2002 and 2003!
We have two part time nannies. I've answered the survey twice - once about each. I put a similar note at the end of my last survey in case you want to combine any data. (We don't want to skew those 41-45 year old moms with one one year old . . . ) Thanks!
I am so thankful for the BPN and am an active member of the community. I was SO sad to realize this summer that BPN was off for 6 weeks (if I remember correctly) in the middle of the summer when I was trying to find a nanny. It was stressful not to have this community available for such a long period of time when we were trying to figure out that situation. I hope there is a way to help families in that situation in the future - perhaps having a newsletter every other week during that period or something? Just wanted to put that out there - I heard it from a number of other moms as well. I'll be really curious to see these results! I'm particularly interested in when people tend to transition from nannies to other childcare situations and how they juggle two kids and childcare. Thank you!!
It took WAY longer than you said it would!
nice survey but LOOONNNGGG. suggest shortening to get better completion rate.
- [BPN] Agreed. The next one will be shorter!
Thanks for doing this survey! The only comment I would have is one listing the rate per hour is to ask people to break this up to inclusive or exclusive of taxes.
Thanks for doing this!2 thanks for putting this together
thanks for putting this together. consider offering some of your questions as a template for hiring a nanny.
The last survey BPN published was invaluable to me when I was first looking for a nanny and whenever issues would arise during the early part of that relationship. I totally appreciate this effort.
"These questions are somewhat offensive - very poorly designed survey - let me help you next time. The survey assumes people are not treating their 'nanny' well and that they are not sharing the 'nanny' with another family (not all the questions). Also, consider using the word caregiver instead of nanny. Still - thanks for the attempt at doing this"
- [BPN] Thanks! we accept your anonymous offer to do the survey next time!
We recently changed from a beloved nanny. Answers may have been slightly different 6 weeks ago.
Thank you for doing this!
well done. Looking forward to seeing the results.
You covered it all. Thank you for doing this helpful survey. One constructive criticism: your questions assume that all nannies are women.
- [BPN] Yes, as we noted on Page 1 of the survey: "For convenience, we have assumed a female nanny, but we acknowledge there are male nannys too!" (In fact, 12 of the 880 respondents reported having a male nanny.)
I am a single mom.
Thank you. This will be very useful.
What is the purpose of this survey?
- [BPN] The purpose of the survey is to gather information about how much people in the Bay Area pay their nannies and what their practices and policies are. This kind of information is not readily available anywhere else, and it is one of the most commonly-asked question on the BPN. Most people who hire a nanny do not use an agency - 97% of respondents didn't - so it is not easy to get this information any other way.
"it was great to fill this survey in order to think about my relation ship with my nanny, the fields I should improve in."
"Are you planning to survey nannies, too?"
- [BPN] This would be an interesting survey, and we do have nannies on the list, some of whom actively participate in BPN discussions. However, a survey of nannies is beyond the scope of BPN's goal of helping local parents network with each other, just as a survey of teachers or pediatricians would be.
"I hope an au pair is considered a nanny for this survey. otherwise, you should exclude my answers. A lot of the rules and things are set by the au pair agency."
- [BPN] Page 1 of the survey had a note that for the purpose of this survey, we don't consider an au pair to be a "nanny". It looks like a lot of people overlooked that.
"I think many many people use very part time nannies -- ie, two, three four days or part days a week. I think in these situations its harder to determine appropirate benefits - sick days/vacation days -- or do people just do that on the basis of their usual hours? I think the questions are going to be answered very differently if you are on your first nanny & all is going well, then if you have had a nanny (in our case) for about 2 years, fired that person, and then found a new person for a new role (baby). I am much more gun shy this time around - previous nanny I lent money to, bought plane tickets for, paid sick leave, vacation leave, bonus, gave a cell phone -- went to b-day parties for her kids, etc etc -- this time I am more cautious about the relationship, and we are moving slower on any other benefits. I am not sure how you get at that in a survey like this but its something to consider in your responses."
"Just wanted to say "thank you" for the BPN Childcare Digest: we never could have found our great nanny without it. We really appreciate the work you all do at BPN."
Comments about Having a Nanny
- This is our first child and first nanny. They have both set the bar high. Hopefully there will never be a need to find another.
We are making up the rules as we go. She was recently sick for a week and we paid her because we did not want her to work when she is sick.
