Books for Kids about Aging, Illness, and Death

Parent Q&A

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  • Any advice on how to talk to a six year old about a grandparent's passing? Any books or media that may help them understand and process? Anything we should or shouldn't say?

    Unfortunately this grandparent lives overseas, which means we were not able to visit very often these last few months. However, our child has spent several months a year with this grandparent. We know this event will affect our child.

    Six is old enough to understand a lot than we sometimes think.  When my husbands mom died our daughter was younger but we talked about how we can remember her by sharing memories and we made a special art drawing of a memory we had together.  There’s  a painting that hangs in my daughters room which her grandmother painted and when we look at it  we talk about her and remember her. She understood that we can feel sad when someone dies and we miss them…that we won’t see them anymore in person but their spirit lives on in our memories of them.  With day of the dead approaching that can be a time to create a special collection to remember her with small objects or art to remember her by and some flowers.  Or perhaps on her birthday you could do something special to remember her.  

    Annie and the old one is a good book, about a grandparent but also more generally good.

    I recommend “Until We Meet Again” by Susan Jones. It’s out of print, but used copies are not too hard to find. 

    My daughter was 2 when my dad died, and they had spent alot of time together. Books help.   I asked the hospice team for recommendations.   I got "Something very sad happened" by Bonnie Zucker, but i think it's more for toddlers. Check it out, though. Tear soup was also recommended.  I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard. 

    A book that I liked was I’ll Be The Water by Alec Aspinwall. It is about a boy and his grandfather and the process he goes through once his grandfather has died. It’s a very lovely book that I felt very comforted by after the death of my dad a couple years ago. 

    I’m very sorry for your loss. Usborne has a good book on this called “why do things die?” It helps explain the basics of death that are an important grounding for young kids (what does die mean, what kinds of things can die, what causes them to die, etc.) but also touches on the cultural and emotional aspects (what happens to people after they die, different ways people commemorate the dead, what feelings you might experience, etc).

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Questions  

Books about cancer that a preschooler would understand

March 2010

I'm looking for recommendations for picture books that discuss cancer (specifically a parent or family member having cancer/being in the hospital)at a level that a preschooler could understand. Any recommendations would be appreciated. Thanks anon


Picture books about cancer: The Rockridge Branch of the Oakland Public Library has a wonderful section in the Children's Library dealing with family issues. The section has picture and children's books on Cancer, going to the hospital, going to the doctor, pets dying, going to the dentist, etc. The children's librarian in that branch is very helpful and can show you that section. joy


Here is a link to a book published by a cancer survivor with material from her daughter. http://www.lulu.com/LastYearThisYear Good luck with everything


I asked two listservs and here is a wealth of information. Good luck.

Some responses are from independent booksellers, some from authors in the children's lit field.

Hugs On The Wind is not about cancer specifically, but it is about separation. It is written so it can be used for a loved one away in a hospital, a grandparent who lives far away, a parent off to work each morning, someone who has died, etc. It has been very helpful to young ones. It's told from POV of Little Cottontail who misses his grandfather who has gone far across the Great Green Meadow. Death is never mentioned; it's just about separation and how Little Cottontail uses nature symbols to feel close to his grandfather.

The Lemonade Club by Patricia Polacco (from Hicklebees in San Jose)

Kathy's Hats: A Story of Hope by Trudy Krisher (Hicklebees, San Jose)

The Purple Balloon by Chris Raschka is about terminally ill children. Books Inc.

Sammy's Mommy Has Cancer by Sherry Kohlberg (definitely at a pre-school level with basic but colorful illustrations) Tickles Tabitha's Cancer-tankerous Mommy by Amelia Frahm The Paper Chains by Claire Blake Good Luck, Mrs. K.! (an affecting and more artfully done book and only book by a big NYC publisher. Please note this is for k-3, as it's about a beloved elementary teacher's cancer)

Can I Catch Cancer? By Cristine Thomas
Our Mom Has Cancer by Abigail Ackerman
My Mom Has Cancer by Carolyn Parkinson

Shennen Bersani has a new book out, 'Nana, What's Cancer?'

http://www.shennen.typepad.com/ There is a news link that shows an interview with the granddaughter/ grandmother who wrote the book, and all proceeds go to the American Cancer Society. I think of the books mentioned in this thread this might be the most useful.

I looked hard, as best I could online, at the others. Since my youngest grandson was in Kindergarten when his mom was going through chemotherapy for breast cancer, and even though I was a primary caregiver for her, I didn't know until recently he wet his pants at school every time she had a chemo appointment. I'm impressed this book,' Nana, What's Cancer?', was written by a survivor and the grandchild who first asked this question. So if I were to buy a book for kids on cancer, this is the one I'd purchase. In fact, I am buying a copy.

The American Cancer Soc. website has a number of books aimed at different ages about family members who have cancer including one about a mommy with breast cancer for very young children, workbooks, and books aimed at older kids. There are also books for kids who have cancer... all sorts of choices.

p.s. If any of you have cancer, or need support around that illness as a friend or family member, I can't recommend the ACS more. They are wonderful.

