Use grandkids' college fund for custody dispute??
When the twins were born I began to save for their college education in my own Roth IRA, the maximum annual contribution. I was planning on 16+ years growth. As the owner and contributor I can withdraw from the account any amount at any time.
My son is now (six months) the unwilling spouse in a high conflict divorce and custody battle. I am questioning my position that the grandtwin's college fund is inviolable, and weighing the pros and cons of spending some or all of the twin's fund for his myriad legal battles to counter parental alienation. His lawyer is doing a good job, but every email, phone call, letter, and motion costs $250/hour.
Dec 25, 2018
Parent Replies
This is such a personal decision, but I would spend the money in a heartbeat. Parental alienation is the worst and in my personal opinion is especially tough to counteract when it is implemented against the fathers since most (but not all) moms have a closer relationship with the kids while they are young. I feel ok saying it since I'm a mom and see some of my female acquaintances doing it to get back at the ex, which I think is totally messed up (though I stay out of it since it is none of my business and secretly glad that the dad is fighting them on this). Frankly, if your son fails in his battle to keep partial custody and counteract the parental alienation of the (I assume) mom then you likely would too effectively lose your grandchildren by not having a relationship with them. Would you really want to spend the money in your Roth IRA on the education of your grand-kids who you and your son hardly know and who don't feel that your son is their father? The twins can take loans out for college education, but if your son loses the custody battle and in countering parental alienation you and your son will likely lose out on having a relationship with the kids as they grow, and there is a decent chance you might not even want to pay for their college when the time comes. If this was my son, I would use all resources in my disposal (including their college fund) to help my son keep custody and a solid relationship with his kids.