We co-signed our nanny's college loan
Childcare is very difficult for us and I feel there is not adequate support for working parents. I am looking for an ideal situation where the kids are nutured and taught independence in a natural setting with plenty of access to the outdoors that doesn't cost my ENTIRE salary!!! It just doesn't seem to exist. Frustrated Mom
I feel that the entire nanny process is extremely inefficient and I can't believe that people have to go through what they do in order to find a good nanny. Whoever comes up with a way to formalize the process will be a life-saver for thousands of people who have to go through this.
I love our Nanny and think that respecting her knowledge and cultural differences are going to enrich all of our lives. I get so annoyed by supposedly liberal people who want to tell the nanny exactly how to do her job.
I wish there was a better way to describe the different stages of nanny one needs. There is someone who is willing and knows to care for infants. Then people who do well with toddlers and discipline. then people who can do the after school help and household help. It is hard to know what to ask for and what is reasonable. And when doing all this to know what you need before you ask. Now I know what would have worked better - but it is too late.
I work from home and our nanny and child are often here though they go out daily for activities. We get along very well which is a requirement since we are with eachother nearly all day long.
"To a great degree, our nanny told us her preferred terms for working hours, vacation and sick time. For example, she has not taken a single sick day, and prefers instead to get a guaranteed number of hours instead of pre-arranged sick and vacation time. This seems to work for her, though I would like for us to provide more in the way of benefits for her."
"We feel really lucky and happy. When I read the BPN ads of people looking for nannies,I sometimes wonder if people have outsized expectations (nanny must drive, have cpr, etc.) that will cause them to miss out on a great opportunity like ours. One complaint I have is that our nanny doesn't have a good way to find new work for herself when she wants more work - except to rely on parents to find prospective parents for her. She doesn't use Bananas for whatever reason but relies on us to vet families and expectations ahead of time. It's a huge amount of work - and can go on for months. I don't have a solution but it seems a downside of the way our set up works."
"We have been truly blessed to have our nanny in our lives. Our children have benefited enormously from this love and care. We have sacrificed a lot financially, and chose less expensive preschools and public schools, but we have always been glad we spent money on the nanny. This relationship has been wonderful for the kids."
"We have worked with nannies good and bad. The best thing is to find someone you really trust. Don't worry if your child sometimes seems to prefer them to you - that's the sign of a good nanny situation. The worst thing is to wonder if your kid is okay, or to have them cry every day when you leave. Treat your nanny as a professional, be fair and honest - it is their livelihood and they are taking care of your children, so you should treat them professionally and with the kindness and respect you expect them to show yourself and your kids. If you're not happy with the situation and it can't be corrected, fire them directly - don't just tell them you're going out of town and never call them again, as I know some people do. That's very unfair and unprofessional. It's hard to fire someone directly, but it's better for them and for you to just do it upfront. When you find a good nanny, give her regular raises and be fair - remember how hard it is to replace someone you really trust!"
"We hired a white American college educated nanny -- and paid a premium for her. She'd been a nanny to toddlers and pre-schoolers before, but had never been in a share with 2 infants. So it was a trade off -- not a bunch of experience with babies and no formal childhood development training in exchange for a legal resident with good education and native English speaking. I think the trade off worked for us because our son was a baby. Our nanny is leaving this summer to start law school, which is probably a good breaking point. Our son is starting to benefit from more development encouragement -- which I'm not sure she'd provide all that well. We're starting a day care program this fall with trained professionals who will know how to encourage our son's growth. Our nanny share has been great for our son's first year, and I'm glad we're ending it on a good note. If we have another baby, I'll absolutely do another nanny share, hopefully with another nanny who has loved our son like his nanny has."
"We only have one income, so we could only afford $12/hr for two kids. Our nanny is only 19 years old, so we'd be paying more if she had more experience."
"I am from the East Coast and it seems that it is MUCH harder to find a nanny here that is both fluent in English (not everyone wants to teach their newborn a 2nd language!) and seems well qualified to be a nanny (as opposed to a babysitter/caretaker). It is also considerably more expensive here, with most not qualified, non-English speakers asking for $15/hr as opposed to about $500-$550 per week in NYC for approximately 50 hours/week. Am I missing something??"
- [BPN] $500-$550 for 50 hours a week is only $10-$11/hour. Hard to pay rent in the Bay Area on that! (Is it cheaper on the East Coast?)
