Mother's Helper

Parent Q&A

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  • Hi! 

    My wife and I are considering hiring a “mothers helper”, but to be honest don’t really have any knowledge of what that actually means and if it’s the right thing for us! Hoping to connect with another family that has had experience (either via phone or email) 

    Our questions are :


    (1) what’s types of things are “in vs out” and how flexible can it be? we’d see most value in errands like grocery shopping, dishes, tidying (not deep cleaning), laundry and extra set of hands/eyes to watch baby if mother needs to do something 
    (2) is an arrangement for a few hours a day a thing? 
    (3) what’s a ballpark cost? 
    (4) what has your experience been? 

    I imagine answers will vary depending on who is hired, but just looking to gain a foundational set of knowledge on the subject before deciding to proceed with pursuing help 

    A Mother's Helper is typically a younger kid (ages 8-11) who comes over and plays with your children while the adult is at home. This provides the adult the opportunity to take a shower, do the dishes, fold laundry, without having to worry about entertaining little ones.  Typically a Mother's helper will work for much less than a babysitter (I'd guess ~$8/hour); however, they won't have the maturity or experience to leave alone with your little kiddos.  

    From your description, you are looking for someone who is a babysitter/errand runner. You'll need to make it clear that you want someone who will do housework as well as run errands. Most nannies won't be interested because it won't be enough hours per week.  High school and college students would be great and will (mostly) have the ability to drive but they get busy with activities, finals, etc. and so aren't always available when you need them.  Additionally, you could post on your neighborhood's next door to see if there is a retired person who wants to pick up a few hours per week watching your kids, running errands, tidying up, etc.   Good luck!

  • Hi, I’m looking for advice on how to find the help we need. Both my husband and I work from home, and my mom is the primary caregiver for our almost 8 months old baby. My mom speaks only Mandarin and she’s able to communicate with my English speaking husband about baby. While she does most of the care for baby, my husband and I do laundry, formula, dishes. My mom cooks but as a result baby sometimes is left for self-play and will sometimes miss his nap window because of the cooking. My mom also doesn’t get enough rest during the day because obviously she’s on baby duty. I’m hoping we can find someone who can fill in the gaps so that we all can go about our day without feeling super stretched all the time. Initially I was hiring for a nanny but it becomes more and more obvious that my takes the primary child care duty makes the most sense for our family. She enjoys cooking and needs a nap during the day, and we need someone to look after baby during those times. We also need this person to make solids and do the laundry, dishes, tidying up and light cleaning around the house. If this person can also take my mom and baby out to museums, parks, beaches and easy hikes, that’d be the most amazing. We are thinking of hiring this person for 4-6 hours per day 5 days per week. Rate will be $35-40 per hour. Are there people out there work to support families in what the families need the most, instead of just nannying or house keeping? What are the things that I need to make explicit in the job post to make the hire successful? Is the rate reasonable for the expectation? Please share your experience, advice, feedbacks on how to make this hiring process successful! I could really use some help! Thank you all in advance!

    What you’re looking for is a ‘mother’s helper’. These vary in experience from a highschool or college student to a nanny who wants extra part time work. We have the latter and pay her $32 an hour for helping care for and entertain a preschooler and a baby in the evening from 5-9.  She has been a huge help to our family and everything is so much easier with her around. She also picks up the baby from daycare, cleans up the kitchen, and preps lunches for my husband and I. 

  • Mother's Helper Rate?

    Dec 3, 2023

    Hi All,

    We are hoping to hire a high-schooler or 20-something to pick up our 2nd grader from school and spend a couple of hours with them about 3 days a week.

    Can anyone let us know what the going pay rate for this might be? Their house is 5 minutes from our kid's school and the current person we are going to ask, lives next door to us so there is no commute time :)

    Thanks in advance!

    That is not "mother's helper" that is a babysitter. Mother's helper is someone who works in the house to help out when there is a parent home. (Occupying a toddler in one room while mom feeds the infant in another, for example.) $20/hour for a babysitter in this scenario.

    If you want them to pick a child up from school I would say this is more like a babysitter than a mother's helper. I would pay $15-20 per hour. A mother's helper is generally a tween that is too young to babysit on their own. More like a responsible playmate. Have you talked to the person you intend to hire about their rate? That is how we pay our babysitter.

    If you'll be home while this person is there with your kiddo, I think $15/hr for a high schooler is reasonable. That's what we pay the 15-16 yr olds who come play with our kids while parents are home and doing other stuff. That rate might be ok for a college student too, but if they have more childcare experience they might ask for a bit more. For additional context, one of our son's preschool teachers babysits for us occasionally when we're not home, and we pay $25/hr for 2 kids.

