Exhale

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Oct 2012

RE: Supporting daughter's decision to terminate pregnancy

What a tough situation your family is facing! You and/or your daughter may want to check out http://exhaleprovoice.org/ for some info and support. Getting yourself some support, maybe a therapist would be helpful too. Best of luck. Anon

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Hi, You mentioned that you gave your daughter a hotline number to call and perhaps it was for EXHALE. If not, I thought I'd share their website http://exhaleprovoice.org/. They offer not just phone support but also videos of women's abortion stories. Your daughter might find it easier to hear these stories than to talk to others right now. The website also has some information for family members and a number of resources. Your daughter is fortunate to have your support right now. Warm regards Lee

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Feb 2009

RE:  Trying to conceive at 42 after a termination

Two things.

1) You're not alone. So many women terminate pregnancies and have very mixed feelings about it. Myself included. I fully support people's choices and decisions for themselves and their families' but even though I know the decision I made was correct for myself, it was still one of the toughest I've ever made and I still think about it often. I now have a child I adore and would like to someday have another so I understand that desire and the fear around whether I'll be able to do so.

2) There are so many resources available to you to help get you to a place where you're okay with your decision, as well as to help you have a successful pregnancy. I'd like to recommend a source for coming to an okay place about your decision. There is a terrific nonprofit organization in the Bay Area (in Oakland) called Exhale which offers pre- and post-abortion counseling via a confidential and anonymous hotline. http://www.4exhale.org/ or 1-866-4 EXHALE.

They are supportive of women's choices, no matter what they decide, and also counsel family members (like husbands, boyfriends, parents, etc) who are dealing with abortion-related issues with a loved one. They have a variety of resources on their website that I found helpful in dealing with my own termination and I've found their counselors to be extremely well-trained good listeners and non-judgemental allies for women.

What I really liked about them was that they adopted the language I used to describe my experience. I knew I was making the right decision for myself, but I also felt in my heart that I had terminated a life -- a potential child -- and they used the same language and didn't force any PC words on me. I think abortion conversations should allow space for a woman to refer to her ''fetus, child, baby, problem, etc'' or whatever that woman feels without someone politicizing it.

I felt respected for how I experienced the pregnancy and Exhale never aliented me and really helped me come to terms with my decisions. You may find them to a be a useful starting place in helping you deal with the guilt issues you're going through -- without necessarily taking the plunge into finding a face-to- face counselor. They offer counseling in Spanish, Cantonese, Mandarin, and Vietnamese on certain days. Best of luck. Becky

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Dec 2006

RE:  Had abortion- no relief; only remorse

Call the Exhale hotline right away. This is what they're there for. It's going to be OK. http://www.4exhale.org/
An abortion provider

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dear sad mom: reading your post broke my heart! I had an abortion earlier this year-- totally the right decision for our family (we decided long ago to only have one), but it was a hard decision nonetheless & one that brought with it lots of sadness. 5 days is not that long ago-- please give yourself time to grieve; what you are going through sounds like a totally normal reaction. if you would like to talk to a therapist, Kim Kluger- Bell on Solano Ave specilaizes in pregnancy termination & loss (I saw her after a miscarriage & after the abortion). her number is 510 524-1475. also there is an after-abortion hotline called Exhale that Planned Parenthood recommended, though I never called it: 866 439-4253 not sad anymore

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Everything that you are feeling is normal. There is no ''right'' way to feel. There is a great organization called EXHALE which offers free, non-judgemental, confidential phone counseling to women who have had abortions (and their allies). They are ''pro-voice''! If it was 5 days ago or 50 years ago, you still have a right to your complicated feelings and to be listened to and supported. www.4exhale.org info [at] 4exhale.org (info[at]4exhale[dot]org) After-Abortion Talkline: 1-866-4 EXHALE Monday - Friday, 5 p.m. - 10 p.m. Pacific Saturday - Sunday, 12 p.m. - 10 p.m. Pacific Counseling available in English, Spanish, Vietnamese, Cantonese, Mandarin and Tagalog. it helps to talk and get support 

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June 2004

RE:  In my 40's, with 2 kids, considering abortion

I salute you and everyone else who really thinks about the enormity of child- rearing. Anyone who has had an abortion should know about EXHALE, a post- abortion talkline. It offers non-judgemental emotional support, resources and information. You can call 20 minutes or 20 years after an abortion, it is also a resource for your partner or other friends. The talkline operates Monday through Friday from 5p.m. to 10p.m. and Spanish language counseling is available Wednesday from 5p.m. to 10 p.m. and by request. Their web site is www.4exhale.org and the talkline number is 1-866-4EXHALE. Peace