"We adopted our daughter from Guatemala, and set out to hire a Latina nanny so our daughter would be bilingual; meanwhile I'm studying Spanish which I speak with our daughter. Our nanny understands also that part of her job is to correct my Spanish, and she and I talk a lot, which of course helps me progress. I guess we're close friends, though so long as she's my employee I won't really know (I've watched bosses mistake their relationship with employees as friendship -- friendly isn't quite the same as friendship). We really lucked out with our nanny. Se sees her role also as aculturating our daughter, who is now involved in various Latino cultural activities and will be flower-girl at our nanny's daughter's Quince Anos celebration. Our daughter loves her and her family, and given what I know of her kids (honor students at Berkeley schools), we are comfortable planning at this point to namer her guardian in event of our deaths."
"We are so lucky and grateful that our nanny creates order and harmony in our house, in addition to playing joyfully with our daughter. To anyone who is considering getting a nanny, please think beyond the narrow definition of childcare and see if you can find someone who can (indirectly) improve the well-being of everyone in the family. Running errands (safely and accurately) is a great example of this...."
"I chose our nanny because she takes the children out everyday. They go to the park, zoo, Fairyland, tumble places, etc. I love that they are exposed to so much. It takes the pressure off me during the weekends to "get out" and it helps them develop a sense of their own personal interests. (My son LOVES his music class and as a working mother, there is no way I could expose him to this.) I feel like his experiences are richer than they would be if he were in a daycare everyday."
"I find that the more you incorporate the nanny and her family as part of your family, the more she gives us. I have a wonderful situation because we don't have a typical employer-employee relationship. I would trust her with my child's life and my own as well, but she's really more like my daughter's grandmother than a nanny."
"I gave my nanny a notebook in which she recorded the activities of the day, time the baby ate, was changed, what the baby ate, etc. It was a great way for me to know what happened and a fun record for when my children are older."
We offered our nanny health care but she wanted higher pay. Wondering if anyone insisted that they take the health care?
" "Nanny" is a grad student who takes care of my kids and does school work with them while I go to work. My kids are home schooled."
"Just wanted to mention that my two youngest children are 12 and 13: our nanny requirements and compensation are very different from when we had a full-time nanny many years ago. With a full-time nanny, we paid health insurance, unemployment/disability, etc., and gave much more vacation. We paid for all days, including days we were away. Took that nanny on vacation with us a number of times. Very different situation."
"my feeling about a live-in is... if i had someone living with me, let's say a friend's sibling, i would expect for that person to help out around the house. i feel the same about a nanny (for the most part). before working for me, my nanny was living in an apartment with her sister's family and working for minimum wage at a job she hated. she was very happy to leave her existing situation to work for us. with us, she lived in a physically nicer environment, only had one child to care for, had much less housework, and got paid a lot more. she loved her family, would go home to them on weekends, and send her paycheck to her mom in mexico. she was happy, her mom was happy and her sister was happy."
"My nanny has a network of women with whom she socializes at the park. I feel that the kids of all of the nannies there benefit from this larger group. It allows for the socialization with a number of kids without compromising the level of attention each kids receives. It also helps the nannies to feel connected and probably helps them avoid burn-out. That being said, I feel that the routine is too repetitive (same park every day) and would like to see more variety in the daily activities.
"Double edged sword in dealing with children's attachment to nanny, sometimes I feel she encourages this (children's preference of nanny to parents). Sometimes favoritism shown to one of the two children."
"It would be interesting to look into the degree of trust between families and nannies-- you touched on this on the nannycam question. I know several families who felt the need to observe their nanny surreptitiously. There is also the issue (cultural? communication?) of nannies being unhappy in a work situation and discussing it with their other nanny friends, then having that get back to parents who were unaware of any issues. I have had issues with prior nannies of there being a lack of total candor on their part. And I know of a couple situations where nannies stretched the truth in an interview and lost job opportunities as a result, because what they said was not corroborated by their references. And I will say that nannies sometimes report to each other that they earn a higher wage than their employers seem to report. Last, I've had a number of nannies who felt somewhat ostracized by the "nanny community" at the park because they felt their primary allegiance was to us and did not want to engage in the chatter over their employees personal lives, finances or the details of their employment relationship. Human nature, I guess, but it is a complicated relationship."