  • Seeking household assistant

    Aug 3, 2023

    Hello,

    My wife and I (with two kids under 5) are looking for some daytime help around the house. Ideally this person would come by 2 or 3 times a week, for 2-3 hours, and help with:

    • Kitchen cleaning
    • Folding laundry
    • Organizing kids rooms and playroom
    • Meal prep
    • Occasional deep cleaning
    • Other odd jobs (assembling furniture and the like)

    We live in North Oakland, and have a well-behaved dog. We are pretty flexible on actual days and times, but need somebody who is reliable and communicates well.

    Let us know if you have someone in mind, or know of other places to post this or look for such a person. Thanks!

    I have a recommendation for the "Other odd jobs" which are not generally included in a housekeeper's purview. Taskrabbit is great for "assembling furniture" and other small handyman

    like endeavors. I used them for taking out a glass interior skylight and replacing with lucite---I was scared to do it and the gentleman did it seamlessly in about 10 minutes. Also, they assembled a desk for me, attaching the legs, etc. 

  • Mother’s Helper Advice

    Nov 6, 2020

    Our family has been struggling to find babysitters for some time but I’m thinking what we’re really looking for is a “Mother’s Helper” instead? I’m a stay at home Mom with a 4yr old boy (attending a small Preschool pod part time), 2yr old boy and 3mo old, with no help from family or friends. I’m in need of someone to play with the older children so I can focus on the baby, or get things done at home. Ideally, 3x a week for 1-4hrs to play with only the 2yr old or both the 2 and 4yr old. We previously tried another sitter a few times in this same “position” but since I was home I ended up changing the 2yr old’s diapers, prepping and serving meals/ snacks, providing new activities, etc throughout the “babysitting” time. This was despite being in a different room of the house, working on the computer, asking to not be disturbed unless necessary. My kids were bored and we still paid $25/hr for this “Nanny”. So, it really seems like for the level of responsibility I’m expecting, an older kid might be able to do the job better with a much more reasonable rate?  

    My questions are- how to find such a person? I haven’t really seen any ads like that here so is BPN the best place to look? And secondly, what is average pay like for this type of position? I would imagine with schools not being in person there must be local teens or other young people available who could help another Covid conscious, socially distancing family? We’re located in Crockett and have a very open home with a fenced deck and other outdoor play space so we could even plan for the majority of time to be outside, or with masks. 
    Thank you in advance for any help or insights!

    My college-age daughter has been a mother's helper twice. The first job she found on care.com. The second on Nextdoor. She was most recently paid $15/hour for two kids, although she was willing to work for $12 while the mother was home. My daughter says it is really hard to keep younger kids from wanting their mom when they know the mom is home. I suggest taking the baby out, for a long walk or to drive around, so your other children really know you are not available. Also have the mother's helper take the older kids for a walk or to a local park for part of the time.

  • Mother’s Helper question

    Sep 8, 2020

    Hi everyone,

    How much do you pay a part-time mother’s helper that’s a high school or college student. 
     

    thank you 

    A "mother's helper" is usually a younger teen or older child who plays with a toddler/preschooler in another part of the house, while one or both parents are on site. So it is usually a cheaper arrangement because they don't have any actual responsibility for the child's welfare, just entertainment value. A high schooler/college student is old enough to be a babysitter when parents aren't home, able to make more money, so probably not going to go for a mother's helper job. An older teen/adult rate for babysitting is about $10/hour for the first child and $8-10 for the second and beyond. A mother's helper is more like $5-8/hour in my opinion.

    I felt pushed to post because of the first response... I think that while you you could "get away" with what is quoted ($5-10/hour) it is unethical and likely illegal. I think any help you "hire" should be paid at least $10 hour but really, more like $12-15 (the minimum wage, whatever it is in your area). In my area (Alameda) the average I have seen is $20/hr. 

    I am the parent of a college student who was offered $12/per hour for two children as a mother's helper (mom was working in another room in the house). My daughter was fine with that rate as it was less responsibility than babysitting, however a Nextdoor thread went ballistic that no one should be paid less than minimum wage, $15/hour. So the family then offered $15/hour and the mom went to work out of the house.

  • Hi there! 

    I'm not sure if I'm asking for the moon or not, but my husband and I would like to hire someone who can come 2-3 days a week for 5-6 hours/time to help us with housecleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, meal prep (based on menus I give them), and occasional household projects.

    I've posted my ad to Craigslist and to Care.com but I'm wondering if this kind of person exists and, if they do, where else I might look to find someone like this. 

    If you've hired someone like this, I would love to hear your experience!

    Thank you!

    Hi. I had this situation after my second child was born. She was a recent college grad and started a few weeks before the birth and stayed on for three months. Somehow we got her for 16 an hour, but after hiring we lent her a car and used points to get her tix to Dominican Republic to see family. It was the best money we’ve ever spent. Ever. I hate living in a mess and though friends and neighbors brought meals, this person was indispensable. She drove kid one to preschool, unloaded the dishwasher, prepped meals, did laundry, held baby, etc. Found her on care.com, though at first she wasn’t responsive on email. Also posted to all the other similar sites. Hope you find someone. 