There's a picture book called 'When Someone You Love Has Cancer' that I've heard is good, though I haven't read it. It's on Amazon and two other titles on the subject are listed on the page. I hope this helps.

Jacqueline Golding, Ph.D. has a reference book, HEALING STORIES that compiles picture books for the big & small changes in a child's life. It does have a section on chronic illness that lists titles of PBs that apply to this discussion.

The American Psychology Association has a wonderful children's book publisher called Magination Press. They have children's books available for very many difficult topics such as cancer. I would check out this website.

http://www.apa.org/pubs/magination/

Debbie Duncan's When Molly Was In The Hospital: A Book For Brothers And Sisters Of Hospitalized Children isn't about cancer but just might fit the bill. Nancy


Children's book about sick/dying grandmother?

Aug 2006

My friend's mother has cancer and may pass away. My friend has two boys, ages 2 and 4, and is looking for a children's book relating to this issue that presents it in a non-negative light. She's not looking for a religious book but isn't opposed to a discussion of ''heaven'' if its not too involved. She asked me to find one for her. Any recommendations would be great. Thank you


This was not among the books listed previously, but I have recommended this one before. It is ''Badger's Parting Gifts'' by Susan Varley, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is great for the age group (well at least the 4 year old) you have in mind and is good for any age really Anon


Badger's Parting Gifts by Susan Varley. It manages to be non-religious but uplifting--I think it comforted me as much as it did my child. good luck!


Maria Shriver has a fairly current and very popular book on the subject. -Heather
[I think this is called What's Happening to Grandpa? -Ed]


My son has really liked ''I miss you: a first look at death'' by Pat Thomas. It's very matter of fact, explains about death and the emotions that go along with it, and the illustrations carry a sub-plot about a little girl whose grandmother dies. All around, it's very well done best wishes


Good for you for helping support your friend! Here are some of the books I looked into when my kids' great-grandfather died last year. ''Liplap's Wish'' talks about grieving from a child's point of view, and is suitable for 2-4 year olds. ''Nana Upstairs, Nana Downstairs'' by Tomie de Paola talks about aging and death. ''The Tenth Good Thing about Barney'' is about a pet rather than a grandmother, but it answers children's questions about death in a very gentle way. You might also check out Marc Brown's ''When Dinosaurs Die.'' I was initially concerned that a couple of pages were too intense for my kids, but they took away only the information they neded and just had no interest in the rest Jennifer


How thoughtful of you to help your friend. I'm a former librarian and have several suggestions for preschool level books. My Grandson Lew, by Charlotte Zolotow (about to be reprinted, but available at libraries) is a lovely story about a 6-year-old boy who learns long after the fact about his grandfather's death. His mother had not told him of the death because he was only 2 and she thought he would not miss or remember the grandfather. They learn remembering together is healing. In the book My Grandpa Died Today, by J. Fassler, the grandfather prepares his grandson for his death (''I'm not afraid to die because you are not afraid to live.''). But one of my favorites is Annie and the Old One, by M. Miles. It's a tale of a Navajo child who tries to prevent her grandmother's death by secretly unweaving the rug the grandmother is trying to finish before she dies. The grandmother helps her understand the circle of life. A book about the death of a pet can also help start a conversation. Try The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, by Judith Viorst. (Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs by de Paola, already mentioned on a previous post, is also excellent.) Please talk to a children's librarian for other suggestions, including some non-fiction titles. Here is a link to a list of books on death and dying for children of various ages: http://www3.baylor.edu/~Charles_Kemp/terminal_illness/childrens_books.htm#top. And here's to improving health for this child's grandmother Lisa


there is the book ''anna and the old one'' which i found quite nice, about a child whose grandmother knows she is old and passing away soon and how the child tries to stop it, and then, with her grandmother, learns to accept it. i didn't see the original post, so i don't know what age child(ren) the books are for, but it is a very nice book. anon


There's a book called ''Flip Flop'' about a little rabbit who's sad after being reminded of his grandmother who has recently died. Not religious at all. At the end, he is happy knowing that she's the brightest star in the sky and he can look up to her and remember her. I don't know the auther offhand, and if I go into my kids' room, I may wake them. I definitely recommend it for your friends' kids after their grandmother passes away. I hope someone has a good book for right now. paula


Maria Shriver has a popular book on this subject. Heather


I have a fantastic book to recommend about a grandmother who dies. It's called ''Ghost Wings'' by Barbara Joosse and beautifully illustrated by Giselle Potter. The theme is about a mexican family with a little girl who experiences the death of her grandmother. Dios de las Muertas plays a part in this wonderfully told story! Can't say enough good things about this book! dessa


Books about grandparent's death

Nov 1998

For the parent wanting recommendations for books on aging and the elderly:

I highly recommend Tomie de Paola's book, Nana Upstairs-Nana Downstairs. While it's about 20 years old, and can be checked out of the library, he also recently re-did the illustrations, so you should be able to find it at the book store. It's based on his own childhood experience when he was four years old. Suzanne


One of my favorites is Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs, or something like that, by Tomie de Paola. The relationship between the little boy and his great-grandma is wonderful. She dies at the end, though, and you may not be ready to talk about *that* just yet! Sarah