Support Groups for Divorce
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2008 - 2012 Reviews
Jan 2012
I have recently separated from my husband and would like to find a support group - for those newly separated/divorcing. I'd also like to find a separate group for my kids (I have 2 tweens). So far, things have been amicable, but I want to make sure that my kids and myself work through this emotional process. Private therapy is too expensive, unfortunately. Plus, I'd rather be in a group setting where I can share and participate, and hopefully learn through others' experience, as they learn from mine. Any suggestions are much appreciated. Still Processing
Rachel Walker, MFT, is a wonderful therapist who works with women going through divorce. I believe she has ongoing groups that take place in her South Berkeley office. Contact her at www.rachelwalkermft.com. Good luck.
Nov 2012
I am a professional woman in my early 40s with baby #2 due any day now. About two months ago, my husband announced he wanted a divorce. He has it all planned out - he expects me to buy a house in a better school district (which I can't afford) and move out within 6 months of the birth. I was caught off guard- we have had problems, been in couples counseling, but nothing so serious that I ever dreamed he would abandon me (especially being pregnant). The reality of the situation is just starting to sink in. Since his ''announcement'', he acts like he is single - going out at night, doing his own thing. I strongly suspect he is having an affair with a long-time friend (he denies it, but says they are best friends). He also has not been very involved in a complicated and stressful pregnancy. This is an incredibly difficult and lonely situation for me. I have limited social and family support. I have a therapist. I am trying to find a women's support group, but am not sure where to start. I am looking for something that is maybe a single mom's group, a group for separating women who are mom's, but not a typical mom's group that just focuses on parenting issues. I searched around the web and did not find anything. Anon
I am so sorry to hear about your current circumstances, and agree it can be so helpful to meet and talk with other mothers of young children to process what is going on in oneself, how to go about making the many decisions that are in front of you, and how to move forward. I offer support groups for divorcing/divorced mothers and a new series is starting soon. People have kindly recommended me in past, and you can find reviews by searching for my full name on the BPN website. Feel free to contact me: www.yvonnemansell.com, (510) 528-9551. Yvonne Mansell, MFT, yvonne [at] yvonnemansell.com
Rachel Walker in Berkeley runs support groups for women going through separation and divorce. The groups have been a life saver for me. Her number is 510) 501-2936 I am sorry you are going through this. feeling better after a year of support group
August 2010
I'm interested in a group for people that have been divorced for a while, but still want support and relationship help. I'm over the worst of the divorce itself, but would like a place to meet others who are in a similar stage. Any suggestions? anonymous
I am a member in a divorce support group with Yvonne Mansell, MFT. We are all in different stages (I am many years post-divorce but have a particularly difficult ex), some are newly divorced and just working through initial child custody arrangements. It is a terrific thing to have a group of women who truly understand the myriad of issues that surround split-household culture; single parenting, kids living in very different households with different rules/cultures, dating, negotiating with unreasonable ex-spouses, court/mediation, etc. on top of basic parenting challenges, with a skillful, understated facilitator grounded in Buddhist principles of mindfulness. Fabulous. Check out her website: www.yvonnemansell.com or call her at 510-528-9551. Best of luck to you. Happily divorced mom
Jan 2010
Does anyone have advice about how to get support as a parent going through divorce? I have a dear friend who is particularly interested meeting up with others going through a similar transition, and finding out what's available right now in the East Bay. Thanks! A concerned friend
I just joined group therapy for women going through separation and divorce. New members can join the group until Feb 16th. It meets in Berkeley. The facilitator, Rachel Walker is an MFT and can be reached at (510)501-2936. I hope this is helpful to your friend. Anon
Here is the website for the program at Lafayette Orinda Church. It is not religious and is an excellent program. http://www.lopc.org/singles_divorce_recovery.asp been there
How kind of you to ask this question for your friend. I offer such a group, and am just starting a new one for parents who co-parent in some fashion. Issues we discuss are: adjusting to this major transition for oneself and child(ren), dealing with co-parenting challenges, creating a new social network for oneself and child(ren), and giving and receiving mutual support and understanding. Groups usually meet every other week in a series of 8, with the possibility of renewing. Having facilitated therapeutic support groups for almost 20 years, and parenting groups for the last 7 years, I value creating a safe space for expression, and for connection to develop. Feel free to contact me for further information. www.yvonnemansell.com, 510-528-9551. Yvonne Mansell, MFT
2004 - 2007 Reviews
Feb 2007
I need help finding support groups for going through a divorce. The most recent advice I could find was dated back in 2003. I am a newly single mom going through a messy divorce and would like to find other parents in a similar situation for support. Thanks Depressed mom
It's been a few years, but I'm almost certain they will still have an ongoing divorce support group at the Lafayette-Orinda Presbyterian Church (LOPC) in Lafayette. I'm sorry I don't have the phone number or web site, but I'm sure you can easily find them. In addition to divorce-support, there is also a single-parenting support group there, which I found extremely helpful. Good luck. Linda
Dec 2006
Hi. I am looking for a support group to help me through the throes of divorce. I know of Kidsturn, but I'm wondering if there's anything else out there focused on the adult. Thanks! anon
There is a divorce support group and a weekly group for single parents support at the Lafayette Orinda Presbyterian Church in Lafayette. I don't have the phone number, but I'm sure if you google and call the church, they will have the number to call. anonymous
Sept 2004
I have an eight year old daughter and share custody with her father, who I divorced 6 years ago. Since then, it has been extremely difficult to co-parent -- a fact complicated by his remarriage to a woman with 2 grown children, the recent advent of a new baby and the fact that despite all these hopeful things, there appears to be residual hostility on his part. Each little thing has become a major nightmare and the unpleasantness cannot but be affecting my daughter. Most recent spate of problems has involved very different views on afterschool enrichment activities. We have 50% custody each, but since the step-mother is a full time housewife, my daughter is actually not spending time with her father, but with her step-mother, who I do not regard as a particularly inspiring role model.
