My close cousin who lives in a different country suddenly lost her husband last week. He was only 43 and she has 3 daughters , 16 yr old twins and a 11 year old. The family is understandably very shocked. I wanted to offer her support by sending her online resources and books for her and her kids to help navigate this incredibly challenging time. I would love some recommendations and resources and thoughts that help offer some support. Thank you
There is a book for younger kids but I and others have found it comforting--Anna and the Old One.
It is about a grandmother knowing she will die soon and the child not wanting to accept it. There is also Kara down in the Peninsula which is grief support for kids in this situation, maybe they have suggestions.
So sorry to hear of their loss (and yours) and wishing them comfort.
Hello. Five years ago I experienced a similar situation: living abroad, unexpected death of spouse, 2 teenage kids. We’re now back in the Bay Area, and in places (geographically, emotionally, socially) that support our growth. Still more bumps ahead for sure; grief is now just a (mostly) manageable part of our lives. Resources have varied. One book I still recommend is “It’s okay not to be okay” by Megan Devine. I’m currently in a training program by Francis Weller, and he is brilliant. Main book is “Wild Edge of Sorrow.” Both authors have resources on their website. There are also a lot of Instagram accounts/ Facebook groups; some I find more useful than others. Will try to search through and post again. If you/ your cousin would like to be in touch with me, happy to do so. As this message will post publicly, probably easiest to send me a message via LinkedIn profile. Coincidentally my professional work is in the field of global mental health. I now have reluctant expertise. Thank you for supporting your cousin through this. https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-shankar
First of all, I'm sorry about the tragic loss your family is experiencing. It must be hard being so far from them during this difficult time. As for resources, I found Sheryl Sandberg's book on grief (Option B) to be helpful for me when I experienced my brother's unexpected death, followed by my father-in-law's death three days later (also unexpected). I can't speak as to whether it was helpful to my teens. They had copies as well. To be honest, I was too numb to notice if they were reading it. You also might find it useful to read as someone connected to those who are experiencing grief. Good luck to all of you on your grief journey.
My father died suddenly when he was 47 and left my mom behind with kids ages 5, 11, 14 and 15. Each one of us grew into adults with unresolved issues around his death that could have been resolved, or at least identified, through therapy. I would encourage her to build regular therapy into each of their lives through their teen years or early twenties. I don't necessarily think it is imperative to have therapy to get through the immediate grief, but once life returns to a regular flow, the impact of the suddenness of their loss will impact decisions and feelings in their lives in ways they likely are not aware of on their own.
Although not a book, this ted talk by a woman who studied resilience then lost her young daughter, has some profoundly helpful advice. Probably best for 13 years or older. Maybe soon after the death is a bit early to watch it but 6 months or so out I think it might be very valuable: https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy_hone_3_secrets_of_resilient_people/trans…