"My son called our nanny Momma for the first 2 years of his life and I was fine with that. She loves our children as if she were their mother! She is the best nanny I have ever met. Everyone who meets her loves her. But, she stays with us because she loves our children. We try and make her life easier. The one lesson that I have learned over the years is that nannies can burn out easily because, in their desire to please, they say yes too often. I have had to learn to let our nanny have a life and time off so that she can stay with us for the long haul. When we hired her we asked her if she could work for us for the next 30 years. My husband is still in contact with his Scottish nanny and that relationship has taught me a lot about making our nanny feel important and empowered to make decisions. I try and not over-ride her decisions, and ask my children to ask our nanny for permission -- not me."
"On the first page, you asked what I DID do when hiring my nanny. If I had to do it again, I would add many of the things on the list-- specifically a list of expectations I had, a contract, and a background check. This was eventually done by a parent who added on to our nanny share and there were no problems, but I wish I had.
"Just a note that I didn't really do a nanny search because my neighbor had hired her and was looking to share and at the time, I wasn't working so I just used her initially for about 8 hours/week. Then, because I found that I could, I was able to get a parttime job and started using her for 3 days/week which involved us sharing with a third family. Her schedule with the other 2 families was already established so I scheduled my contract work around her availability. She is really a part of our family and although we actually don't employ her anymore, she watches our kid on occasional weekends or we go over to her house for dinner so she can spend time with our family. I am also in the process of opening a home daycare with her in her home - I have such faith in her caregiving skills and also want my kid(s) (another one on the way!) to spend more time with the both of us. We found a great way for our families to still be together so that I can also be involved in raising my own children and being with other children, which I love. (I'm a former elementary school teacher taking time off to raise kids)."
"In the past, we have hired nannies with a more formal agreement and set arrangements. It worked fine for a little while but decided that did not work as well for our family as our needs changed. We have been using part time nannies who want to work for short periods while in transition (example work for a year before going back to school or starting their career jobs). We offer more flexibility with schedules and committments but don't offer the traditional paid vacations, etc. That also means that we have to be ok when they need to take a day off for an interview or want to go out of town on short notice. We do extra little things for them even loaning our car on a weekend when they needed it or offering our garage for storage space. They become a part of our family but we are supporting them to move on to other opportunities when the time is right for them. These arrangements have been working great for us compared to having fulltime career nannies. I believe that full time nannies should be treated as employees with certain types of benefits and paid overtime, vacations, holidays, etc."
"had a nanny for our now 5yo from 6-18 months; complex nannyshare arrangement couldn't be renewed. our younger child (just 2yo) had different nanny 6m-now; we gave her 4 mo maternity break for her own baby, hired her relative temporarily, then took her+baby back. she's a friend now so i don't treat her like an employee in many ways (maybe should be stricter in my expectations). will only have her another 2 mo before little one heads off for preschool though. helped her research health & financial issues, provided practical help."
"Advertisement and Discernment - I feel it important for parents to ask for exactly what/who they want. If you don't you won't find who will best fit your family and your child(ren). If you or your child have any doubts, don't hire them! Listen to your intuition, as you will feel guilty if you don't and you were right."
"One challenge of hiring a nanny is that you can't look too far in advance of when you need care, so if you are a Type A person with a definite end to her maternity leave, it's hard to plan. I ended up with my excellent situation because someone knew of a nanny whose employers would be moving away around the time I was going back to work, so we were able to organize it a few months before we started. It was such a relief that we didn't have to interview a million people and we didn't have to worry that we weren't going to have care in place. I guess I don't know where I'm going with this, but I did want to raise it as an issue that is more the case with nannies than with other forms of childcare."
"One of the saddest things I observe as I look at other parents' relationships with their nannies is their failure to treat their nannies as they expect to be treated by their own employers. This is your nanny's JOB. This is what she DOES. In our household, we try to match our policies to my employer's policies. The exception is amount of paid vacation (I receive 4 weeks, she gets 2 -- I don't use them all, and it is very difficult to cover her time off). Otherwise, if I have a paid holiday, she has a paid holiday. I get health insurance, we contribute to her health insurance. I get a bonus, she gets a bonus. I have sick time whenever needed, so does she. My employer pays taxes/SSI, we pay taxes/SSI."
"we started with our nanny when our little girl was ~6 months old and kept her with us until she was 2 1/2; we still are in touch with our nanny (still meet for playdates at the park, etc.) and have her occassionally babysit for us; she is a very, very lovely woman"
"We try to treat our nanny as a professional and respect her knowledge and experience with small children. We appreciate that she really loves children and has pursued a lot of knowledge about early childhood development, so she is doing this as a chosen profession rather than just the only job she could get..."