    Recently had no luck on care.com for a regular babysitting position at about 20 hours per week. Everyone I contacted was either not interested in that much of a commitment, or if they were, already had a position. I am surmising that if such unicorns exist on care.com, you want to grab them either before summer (as the school year ends) or just before the start of the school year as many are students on some level.

    You might try to post up at Cal. I'm sure there are undergrads or graduate students who would love some extra income on a flexible schedule.

  • We are a couple with a four year old and a baby arriving in a month. We currently have an awesome housekeeper who comes once a week to deep clean the house. We are looking for someone who is available more often - 3-4 hours a day, during the day or at night - 4-5 days per week (12-20 hours a week). With a new baby, it will be hard to juggle everything. Our 4 year old will be in preschool everyday from 9-12:30. We don't necessarily want childcare, but want help getting stuff done around the house. I would rather spend time with my children than have someone else spend time with them while I do household chores. We're looking for an efficient person who will do meal prep, cook, do laundry and put it away, clean up after meals, tidy the house, etc. Virtually all the postings here and on Craigslist that we see are for nannies who do light house keeping, or housekeepers who do once or twice a week deep cleanings.

    Has anyone had this type of set up? Can you recommend anyone? Where else can we look?

    Thank you.

    Have you placed an ad describing what you are looking for on care.com (or similar sites) or Craig's List?

    Hi there,

    Congrats on your upcoming 2nd child. Have you asked your current housekeeper if she can swing working an additional day or two for you? Or, does she know someone who you can hire additionally? Or, what about your older child's preschool schedule--is there an extended day or after care option that you can pay for an extra day or two per week, to "give you back" some hours where you can get those household things done, albeit with baby at home with you too. You didn't mention if you work outside the home. If not, I wonder if there are any time management techniques that might help you out? Or what about hubby--can he pitch in more? I'm of the opinion that it's not unkind to "lovingly ignore" your kids sometimes, to get stuff done around the house. This can be a skill-building too (well, for your older one, not the baby)--in they learn how to self-entertain or just deal with boredom. And it's valuable for them to see that everyone pitches in with jobs at home. Good luck!

    Hi there. I'm not sure if you are looking for shorter term or longer term help, but I remember the doula group I used for my first son several years ago offered postpartum services where they would come to the home, cook dinner, clean up, make sure the new Mom had what she needed in order to care for the new baby. The folks I worked with are no longer with the doula group so not sure if they still do this. I've also heard of people hiring "mothers helpers" to do what you're describing so moms can spend time with their kids rather than on household tasks. My old nanny used to do this for another family who had two children. Once she even cleaned out their garage for them. I would consider advertising on care.com as I've had good luck there - as long as you're clear with what you want I wouldn't imagine it would be hard to find someone willing to do what you're describing.

    Hi- it seems like you need an active "granny" or MIL for hire!

    Perhaps look at a senior center - maybe a retired woman there could use some income.

Archived Q&A and Reviews


Mother's helper to help in the evenings

June 2006

We have two kids under 2.5 years old attending preschool/daycare, and both parents working outside of the home. We are considering hiring a mother's helper during the dinner hour to ease the transition from work/daycare to dinner to bath to bedtime. Have you had such help before? Any advice what type of personality/backgrounds to look for? How many hours is ideal? Needing an extra pair of hands


We hired a mother's helper about 9 months ago and it's been a HUGE help. She comes in twice a week for around 5 hours total. Does cooking and food prep, light cleaning, dishes, laundry, changes bedsheets, even a little sewing. We posted an ad on Craigslist and she responded. We got lucky because she lives in the neighborhood and was looking for just a few hours each week. We are going to be seriously bummed when she someday decides to move on.

In addition to posting an ad on Craigslist, you can look on Craigslist for what people post who are looking for such a positions. It's under Gigs/Domestic. Also, one of the BPN newsletters might help.

We spoke to almost 10 people before we hired anyone. We found that most people wanted more hours than we could offer. Typically people wanted half time work (20 hours/week), but would accept something a little less, but not the 4-6 hours/week that we would guarantee (which is why we got lucky with who we got). Make sure you check references, too


Hiring a mother's helper is a matter of what your own needs are and what you feel comfortable with. My mother's helper comes 4 to 6 hours a week after school. She is 16 and very warm and fun. She plays with the kids and folds their laundry, picks up their toys after play, and feeds them dinner too. (they eat early because they are babies). I found her through asking teachers at a local high school to recommend someone. Since she is never there alone I didn't do a more thorough background check or anything like that love our Mothers Helper