Is there a ''divorced parents'' support group where one might seek advice and get a regular ''reality check?'' If not, I'd love to start one -- hopefully a small one that might be right for academic single mothers whose ''full time jobs'' are actually a lot more than that, even. seeking help
I've been hearing good things about a workshop series for divorced and separated families called Kids' Turn. Parents go and kids go; kids go off with other kids, and the parents separate and go off in other groups. It's a way of sharing and talking about feelings and puzzling through some things. Here is the website: http://www.kidsturn.org/parents/workshop.htm I haven't acted on this yet, so if you go, I'd be curious to hear your opinion. john
2003 & Earlier
Sept 2003
I am undergoing a divorce and am extremely stressed and depressed. I have a 3 & 5 yr old and find that I am screaming at them more frequently. Does anyone know of any divorce support groups in the east bay and a good therapist specializing in divorce? thanks
The Lafayette-Orinda Presbyterian Church had a very active divorce workshop about 12 years ago when I was in your situation. It was a real life saver for me, worth every minute of time and every penny of gas on Monday evenings. There were also support groups for children. LOPC has historically had an active singles (of all persuasions--don't let the location stand in your way of great help) support ministry. You might give the church office a call and see what is available now. signed, Better, now!
If you live in Northern Alameda County, you can call the Bananas WarmLine (reachable through the main number, 658-7353) for an initial conversation with an MFT and referrals for other local therapists and groups. Just so you know, you'll probably get a call back rather than being able to talk to someone on the spot. Jennifer
Try kidsturn.org. They are an advocacy group for parents and children based in San Francisco. I think they've got a new book out, too. I work at a school in the East Bay, and several co-workers and parents recommend them.
[editor] see reviews of Kids Turn
I’m very sorry to hear about your situation. Shalom Bayit offers individual counseling as well as support groups for victims/survivors of abuse (including emotional abuse, as you described). Participants include those who are still in their abusive relationships and considering divorce. There is one group currently meeting in person in SF, their other groups are still taking place by phone…for now. The staff at Shalom Bayit can also help you find other support groups at other DV agencies if SF is not a convenient place for you to attend in person. You can call the helpline (510)845-7233 or email counseling [at] shalom-bayit.org. Shalom Bayit is a Jewish organization but serves folks of any background.
I am so sorry you are experiencing such terrible abuse. I am recently divorced and only now realizing the depth of my trauma and just how not ok my former spouse's behavior was for a very long time. Emotional abuse, infidelity, substance use, and co-parenting with an increasingly polarized partner were all part of the picture.
Consider reaching out to CORA to see what support they have to offer.
My former spouse agreed to a collaborative divorce process which includes mental health support. They present well—all the manipulation and control happened in private. I did not think I could get a fair settlement or protect my children by mediating or going to court. I trusted the collaborative process. The professionals (even my partner's attorney) came to see what was going on. I came to feel well supported and that I got a fair settlement (financial and child related). I also had the support of a therapist I had been working with for a while who is trained in collaborative divorce and treating substance use issues impacting the whole family. Consider attending a free collaborative divorce workshop (addresses many paths to divorce, not only collaborative practice) before making any divorce related decision (informative and no pressure). Consider reaching out to Emily Weaver, a collaborative practice mental health coach.
Also consider attending an ITC workshop or group (focus will be on repairing the relationship, but you can learn skills to protect yourself from your partner's behaviors while going through divorce), or going to Al-Anon group for support around the substance use.
This will be a difficult road, and trust that you will find support to navigate it so that you can begin healing and have a better future for yourself and your children. Be kind to yourself. You can get through this.
I don’t know if you are a Kaiser member, but years ago they had a really great and helpful divorce support group. Highly recommended.