"What would we do differently.... I would contract for 40 hrs/week x 52 wks/year = total expected salary / 12 months = expected monthly salary... I would contract for a monthly salary, and true up any month that she was under. We pay holiday's at 8 hrs. But Thanksgiving week drives me crazy. I pay 40 hours, for 1.5 days b.c. I have to trave back east, and that isn't a vacation for her. But then I use her for 56 hours the next week and have to pay for all of that too!"
"With the varied ages of my children, we have found that college students are the most capable of handling the home situation. They are smart and resourceful and independent and take good care of the younger ones and act as older siblings to the older ones. The downside is that they leave as they move on to other things so their time with us is often short lived. However, several of them have come back as their needs and ours coincide and these have been very satisfying relationships."
Comments about Having an Au Pair
- [BPN] Page 1 of the survey had a note that for the purpose of this survey, we don't consider an au pair to be a "nanny". It looks like a lot of people overlooked that.
"We registered with an au pair company (I think it was Au Pair Care) initially, but it was a very stressful process to pick someone over the phone with little information, and had heard lots of horror stories from other families. We then found our nanny through a flyer that was posted in the neighborhood. Within 5 minutes of meeting her we knew she would be great...this is the great advantage of getting to meet someone in person and th disadvantage of the au pair companies."
"Au Pairs are a great option if you have a room for them. The cost is very reasonable for a lot of hours of care, and the au pair is dedicated first and foremost to the needs of your family. They bring new energy and strengths each year (as you get a new person) and that makes for a lively, not "burnt out" experience. Our kids have learned that there are lots of wonderful people out there they can trust, and who will enjoy and care for them, rather than feeling that they can only sustain one relationship and can only depend on a few people to care for them. They now have an international community of "big sisters" who send notes, gifts, sometimes join us on vacations abroad. It has been a wonderful, positive experience for our family to go the au pair route with childcare -- and our kids are now 9, 11 and 13. We will continue to have this help until all the kids are independent and mobile enough to get themselves around on their own."
"AuPair and live-in experiences. We tried it and ended it after only one week. She was an AuPair from Germany who on the phone was sweet and charming, but in person was sulky and sullen. She didn't approve of our parenting style and created tons of turmoil in our household. I had heard both good and bad stories about AuPairs - it would be nice to have it better quantified to help people better decide."
Suggestions for Other Questions
"I have my nanny because I work full time. I wonder how many people have nannies because they work, or just to help out with the kids."
"I have often helped a nanny find a job, especially through BPN. That's one service/perk/gift/benefit that wasn't mentioned."
"Can I sponsor my nanny for a green card? I just saw that in one of the questions, but I just looked that up and it looked like only family members could easily make that happen. Maybe I can ask about that in advice, if a lot of people have done it."
- [BPN] Thanks for this info - we'll try to do a better job of checking next time!
what people do when a nanny has a crisis that is 2 weeks to indefinate (we haven't had this but others have and norms would be helpful info)
"I'd love to learn if others have issues with nanny boyfirneds/family members causing concern ( i.e. with a criminal record), and how people handle nannies getting pregnant and going on maternity leave."
"I'd love to see a separate section for families with special needs kids: where to find nannies, how much pay, whether and how to train, etc."
"It would be interesting in future surveys to find out about what trends (e.g. baby sign, babywearing, infant potty training/ EC, etc.) and preferences in childrearing that employers have gotten their nannies on board with. Our nanny was initially skeptical of trying to put the baby on the potty, but now does it regularly. She's also expressed interest in baby sign."
It would be interesting to present questions about what the nannies do with the kids each day, how much daily interaction they have with peers, if they meet up with larger groups of kids, etc."
"My nanny has been with us for 12 years but the survey did not allow me to enter that. Also, as the kids have gotten older, I have kept our nanny's pay the same but keep reducing her hours and adding more vacation time which she enjoyes."
Whether we use Nanny Full Time or Part Time. This would have affected answers to some questions like holidays (the nanny only gets paid for holidays if the holidays overlap with one of the days that the nanny typically works)...
- [BPN] Yes, we should have qualified the vacation and holiday questions to account for part-time nannies and shares. Will do that next time!
would be interested to hear more about salary info + concerns/differences occur with nanny and parents.
- [BPN] If I understand the comment, you are addressing the relationship between the nanny's salary and the parents' salary? Hmmm. That would be interesting!
"How much people charge for nannyshare agreements (for example, is there a price break when folks share nannies)."
- [BPN] Hopefully the hourly rates results answer this question. Yes, there is a price break!
"One thing I didn't see was the notion of the nanny bringing her own child along while caring for mine. My nanny did that for a few months recently, and it had it's pluses and minuses. But overall I preferred a share with another paying family."
"Our nanny became pregnant two months after she started working for us. She took two months off (unpaid) for maternity leave and then returned to take care of our daughter, but we value her work and her presence so much that we agreed to continue to pay her at her regular rate, rather than reducing her salary when she returned - taking care of her newborn daughter and ours. I think the survey could have included how people generally work through this transition. For us, it's been relatively smooth, but I'm sure it's not always that way."
- [BPN] Several people have suggested asking about a nanny's maternity leave or other extended leave.
"Process of giving raises - how often, how much of a raise, how to handle compensation when another child added What to do when nanny excessively sick and have to hire a substitute while gone- want to pay nanny sick pay, but I'm also paying the other one so it gets expensive! Happy to pay when I stay home with the kids when nanny sick, but if I'm paying someone else I have a harder time."
"Questions about how much you think your nanny talks to/stimulates/plays with etc. with your child while you are gone. Meal arrangements, do you have your nanny bring her own food or do you have something for her during the day?"
- [BPN] Good idea - the meals question comes up sometimes in the Advice newsletter.
"THANKS AGAIN, GREAT IDEA TO DO THIS! One other thing: did you have a set list of questions you used in interviewing nannies? Would you be willing to make it available to other moms?"
"Would like some questions about the dynamic of nannies and parents who work at home - does it cause tension, do nannies rely more on the parent when they work at home, does the nanny resent having to keep certain areas of the house quiet for work, etc."
- [BPN] Good suggestion - on the survey summary, 87% of respondents said there is a parent in the home at least part of the time while the nanny is on duty.
"You didn't ask about how much of a hardship the rates we pay nannies are. It's pretty challenging to make enough money to cover $18 an hour. I clear enough for a little pocket change, but it is REALLY hard to make childcare work financially. I know we pay on the lower end for taking care of twins and there is no WAY we could pay any more. Consequently we have someone who is great, but definitely lacking in experience, which I would really LOVE to have."
- [BPN] A question about the employer's financial situation would be good, because this also came up on the question about bonuses. Maybe ask people to pick their household income from a list of ranges?
"You didn't ask the age of the children in the nanny share. Our children are 2 years apart in age. Also, it made a big difference to us that the family we're sharing with had already worked with this nanny for 2 years, so they were an important reference. I do not know how literate our nanny is. You didn't ask about whether you let the nanny take your children in her own car, and if so, if the nanny has a valid driver's license and auto insurance. I would also be curious to know how far people let their nanny travel with their child, i.e., only on foot, in the car within 2 miles, in the car within 10 miles, etc. Another question I'd like you to ask: Does the nanny let your children watch television and is this okay with you?"
- [BPN] These are good questions and we asked some of them in the 2003 survey. The age of children in the share is tough to summarize, though, because there are so many permutations (see "Ages of Children" on the 2003 survey.)
a question like: did you ask for any legal residency documents from your nanny? does immigration status matter to you in a nanny?
advice on posting/finding an appropriate family to share
Bilingual. what languages people are looking for in nannies. Does it work to have kids speak with nanny in other language. How far do the kids keep it?
Maybe what went wrong with a former nanny
Nanny conflict resolution-how many warnings and for what do nannies get? what to do when they dont comply? how to address their missteps?
nanny's activities with kids Safety issues
How long it took to find nanny.
- [BPN] This was on the survey: 4. How far in advance did you find your current nanny?
how to handle firing a nanny
- [BPN] This was on the survey: 47. If you have ever let a nanny go (fired, mutual decision, change of childcare needs), how was that managed?
I'd like to see a discussion about the dynamics of race in nanny/parent relationships.
Question: Do you ask your nanny to do extra hours such as babysitting in the evenings or weekends? How much notice?
You asked about what I had done as an employer. I have talked to my nanny since hiring about my expectations-- maybe questions about this would help people."
- [BPN] Good idea - instead of asking "when you hired, did you ..." ask "have you ever" ...